Mr. Cardboard's definitions
An accidental theoretical construct in the brain of someone who is not paying full attention to the conversation.
Dude 1: I was in O'Neills last night and there was this gorgeous Irish chick in there.
Dude 2: What's an Irish chicken?
Dude 2: What's an Irish chicken?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Get the irish chickenmug. A bizzare expression used by some people to describe the small, square cushions placed on a couch to enhance it's comfort and aesthetics, as opposed to the larger cushions which form the seat and are hence integral to the couch.
They're not "couch pillows", they're CUSHIONS. Pillows are what you rest your head on while you sleep, cry into when you're a teenage girl or bite when you get fucked in the ass - but only when the aforementioned events happen IN BED.
They're not "couch pillows", they're CUSHIONS. Pillows are what you rest your head on while you sleep, cry into when you're a teenage girl or bite when you get fucked in the ass - but only when the aforementioned events happen IN BED.
From Step Brothers (2008):
Richard Jenkins: "Dale sleepwalks too."
Mary Steenburgen: "Are you kidding me?"
Richard Jenkins: "I'm not. Look in the oven."
Mary Steenburgen: "What's in the...couch pillows?"
Richard Jenkins: "Dale sleepwalks too."
Mary Steenburgen: "Are you kidding me?"
Richard Jenkins: "I'm not. Look in the oven."
Mary Steenburgen: "What's in the...couch pillows?"
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
Get the couch pillowsmug. A woman who maks highly questionable noises during sex, such that it sounds as if you are just pressing the sound effect buttons on a keyboard rather than pleasuring her.
*ooh-ooh-aah-aah*
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.
Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?
Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.
Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?
Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
Get the sex keyboardmug. The gayest sport in all the world, even gayer than men's synchronised fisting in pink leotards to "Small Town Boy" by Bronski Beat.
An excuse to watch men in shorts lock legs with other men in shorts while they try to shoot white balls into your gaping orifice while your team mate tries in vain to prevent said hole from being violated.
So gay that supporters of football "teams" hold regular pride parades resulting in "who's the gayest" skirmishes to see who can be the first in prison to get bum raped.
An excuse to watch men in shorts lock legs with other men in shorts while they try to shoot white balls into your gaping orifice while your team mate tries in vain to prevent said hole from being violated.
So gay that supporters of football "teams" hold regular pride parades resulting in "who's the gayest" skirmishes to see who can be the first in prison to get bum raped.
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the footballmug. To comment on someone's facebook status or post and engage them in conversation, then delete all your comments so it looks like they have been talking to themself.
Victim: I know, they rock!
Victim: Absolutely! Last year, and twice the year before.
Victim: Yeah she's great. I can't wait.
Victim: Aww I got facefucked...
Victim: Absolutely! Last year, and twice the year before.
Victim: Yeah she's great. I can't wait.
Victim: Aww I got facefucked...
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
Get the facefuckmug. The natural lubricant of the anus, designed to enable shit to slide out more easily but which also facilitates the insertion of golf balls.
"I was holding in a shit all last period but it turned out to just be a huge fart, however I wiped anyway in case some marmalade had come out."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the marmalademug. Any form of dungeon where sexual activities occur.
At one extreme this is a spare room in a house containing some vaguely dungeony artefacts like plastic handcuffs where a consensual couple may role play S&M when they are in the mood for some minor kink.
The other extreme is an actual dungeon in the dark, dank bowels of an actual castle where individuals are held permanently against their will and forced to perform unspeakable acts for the gratification of their captor.
At one extreme this is a spare room in a house containing some vaguely dungeony artefacts like plastic handcuffs where a consensual couple may role play S&M when they are in the mood for some minor kink.
The other extreme is an actual dungeon in the dark, dank bowels of an actual castle where individuals are held permanently against their will and forced to perform unspeakable acts for the gratification of their captor.
Customer: "Do you sell galvanised steel chain?"
Shop assistant: "Yes sir, aisle 6"
Customer: "Great, and do you have manacles?"
Shop assistant: "Sorry we're fresh out, have you tried 'Sex Dungeons R Us'?"
Shop assistant: "Yes sir, aisle 6"
Customer: "Great, and do you have manacles?"
Shop assistant: "Sorry we're fresh out, have you tried 'Sex Dungeons R Us'?"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
Get the sex dungeonmug.