OD Smith's definitions

Hannibal Barca

The greatest military tactician in history, and general of the Carthaginian armies in both Punic Wars against Rome.

Inventor of the pincers movement, pioneered in the Battle of Cannae (216BC), the greatest defeat in Roman military history, and the third of his three great victories over Roman forces (following River Trebia in 218BC and Lake Trasimene in 217BC).

The Carthaginian empire spanned from Tunisia (where Carthage is) through Libya and most of North Africa, Spain, Mallorca, Corsica, Sicily, and Sardinia.

His name also inspired the name of the city of Barcelona, which was once part of the Carthaginian empire.

Alexander the Great may have had the numbers and the massive empire, but Hannibal Barca had the tactics, the better cavalry and ELEPHANTS!!!

by OD Smith August 23, 2007

French military victories

When the French win in battle - which they have done, only Americans won't believe it because they're pissy and moronic, in equal measure.

A list of notable French military victories:
Battle of Allia (387 BC)
Battle of Gergovia (52 BC)
Battle of Soissons (486)
Battle of Tolbaic (496)
Battle of Vouille (507)
Battle of Tours (732)
Battle of Pavia (773)
Battle for Paris (885-6)
Battle of Val-es-Dunes (1047)
Battle of Hastings (1066)
Battle of Dorylaeum (1097)
Battle of Ascalon (1099)
Battle of Montgisard (1177)
Battle of Bouvines (1214)
Battle of Morlaix (1342)
Battle of Ardres (1351)
Battle of Cocherel (1364)
Battle of Montiel (1369)
Battle of La Rochelle (1372)
Battle of Chiset (1373)
Battle of Roosebeke (1382)
Battle of Bauge (1421)
Siege of Orleans (1428-9)
Battle of Jargeau (1429)
Battle of Beaugency (1429)
Battle of Patay (1429)
Siege of Compiegne (1429)
Battle of Gerbevoy (1435)
Battle of Formigny (1450)
Battle of Castillon (1453)
Battle of Agnadello (1509)
Battle of Marignano (1515)
Battle of Ceresole (1544)
Battle of Rocroi (1643)
Battle of Nordlingen (1645)
Battle of Lens (1648)
Battle of Dunes (1658)
Battle of Fleurus (1690)
Battle of Beachy Head (1690)
Battle of Landen (1693)
Battle of Denain (1712)
Battle of Fontenoy (1745)
Battle of Roucoux (1746)
Battle of Lauffeld (1747)
Battle of Hastenbeck (1757)
Battle of Carillon (1758)
Battle of Yorktown (1781)
Battle of the Chesapeake (1781)
Battle of Valmy (1792)
Battle of Fleurus (1794)
Battle of Lodi (1796)
Battle of Castiglione (1796)
Battle of the Bridge of Arcole (1796)
Battle of Diersheim (1797)
Battle of Rivoli (1797)
Battle of the Pyramids (1798)
Battle of Mount Tabor (1799)
Battle of Abukir (1799)
Second Battle of Zurich (1799)
Battle of Marengo (1800)
Battle of Hohenlinden (1800)
Battle of Austerlitz (1805)
Battle of Jena (1806)
Battle of Jena-Auerstedt (1806)
Battle of Friedland (1807)
Battle of Tudela (1808)
Battle of Ucles (1809)
Battle of Ciudad-Real (1809)
Battle of Eckmuhl (1809)
Battle of Wagram (1809)
Battle of Medellin (1809)
Battle of Ocana (1809)
Battle of Smolensk (1812)
Battle of Borodino (1812)
Battle of Dresden (1813)
Battle of Lutzen (1813)
Battle of Vauchamps (1814)
Battle of Ligny (1815)
Battle of Trocadero (1823)
Battle of Navarino (1827)
Invasion of Algeria (1830)
Battle of Balaclava (1854)
Battle of Malakoff (1855)
Battle of Solferino (1859)
Battle of Foochow (1884)
First Battle of the Marne (1914)
Togoland (1914)
Battle of Ypres (1914)
Battle of Verdun (1916)
Battle of Vimy Ridge (1917)
Second Battle of the Marne (1918)
Battle of Belleau Wood (1918)
Battle of Chateau-Thierry (1918)
Battle of Amiens (1918)
Battle of Maysalun (1922)
Battle of Koufra (1941)
Battle of Normandy (1944)
Operation Dragoon (1944)
Operation Desert Storm (1991)
Cote d'Ivoire (2003)

by OD Smith August 24, 2008

ultraspank

California five-piece that had two albums (Ultraspank and Progress) on Sony, before splitting up due to not being simplistic enough to appeal to Middle America.

Shame, since they were rather damn good...even though you got weird looks in HMV when asking for their CDs.

Go on Amazon, for God's sake...

by OD Smith March 29, 2005

the game

The latest in a long line of poseur rappers to fall off the burgeoning production line with generic gangsta cliches spilling from his mouth at every turn, who'd be nothing if he didn't have 50 Cent and Doctor Dre singing his praises (although the former decided to stop because he forgot to act all tough or something and complimented another rapper - fucking children that they are).

Doesn't get his name from watching WWE wrestling. Honest.

"I'm a white boy that wants to act tough, so I'll buy The Game's CD and only listen to How We Do on repeat play."

by OD Smith March 10, 2005

homoeroticism

The cover to 50 Cent's "The Massacre" CD.

"My word, that Fiddy Scent looks all man in that unintentionally homoerotic picture."

by OD Smith March 30, 2005

connex

Former franchise holders of South Eastern railways who were hilariously inept...unless you happened to live in their catchment area and needed to catch a frigging train at some point.

Mercifully, they lost their license and trains started to run at (vaguely) the right time. However, they got the bus franchise in the same area, so sales of umbrellas went up 650% overnight.

1.) "Where's my fucking train? It should've been here twenty five minutes ago..."
2.) "Where's my fucking bus? It should've been here twenty five minutes ago..."

by OD Smith April 6, 2005

jimmy carr

Tosser that seems to present 72% of Channel 4's output, especially their 100 Greatest lists, but is about as funny as a case of cholera. He must have a damn good agent, though.

"I wonder who'll be presenting The 100 Greatest Nazi War Atrocities on Channel 4? Oh look, it's that wanker Jimmy Carr. Can't they afford somebody better or something?"

by OD Smith March 7, 2005