OD Smith's definitions

whine/11

An example of whenever George W Bush tries to push through another totalitarian policy onto the American people, citing 9/11 or the "terrorist threat" as the sole reason.

"We must fight these terrorist killers."
The Patriot Act.

by OD Smith March 14, 2005

homoeroticism

The cover to 50 Cent's "The Massacre" CD.

"My word, that Fiddy Scent looks all man in that unintentionally homoerotic picture."

by OD Smith March 30, 2005

Jose Mourninho

1.) Current manger of Chelsea (at least on the date of posting).
2.) The least popular Portuguese person in human history.
3.) A bit of a paradox - he's an arrogant bastard, but he says far more intelligent and insightful comments than Alex Ferguson ever could.

1.) "Who'se that bloke in the dugout with the designer stubble and bad trenchcoat?"
2.) "Who'se that bloke instigating death threats against referee Anders Frisk, just because his team lost to Barcelona?"
3.) "Who'se that bloke who nailed it on the head by saying an interview at Porto from the Portuguese press was verbatim so nothing could be taken out of context, which triggered nervous laughter from the assembled tabloid hacks at the last press conference?"

by OD Smith March 21, 2005

Anna Kournikova

For several years, the most famous Russian sportsperson for her exploits (or lack thereof) on the tennis courts. In fact, she earned far more money through advertising deals due to being extraordinarily sexy indeed and looking good advertising sports bras and having FHM shoots than anything she did on court. Mainly as she, famously, never won a single tournament but regularly packed the courts at Wimbledon when playing, before retiring at the age of 23.

The success of Maria Sharapova, fit and a good player with a Wimbledon victory aged 19 in 2004 ended comparisons very quickly indeed.

"Come on Anna!" - The average Wimbledon spectator, either showing his support of projecting his sexual fantasy. Probably both.

by OD Smith July 3, 2005

Daily Mail

1.) The Fearmonger's Bible.
2.) A paper for Middle Class, Middle Aged, Middle Englanders' wives.
3.) Where bad journalists go to get paid employment.
4.) Not a tabloid, honest.

1.) "Britain is being overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer..."
2.) "My word, dear. Britain appears to be overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer..."
3.) "I have no journalistic integrity whatsoever, so I'll state that Britain is being overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer..."
4.) "We state the Truth, such as 'Britain is being overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer...', which you won't see in The Sun."

by OD Smith April 8, 2005

jello biafra

Former frontman for The Dead Kennedys, before the band split due to being persecuted by Tipper Gore for including the Giger artwork "Penis Landscape" with their Frankenchrist album (although you can still send off the coupon included to own it if you want to).

Since then has gone on to be a well reknowned spoken word artist/activist with several CDs to his name (Become the Media, Machine Gun in the Clown's Hand etc.) and even a Presidential candidate for the Green party. However, the rest of his former band are intent on suing him for not selling out and using classic DK standard Holiday in Cambodia in a Levis commercial.

Also worked with Ministry in the Lard side project, and has featured on tracks for bands as diverse as Pitchshifter, Sepultura and The Presidents of the USA, with a few acting credits as well.

Let's face it - no matter what he does, he'll always be remembered for being the bloke that sang Too Drunk to Fuck...

by OD Smith September 14, 2005

jodie marsh

The cut-price, bargain basement Jordan.

Since we can't afford to pay Jordan to wear very little in our magazine, we might as well phone Jodie Marsh.

by OD Smith March 10, 2005