Mr. Cardboard's definitions
Someone who is unable to manage their finances or fertility well enough such that they have to get out of bed or "goob" in order to obtain more money or attend to their offspring, instead of lying in bed all day drinking and masturbating like a true champion.
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the goober mug.An accidental theoretical construct in the brain of someone who is not paying full attention to the conversation.
Dude 1: I was in O'Neills last night and there was this gorgeous Irish chick in there.
Dude 2: What's an Irish chicken?
Dude 2: What's an Irish chicken?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Get the irish chicken mug.A bizzare expression used by some people to describe the small, square cushions placed on a couch to enhance it's comfort and aesthetics, as opposed to the larger cushions which form the seat and are hence integral to the couch.
They're not "couch pillows", they're CUSHIONS. Pillows are what you rest your head on while you sleep, cry into when you're a teenage girl or bite when you get fucked in the ass - but only when the aforementioned events happen IN BED.
They're not "couch pillows", they're CUSHIONS. Pillows are what you rest your head on while you sleep, cry into when you're a teenage girl or bite when you get fucked in the ass - but only when the aforementioned events happen IN BED.
From Step Brothers (2008):
Richard Jenkins: "Dale sleepwalks too."
Mary Steenburgen: "Are you kidding me?"
Richard Jenkins: "I'm not. Look in the oven."
Mary Steenburgen: "What's in the...couch pillows?"
Richard Jenkins: "Dale sleepwalks too."
Mary Steenburgen: "Are you kidding me?"
Richard Jenkins: "I'm not. Look in the oven."
Mary Steenburgen: "What's in the...couch pillows?"
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the couch pillows mug.Cocktail, also known as a bullseye. Consists of 50% red wine, 50% red bull, though more commonly red rooster is used instead of red bull as it is way cheaper.
The best fucking drink in the world to get fucked up on, but causing you to shout incoherently at traffic - hence the name.
The best fucking drink in the world to get fucked up on, but causing you to shout incoherently at traffic - hence the name.
Dude 1: Did you just pour red rooster into your wine?
Dude 2: Yeah, it's an angry tramp. Try some.
Dude 1: (tries drink) wow, that's fuckin awesome. Can I have one?
(2 hours later)
Dude 1: fuckin... CARS! I'll give you... somethin to beep about. Yeah BEEP BEEP. I remember, I was... This way? Yes.
Dude 2: Yeah, it's an angry tramp. Try some.
Dude 1: (tries drink) wow, that's fuckin awesome. Can I have one?
(2 hours later)
Dude 1: fuckin... CARS! I'll give you... somethin to beep about. Yeah BEEP BEEP. I remember, I was... This way? Yes.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the angry tramp mug.One of the best possible pranks you can pull on someone who gets too drunk and falls asleep at a party. Various forms are possible but depend largely on the pre-existing haircut, the position the recipient has passed out in, how unconscious they are and the hair cutting devices available.
The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".
nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".
nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
Dude 1: Urgh, where am I? What time is it?
Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*
Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*
Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the special needs haircut mug.Ponce: Schedule a meeting through my PA.
Human: PA?
Ponce: Personal Assistant.
Human: You mean your assistant?
Human: PA?
Ponce: Personal Assistant.
Human: You mean your assistant?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Get the PA mug.by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the mousepraneense mug.