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Mr. Cardboard's definitions

hide the chips

Before hiding the sausage, any man worth his salt first hides the chips. i.e. before sticking your cock in a bird it is generally wise to stick a couple of fingers in there to assess the risk of disease/transvestite/mousetraps.

This act can be conveniently passed off as "foreplay".
A: Dude I saw you getting it on with Stacey last night, how'd you make out?
B: Gutted, she'd only let me finger her.
A: Hid the chips?* Here let me smell.

*past participle of "hide the chips"
by Mr. Cardboard June 27, 2011
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freak out

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm trying to work out what colour your eyes are."

"Well stoppit you're freaking me out."

*infinitive of "freak out"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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al dente

Undercooked pasta which, upon regurgitation, resembles a squirming mass of worms and maggots. Al dente literally means "to the teeth", as it is almost crunchy, meaning it is cheap, dried pasta rather than fresh, soft pasta.

For example a hastily-cooked friday night spaghetti before going out on the piss can be complimented as "al dente", however once one is blowing chunks in the form of long, strandy, red worms covered in stomach bile that tickle ever inch of your oesophagus, not to mention the back of your nose, down a back alley, soon becomes "undercooked".
"Sorry I puked all over your dress last night."

"That's ok, it was mostly spaghetti so it was very easy to clean off, thank god for al dente."

"That explains why I shat nothing but worms and maggots this morning, next time I'll give it a couple more minutes in the pan."
by Mr. Cardboard November 3, 2011
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thirsty

A craving for water or other beverage to alleviate dehydration.
Sarah Silverman: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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immolate

"There's a famous picture of a Vietrnamese monk who immolated himself in order to protest the war."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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PA

Ponce: Schedule a meeting through my PA.

Human: PA?

Ponce: Personal Assistant.

Human: You mean your assistant?
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
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chromosomes

Something that men have 24 kinds of whereas women have just 23. Although women have two X chromosomes while men have one X and one Y, one of the women's X chromosomes is "transcriptionally silent" i.e. completely inactive.

The Y chromosome is the sole distinguishing factor between men and women and therefore the home of the genes for rationality and abilities such as parking, understanding maps, inventing humourous jokes or indeed anything useful, using an ATM in 30 seconds or less and not turning into a blubbering mess when something trivial occurs, like a parent's death.
"Have you seen The Sarah Silverman Show? She is one funny ass chick!"

"Yeah but she's literally the ONLY one, makes me kinda suspicious about them chromosomes."
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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