OD Smith's definitions

French military victories

When the French win in battle - which they have done, only Americans won't believe it because they're pissy and moronic, in equal measure.

A list of notable French military victories:
Battle of Allia (387 BC)
Battle of Gergovia (52 BC)
Battle of Soissons (486)
Battle of Tolbaic (496)
Battle of Vouille (507)
Battle of Tours (732)
Battle of Pavia (773)
Battle for Paris (885-6)
Battle of Val-es-Dunes (1047)
Battle of Hastings (1066)
Battle of Dorylaeum (1097)
Battle of Ascalon (1099)
Battle of Montgisard (1177)
Battle of Bouvines (1214)
Battle of Morlaix (1342)
Battle of Ardres (1351)
Battle of Cocherel (1364)
Battle of Montiel (1369)
Battle of La Rochelle (1372)
Battle of Chiset (1373)
Battle of Roosebeke (1382)
Battle of Bauge (1421)
Siege of Orleans (1428-9)
Battle of Jargeau (1429)
Battle of Beaugency (1429)
Battle of Patay (1429)
Siege of Compiegne (1429)
Battle of Gerbevoy (1435)
Battle of Formigny (1450)
Battle of Castillon (1453)
Battle of Agnadello (1509)
Battle of Marignano (1515)
Battle of Ceresole (1544)
Battle of Rocroi (1643)
Battle of Nordlingen (1645)
Battle of Lens (1648)
Battle of Dunes (1658)
Battle of Fleurus (1690)
Battle of Beachy Head (1690)
Battle of Landen (1693)
Battle of Denain (1712)
Battle of Fontenoy (1745)
Battle of Roucoux (1746)
Battle of Lauffeld (1747)
Battle of Hastenbeck (1757)
Battle of Carillon (1758)
Battle of Yorktown (1781)
Battle of the Chesapeake (1781)
Battle of Valmy (1792)
Battle of Fleurus (1794)
Battle of Lodi (1796)
Battle of Castiglione (1796)
Battle of the Bridge of Arcole (1796)
Battle of Diersheim (1797)
Battle of Rivoli (1797)
Battle of the Pyramids (1798)
Battle of Mount Tabor (1799)
Battle of Abukir (1799)
Second Battle of Zurich (1799)
Battle of Marengo (1800)
Battle of Hohenlinden (1800)
Battle of Austerlitz (1805)
Battle of Jena (1806)
Battle of Jena-Auerstedt (1806)
Battle of Friedland (1807)
Battle of Tudela (1808)
Battle of Ucles (1809)
Battle of Ciudad-Real (1809)
Battle of Eckmuhl (1809)
Battle of Wagram (1809)
Battle of Medellin (1809)
Battle of Ocana (1809)
Battle of Smolensk (1812)
Battle of Borodino (1812)
Battle of Dresden (1813)
Battle of Lutzen (1813)
Battle of Vauchamps (1814)
Battle of Ligny (1815)
Battle of Trocadero (1823)
Battle of Navarino (1827)
Invasion of Algeria (1830)
Battle of Balaclava (1854)
Battle of Malakoff (1855)
Battle of Solferino (1859)
Battle of Foochow (1884)
First Battle of the Marne (1914)
Togoland (1914)
Battle of Ypres (1914)
Battle of Verdun (1916)
Battle of Vimy Ridge (1917)
Second Battle of the Marne (1918)
Battle of Belleau Wood (1918)
Battle of Chateau-Thierry (1918)
Battle of Amiens (1918)
Battle of Maysalun (1922)
Battle of Koufra (1941)
Battle of Normandy (1944)
Operation Dragoon (1944)
Operation Desert Storm (1991)
Cote d'Ivoire (2003)

by OD Smith August 24, 2008

ultraspank

California five-piece that had two albums (Ultraspank and Progress) on Sony, before splitting up due to not being simplistic enough to appeal to Middle America.

Shame, since they were rather damn good...even though you got weird looks in HMV when asking for their CDs.

Go on Amazon, for God's sake...

by OD Smith March 29, 2005

Dumark

The opposite of a smark: the wrestling fan that cheers for who they're told to, as opposed to wrestlers with far more talent who put on far superior matches, no matter how detrimental to the product that person truly is.

This is especially prevalent in the WWE and TNA - orginisations that thrive on the crowd not thinking for themselves.

"Stop cheering for John Cena, you braindead dumark."

by OD Smith September 29, 2007

work placement

Another charming aspect of being on New Deal. After a certain amount of time on one of their ridiculous excuses for a training course, they decide to send out "students" on Wok Placement - ignoring the question of how, exactly, can you find paid work when you're stuck in a fucking office all day and not being paid for a second of it.

Essentially, it proves slavery is alive and well in the First World, as well as helping corrupt capitalists make a shitload of money at your expense? How? Put it this way - would Tesco want to hire ten people to stack their shelves for a salary every year, or a steady stream of unpaid labour from delivered from CETS every month to do the same? You work it out.

"I'm afraid you have to go on Work Placement in a place totally unsuited to you just so we don't have to help you find a job, which we're set up for, and help companies get fatter and fatter profits each and every year - which they pay us for."

by OD Smith April 14, 2005

microsoft access

An absolutly evil database programme, which serves no purpose other than driving you clinically insane at a remarkably quick pace.

Never used in the workplace, so it's ppointless to be taught how to use it in GCSE or A-Level IT.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!! Why won't it recognise this goddamn formula like a normal person?!?"

by OD Smith March 29, 2005

Backne

A condition familiar to bodybuilders and WWE employees: acne grows on their back which, coincidentally, is where they inject their steroids.

"Look at the backne on Bobby Lashley - it's like the Pyrinees!"

by OD Smith September 29, 2007

townie

The old word for chav which, frankly, sounds a lot better and less self-consciously constructed to sound obnoxious by a group of journalists on a slow July nesday.

"Oh great, another pack of townies coming to kick my head in because I don't conform to their world view."

by OD Smith March 18, 2005