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If you have ever had a credit card company lose your payment you have probably experienced corporate doublespeak.
A good example; You get a late notice from your credit card company. Instead of paying the minimum you pay the entire account off. Afterward they keep sending late notices and making phone calls. You phone them, you e-mail them, and you even send letters by snail mail to them.
All responses you receive from them are in lawyer language. They admit nothing and say nothing that makes any sense except to say that you are late with your payment and you will be reported to the credit bureau. Then mysteriously two weeks after payment had been sent electronically to them the payment posts and the calls end.
A good example; You get a late notice from your credit card company. Instead of paying the minimum you pay the entire account off. Afterward they keep sending late notices and making phone calls. You phone them, you e-mail them, and you even send letters by snail mail to them.
All responses you receive from them are in lawyer language. They admit nothing and say nothing that makes any sense except to say that you are late with your payment and you will be reported to the credit bureau. Then mysteriously two weeks after payment had been sent electronically to them the payment posts and the calls end.
Wife: Why are we still getting those calls from the credit card company?
Husband: I paid them off a week ago but they say I did not. I have called them and e-mailed them. At first they act like I am lying. Then after they keep me on hold for a long time their tone turns cautious and they start talking in corporate doublespeak.
Husband: I paid them off a week ago but they say I did not. I have called them and e-mailed them. At first they act like I am lying. Then after they keep me on hold for a long time their tone turns cautious and they start talking in corporate doublespeak.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter September 16, 2012
Get the Corporate Doublespeak mug.A. Someone who fails chemistry class.
B. Derogatory name for people who believe in the existence of
chemtrails.
B. Derogatory name for people who believe in the existence of
chemtrails.
A. Dude I failed my chemistry class, I'm such a chemtard!
B. Dude did you just hear what Adam said? He claims the Illuminati are trying to take over the world by injecting poison in the contrails of jet planes. He is such a chemtard.
B. Dude did you just hear what Adam said? He claims the Illuminati are trying to take over the world by injecting poison in the contrails of jet planes. He is such a chemtard.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter July 10, 2012
Get the Chemtard mug.Old Jack volunteered to be a scoutmaster to cruise for young boys. He organized many circle jerks. He was what is known as a chicken hawk.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter November 17, 2020
Get the Chicken hawk mug.A person who had a lifetime hatred of cats. One who used to tell tales of how evil they were. Then one day their girlfriend or wife, or kid, or etc. forces them to live with a cat. Cats are attracted to cat haters. This particular cat also turns out to be intelligent, friendly and loving. The cat hater eventually sees kitty do something funny, looks at kitty and says, " You'll do cat,you got a home with me." At this point kitty will look at the former cat hater and blink hi eyes one time. In cat talk this can mean different things but in this case it means "I like you too."
A converted cat hater becomes a cat defender. They get angry when people say bad things about them. They become homicidal if they think somebody is going to hurt their cat.
A converted cat hater becomes a cat defender. They get angry when people say bad things about them. They become homicidal if they think somebody is going to hurt their cat.
Two bored teenagers are crusing a tiny midwestern village late at night.
Teen 1; I'm bored man, lets do something, lets tear this fucking little town up, take that gun and shoot at some houses.
Teen 2; This is the town where Billy was killed. He shot at a house and within 15 seconds half the town was shooting at him.
Teen 1, Bad idea, take my pellet rifle, it makes less noise, and start shooting their fucking cats. Everybody in this town hates cats. We will be hero's to them.
Teen 2. Aims the pellet rifle at a cat but before he can shoot the back window of their car explodes. Then they hear the distinct sound of another round being jacked in to a pump shot gun.
Teen 1. "Lets get the fuck out of here dude!" "That's a converted cat hater with a gun and they WILL kill us."
The teens later meet their buddies. They tell their friends "Some asshole shot our back window out but that's OK." We really beat the shit out of him and we tore that little town up before we left," "You shoulda seen it man, they was all scared of us and acting like bitches."
Teen 1; I'm bored man, lets do something, lets tear this fucking little town up, take that gun and shoot at some houses.
Teen 2; This is the town where Billy was killed. He shot at a house and within 15 seconds half the town was shooting at him.
Teen 1, Bad idea, take my pellet rifle, it makes less noise, and start shooting their fucking cats. Everybody in this town hates cats. We will be hero's to them.
