Nicholas D's definitions
A condition resulting from seeing the total price of a bunch of items and realizing the damage is much greater than you originally expected. May cause a person to have second thoughts about the purchase.
I wanted to book your mom for 7 days of her "services," but when I realized the total came to $21, I got major sticker shock and decided to bail out.
by Nicholas D June 17, 2006
Get the sticker shock mug.The politically correct term for a postal worker. The old offensive term is “mailman” but “mail” is sexist because it sounds like “male” and “man” is obviously sexist to female or non-binary postal workers.
Female postal worker: “I’m here to bring you your 25 annoying unsolicited Capital One offers for the day! Enjoy tossing these straight in the recycling bin.”
Guy: “Thanks! You’re my favorite mailwoman!”
Female postal worker: “Um...excuse me! Did you say MALE woman? I do not identify as male, you sexist pig.”
Guy: “Heavens to Betsy! How could I be so insensitive? I mean you’re my favorite personperson.”
Female postal worker: “That’s much better.”
Guy: “Thanks! You’re my favorite mailwoman!”
Female postal worker: “Um...excuse me! Did you say MALE woman? I do not identify as male, you sexist pig.”
Guy: “Heavens to Betsy! How could I be so insensitive? I mean you’re my favorite personperson.”
Female postal worker: “That’s much better.”
by Nicholas D March 21, 2020
Get the personperson mug.Your father.
NOTE: While "the old man" refers to your father, "the old lady" refers to your wife or girlfriend, not your mother. Calling your mother "the old lady" is considered disrespectful.
NOTE: While "the old man" refers to your father, "the old lady" refers to your wife or girlfriend, not your mother. Calling your mother "the old lady" is considered disrespectful.
Darth Vader: "Luke, I am the old man."
Luke: "I know you're old. Please stop distracting me while I'm trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I didn't say I am AN old man, I said I'm THE old man. As in yours."
Luke: "Oh shit dude, for reals? You're my dad? That's a bummer, considering that you're like the most evil person ever and I've dedicated my life to trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I know this must be a tough time for you son. There's a family reunion next week though, and I'd be delighted if you would come with me and meet your Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Susan."
Luke: "Gee...um...dad. I don't know, I'll have to think about it."
Darth Vader: "Ok, I understand. In the meantime, quit trying to bone Princess Leia. She's your sister."
Luke: "DAMN! Glad I used a rubber!"
Luke: "I know you're old. Please stop distracting me while I'm trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I didn't say I am AN old man, I said I'm THE old man. As in yours."
Luke: "Oh shit dude, for reals? You're my dad? That's a bummer, considering that you're like the most evil person ever and I've dedicated my life to trying to kill you."
Darth Vader: "I know this must be a tough time for you son. There's a family reunion next week though, and I'd be delighted if you would come with me and meet your Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Susan."
Luke: "Gee...um...dad. I don't know, I'll have to think about it."
Darth Vader: "Ok, I understand. In the meantime, quit trying to bone Princess Leia. She's your sister."
Luke: "DAMN! Glad I used a rubber!"
by Nicholas D February 3, 2009
Get the the old man mug.The rare feat of striking out five times in a baseball game. The term was coined on national TV during the 2008 college world series when Georgia player Matt Cerione accomplished this feat during his team's win over Stanford. Similar to the hat trick (3 strikeouts) and the golden sombrero (4).
Pete really pulled a cerione with the ladies last night at the party. When he got home his shirt was covered in spilled cosmos and his face was red from all the slaps.
Timmy's parents couldn't show their faces in public after their son racked up three ceriones and five golden sombreros over the little league season.
Timmy's parents couldn't show their faces in public after their son racked up three ceriones and five golden sombreros over the little league season.
by Nicholas D June 22, 2008
Get the cerione mug.The white version of a bitch nigga. Someone who talks a big game and gossips a lot but backs down at the first sign of a fight. If you make it big in the game, they will suck up to you to try to get some of your money. Bitch crackaz are weak and have been known to engage in such mark-ass activities as taking bubble baths and using their bitch's blush to cover up a pistol whip wound.
Connor: "How are you on this fine morning, Madeline?"
Madeline: "Why, rather swell, Connor. I have some rather disturbing news from you, however. I heard from Emily that Blake was verbally disparaging you. He said that your racquetball game was mediocre at best and that you performed rather poorly at last week's poetry reading. Furthermore, he thinks you are a hypocrite since you claim to eat only organic free-range chicken but he saw you go into KFC the other day."
