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P. Kaltenbach's definitions

machete

Something you pull on 10 guys wanting to jump you in the parking lot of a BP. Usually with an 18 inch blade and a thick hard plastic handle.
*Van pulls up and a gaggle of people jump out*
Jesse: Are you the fuckers I am supposed to whip the shit out of?
Me: HEY! Fuck you guys you are bringing 10 guys?!!? Well, this makes it even Jesse, Me, and this machete
*Van pulls away with quite a quickness*
by P. Kaltenbach January 16, 2008
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rofl copter commander

A person that uses rofl copter an obscene amount of times no matter the situation. This usually turns into a running joke.
by P. Kaltenbach February 5, 2008
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liberal

Somehow very misconstrued in the American politic system because liberalism at least in the original sense despised government intervention (aka handouts) and various other modern day tenets of liberalism in the US. They believe in individual freedoms, laisse-faire economics, property rights, and limited government. The closest to true liberalism that you will get in the US is probably liberatiarinism but there are still some differences there.
If you want to see true liberals read Adam Smith, Voltaire, or Tom Paine.
by P. Kaltenbach January 9, 2008
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The Great Smurf Wars

An event caught in many segment by celebrated documentrist Jerry Springer in which segments of the smurf peoples went to war over ideological differences in regards to Marxism or Maoism and is it morally correct to call she-males smurfettes. The brutal affair claimed many and the streets ran blue with the snot/shit/blood/guts/tears/various body parts of the little buggers. May have gone unnoticed due to inconsequence height wise.
The Great Smurf Wars claimed enough Smurfmen that muffin mix companies just pick up the bodies and add them to their mixes being cheaper than blueberrys (see Smurf-Contra Affair).
by P. Kaltenbach January 13, 2008
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Pimp

A profession that isn't easy because it requires marketing, accounting, management, and collection duties beyond what most people are capable of.
That pimp no only got his money but prefected his buisness skills.
by P. Kaltenbach April 29, 2008
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the matador

1. When someone runs up on you with the intention of whipping ass and you side step then throw them down and beat the shit out of them.
2. The name given to when a chick tricks you into having sex with her on her period because like a bull you where tricked into trying to penetrate something red and undesirable.
1. Warren: I am going to get you mofo!
Me (after kicking some ass): You just got yourself the matador douche bag.
2. Nate: How was it?
Me: She gave me the matador treatment!
Nate: O, damn i hope you bought new sheets.
by P. Kaltenbach January 2, 2008
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Poverty

A virtual non-existant condition in the US since 99.9% of its citizens have access to shelter, food, and safe drinking water.
The welfare recipient complained about his poverty while watching his T.V. and enjoying microwaved taquitos. He had no idea of the abyssmal conditions elsewhere.
by P. Kaltenbach July 1, 2008
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