Mr. Cardboard's definitions

shipwreck

Cocktail - variant of the Bloody Mary.

A large measure of 60% proof white Jamaican rum in a dirty glass, overfilled with tinned chopped tomatoes such that the juice runs down the outside of the glass onto the table. Stirred with index finger, spilling more of the contents.

Taste and immediately regret. Place on table and forget about for several minutes, then accidentally spill down the wall. Leave on wall for 3-5 years.

Chick: What the fuck is that on the wall?

Dude: Shipwreck.

by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011

thirsty

A craving for water or other beverage to alleviate dehydration.

Sarah Silverman: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”

by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011

immolate

to impersonate a mole

"There's a famous picture of a Vietrnamese monk who immolated himself in order to protest the war."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

brown

to murder someone, from cockney rhyming slang "brown bread": dead.

Hench: The weasel doesn't wanna pay.

Boss: Fackin' brown 'im!

by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011

PA

1. Personal Assistant

2. Pointless Acronym

Ponce: Schedule a meeting through my PA.

Human: PA?

Ponce: Personal Assistant.

Human: You mean your assistant?

by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011

mousepraneense

To mispronounce a word or phrase.

A: "That's so banal."

B: "I think you are mousepraneenseing that word."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

Wankel Rotary Engine

An ingenious engine design which avoids the reciprocal motion of the piston engine and manages to incorporate the suck, squeeze, bang, blow of internal combustion engines into a rotating piston.

Not a torture device of any kind.

The Wankel rotary engine is far more efficient than the latest hybrid cars, but nobody will buy one because it sounds too much like "wanker".

by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011