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Nicholas D's definitions

What do we have for 'em, Johnny?

A sarcastic comment that is used when someone figures out something really obvious. An imitation of a game show host announcing that someone has given the correct answer and has won a prize that his assistant (Johnny) will specify on cue. Often preceded by "Ding ding!"
Boss: "OK everyone, Brenda Smith is going to be out on Thursday so we need someone to volunteer to fill her time slot."
Mike Hawk: "I'm available that day. I can do it."
Boss: "All righty then. I'm going to go ahead and stick Mike Hawk in her slot."
Steve: "That's what she said! Or...um...actually I mean that's what HE said!"
(everyone laughs except Jim)
Jim: "I don't get it..."
(20 seconds go by)
Jim: "Oh haha, now I get it...Mike Hawk sounds like 'my cock!' It's sexual innuendo. That's a good one."
Steve: "DING DING! What do we have for 'em, Johnny?"
by Nicholas D February 20, 2009
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what's up now

A rhetorical question used when one is in a difficult predicament and the circumstances suddenly change in his/her favor, such as when the person in trouble pulls out a gat or when his/her posse shows up ready to whoop some ass. Often followed by "bitch" or "punk" to further assert dominance.
Barack Obama: "Now that I've won the Iowa caucus, I have the Democratic nomination in the bag. The New Hampshire primary is going to be a walk in the park."
(Hillary Clinton wins New Hampshire primary)
Hillary Clinton: "Hell yeah! What's up now, bitch???"
(Barack Obama wins the Democratic nomination)
Hillary Clinton (obviously insincerely): "Congratulations, Senator Obama. I am so happy for you. The American people definitely made the right choice."
Barack Obama: "Three words, Senator Clinton: WHAT'S UP NOW?!?!?!"
by Nicholas D February 26, 2009
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gobbler

1) A male turkey.
2) A woman of loose morals. Short for cockgobbler.
1) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm so proud of you."
2) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. You're a disgrace to this family...and so is your grandfather, who paid that fat skank $20 for a hummer."
by Nicholas D May 8, 2007
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Toob

To masturbate on a Zoom call. Progressive form: Toobin. Past tense: Toob'd.
The New Yorker staff fired Jeffrey Toobin for Toobin on an election simulation Zoom call after he misread the event as an erection stimulation call.
by Nicholas D October 20, 2020
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shattuck

1) When you tuck your shirt back into your pants after just having shat (taken a shit).
2) One of the main streets in Berkeley, CA.
Buddy: "Isn't it weird how Berkeley named its main street after the act of rearranging your clothing after taking a shit?"
Guy: "Not weird at all. When you walk down the street you're guaranteed to see at least one bum pooping out in the open, so seeing a shattuck is pretty common on Shattuck Ave."
by Nicholas D October 14, 2019
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moana

New England term for a woman who is loud and enthusiastic in bed

Pronounced "MOAN-uh"
(conversation via text so pronunciation isn't obvious)
Ben: "Hey dude, did you bang that hot polynesian girl from the bar last night?"
Steve: "Hell yeah bro, she was a real moana!"
Ben: "Uh...isn't that a little racist? That's like calling a random middle eastern guy Aladdin. Not cool."
Steve: "No not the Disney princess, I mean she was moaning up a storm!"
by Nicholas D August 8, 2017
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smell your dick

A figurative term meaning to check if someone is being honest. Comes from Riskay 's song "Smell Yo Dick" about checking for infidelity, but has since come into usage in a business setting.
Jimmy: "So we are giving you exclusive access to this special deal for $35k since you are our absolute favorite client."
Peter: "Johnson, can you call up Willy from Cox-Zucker and see what they were offered?"
Jimmy: "Wait, what? You don't trust me?"
Johnson: "Willy confirms an offer of $29k."
Jimmy: "Well I never! That's preposterous!"
Peter: " Sorry buddy, had to go ahead and smell your dick on this one. And it stinks. Well, so much for this deal. Later, Jimmy."
by Nicholas D May 17, 2016
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