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P. Kaltenbach's definitions

Smurf-Contra Affair

The blueberries in out-of-package muffin mixes are really dead smurfs that have been stripped of their traditional clothing and put in an industrial food dehydrators. This is done to cut costs in the wake lagging muffin market of 1998 now just continued for the benefit of profit margin. They are gathered in Columbia by rebels to help pay for their Communist ambitions in the region.
The Smurf-Contra Affair is ongoing so I have declined blueberry muffins since 1998.
by P. Kaltenbach January 13, 2008
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Smurf

An indingenious group of small blue people that live primarily in the jungles of Columbia. Their traditional dress which isn't very adapted to the needs of concealment is the white stocking cap and white painter trousers. They are usually reconized as Hugonauts. Also, chased around by a crazy Columbian trying to boil them down into cocaine to make a living.
The smurfs were actually a peace loving people until divisions over whether to embark on a "cleansing" to wipe out bourgeouis scum should occur.
by P. Kaltenbach January 13, 2008
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Reign of Terror

A historical period of suppression of suspected royalists and Girondists by the left thinking revolutionists of the day. Some estimates of up to 40,000 people killed are speculated.
Frenchman 1: We need to get rid of the counter-revs!
Frenchman 2: Lets grab that little girl and behead her I think we won't have to surrender to her because she's French too!
Frenchman 1: Oui. Let us proceed with our Reign of Terror.
by P. Kaltenbach January 16, 2008
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GBWM

An acronym for George Bush's Weather Machine. It is commonly believed by Kayne West and others of his ilk that he unleashed this against the black folk of Louisana and that it could not have been the squandering of money, political corruption, or the local/state levels of government not requesting help from the federal level (no that would be too obvious) that could have caused the widespread flooding.
Kayne West: GEORGE BUSH HATES BLACK PEOPLE!

Me: What did he use the GBWM? Well, I guess people shouldn't live in Sodom when it is positioned beneath a shaky ass levy.
by P. Kaltenbach January 16, 2008
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machete

Something you pull on 10 guys wanting to jump you in the parking lot of a BP. Usually with an 18 inch blade and a thick hard plastic handle.
*Van pulls up and a gaggle of people jump out*
Jesse: Are you the fuckers I am supposed to whip the shit out of?
Me: HEY! Fuck you guys you are bringing 10 guys?!!? Well, this makes it even Jesse, Me, and this machete
*Van pulls away with quite a quickness*
by P. Kaltenbach January 16, 2008
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timothy mcveigh

Winner of the 1995 North American Fireworks prize for most impressive show of pyrotechnics in a public setting.
Announcer: Annnnndd...Yes...its Timothy McVeigh is the winner of this years trophy. Congrats.
by P. Kaltenbach January 16, 2008
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rofl copter commander

A person that uses rofl copter an obscene amount of times no matter the situation. This usually turns into a running joke.
by P. Kaltenbach February 5, 2008
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