Monkey's Dad's definitions

it'll wait

The haircut, manicure or new tattoo some feel they can't live without.

It's only hair, and it'll wait.

by Monkey's Dad May 19, 2020

More Guns Than People

In the United States, 332 million people and an even greater number of firearms openly compete . On a daily basis, the firearms succeed in eliminating some of the human population. Humans attempting to reduce the number of firearms always fail.

In America, there are more guns than people.

by Monkey's Dad October 27, 2023

Glass slippers

In "Cinderella", a ridiculous mis-translation from the French. The original story, handed down orally, centered around "Vair" slippers, vair being squirrel fur. But "vair" sounds like "verre", the French word for glass, and so it continued. Fur slippers make perfect sense. But glass??

Cinderella felt sorry for the handsome prince, kneeling before her. She wondered what kind of idiot expected her to take two steps in glass slippers, when the beloved pair she had lost were made of fur. "I mean, glass shoes? Really?"

by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020

Mozombieque

The geographical root and source of Zombie legends.

Mozombieque is located on the coast of Africa, bordered by Zombia to the northwest and by Zombabwe on the west, all three countries populated by the living dead.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

Pharmageddon

Massive loss and suffering, resulting from potential failure to develop a vaccine against Covid-19.

As the hopes of the world were focused on Big Pharma, the dates kept getting pushed back - probably October, maybe by the end of the year, sometime in 2022, well, the virus keeps mutating, so... - the number of infections and deaths mounted, and it came to be seen as Pharmageddon.

by Monkey's Dad July 6, 2020

friend or faux?

Uncertainty about the genuineness of someone's affections.

She is always inviting me to lunch, texting, bringing small gifts, but there is something in her eyes which makes me wonder - is she friend or faux?

by Monkey's Dad October 6, 2020

para-apocalyptic

A situation created out of fear that the end is coming, when in all probability it isn't. Feeling equivalent to the apocalypse, while not actually being there.

Empty shelves, empty stores, empty restaurants and empty streets, 'it's para-apocalyptic', he thought.

by Monkey's Dad March 13, 2020