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If you have ever had a credit card company lose your payment you have probably experienced corporate doublespeak.
A good example; You get a late notice from your credit card company. Instead of paying the minimum you pay the entire account off. Afterward they keep sending late notices and making phone calls. You phone them, you e-mail them, and you even send letters by snail mail to them.
All responses you receive from them are in lawyer language. They admit nothing and say nothing that makes any sense except to say that you are late with your payment and you will be reported to the credit bureau. Then mysteriously two weeks after payment had been sent electronically to them the payment posts and the calls end.
A good example; You get a late notice from your credit card company. Instead of paying the minimum you pay the entire account off. Afterward they keep sending late notices and making phone calls. You phone them, you e-mail them, and you even send letters by snail mail to them.
All responses you receive from them are in lawyer language. They admit nothing and say nothing that makes any sense except to say that you are late with your payment and you will be reported to the credit bureau. Then mysteriously two weeks after payment had been sent electronically to them the payment posts and the calls end.
Wife: Why are we still getting those calls from the credit card company?
Husband: I paid them off a week ago but they say I did not. I have called them and e-mailed them. At first they act like I am lying. Then after they keep me on hold for a long time their tone turns cautious and they start talking in corporate doublespeak.
Husband: I paid them off a week ago but they say I did not. I have called them and e-mailed them. At first they act like I am lying. Then after they keep me on hold for a long time their tone turns cautious and they start talking in corporate doublespeak.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter September 16, 2012
Get the Corporate Doublespeak mug.The man or woman who whenever a movie is made about a mental hospital is always portrayed as a hero. In those movies they play the role of the tireless defender of the mentally ill who fights against the system. In real life they are the ones who run the mental hospitals therefore they are the system. Movies are like this because most writers of these scripts have been patients at mental hospitals. Social workers readily accept credit for the good and are even better at putting the blame for bad situations off on the Doctors, nurses, aides, and that ambiguous entity called "The team."
Sally the the social worker ordered Adam the aide to take Mary the mental patient's personal radio away from her because she only earned four stars out of five in Sally's therapy group. Adam takes the radio. Mary the mental patient complains to Sally the social worker about Adam the aide taking her radio. Sally tells Mary she has "No clue" why Adam did that. Mary assaults Adam with a heavy object causing him permanent brain damage. Mary then files abuse and neglect charges against Adam. Sally and Mary both testify against him and he is fired. The local newspaper hears of this and does a story that portrays Sally as a hero and Mary as the heroic victim. The team of social workers who run the institution see to it that Adam gets denied both medical care and unemployment benefits. Adam tries fighting them in court but with brain damage he can't think clearly and neglects his personal appearance. The jury at the trial had all seen a movie the previous night about a mental hospital where the aides were bullies, the patients were victims, and the social workers were heros. Adam does 3 months in jail for his supposed assault against mary and now roams the streets homeless. Sally gets a big promotion. Mary wins a lawsuit against the mental institution and was filthy rich for a short time. A well meaning but incompetent social worker mismanaged her funds.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 30, 2011
Get the Social Worker mug.A derogatory name for supporters of Donald Trump invented by people who went into debt for thousands of dollars for what turned out to be a fake college degree. They are angry at Trump and his followers for not bailing them out of their debt and providing them with a job.
It's not entirely their fault. In years gone by colleges were into actually educating people. In this era they are only interested in generating revenue for themselves. They are like used car salespeople. Tell any lie to get your maney.
It's not entirely their fault. In years gone by colleges were into actually educating people. In this era they are only interested in generating revenue for themselves. They are like used car salespeople. Tell any lie to get your maney.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter February 14, 2021
Get the Trumpanzee mug.A. Someone who fails Chemistry class.
B. Derogatory term for those who believe in the existence of Chemtrails. They believe that George Bush I & II, Obama, The Illuminati, The National Weather Service, FEMA, Big Pharma, Rich People, Wall Street, and whatever villain they dream up, Are putting chemicals in the exhaust fumes of Jet airplanes.
