OD Smith's definitions

slipknot

More proof, if needed, that Ross Robinson was born to manage boy bands, as opposed to something remotely alternative.

Just because they're nine blokes in masks and boiler suits doesn't mean they're better than four guys without, especially if you actually listen to their frankly dreadful lyrics (examples: "Fuck it all, fuck this world, fuck everything that you stand for" and "People = Shit" repeated six or seven times).

In other words, rather than use real emotion behind their music, they just hide behind a facade of fake anger where shouting "fuck" a lot apparently means something, especially in the exact same seethe/shout/roar song structure they use time and again. No wonder the main part of their fanbase is 14 years old...

(When trying to enter an over 18's rock club) "Is that a Slipknot t-shirt you're wearing? Right, show me your ID." The kid gets sent home soon after.

by OD Smith March 8, 2005

England Header Rule

A rarely exercised rule in football where it doesn't matter if a player is committing common assault on the goalkeeper (which is known in the rulebook as a "foul"), the headed goal is legitimate because an England player scored from it - because, as we all know, England deserve to win every match they'r ein because they'r ebetter than everyone. Any referee that doesn't know this is obviously a complete idiot that cannot do his job properly, and therefore deserving of death threats.

Sol Campbell vs Argentina, 1998.
Sol Campbell vs Portugal, 2004.

by OD Smith March 22, 2005

takeshi kitano

Quite simply one of the best directors in the world right now, as well as being the epitome of cool in his acting persona, "Beat" Takeshi (taken from his stint in stand-up double act, The Two Beats) in most of his own films, as well as the likes of Battle Royale, Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, Gonin and (oops) Johnny Mnemonic.

Best known for his Yakuza films (such as Sonatine and Brother), as well as Hana-bi and the truly fantastic Zatoichi - both of which winning the Venice Film Festival in 1997 and 2003 respectively.

Also known for presenting Takeshi's Castle - which makes as much sense as Francis Ford Coppola's Saturday Night Takeaway if you think about it. Not to be confused with the qually brilliant and prolific (if borderline deranged) Takashi Miike.

Zatoichi
Sonatine
Brother
Hana-bi

by OD Smith March 21, 2005

Liberteenies

People who have been taken in by the hype surrounding Pete Doherty and every non-band he occasionally bothers to make uninspiring music with, when not busy making a twat out of himself at great length.

Liberteenies: The acolytes at the cult of Pete Doherty.
Liberteenies: The only people who don't point out that Pete Doherty doesn't even have the balls to overdose like a real rockstar.

by OD Smith June 4, 2007

queer duck

A cartoon NOBODY has ever seen (the fact it hasn't even got five votes on the IMDb proves this), but everyone knows of it because it was on that 100 Greatest Cartoons thing - instead of Invader Zim or Ghost in the Shell.

"Has anyone seen Queer Duck?!?"

by OD Smith March 21, 2005

French military victories

When the French win in battle - which they have done, only Americans won't believe it because they're pissy and moronic, in equal measure.

A list of notable French military victories:
Battle of Allia (387 BC)
Battle of Gergovia (52 BC)
Battle of Soissons (486)
Battle of Tolbaic (496)
Battle of Vouille (507)
Battle of Tours (732)
Battle of Pavia (773)
Battle for Paris (885-6)
Battle of Val-es-Dunes (1047)
Battle of Hastings (1066)
Battle of Dorylaeum (1097)
Battle of Ascalon (1099)
Battle of Montgisard (1177)
Battle of Bouvines (1214)
Battle of Morlaix (1342)
Battle of Ardres (1351)
Battle of Cocherel (1364)
Battle of Montiel (1369)
Battle of La Rochelle (1372)
Battle of Chiset (1373)
Battle of Roosebeke (1382)
Battle of Bauge (1421)
Siege of Orleans (1428-9)
Battle of Jargeau (1429)
Battle of Beaugency (1429)
Battle of Patay (1429)
Siege of Compiegne (1429)
Battle of Gerbevoy (1435)
Battle of Formigny (1450)
Battle of Castillon (1453)
Battle of Agnadello (1509)
Battle of Marignano (1515)
Battle of Ceresole (1544)
Battle of Rocroi (1643)
Battle of Nordlingen (1645)
Battle of Lens (1648)
Battle of Dunes (1658)
Battle of Fleurus (1690)
Battle of Beachy Head (1690)
Battle of Landen (1693)
Battle of Denain (1712)
Battle of Fontenoy (1745)
Battle of Roucoux (1746)
Battle of Lauffeld (1747)
Battle of Hastenbeck (1757)
Battle of Carillon (1758)
Battle of Yorktown (1781)
Battle of the Chesapeake (1781)
Battle of Valmy (1792)
Battle of Fleurus (1794)
Battle of Lodi (1796)
Battle of Castiglione (1796)
Battle of the Bridge of Arcole (1796)
Battle of Diersheim (1797)
Battle of Rivoli (1797)
Battle of the Pyramids (1798)
Battle of Mount Tabor (1799)
Battle of Abukir (1799)
Second Battle of Zurich (1799)
Battle of Marengo (1800)
Battle of Hohenlinden (1800)
Battle of Austerlitz (1805)
Battle of Jena (1806)
Battle of Jena-Auerstedt (1806)
Battle of Friedland (1807)
Battle of Tudela (1808)
Battle of Ucles (1809)
Battle of Ciudad-Real (1809)
Battle of Eckmuhl (1809)
Battle of Wagram (1809)
Battle of Medellin (1809)
Battle of Ocana (1809)
Battle of Smolensk (1812)
Battle of Borodino (1812)
Battle of Dresden (1813)
Battle of Lutzen (1813)
Battle of Vauchamps (1814)
Battle of Ligny (1815)
Battle of Trocadero (1823)
Battle of Navarino (1827)
Invasion of Algeria (1830)
Battle of Balaclava (1854)
Battle of Malakoff (1855)
Battle of Solferino (1859)
Battle of Foochow (1884)
First Battle of the Marne (1914)
Togoland (1914)
Battle of Ypres (1914)
Battle of Verdun (1916)
Battle of Vimy Ridge (1917)
Second Battle of the Marne (1918)
Battle of Belleau Wood (1918)
Battle of Chateau-Thierry (1918)
Battle of Amiens (1918)
Battle of Maysalun (1922)
Battle of Koufra (1941)
Battle of Normandy (1944)
Operation Dragoon (1944)
Operation Desert Storm (1991)
Cote d'Ivoire (2003)

by OD Smith August 24, 2008

Hannibal Barca

The greatest military tactician in history, and general of the Carthaginian armies in both Punic Wars against Rome.

Inventor of the pincers movement, pioneered in the Battle of Cannae (216BC), the greatest defeat in Roman military history, and the third of his three great victories over Roman forces (following River Trebia in 218BC and Lake Trasimene in 217BC).

The Carthaginian empire spanned from Tunisia (where Carthage is) through Libya and most of North Africa, Spain, Mallorca, Corsica, Sicily, and Sardinia.

His name also inspired the name of the city of Barcelona, which was once part of the Carthaginian empire.

Alexander the Great may have had the numbers and the massive empire, but Hannibal Barca had the tactics, the better cavalry and ELEPHANTS!!!

by OD Smith August 23, 2007