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OD Smith's definitions

Jose Mourninho

1.) Current manger of Chelsea (at least on the date of posting).
2.) The least popular Portuguese person in human history.
3.) A bit of a paradox - he's an arrogant bastard, but he says far more intelligent and insightful comments than Alex Ferguson ever could.
1.) "Who'se that bloke in the dugout with the designer stubble and bad trenchcoat?"
2.) "Who'se that bloke instigating death threats against referee Anders Frisk, just because his team lost to Barcelona?"
3.) "Who'se that bloke who nailed it on the head by saying an interview at Porto from the Portuguese press was verbatim so nothing could be taken out of context, which triggered nervous laughter from the assembled tabloid hacks at the last press conference?"
by OD Smith March 21, 2005
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malcolm glazer

1.) The new owner of Manchester United, which has really upset those fans that haven't started to support their local teams (i.e, Chelsea or Arsenal) at a really convenient time, yet they cannot seem to put together a rational argument about why he isn't good for the club - especially when they bleat about him turning the club into a business when he patently isn't. Martin Edwards did that a decade ago, didn't you know? Then again, MUPLC fans were bleating about Magnier and McManus a couple of years ago for similar reasons.

2.) Owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the NFL, which means he just needs to buy an Australian Rules team to get the full set.
An American gentleman that owns 75% of all MUPLC shares. Not many other examples of that now, are there?
by OD Smith July 18, 2008
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queer duck

A cartoon NOBODY has ever seen (the fact it hasn't even got five votes on the IMDb proves this), but everyone knows of it because it was on that 100 Greatest Cartoons thing - instead of Invader Zim or Ghost in the Shell.
"Has anyone seen Queer Duck?!?"
by OD Smith March 21, 2005
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microsoft access

An absolutly evil database programme, which serves no purpose other than driving you clinically insane at a remarkably quick pace.

Never used in the workplace, so it's ppointless to be taught how to use it in GCSE or A-Level IT.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!! Why won't it recognise this goddamn formula like a normal person?!?"
by OD Smith March 29, 2005
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England Header Rule

A rarely exercised rule in football where it doesn't matter if a player is committing common assault on the goalkeeper (which is known in the rulebook as a "foul"), the headed goal is legitimate because an England player scored from it - because, as we all know, England deserve to win every match they'r ein because they'r ebetter than everyone. Any referee that doesn't know this is obviously a complete idiot that cannot do his job properly, and therefore deserving of death threats.
Sol Campbell vs Argentina, 1998.
Sol Campbell vs Portugal, 2004.
by OD Smith March 22, 2005
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takeshi kitano

Quite simply one of the best directors in the world right now, as well as being the epitome of cool in his acting persona, "Beat" Takeshi (taken from his stint in stand-up double act, The Two Beats) in most of his own films, as well as the likes of Battle Royale, Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, Gonin and (oops) Johnny Mnemonic.

Best known for his Yakuza films (such as Sonatine and Brother), as well as Hana-bi and the truly fantastic Zatoichi - both of which winning the Venice Film Festival in 1997 and 2003 respectively.

Also known for presenting Takeshi's Castle - which makes as much sense as Francis Ford Coppola's Saturday Night Takeaway if you think about it. Not to be confused with the qually brilliant and prolific (if borderline deranged) Takashi Miike.
Zatoichi
Sonatine
Brother
Hana-bi
by OD Smith March 21, 2005
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Liberteenies

People who have been taken in by the hype surrounding Pete Doherty and every non-band he occasionally bothers to make uninspiring music with, when not busy making a twat out of himself at great length.
Liberteenies: The acolytes at the cult of Pete Doherty.
Liberteenies: The only people who don't point out that Pete Doherty doesn't even have the balls to overdose like a real rockstar.
by OD Smith June 4, 2007
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