Mr Ben's definitions

kiddie kicker

Someone you meet online in a game (Quake 3, for example) with a name spelt with capitals at random intervals, numbers, multiple colours if possible and an inprobably tough-sounding name. However, what truely makes a kiddie kicker is his real persona - an eleven year old boy from Minneapolis who's trying to avoid doing his homework and focuses his attention on whopping your ass.

"FeaR mE, fOr i aM bOw31 bu5T3r!"

"MARTIN! Have you finished your maths homework yet?"

"Not yet, mom."

by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

satnav woman

A mysterious woman, locked away in a secret lab somewhere in Germany, whose sultry sexy tones provide guidance to millions to male drivers via their satellite navigation system. Can also be used to describe the vocal commands heard in other places, like an elevator.

"After... 200 yards, turn... left. Turn left. Do it now. You have turned... right. You are now going the wrong way." - satnav woman in full flow.

by Mr Ben July 18, 2006

liberty

Freedom, the all-too-rare position of being able to think, speak and act indepentently. Not to be confused with equality, something else that should be more prevelant in the world today.

If someone could send this definition to the 43rd President of the USA, I would be grateful. If someone there could read it to him, I'd be even happier.

"We have succeeded in giving liberty to the Iraqi people... well, maybe not quite yet but we're working on it. Yeah."

by Mr Ben February 10, 2005

Old Boy's Network

Name given to the informal links that criss-cross upper society, enabling people with power to do favours in exchange for favours with someone else in a different area of expertise. May also be called bribery and cheating buggery.

"I need a loan but my bank manager can't help me. Can you lend me a couple of thousand until the divorce is settled?" - typical plea given when consulting the Old Boy's Network.

by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

NOMS

Acronym for Not On My Shift. Used to pass the buck and shift blame for an incident that you are directly responsible for but do not want to admit. Care must be taken when using the word as management will think you are muttering under your breath.

"Mr Ben, did you see who attacked Mrs Webster with the fire extinguisher?"

"No, I didn't. NOMS."

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

tornado

A sudden and inexplicable increase in customers, causing massive amounts of damage and devastation. Then, just as strangely as it appears, the whole thing blows over and the place is empty and now wrecked.

"We've just had a bit of a tornado in here, Boss."

by Mr Ben February 7, 2005

adn

Frequent mispelling of the word "and" and therefore, possibly the most annoying word you'll ever read when going over your work. Apart from "teh".

"Round adn round they went... oh, FUCK IT!"

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005