OD Smith's definitions

7/7

A very crass attempt by journalists to rope the 7th of July bombings in London to 9/11. They had previously tried to dub the Madrid bombing 3/11, but strangely forgot to try this method for the Bali bombing. Of course, they don't realise how irresponsible this is due to the fact it will instantly create the impression Osama bin-Laden was involved so the reactionary press will bleat on about al-Que'da for days on end and get in the way of the police finding who was actually responsible (and it was neither al-Que'da or embittered members of the Paris Olympic Committee).

Journo 1: What will we call this attack on London?
Journo 2: Well, if 11th September is forever known as 9/11, why not call it 7/7?
Journo 1: Don't you think that's crass, as you can't compare the death of 3000 people with 56?
Journo 2: No, as we're responsible people and our readers have the intellect to discern the two bombings and not create a link in their heads, as we obviously won't have created it...

by OD Smith September 12, 2006

nathan barley

Proof that even Chris Morris can write a pile of crap.

How did the genius behind The Day Today and Brass Eye come up with unwatchable catshite like Nathan Barley?

by OD Smith March 10, 2005

marilyn manson

The easiest person for The Daily Mail to blame for whatever is wrong with today's society.

Marilyn Manson inspired the Columbine kids to shoot up their High School.

Marilyn Manson influenced Luke Mitchell to kill Jodi Jones.

by OD Smith February 16, 2005

Leona Lewis

Simon Cowell's Weapon of Mass Destruction - who appears to be getting whiter.

Since we seemed to have cloned her with Alexandra Burke, I guess we have to make Leona Lewis whiter.

by OD Smith December 27, 2008

Kano Sisters

AKA Kano Shimai.

Japan's answer to the Hilton Sisters, although neither of them are as irritating and overexposed as Paris, and they've been around for a few years.

Multitasking between acting, singing, modelling and generally turning up everywhere, Mika and Kyoko are at the pinnacle of Japan's star system.

Does anyone know the Japanese for "Oh look, it's The Kano Sisters?!?

by OD Smith May 15, 2005

Anna Kournikova

For several years, the most famous Russian sportsperson for her exploits (or lack thereof) on the tennis courts. In fact, she earned far more money through advertising deals due to being extraordinarily sexy indeed and looking good advertising sports bras and having FHM shoots than anything she did on court. Mainly as she, famously, never won a single tournament but regularly packed the courts at Wimbledon when playing, before retiring at the age of 23.

The success of Maria Sharapova, fit and a good player with a Wimbledon victory aged 19 in 2004 ended comparisons very quickly indeed.

"Come on Anna!" - The average Wimbledon spectator, either showing his support of projecting his sexual fantasy. Probably both.

by OD Smith July 3, 2005

Daily Mail

1.) The Fearmonger's Bible.
2.) A paper for Middle Class, Middle Aged, Middle Englanders' wives.
3.) Where bad journalists go to get paid employment.
4.) Not a tabloid, honest.

1.) "Britain is being overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer..."
2.) "My word, dear. Britain appears to be overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer..."
3.) "I have no journalistic integrity whatsoever, so I'll state that Britain is being overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer..."
4.) "We state the Truth, such as 'Britain is being overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer...', which you won't see in The Sun."

by OD Smith April 8, 2005