Nicholas D's definitions

fecal-faced

A more PC way to say shit-faced, for when one would prefer not to swear. It means extremely drunk.

John: "Duuuuude. Last night I consumed a considerable quantity of ethanol. I mean I was totally shit-faced."
Kevin: "What the hell, man, there are kids around. Watch your language. Shit is a terrible word to say. For fuck's sake you inconsiderate cunt."
John: "Oh my bad, I mean fecal-faced. I was drunk as a skunk."
Kevin: "Word to your mother."

by Nicholas D June 19, 2011

bad economy

An all-purpose excuse that people use during a recession to justify doing things that are below their usual standard. Often these things in reality have little or nothing to do with the economic circumstances.

Harry: "You took your girlfriend to Applebee's on Valentine's Day? Pretty weak."
Larry: "Whatever man, I didn't have a choice. Bad economy."

Senator: "Mr. Paulson, you really want to give the greedy, soulless bankers who caused this mess $700 billion with no strings attached?"
Henry Paulson: "Hey guys, bad economy. Just do it."
Senator: "Good point. I vote yes."

Fred: "Dude, tell me you didn't go home with that broke down 300-pound whale I saw you with at O'Shea's last night."
Brendan: "Dude, it's a bad economy. I'll take what I can get."
Fred: "Yeah, I guess you have to."

by Nicholas D March 15, 2009

Uncle Ralph

A figurative relative who comes to visit when you vomit. Similar to Aunt Flo.

DeSean: "How did last night go? Did you get it on with LaShawna?"
LeSean: "Nah man, hit the booze too hard and ended up getting a visit from Uncle Ralph."

Sean: "Dude, did you read Ralph Waldo Emerson's classic 'The American Scholar'? That shit is monkey-fighting LEGIT! In da hizzouse!"
Shawn: "Psssht! More like Uncle Ralph Waldo Emerson! That guy was a total clown. I don't think I could get through a paragraph of his writing without losing my lunch. I'm more a fan of some of the modern-day philosophers like Rebecca Black, who tackles more relevant issues like which seat is best to occupy in a vehicle, or Aaron Carter, who explores the division of dreams and reality in his great work 'That's How I Beat Shaq.'"
Sean: "Dude. No."

by Nicholas D November 9, 2011

nerd chariot

A Segway motor scooter.

If Eugene keeps rolling around on that nerd chariot wearing that fanny pack, he won't have a chance with the ugliest most desperate girl on the Mt. Holyoke fuck truck.

by Nicholas D October 8, 2006

allez opi-omi

An exclamation one uses when a major catastrophe occurs. Comes from the sign a woman was holding that was struck by a 2021 Tour de France rider, causing almost the entire peloton to crash in a massive pile-up. Literally means "Go grandpa-grandma".

*gigantic asteroid crashes into the Yucatan Peninsula 65 million years ago*
T-Rex: "Allez opi-omi! That doesn't seem so good."

by Nicholas D July 29, 2021

better place tax

A figurative tax that's imposed on people who do a job that benefits society, or as the "Silicon Valley" cliche goes, "makes the world a better place." Because more people want to do meaningful jobs than worthless ones, the pay tends to be lower. The opposite is the douchebag bonus, where someone makes more money for doing a job that contributes zero or negative value to society.

Jimmy works as as a researcher who has made significant advances in cancer treatment, but he only makes $70k a year because of the better place tax. Meanwhile, Chazz the hedge fund manager gets a huge douchebag bonus and managed to rake in $10 million last year even though all he did was lose a bunch of rich people a bunch of money.

by Nicholas D July 25, 2015

whack the 'cock

To play badminton; to hit the shuttlecock ('cock) around.

Pete: "Yo dogg, want to go out and whack the 'cock around for awhile?"
Ken: "No thanks. I'm just going to hang out here and masturbate."

by Nicholas D March 10, 2009