Monkey's Dad's definitions

A Head of Esteem

In facing a challenging goal, the confidence that you are good enough to do it.

She'd give it a shot, but first she needed to work up a head of esteem.

by Monkey's Dad October 5, 2022

cyberoticism

An aura of sexuality conveyed through the Internet. Sexually arousing online communication.

They were both working from home, like everyone, but he looked forward to her joining his Zoom meetings. She was clearly on her bed, not wearing much, and every time she spoke there was a jolt of cyberoticism, which, in isolation, he so deeply craved.

by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020

cat's cradle

The delusional gesture of separating the hands, bringing them together again, manipulating yarn, which Donald Trump continually plays while speaking. A game beloved of little girls everywhere.

Debating Biden, Trump revealed his inner life by continually playing cat's cradle.

by Monkey's Dad October 23, 2020

Official Wokesperson

The face of an institution, corporation, etc , whose job it is to stand before the press and convey an image of irreproachable political correctness.

"Here at Enlightenment Worldwide, LLC, there is not one single straight, white, male on our staff", said the Official Wokesperson, who indeed seemed oddly indeterminate as to gender and ethnicity. "Further, I apologize for my English, as it is not my first language but my seventh."

by Monkey's Dad March 6, 2020

craptitude

A rarified skillset needed to deal with the mundane, the meaningless, the growing piles of junk and the demands of ordering still more stuff that occupy the day and often pass for a full life.

Sitting on the bed, staring at yet another emerging bedside volcano, she was confident she could summon the craptitude to conquer, organize and move on to higher callings... "just give me five minutes".

by Monkey's Dad April 15, 2023

Girlie Bird

A self-consciously hyper-feminized young woman

"The Girlie Bird catches the worm" muttered Tiff to herself, as she put the final touches on her makeup, earrings, hair, stilettos, cleavage and hemline, before heading to the bar.

by Monkey's Dad November 30, 2019

unvirtuality

Virtual unreality. Disorientation resulting from too much screen time.

After months of virtual meetings, virtual birthday parties, virtual sex, he felt real life slipping away, drowning in unvirtuality.

by Monkey's Dad April 13, 2020