Connor: "Well I never! I shall confront that scoundrel!"
(later)
Connor: "You fool! How dare you sully my good name? We must engage in fisticuffs at once!"
Blake: "Nonsense, my good chap. I did nothing of the sort. Let's bury the hatchet and set up a tee time at the country club for next weekend."
Connor: "Silence! I believe Dr. Dre put it most eloquently: 'So many crackaz like to keep up shit, and just like a bitch, crackaz be talkin' shit. Smilin' in my face and then you blast me in the back, crackaz stay strapped from way back, cuz payback'll make crackaz wanna pop that shit. If you ain't ready for the game, cracka stop that shit'...well, I'm not going to recite it all, but he finishes with, 'If you act like a bitch, then you smacked like a bitch!' That is precisely what will be your fate! Please note that I replaced all instances of the N-word with the C-word since you are white. Indeed, you, sir, are a bitch cracka! Get over here! I'm going to slap you silly!"
Madeline: "Why, rather swell, Connor. I have some rather disturbing news from you, however. I heard from Emily that Blake was verbally disparaging you. He said that your racquetball game was mediocre at best and that you performed rather poorly at last week's poetry reading. Furthermore, he thinks you are a hypocrite since you claim to eat only organic free-range chicken but he saw you go into KFC the other day."
Connor: "Well I never! I shall confront that scoundrel!"
(later)
Connor: "You fool! How dare you sully my good name? We must engage in fisticuffs at once!"
Blake: "Nonsense, my good chap. I did nothing of the sort. Let's bury the hatchet and set up a tee time at the country club for next weekend."
Connor: "Silence! I believe Dr. Dre put it most eloquently: 'So many crackaz like to keep up shit, and just like a bitch, crackaz be talkin' shit. Smilin' in my face and then you blast me in the back, crackaz stay strapped from way back, cuz payback'll make crackaz wanna pop that shit. If you ain't ready for the game, cracka stop that shit'...well, I'm not going to recite it all, but he finishes with, 'If you act like a bitch, then you smacked like a bitch!' That is precisely what will be your fate! Please note that I replaced all instances of the N-word with the C-word since you are white. Indeed, you, sir, are a bitch cracka! Get over here! I'm going to slap you silly!"
by Nicholas D November 6, 2009
Get the bitch cracka mug.A patriotic American term for après ski drinks, meant to show disdain for the French. Used by the same people who say freedom fries, pardon my freedom, freedom toast, and freedom mistake. Means a beer consumed after a day of skiing or snowboarding.
Pierre: "After we finish ze ski-ing, what do you say we all go grab an apres ski glass of ze Bordeaux?"
Katie: "That sounds great, Pierre."
Bob: "What?!? How dare you, you French sympathizer?!? Let's ditch this surrender monkey and go grab a freedom beer. I've got a whole case of 90 Minute back at my place with your name on it. Brewed in the good ol' USA. Screw France!"
Katie: "Ok, good point. I'll go with you instead. Sorry, Frenchy."
Katie: "That sounds great, Pierre."
Bob: "What?!? How dare you, you French sympathizer?!? Let's ditch this surrender monkey and go grab a freedom beer. I've got a whole case of 90 Minute back at my place with your name on it. Brewed in the good ol' USA. Screw France!"
Katie: "Ok, good point. I'll go with you instead. Sorry, Frenchy."
by Nicholas D December 29, 2009
Get the freedom beer mug.1) A phrase that means one plans to engage in the trade of metal treating in the future
2) Someone who is skilled at writing legal documents regarding the passage of one’s estate after death
3) To bitch slap someone in the way that Chris Rock was slapped at the 2022 Oscars
2) Someone who is skilled at writing legal documents regarding the passage of one’s estate after death
3) To bitch slap someone in the way that Chris Rock was slapped at the 2022 Oscars
Apothecary: “So you’re almost done with your apothecary training! Ready to open your own shop in town?”
Apprentice: “Nah dogg apothecarying is boring AF. More like apothe-idontcare-ying. I think I will smith.”
Apothecary: “Shut your mouth, you scoundrel! If you dishonor my trade again, I’ll will smith you so hard you’ll wish you’d hired a will smith!”
Apprentice: “Nah dogg apothecarying is boring AF. More like apothe-idontcare-ying. I think I will smith.”
Apothecary: “Shut your mouth, you scoundrel! If you dishonor my trade again, I’ll will smith you so hard you’ll wish you’d hired a will smith!”
by Nicholas D April 11, 2022
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