Definitions by Mr. Cardboard
special needs haircut
One of the best possible pranks you can pull on someone who gets too drunk and falls asleep at a party. Various forms are possible but depend largely on the pre-existing haircut, the position the recipient has passed out in, how unconscious they are and the hair cutting devices available.
The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".
nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".
nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
Dude 1: Urgh, where am I? What time is it?
Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*
Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*
Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
special needs haircut by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
angry tramp
Cocktail, also known as a bullseye. Consists of 50% red wine, 50% red bull, though more commonly red rooster is used instead of red bull as it is way cheaper.
The best fucking drink in the world to get fucked up on, but causing you to shout incoherently at traffic - hence the name.
The best fucking drink in the world to get fucked up on, but causing you to shout incoherently at traffic - hence the name.
Dude 1: Did you just pour red rooster into your wine?
Dude 2: Yeah, it's an angry tramp. Try some.
Dude 1: (tries drink) wow, that's fuckin awesome. Can I have one?
(2 hours later)
Dude 1: fuckin... CARS! I'll give you... somethin to beep about. Yeah BEEP BEEP. I remember, I was... This way? Yes.
Dude 2: Yeah, it's an angry tramp. Try some.
Dude 1: (tries drink) wow, that's fuckin awesome. Can I have one?
(2 hours later)
Dude 1: fuckin... CARS! I'll give you... somethin to beep about. Yeah BEEP BEEP. I remember, I was... This way? Yes.
angry tramp by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
thirsty
Sarah Silverman: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”
thirsty by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
bubbly
A sunny disposition adopted by fat women because if they didn't they would have nothing to offer society.
Dude: So what's your friend like?
Chick: Oh she's awesome, she's really bubbly.
Dude: You mean she's fat?
Chick: No, she just has a great outlook on life. Always so positive.
Dude: Okay then. But is she fat?
Chick: Well, she's kinda big...
Dude: Uh-huh, that's what I thought.
Chick: Oh she's awesome, she's really bubbly.
Dude: You mean she's fat?
Chick: No, she just has a great outlook on life. Always so positive.
Dude: Okay then. But is she fat?
Chick: Well, she's kinda big...
Dude: Uh-huh, that's what I thought.
bubbly by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
facefuck
To comment on someone's facebook status or post and engage them in conversation, then delete all your comments so it looks like they have been talking to themself.
Victim: I know, they rock!
Victim: Absolutely! Last year, and twice the year before.
Victim: Yeah she's great. I can't wait.
Victim: Aww I got facefucked...
Victim: Absolutely! Last year, and twice the year before.
Victim: Yeah she's great. I can't wait.
Victim: Aww I got facefucked...
facefuck by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
jack
Suffix meaning "to steal", generally applied to a vehicle or situation. Originates from the word hijack but bastardised for comic effect.
Dude 1: I was gonna go for a crap but someone's running a bath.
Dude 2: You should have jacked it.
Dude 1: Bathjacking?
Dude 2: You should have jacked it.
Dude 1: Bathjacking?
jack by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
brown
brown by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011