Those who believe in the existence of chemtrails are usually decent people who sincerely believe that they have a simple answer to all the problems of the world. They want to change things for the better
B. Derogatory term for those who believe in the existence of Chemtrails. They believe that George Bush I & II, Obama, The Illuminati, The National Weather Service, FEMA, Big Pharma, Rich People, Wall Street, and whatever villain they dream up, Are putting chemicals in the exhaust fumes of Jet airplanes.
Those who believe in the existence of chemtrails are usually decent people who sincerely believe that they have a simple answer to all the problems of the world. They want to change things for the better
Two Nigerian scammers are in a world of hurt. Their Governor has put them on his "To be killed" list. It seems that they had FINALLY scammed the wrong person on e-bay motors.
These two have made their governor millions of dollars from their scams however this flow of money appears to be ending because too many people are up in arms. They are demanding Nigeria be cut off of the internet. The governor has put the blame on these two.
The scammers know that if they can come up with a bunch more money they will be taken off the hit list, the question is how.
One of them happens to look up in the sky and sees the contrail from a jet plane and an idea forms. He tells his friend " We shall start a scam we have nothing to sell but an idea. One where people cannot prove we did anything illegal and people who believe us will defend us passionately AND, most important send us money.
Thus the chemtrail conspiracy is born. The scammers are back in the good graces of the Governor and are still scamming on e-bay motors. They call the people who support them Chemtards.
These two have made their governor millions of dollars from their scams however this flow of money appears to be ending because too many people are up in arms. They are demanding Nigeria be cut off of the internet. The governor has put the blame on these two.
The scammers know that if they can come up with a bunch more money they will be taken off the hit list, the question is how.
One of them happens to look up in the sky and sees the contrail from a jet plane and an idea forms. He tells his friend " We shall start a scam we have nothing to sell but an idea. One where people cannot prove we did anything illegal and people who believe us will defend us passionately AND, most important send us money.
Thus the chemtrail conspiracy is born. The scammers are back in the good graces of the Governor and are still scamming on e-bay motors. They call the people who support them Chemtards.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter October 23, 2014
Get the Chemtard mug.This is the cleaned up highly edited version of my original post that was rejected by editors possibly because of mild cuss words.
A. A breed of dog known as the Dachshund. It comes in both standard and miniature sizes. Their coats range from shorthair to longhair. Some are aloof to strangers and save their love for their owners. If socialized properly they will be very friendly to most BUT NOT ALL STRANGERS.
B. An affectionate term used by dachshund owners due to the breed looking like a hot dog on a bun.
C. Sometimes used as a derogatory term by people who don't like this breed of dog.
D. A word that makes former dachshund haters angry. These people are worse than former cat haters and are very defensive of this breed.
A. A breed of dog known as the Dachshund. It comes in both standard and miniature sizes. Their coats range from shorthair to longhair. Some are aloof to strangers and save their love for their owners. If socialized properly they will be very friendly to most BUT NOT ALL STRANGERS.
B. An affectionate term used by dachshund owners due to the breed looking like a hot dog on a bun.
C. Sometimes used as a derogatory term by people who don't like this breed of dog.
D. A word that makes former dachshund haters angry. These people are worse than former cat haters and are very defensive of this breed.
A man who formerly hated dachshunds is seen walking a female longhaired miniature dachshund down the street. The dog is strutting because she is proud of her new owner, loves him tremendously, and in dog language is saying "Look at us." "This is my new human and I love him."
The owner meets up with his friends. They start needling him. The one says " Yer old lady got a wiener dog and now she is MAKING you walk." " You have turned in to a pathetic wuss."
The man picks up the Idiot who made that remark by the lapels of his shirt and has his feet dangling in the air." The dachshund has flipped from happy to angry and is nipping at the victims heels. The dachshund owner says " First off you will NO call my dachshund a wiener dog again." Secondly I just had an argument with me wife." " We were arguing because she wanted to walk the dog and I wanted to walk her too." Third off you (Censored) do you ever wonder why you are 50 years old and can't keep a wife or a girlfriend for any length of time?"At that point the idiot finally makes the first right decision he's made in a long time. He apologizes. They have been friends for a long time and he does not want to hear what his friend thinks of his ability to keep a woman.
The owner meets up with his friends. They start needling him. The one says " Yer old lady got a wiener dog and now she is MAKING you walk." " You have turned in to a pathetic wuss."
