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Nutzen YerMouf's definitions

blister shaft

Rebecca decided to herpes fuck John. He had a gross blister shaft, but he was really hot. She made him wear a condom so she figured she would be safe.
Two days later her pubic hair started itching. She didn't get the herp, but she crabs.
by Nutzen YerMouf February 22, 2018
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rectal painting

Practical joke where several people eat foods that give them diarrhea and they go out and try to spray fecal matter from out of their anus on to the houses of the chosen target of the joke.
It was the night before Halloween. Ben and his friends decided to embrace the new devil's night fad. Instead of going with the tired and old toilet papering of people's houses; they were going to do some rectal painting of people's houses. Unfortunately they forgot the toilet paper and Ben found himself running from the cops with shitty underwear and some greasy cheeks.
by Nutzen YerMouf February 21, 2018
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office chimp

The fat stupid guy at work that sucks up to the boss, spouts simplistic platitudes, and thinks he is more experienced because he has worked there 20 years but you always seem to be fixing his fuck ups.
The office chimp at work came over to help me. I just wanted him to get away from me because he annoys me and he fucks things up all the time.
"There's no 'I' in team, that's what I always say." The office chimp stated.
Just to be a dick to him and hopefully drive him away, I brought up Maureen's promotion that he was hoping to get.
"It's okay, good things come to those who wait. I will get it next time." The office chimp replied.
Jesus fucking Christ, I thought to myself. Would you just go the fuck away.
Our boss walked by, and the office chimp stopped what he was doing and fucked up the order of my documents in the process.
"How are you doing today Frank?" the office chimp said overly cheerful.
Frank answered, "Good, glad to see you helping out over here."
"Got to teach these young guys, I have been here 20 years and they can learn a lot from me. Of course the people are our most important asset too! We wouldn't be anywhere without them and we need to step in and show we appreciate them." the fucking moron office chimp said.
by Nutzen YerMouf May 9, 2018
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Poughkeepsie Waterboarding

A person is laid out on a board elevated slightly so their head is up off the ground slightly. A cloth, such as a towel or rag, is placed over their face. A bucket is filled with urine and poured over the person's face to simulate drowning in urine. A form of sexual torture made popular in after-hours and domination clubs in Poughkeepsie, New York.
The UN voted to ban waterboarding, but the president of the United States found a work around by using Poughkeepsie Waterboarding instead. The problem was, he was the one who wanted to be Poughkeepsie Waterboarded.
by Nutzen YerMouf June 9, 2017
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