Nicholas D's definitions
Wall Street trader slang for:
1) To print a ticket, i.e. make a trade or seal the deal
2) To have sex with a woman - seal the deal
1) To print a ticket, i.e. make a trade or seal the deal
2) To have sex with a woman - seal the deal
(on the trading floor)
Karen Hooker (Merrill Lynch trader): "I'll sell you 1000 shares of Motel 6 stock for $50 apiece."
Chris Taylor (Bear Stearns trader): "Done! Print that!"
Karen: "I'll also sell you long positions on Google, Blackstone, and Merrill, and a short position on Bear Stearns."
Chris: "I'll take it all! Oh yeah! Money money money money!!!"
(later at Chris' home)
Chris' wife: "How was your day? Why are you home so late?"
Chris: "Well, there was this girl - Hooker, actually. You know, the old Motel 6 deal. I totally printed that shit! She gave it up for only 50 bucks! Then she got me in all these positions and I must have printed four or five more times! Damn I'm tired from all that action. I'm hitting the sack."
Chris' wife: ***SMACK!!!*** "Get out now! How could you do this to your loving wife and poor little children?"
Karen Hooker (Merrill Lynch trader): "I'll sell you 1000 shares of Motel 6 stock for $50 apiece."
Chris Taylor (Bear Stearns trader): "Done! Print that!"
Karen: "I'll also sell you long positions on Google, Blackstone, and Merrill, and a short position on Bear Stearns."
Chris: "I'll take it all! Oh yeah! Money money money money!!!"
(later at Chris' home)
Chris' wife: "How was your day? Why are you home so late?"
Chris: "Well, there was this girl - Hooker, actually. You know, the old Motel 6 deal. I totally printed that shit! She gave it up for only 50 bucks! Then she got me in all these positions and I must have printed four or five more times! Damn I'm tired from all that action. I'm hitting the sack."
Chris' wife: ***SMACK!!!*** "Get out now! How could you do this to your loving wife and poor little children?"
by Nicholas D July 23, 2007
Get the printmug. A polictically-correct way to say the word "retarded," a la the Black Eyed Peas song "Let's Get It Started."
Tom: Oh man, Jim, I was heading to school today and I saw a BUNCH of retarded kids walking to their special school.
Teacher: Thomas Joseph Wilkins! You know not to use such language in the classroom!
Tom: Sorry, Mrs. Peterson. What happened was I saw a bunch of it started kids on the way to school. They were so it started that I went up and stole a bunch of money from each of them and they didn't even notice, and then I pushed one of them over, laughed at him, and yelled "get out of the way, it start!"
Teacher: That's much better Thomas.
Teacher: Thomas Joseph Wilkins! You know not to use such language in the classroom!
Tom: Sorry, Mrs. Peterson. What happened was I saw a bunch of it started kids on the way to school. They were so it started that I went up and stole a bunch of money from each of them and they didn't even notice, and then I pushed one of them over, laughed at him, and yelled "get out of the way, it start!"
Teacher: That's much better Thomas.
by Nicholas D October 19, 2005
Get the it startedmug. Your father.
NOTE: While "the old man" refers to your father, "the old lady" refers to your wife or girlfriend, not your mother. Calling your mother "the old lady" is considered disrespectful.
NOTE: While "the old man" refers to your father, "the old lady" refers to your wife or girlfriend, not your mother. Calling your mother "the old lady" is considered disrespectful.
Darth Vader: "Luke, I am the old man."
Luke: "I know you're old. Please stop distracting me while I'm trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I didn't say I am AN old man, I said I'm THE old man. As in yours."
Luke: "Oh shit dude, for reals? You're my dad? That's a bummer, considering that you're like the most evil person ever and I've dedicated my life to trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I know this must be a tough time for you son. There's a family reunion next week though, and I'd be delighted if you would come with me and meet your Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Susan."
Luke: "Gee...um...dad. I don't know, I'll have to think about it."
Darth Vader: "Ok, I understand. In the meantime, quit trying to bone Princess Leia. She's your sister."
Luke: "DAMN! Glad I used a rubber!"
Luke: "I know you're old. Please stop distracting me while I'm trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I didn't say I am AN old man, I said I'm THE old man. As in yours."
Luke: "Oh shit dude, for reals? You're my dad? That's a bummer, considering that you're like the most evil person ever and I've dedicated my life to trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I know this must be a tough time for you son. There's a family reunion next week though, and I'd be delighted if you would come with me and meet your Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Susan."
Luke: "Gee...um...dad. I don't know, I'll have to think about it."
Darth Vader: "Ok, I understand. In the meantime, quit trying to bone Princess Leia. She's your sister."
Luke: "DAMN! Glad I used a rubber!"
by Nicholas D February 3, 2009
Get the the old manmug. "A big fine woman'll make you smile when she pass you
Damn that girl sexy, her mamma got ass too."
-Juvenile, "Mamma Got Ass"
Steve: "Maaan, this party at Wellington's house is going to suck baaaalllls."
Kevin: "Word to your mother. Working for that guy is a bitch. I can only imagine what that old stiff's family is like."
*Ding Dong*
Hot girl: "Hello, I'm Mr. Wellington's daughter Tiffany."
Steve: "BAZOOING! Damn that girl is hot!"
Kevin: "No kidding dude. I didn't expect old Wellington's daughter to have ass like that. Did you see the rack on that smokin' piece of tail?"
Steve: "Hell yeah man! I'd love to give those tig ol' bitties a good motorboating."
Mr. Wellington (having overheard): "Ahem...speaking of having ass, how about you two have your asses out of the office by Monday? You're fired."
Damn that girl sexy, her mamma got ass too."
-Juvenile, "Mamma Got Ass"
Steve: "Maaan, this party at Wellington's house is going to suck baaaalllls."
Kevin: "Word to your mother. Working for that guy is a bitch. I can only imagine what that old stiff's family is like."
*Ding Dong*
Hot girl: "Hello, I'm Mr. Wellington's daughter Tiffany."
Steve: "BAZOOING! Damn that girl is hot!"
Kevin: "No kidding dude. I didn't expect old Wellington's daughter to have ass like that. Did you see the rack on that smokin' piece of tail?"
Steve: "Hell yeah man! I'd love to give those tig ol' bitties a good motorboating."
Mr. Wellington (having overheard): "Ahem...speaking of having ass, how about you two have your asses out of the office by Monday? You're fired."
by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
Get the have assmug. Short for investment banking, an industry devoted to squeezing money out of transactions, famous for paying a metric shitload, being filled with douchebags, and doing absolutely nothing for the benefit of society. It is amazing that anyone actually ends up in this industry, as you have to be very smart to get such a job, but very stupid to take it.
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Vice President #1: "SHIT!!! I'm going to have to spend all weekend getting this investor request done!!!"
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
by Nicholas D May 7, 2007
Get the I-bankingmug. Cletus was thrown in the slammer along with his Koup Klutz Klan compatriots after he tweeted “I’m in the capital butt their never gunna know its me cuz I got on this mustache n glasses LMAO”
by Nicholas D December 9, 2021
Get the Koup Klutz Klanmug. To receive a blow job. Comes from the fact that person giving the job is kneeling as if they're doing a blessing.
"I told her I wanna ride out, and she said yes / We didn't go to church, but I got blessed." - Pitbull/Ne-Yo – "Time of Our Lives"
OR
If you go into the confessional booth with that Catholic priest, there's a good chance you'll get blessed.
OR
If you go into the confessional booth with that Catholic priest, there's a good chance you'll get blessed.
by Nicholas D July 29, 2021
Get the get blessedmug.