Nottel Inyu's definitions

autotip

When you tell your waiter/waitress to 'keep the change', preventing the need to leave money as a tip at the end of your meal. Also negates the need to calculate how much you need to tip, because it seems casually generous.

Can only be used when you pay for your food when you order it, as opposed to the classic method of leaving extra money with your bill when you've finished eating.

Waiter: That'll be £9.68 please, sir.
Guy #1: *Hands over £10* Keep the change.
Waiter: Oh, thanks very much!
Guy #2: Nice autotip, man.
Guy #1: I know, that's nowhere near the socially acceptable 10% tip! I am a genius...

by Nottel Inyu January 23, 2011

procrastination ratio

The ratio which defines how much procrastination a person is required to do before doing anything useful.

Varies from person to person.

Usually stated in the format procrastination:useful work.

Guy #1: Have you sorted the smoke alarm yet?
Guy #2: Not yet, let me play a few more games of Robot Unicorn Attack first... I have about a 5-to-1 procrastination ratio.
Guy #1: So... Doing something useful takes you 6 times the amount of time it takes you toactually do the task?
Guy #2: You got it!

by Nottel Inyu December 6, 2010

van shield

When you use a van as a shield to protect you from oncoming traffic as you pull out onto a roundabout.

Guy #1: Woah, man! What are you doing, you can't see because of that van!
Guy #2: Van shield all the way!

by Nottel Inyu September 27, 2010

solitaire denial

Flipping through the deck over and over while playing the card game Solitaire even though there are no more moves available, denying that you have lost even though you already know it.

Guy #1: Dude, you've gone through the deck 3 times already. Give it up, you've lost.
Guy #2: ...So I have. I'm in solitaire denial again.

by Nottel Inyu May 30, 2010

PC

Proper Computer, i.e. not a smartphone - a desktop or laptop computer. Includes all desktop operating systems.

Guy #1: Let's play some games on my PC.
Guy #2: I thought you had a Mac though?
Guy #1: Just because it's not running Windows, doesn't mean it's not a PC.

by Nottel Inyu August 6, 2018

a couple of

Quantification for more than 1 and less than 3 of something.

Around 2.

For 3 or more, see few.

Guy #1: It's going to take me a couple of months to finish this painting for you.

~10 weeks later~

Guy #1: Here's your painting!
Guy #2: Thank you, I have no issues with the delivery time of this painting.

by Nottel Inyu March 3, 2012