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Nicholas D's definitions

what's up now

A rhetorical question used when one is in a difficult predicament and the circumstances suddenly change in his/her favor, such as when the person in trouble pulls out a gat or when his/her posse shows up ready to whoop some ass. Often followed by "bitch" or "punk" to further assert dominance.
Barack Obama: "Now that I've won the Iowa caucus, I have the Democratic nomination in the bag. The New Hampshire primary is going to be a walk in the park."
(Hillary Clinton wins New Hampshire primary)
Hillary Clinton: "Hell yeah! What's up now, bitch???"
(Barack Obama wins the Democratic nomination)
Hillary Clinton (obviously insincerely): "Congratulations, Senator Obama. I am so happy for you. The American people definitely made the right choice."
Barack Obama: "Three words, Senator Clinton: WHAT'S UP NOW?!?!?!"
by Nicholas D February 26, 2009
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getcha popcorn ready

A phrase coined by Terrell Owens of the Dallas Cowboys which signifies that one is about to put on a show, i.e. a spectacular performance. Refers to the act of getting one's popcorn before watching a movie.
Note posted on Terrell Owens' locker, October 2007:

"Dear Reporters,

Due to the magnitude of this week’s game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 (T.O.) about the other 81 (Randy Moss), I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday’s game.

Sincerely,
Terrell Owens

P.S. Getcha Popcorn Ready"


Piano teacher: "Timmy, have you been practicing that Beethoven piece for the upcoming recital? This is your chance to show everyone how much your skills have improved over the past few months."
Timmy: "Hell yeah, I've been on that shit like white on rice. I'm fin' to blow all you bitches away. I'm gonna rock that shit better than Ludwig himself. Better getcha popcorn ready! King Kong ain't got shit on me!"
by Nicholas D January 14, 2009
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smack it

To masturbate. A synonym of spank it. "It" refers to the penis.
Brandon: "Dude, want to head over to Pat O'Briens and catch the Sox game?"
Mac: "Uh...maybe later. Your sister just put up a new Facebook album full of spring break bikini pics, and she's looking pretty damn good. I'm just gonna hang out here and smack it to that a few times."
Brandon: "What??? Oh no you didn't! The only smacking that's going to happen is me smacking you up!"
by Nicholas D March 9, 2009
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pee on your nuts

A figurative term meaning to have a small penis. Usually used as an insult.
Tough guy #1: "I can bench press 275. What's up now?"
Tough guy #2: "Whatever man, I can clean 200!"
Tough guy #1: "Well I can do 20 pullups!"
Normal guy: "All right guys, quit arguing about whose dick is smaller. At the end of the day, you both still pee on your nuts."
by Nicholas D March 9, 2009
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like aggregation

A principle that basically states that things of similar composition will eventually tend toward the same location because they are similarly affected by wind/ocean currents, magnetic fields, and other forces.

Examples are hairballs from dogs/cats and giant masses of condoms people have found in the ocean.
Brad: "...so that was like the third time this year that my sister has been hit in the face with bird shit! I wonder why that happens to her so much."
Jeremy: "Dude, haven't you ever heard of like aggregation? Dee dee dee!"
by Nicholas D November 28, 2006
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jamarcus

(n) An extremely inaccurate throw or a person who makes such a throw.

(v) To make an extremely inaccurate throw.

Comes from LSU and Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell, who despite being a highly touted prospect and the #1 NFL Draft pick in 2007, had an extremely unproductive NFL career due to his inaccurate passes and was out of the league after the 2009 season.
In the 1993 All-Star Game, Randy Johnson unleashed a jamarcus that sailed three feet over the head of John Kruk.

After she caught me banging her sister, my girlfriend chucked a shoe at my head, but fortunately she jamarcused it and broke the window instead of nailing me in the dome piece.

We would have won that cornhole game if Jimmy hadn't been such a jamarcus. He only hit the board three times in the entire game!
by Nicholas D January 5, 2012
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excrement expo

A synonym of shit show or fecal festival; a crazy time when anything can happen.
Jeff: "Hey man, you should swing by my place on Friday night. It's going to be a total excrement expo!"
Ryan: "Real shit show, huh? I'll be there!"
*Ding Dong*
Jeff: "Welcome to the shit show, man."
Ryan: "Um...it smells bad in here. Where's the keg? Why don't I see any hot girls?"
Jeff: "Even better my friend. This right here is a rare petrified dropping from a 15th century dodo bird...oh and this one over here came from a woolly mammoth 100,000 years ago!"
Ryan: "Dude. I didn't realize you meant that literally. This is a bunch of bullshit."
Jeff: "No, the bull shit is in the other room. Really interesting stuff. Let me show you."
Ryan: "Screw this. I'm swayze."
by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
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