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OD Smith's definitions

microsoft access

An absolutly evil database programme, which serves no purpose other than driving you clinically insane at a remarkably quick pace.

Never used in the workplace, so it's ppointless to be taught how to use it in GCSE or A-Level IT.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!! Why won't it recognise this goddamn formula like a normal person?!?"
by OD Smith March 29, 2005
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jodie marsh

Since we can't afford to pay Jordan to wear very little in our magazine, we might as well phone Jodie Marsh.
by OD Smith March 10, 2005
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WWA

Wiggas With Attitude - when a bunch of white kids have listened to their Game CDs far too often, and start to believe that they're in some way gangstas. No matter how utterly moronic they look, talk, dress, act...
"Straight outta Croydon, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cream,
From the gang called Wiggaz With Attitudes..."
by OD Smith April 29, 2005
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Jose Mourninho

1.) Current manger of Chelsea (at least on the date of posting).
2.) The least popular Portuguese person in human history.
3.) A bit of a paradox - he's an arrogant bastard, but he says far more intelligent and insightful comments than Alex Ferguson ever could.
1.) "Who'se that bloke in the dugout with the designer stubble and bad trenchcoat?"
2.) "Who'se that bloke instigating death threats against referee Anders Frisk, just because his team lost to Barcelona?"
3.) "Who'se that bloke who nailed it on the head by saying an interview at Porto from the Portuguese press was verbatim so nothing could be taken out of context, which triggered nervous laughter from the assembled tabloid hacks at the last press conference?"
by OD Smith March 21, 2005
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malcolm glazer

1.) The new owner of Manchester United, which has really upset those fans that haven't started to support their local teams (i.e, Chelsea or Arsenal) at a really convenient time, yet they cannot seem to put together a rational argument about why he isn't good for the club - especially when they bleat about him turning the club into a business when he patently isn't. Martin Edwards did that a decade ago, didn't you know? Then again, MUPLC fans were bleating about Magnier and McManus a couple of years ago for similar reasons.

2.) Owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the NFL, which means he just needs to buy an Australian Rules team to get the full set.
An American gentleman that owns 75% of all MUPLC shares. Not many other examples of that now, are there?
by OD Smith July 18, 2008
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drag

The last, desperate attempt of somebody who is remarkably unfunny to get a cheap laugh. Especially if more than 51% of their act involves them dressing up as women.
About 70% of the characters in Little Britain.
by OD Smith February 16, 2005
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jello biafra

Former frontman for The Dead Kennedys, before the band split due to being persecuted by Tipper Gore for including the Giger artwork "Penis Landscape" with their Frankenchrist album (although you can still send off the coupon included to own it if you want to).

Since then has gone on to be a well reknowned spoken word artist/activist with several CDs to his name (Become the Media, Machine Gun in the Clown's Hand etc.) and even a Presidential candidate for the Green party. However, the rest of his former band are intent on suing him for not selling out and using classic DK standard Holiday in Cambodia in a Levis commercial.

Also worked with Ministry in the Lard side project, and has featured on tracks for bands as diverse as Pitchshifter, Sepultura and The Presidents of the USA, with a few acting credits as well.
Let's face it - no matter what he does, he'll always be remembered for being the bloke that sang Too Drunk to Fuck...
by OD Smith September 14, 2005
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