Teen 2. Aims the pellet rifle at a cat but before he can shoot the back window of their car explodes. Then they hear the distinct sound of another round being jacked in to a pump shot gun.
Teen 1. "Lets get the fuck out of here dude!" "That's a converted cat hater with a gun and they WILL kill us."
The teens later meet their buddies. They tell their friends "Some asshole shot our back window out but that's OK." We really beat the shit out of him and we tore that little town up before we left," "You shoulda seen it man, they was all scared of us and acting like bitches."
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Get the Converted Cat Hater mug.The elderly politician told his grankids about how he faced down a gangbanger named Corn Pop and bravely defeated him when in reality he'd pee'd his pants and said "Please Mr.Big Scary black man, don't hurt me!!!" Corn Pop took pity on him and only bitch slapped him a few times.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter January 20, 2021
Get the Corn Pop mug.A word used by kids and adults years ago that seems to have fallen out of use but still used occasionally.
A word that a kid used when they hit their fingers accidentally with a hammer or was hurt suddenly in an unexpected way. They used this word in place of curse words like damn, damnit, or any other cuss word that comes to mind. Many times you'd get a whipping anyway for saying a word close to a curse word.
This was done because years ago adults did not want their kids to cuss. It did not matter if you came from a religious family or not. Sometimes the non-religious would whip you harder than a religious person would.
A word that a kid used when they hit their fingers accidentally with a hammer or was hurt suddenly in an unexpected way. They used this word in place of curse words like damn, damnit, or any other cuss word that comes to mind. Many times you'd get a whipping anyway for saying a word close to a curse word.
This was done because years ago adults did not want their kids to cuss. It did not matter if you came from a religious family or not. Sometimes the non-religious would whip you harder than a religious person would.
Kid 1. "Momma whipped me yesterday." "I still can't sit down too long."
Kid 2. "I am sorry!" "I still remember that one your mom gave me." "When I got home and told my mom about it she whipped me too." "I got a third when dad got off work." " By the way what happened this time????"
Kid 1. "A thunderstorm was coming." Mom told me to run the chickens back into their chicken house." "I got them all in except for the rooster, you know, the one that flogs us when our backs are turned."
Kid 2 " Yeah I know that....(Slaps hand over mouth aand looks around in fear)
Kid 1 "I got mad at that rooster." "I was already mad at him because he'd cut me with his spurs a few days ago when he flogged me." I was so mad I actually said "Dang old rooster"".
Kid 2. And your momma heard you?"
Kid 1. "You git that right." " You put your hand over your mouth earlier instead of saying a cuss word which means you probably thought a cuss word." Does your mom whip you for thinking cuss words too."
Kid 2 "Yes." "I can't wait until I grow up and cuss like daddy does."
Kid 1. " You ain't even safe then." "Momma heard dad say a bad word and told him he was acting like White Trash."
Kid 2. "I am sorry!" "I still remember that one your mom gave me." "When I got home and told my mom about it she whipped me too." "I got a third when dad got off work." " By the way what happened this time????"
Kid 1. "A thunderstorm was coming." Mom told me to run the chickens back into their chicken house." "I got them all in except for the rooster, you know, the one that flogs us when our backs are turned."
Kid 2 " Yeah I know that....(Slaps hand over mouth aand looks around in fear)
Kid 1 "I got mad at that rooster." "I was already mad at him because he'd cut me with his spurs a few days ago when he flogged me." I was so mad I actually said "Dang old rooster"".
Kid 2. And your momma heard you?"
Kid 1. "You git that right." " You put your hand over your mouth earlier instead of saying a cuss word which means you probably thought a cuss word." Does your mom whip you for thinking cuss words too."
Kid 2 "Yes." "I can't wait until I grow up and cuss like daddy does."
Kid 1. " You ain't even safe then." "Momma heard dad say a bad word and told him he was acting like White Trash."
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Get the Dang mug.A movement in California whose goal is to seceed from the USA nd maybe even take Oregon and the state of Washington along with them.
The goal is to create a social justice utopia. This issue may come up in California's 2019 election.
The goal is to create a social justice utopia. This issue may come up in California's 2019 election.
After Calexit , Billy Bob, California's only redneck, escaped across the border back into the USA while being pursued by a howling mob of Social Justice Warriors.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter November 28, 2016
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