The man picks up the Idiot who made that remark by the lapels of his shirt and has his feet dangling in the air." The dachshund has flipped from happy to angry and is nipping at the victims heels. The dachshund owner says " First off you will NO call my dachshund a wiener dog again." Secondly I just had an argument with me wife." " We were arguing because she wanted to walk the dog and I wanted to walk her too." Third off you (Censored) do you ever wonder why you are 50 years old and can't keep a wife or a girlfriend for any length of time?"At that point the idiot finally makes the first right decision he's made in a long time. He apologizes. They have been friends for a long time and he does not want to hear what his friend thinks of his ability to keep a woman.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Get the Wiener Dog mug.A word that used to mean punishment for a child who had done wrong. When done fairly and properly the child usually did not commit that particular crime again. Some parents used it only as a means of last resort. Other parents spanked their kids for every little thing they did which actually had the opposite effect.
Spanking has fallen into disfavor these days for more "Progressive" means of "Educating" children. The advocates of the progressive system say that you must never strike a child. They say that if your child hits you with a broom handle you are to sit them down and educate them that they should not do that because it hurts people. Never tell them that it's wrong because that may hurt their self esteem and psychologically harm them,
The advocates of the progressive way are usually childless, single people who write books on how to raise your kids. They usually have long impressive titles behind their names that make them look like really smart people who know everything about raising kids. In reality they only spent as little time as possible with kids. Most of their time was spent kissing up to the professors in whatever diploma mill (College) they attended. This happens far more than you think.
Spanking has fallen into disfavor these days for more "Progressive" means of "Educating" children. The advocates of the progressive system say that you must never strike a child. They say that if your child hits you with a broom handle you are to sit them down and educate them that they should not do that because it hurts people. Never tell them that it's wrong because that may hurt their self esteem and psychologically harm them,
The advocates of the progressive way are usually childless, single people who write books on how to raise your kids. They usually have long impressive titles behind their names that make them look like really smart people who know everything about raising kids. In reality they only spent as little time as possible with kids. Most of their time was spent kissing up to the professors in whatever diploma mill (College) they attended. This happens far more than you think.
2012 parent 1;Honey look at this book!" When we have our first kid this is exactly what we will do!"
2012 parent 2; "Is that the book that advises against spanking??"
2012 parent 1; "Why yes it is!" "This person is really smart and knows what they are talking about! " Look at all those titles after their name!" This is one awesome super smart person and we will raise our kids just like they say!."
20 years later
1."Honey!! the jail called again we need bail money!"
2. "Which kid?"
1. "I dunno"
2. " I don't have it but maybe I will after I sue the idiot that wrote that book."
1. " We can't do that, they moved to the Caymans to escape paying taxes on the childcare books they write."
2. " That's right, they pushed for high taxes on the wealthy, and when the law passed they moved out of the USA to the Caymans where they still talk about everybody paying their fair share." Now they are saying that even the poor should pay taxes.
2012 parent 2; "Is that the book that advises against spanking??"
2012 parent 1; "Why yes it is!" "This person is really smart and knows what they are talking about! " Look at all those titles after their name!" This is one awesome super smart person and we will raise our kids just like they say!."
20 years later
1."Honey!! the jail called again we need bail money!"
2. "Which kid?"
1. "I dunno"
2. " I don't have it but maybe I will after I sue the idiot that wrote that book."
1. " We can't do that, they moved to the Caymans to escape paying taxes on the childcare books they write."
2. " That's right, they pushed for high taxes on the wealthy, and when the law passed they moved out of the USA to the Caymans where they still talk about everybody paying their fair share." Now they are saying that even the poor should pay taxes.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Get the Spanking mug.Bob: "Hey Tim have you met John's sister yet?"
Tim; "No."
Bob; "She looks like John with tits"
Tim; "Ugh!"
Bob; " Yep she's a real erection killer."
The names in this story were changed to protect the guilty. It's based on an real conversation that happened many years ago.
Tim; "No."
Bob; "She looks like John with tits"
Tim; "Ugh!"
Bob; " Yep she's a real erection killer."
The names in this story were changed to protect the guilty. It's based on an real conversation that happened many years ago.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter March 8, 2012
Get the Erection Killer mug.