P. Kaltenbach's definitions

look at it

A phrase a male uses when he is heavily intoxicated and wants to get a female's attention whilst whipping out his penis. Or in the case of pulling a look at it is just whipping out your penis whatever the situation.

Nathanial: Hey, Phil why don't you tell everyone the time you said, "LOOK AT IT".

Dude 1: So you pulled a look at it in the church?!?!?
Dude 2: Yeah, I don't know what came over me.

by P. Kaltenbach March 12, 2007

The Great Smurf Wars

An event caught in many segment by celebrated documentrist Jerry Springer in which segments of the smurf peoples went to war over ideological differences in regards to Marxism or Maoism and is it morally correct to call she-males smurfettes. The brutal affair claimed many and the streets ran blue with the snot/shit/blood/guts/tears/various body parts of the little buggers. May have gone unnoticed due to inconsequence height wise.

The Great Smurf Wars claimed enough Smurfmen that muffin mix companies just pick up the bodies and add them to their mixes being cheaper than blueberrys (see Smurf-Contra Affair).

by P. Kaltenbach January 13, 2008

liberal

Somehow very misconstrued in the American politic system because liberalism at least in the original sense despised government intervention (aka handouts) and various other modern day tenets of liberalism in the US. They believe in individual freedoms, laisse-faire economics, property rights, and limited government. The closest to true liberalism that you will get in the US is probably liberatiarinism but there are still some differences there.

If you want to see true liberals read Adam Smith, Voltaire, or Tom Paine.

by P. Kaltenbach January 9, 2008

machete

Something you pull on 10 guys wanting to jump you in the parking lot of a BP. Usually with an 18 inch blade and a thick hard plastic handle.

*Van pulls up and a gaggle of people jump out*
Jesse: Are you the fuckers I am supposed to whip the shit out of?
Me: HEY! Fuck you guys you are bringing 10 guys?!!? Well, this makes it even Jesse, Me, and this machete
*Van pulls away with quite a quickness*

by P. Kaltenbach January 16, 2008

the matador

1. When someone runs up on you with the intention of whipping ass and you side step then throw them down and beat the shit out of them.
2. The name given to when a chick tricks you into having sex with her on her period because like a bull you where tricked into trying to penetrate something red and undesirable.

1. Warren: I am going to get you mofo!
Me (after kicking some ass): You just got yourself the matador douche bag.
2. Nate: How was it?
Me: She gave me the matador treatment!
Nate: O, damn i hope you bought new sheets.

by P. Kaltenbach January 2, 2008

Moon pig

A usually frighteningly ugly white woman who decides to have sexual relations with the first black man that comes around even be it a hobo. Aptly named since,

A. Usually not reconized as a synonym for jungle fever
B. She lives on the moon in a metaphorical way because that black man is just trying to get back for 150 years of slavery not start a family.

Mike: See that moon pig right there!
Me: Damn straight that dude is going to get her prego and leave. I'd hate to see that baby it's going to be ugly as shit.

by P. Kaltenbach January 13, 2008

du hast mesh

Not as the dude above described unless you had a lisp. The real equivilant of "you hate me" is "du hasst mich".

Rammstein: Du hast mesh! Mein Sprache ist nicht sehr gut weil ich nur im Mund geschlagen wurde.

by P. Kaltenbach March 12, 2007