OD Smith's definitions

Ben Moody

Former guitarist and creative axis of 15-minutes pseudo-goth act Evanescence (remember them?), who left almost as soon as they started selling records by the shedload for the usual "creative reasons" and because he felt unhappy at selling shedloads of records. So he now writes for both Avril Lavigne and Kelly Clarkson - so must feel creativly fulfilled and a lot happier.

"So let me get this straight - Ben Moody spent eight years trying to make something of Evanescence, got bored when they made something of themselves, and decided to write for such legit rock luminaries as Avril Lavigne and Kelly Clarkson?!?"

by OD Smith October 1, 2005

pop metal

Where all the heart, soul and any level of intellectualism is gutted from the genre for poseur bands with their fake emotion, all neatly packaged in a three minute MTV video that does absolutly nothing except patronise fans of genuine metal. Usually comes added with a crossover at some point with an overrated rapper that appears on everyone's albums - apart from other rappers, who despise them for being commercialised crap with no worth whatsoever.

Linkin Park - with or whithout Jay-Z.

by OD Smith March 10, 2005

CRO

An attempt to make Croydon sound vaguely cool by using a bastardisation of the postcode for central Croydon (CR0), which just sounds exceptionally contrived and, frankly, stupid. Especially as the pub with the same name has been closed since mid 2003, having run out of potential new owners.

It does confuse people making online bookings, though, since they hab itually use an "O" rather than a "0" when filling out the form, and it won't go through.

Usually put about by the writers for local fanzine Wired, which is as depressinmg and unjournalistic as you can imagine.

"Well, if Compton is CPT, I guess we'll be CRO."
"Dosn't that sound contrived and wanky?"
"No - it sounds cool and well 'ard..."

by OD Smith May 21, 2005

dido

The musical equivalent of beige.

"What's this boring, non-offensive coffee bar crap on the radio? Oh, right, it's Dido."

by OD Smith March 21, 2005

Twunt

A word devisted by Planet Sound head honcho John Earls, in a 2/10 review for Boy Kill Boy.

Methinks the word "twunt" is the only way you can get close to calling members of BKB a twat and a cunt without being fired...

by OD Smith December 7, 2009

French military victories

When the French win in battle - which they have done, only Americans won't believe it because they're pissy and moronic, in equal measure.

A list of notable French military victories:
Battle of Allia (387 BC)
Battle of Gergovia (52 BC)
Battle of Soissons (486)
Battle of Tolbaic (496)
Battle of Vouille (507)
Battle of Tours (732)
Battle of Pavia (773)
Battle for Paris (885-6)
Battle of Val-es-Dunes (1047)
Battle of Hastings (1066)
Battle of Dorylaeum (1097)
Battle of Ascalon (1099)
Battle of Montgisard (1177)
Battle of Bouvines (1214)
Battle of Morlaix (1342)
Battle of Ardres (1351)
Battle of Cocherel (1364)
Battle of Montiel (1369)
Battle of La Rochelle (1372)
Battle of Chiset (1373)
Battle of Roosebeke (1382)
Battle of Bauge (1421)
Siege of Orleans (1428-9)
Battle of Jargeau (1429)
Battle of Beaugency (1429)
Battle of Patay (1429)
Siege of Compiegne (1429)
Battle of Gerbevoy (1435)
Battle of Formigny (1450)
Battle of Castillon (1453)
Battle of Agnadello (1509)
Battle of Marignano (1515)
Battle of Ceresole (1544)
Battle of Rocroi (1643)
Battle of Nordlingen (1645)
Battle of Lens (1648)
Battle of Dunes (1658)
Battle of Fleurus (1690)
Battle of Beachy Head (1690)
Battle of Landen (1693)
Battle of Denain (1712)
Battle of Fontenoy (1745)
Battle of Roucoux (1746)
Battle of Lauffeld (1747)
Battle of Hastenbeck (1757)
Battle of Carillon (1758)
Battle of Yorktown (1781)
Battle of the Chesapeake (1781)
Battle of Valmy (1792)
Battle of Fleurus (1794)
Battle of Lodi (1796)
Battle of Castiglione (1796)
Battle of the Bridge of Arcole (1796)
Battle of Diersheim (1797)
Battle of Rivoli (1797)
Battle of the Pyramids (1798)
Battle of Mount Tabor (1799)
Battle of Abukir (1799)
Second Battle of Zurich (1799)
Battle of Marengo (1800)
Battle of Hohenlinden (1800)
Battle of Austerlitz (1805)
Battle of Jena (1806)
Battle of Jena-Auerstedt (1806)
Battle of Friedland (1807)
Battle of Tudela (1808)
Battle of Ucles (1809)
Battle of Ciudad-Real (1809)
Battle of Eckmuhl (1809)
Battle of Wagram (1809)
Battle of Medellin (1809)
Battle of Ocana (1809)
Battle of Smolensk (1812)
Battle of Borodino (1812)
Battle of Dresden (1813)
Battle of Lutzen (1813)
Battle of Vauchamps (1814)
Battle of Ligny (1815)
Battle of Trocadero (1823)
Battle of Navarino (1827)
Invasion of Algeria (1830)
Battle of Balaclava (1854)
Battle of Malakoff (1855)
Battle of Solferino (1859)
Battle of Foochow (1884)
First Battle of the Marne (1914)
Togoland (1914)
Battle of Ypres (1914)
Battle of Verdun (1916)
Battle of Vimy Ridge (1917)
Second Battle of the Marne (1918)
Battle of Belleau Wood (1918)
Battle of Chateau-Thierry (1918)
Battle of Amiens (1918)
Battle of Maysalun (1922)
Battle of Koufra (1941)
Battle of Normandy (1944)
Operation Dragoon (1944)
Operation Desert Storm (1991)
Cote d'Ivoire (2003)

by OD Smith August 24, 2008

ultraspank

California five-piece that had two albums (Ultraspank and Progress) on Sony, before splitting up due to not being simplistic enough to appeal to Middle America.

Shame, since they were rather damn good...even though you got weird looks in HMV when asking for their CDs.

Go on Amazon, for God's sake...

by OD Smith March 29, 2005