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Mr. Cardboard's definitions

schlongs in thongs

An amusing way to refer to male transvestites and pre-op transexuals, in the same vein as other rhyming or alliterative means of alleviating the ridiculousness of encountering men who are so psychologically damaged that they believe they are actually women trapped in men's bodies, because no-one has bothered to explain to them that they have X and Y chromosomes whereas women have only X chromosomes, and that their assertion that they are female is therefore medically and scientifically impossible.

See also:
chicks with dicks, cocks in frocks, sluts with nuts, dames with dongs, women with wangs, girls with grapes, princesses with penises, mums with plums, lads in lingerie, gals with balls, boys with boobs
I have an annual subscription to Schlongs in Thongs.
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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sex dungeon

Any form of dungeon where sexual activities occur.

At one extreme this is a spare room in a house containing some vaguely dungeony artefacts like plastic handcuffs where a consensual couple may role play S&M when they are in the mood for some minor kink.

The other extreme is an actual dungeon in the dark, dank bowels of an actual castle where individuals are held permanently against their will and forced to perform unspeakable acts for the gratification of their captor.
Customer: "Do you sell galvanised steel chain?"

Shop assistant: "Yes sir, aisle 6"

Customer: "Great, and do you have manacles?"

Shop assistant: "Sorry we're fresh out, have you tried 'Sex Dungeons R Us'?"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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thirsty

A craving for water or other beverage to alleviate dehydration.
Sarah Silverman: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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McFucktard

1. A low-level employee of McDonalds or any other generic fast-food outlet.

2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.

3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.
Customer: "Big Mac and fries please."

McFucktard: "Do you want fries with that?"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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time machine

A sizeable stash of pornography built up over several decades, enabling you to relive the experiences of people who masturbated in those times.
Will Ferrell: "I still hate you, but you've got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags."

John C. Reilly: "Yeah, I got them from the '70's, '80's and '90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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goober

Someone who is unable to manage their finances or fertility well enough such that they have to get out of bed or "goob" in order to obtain more money or attend to their offspring, instead of lying in bed all day drinking and masturbating like a true champion.
"I have 3 kids and a large mortgage."

"You goober."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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PA

Ponce: Schedule a meeting through my PA.

Human: PA?

Ponce: Personal Assistant.

Human: You mean your assistant?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
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