Nottel Inyu's definitions

PC

Proper Computer, i.e. not a smartphone - a desktop or laptop computer. Includes all desktop operating systems.

Guy #1: Let's play some games on my PC.
Guy #2: I thought you had a Mac though?
Guy #1: Just because it's not running Windows, doesn't mean it's not a PC.

by Nottel Inyu August 6, 2018

Januresolution

A resolution made for the new year, but not kept past January due to lack of commitment, a change of heart or some other excuse.

Guy #1: So many people have broken their new year's resolution by the end of January they might as well call it a 'Januresolution'.
Guy #2: Maybe people would do better at resolutions if they made new ones every month. That way, at least if they got broken, a new one would come along soon enough.
Guy #1: Yeah, but no one would bother with that.

by Nottel Inyu January 4, 2010

Driver's Complex

A Driver's Complex is contracted after one learns how to drive. It is the need never to sit in the back seat of a car ever again.

Symptoms include challenging legitimate shotgun calls and picking fights with the person in the front passenger seat.

Guy #1: Shotgun!
Steve: NO, YOU BITCH, GET IN THE BACK!
Guy #2: Calm down, Steve! You have a really bad Driver's Complex...

by Nottel Inyu July 1, 2009

autotip

When you tell your waiter/waitress to 'keep the change', preventing the need to leave money as a tip at the end of your meal. Also negates the need to calculate how much you need to tip, because it seems casually generous.

Can only be used when you pay for your food when you order it, as opposed to the classic method of leaving extra money with your bill when you've finished eating.

Waiter: That'll be £9.68 please, sir.
Guy #1: *Hands over £10* Keep the change.
Waiter: Oh, thanks very much!
Guy #2: Nice autotip, man.
Guy #1: I know, that's nowhere near the socially acceptable 10% tip! I am a genius...

by Nottel Inyu January 23, 2011

Facebook exhibitionist

Someone who posts on their girlfriend/boyfriend's wall to express their love in an inappropriate, sickly way, knowing full well that the message will appear on all of their mutual friends' news feeds.

Maybe for attention, maybe to make everyone feel bad because they are obviously the ultimate couple, but one thing is for certain; the world would be a better place if they just IM'd the damn message.

Can also be applied to close friends of the same gender who enjoy gaying each other up in public, despite being straight.

Guy #1: Damn, Steve, stop commenting on yo' girl's Facebook wall! She's gonna think you're clingy.
Guy #2: Plus you're annoying pretty much everyone who knows you both. Get a room and stop being such a Facebook exhibitionist.
Steve: WHY MUST YOU TRAMPLE ALL OVER OUR LOVE?!

by Nottel Inyu January 13, 2011

Bass Law

As population density increases, the probability of hearing loud bass which you have no control over approaches one.

Guy #1: I can't sleep, man, there's too much bass coming from next door.

Guy #2: Well, we live in high rise flats. If it's not next door it'd probably be the flat upstairs. Bass Law.

by Nottel Inyu June 27, 2009

van shield

When you use a van as a shield to protect you from oncoming traffic as you pull out onto a roundabout.

Guy #1: Woah, man! What are you doing, you can't see because of that van!
Guy #2: Van shield all the way!

by Nottel Inyu September 27, 2010