Mr Ben's definitions

Barclay's Banker

Cockney rhyming slang for someone who excessively masturbates, a wanker. Slightly better than calling someone a Gareth Hunt, at any rate.

"Get up the apple and pears, you Barclay's banker! I don't Adam and Eve it..."

by Mr Ben February 11, 2005

mumsey

To be over-protective or smoothering of another individual. A mumsey person will not stop to think how mumsey they are - indeed, they will not see how embarrassing or annoying it can be.

"Make sure you've got everything. I've put enough sandwiches in your suitcase to feed a small army and I've squeezed in two thermos flasks of coffee. Don't forget to call us when you ge back! Have you got everything..." - typical mumsey reaction when I return to London after visiting the parents in Norfolk.

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

scrawl

Messy or illegible handwriting, usually a signature or a small piece of graffiti. Doctors and other health workers are masters of the scrawl.

"Call that a signature, it's just one big scrawl!"

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

spanner monkey

A largely useless individual whose only career prospects are to work in maintainence departments painting walls and replacing light-bulbs. May have questionable habits such as an excess love of porn, language that would make a soldier blush and a equally useless son.

"Why can't one of those spanner monkeys come up here to fix the lights?"

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

goodie-two-shoes

Someone who always does what's right and not what they're supposed to do.

"That goodie-two-shoes grassed up his own mother! The little bastard..."

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

urinialphobia

The fear of standing between two men at a public urinal.

"I think most men suffer from urinalphobia at some stage in their lives" - Dr Phil Space

by Mr Ben February 11, 2005

rake

A person who can eat shitloads of food but not put on any weight. Big hair not required. See also mop.

"I was a rake until I went to University and now look at me."

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005