Monkey's Dad's definitions

Anti-Socialist Behavior

Scorning Bernie for his 'socialist' ideas, then cheering Trump for promising to write everyone a check.

How dare they criticize her anti-socialist behavior?! Bernie wanted to give everyone free healthcare! Because he is Communist! Donald the self-made millionaire is going to send every American some free money, which they can spend any way they want, on beer and bullets, keeping the government out of everyone's life!

by Monkey's Dad March 26, 2020

negated negation

A prefix which should, but does not, negate the word to which it is attached. While 'mobility' and 'immobility' are opposites, as are 'effective' and 'ineffective', the words 'passivity' and 'impassivity' mean the same thing, as do the words 'flammable' and 'inflammable'.

Tired of being described as passive, he decided to be more impassive. He'd be a man of action, or maybe even inaction. What difference could a negated negation make?

by Monkey's Dad July 25, 2023

turning 21

The age at which a person, and America, are due to attain maturity.

After four crazy years, during which so much happened that she knew she'd later be ashamed of, she was ready. "21" was shiny with promise, and turning 21 in '21, she and the country were eager to put it behind them.

by Monkey's Dad December 24, 2020

social duhstancing

Pandemic precautions so obvious that they should not have to be explained.

Don't stand in the midst of a crowded bar, don't hug and kiss strangers, don't take selfies with friends... because it could kill you. Yes, really. Lots of people already know this. It's called social duhstancing.

by Monkey's Dad June 18, 2020

PhD from LIU

A Phone Degree from Look It Up.

An education gained not in school but through addiction to the smartphone. The reflex to Look It Up, in the face of any unknown fact, is the giveaway of a 21st century autodidact.

The professor seems to have her doctorate and then some, but watch closely for three minutes and you'll see's got a PhD from LIU.

by Monkey's Dad March 2, 2020

invisible prison cell

The six-foot radius meant to prevent coronavirus transmission.

He felt it as portable solitary confinement, like carrying around an invisible prison cell.

by Monkey's Dad March 23, 2020

Darnella Frazier

The young woman whose eyewitness video of the George Floyd killing by former police officer Derek Chauvin in Minneapolis on May 25, 2020, became a crucial artifact of American history.

Only 17 at the time, Darnella Frazier is to the Floyd killing what Abraham Zapruder was to the assassination of John F. Kennedy, an accidental bystander with a camera, a vital witness to an historic moment. Ms. Frazier's video of the arrest, which recorded Floyd's plea - I can't breathe - as Chauvin knelt on his neck for more than 9 minutes, sparked protests across the country. A witness at Chauvin's murder trial, Ms. Frazier expressed regret for not physically confronting Mr. Chauvin. “It’s been nights I stayed up apologizing and apologizing to George Floyd for not doing more and not physically interacting and not saving his life,” Ms. Frazier said.

by Monkey's Dad March 31, 2021