Monkey's Dad's definitions

significan't other

Your partner in an isolationship. The lover you are prevented from being with, due to stay-at-home orders during the coronaviral lockdown

She longed for his embrace, but for now he was her significan't other, their desire for each other intensified because of enforced solitude.

by Monkey's Dad April 9, 2020

masturetribution

To lie beside a sleeping partner who has refused sex, and silently bring oneself to climax.

In a defiant act of masturetribution she gave herself a dozen orgasms, listening to him sleep, feeling it served him right for giving her the cold shoulder all week.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

trashionalization

Justifying the crushing of someone else's point of view, feelings, work or beliefs.

His trashionalization for demolishing her argument was easy. Family separation at the border was inhumane, and everyone else at the table knew it.

by Monkey's Dad March 7, 2020

Kardashed expectations

Disappointment when the real world of 2020 does not keep up with the Kardashians.

Would like, Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, Kylie and Kendall ever, like, accept being canceled? It was rigged, fraudulent, they weren't leaving, and someone was gonna pay for her Kardashed expectations.

by Monkey's Dad September 9, 2020

Cabin Footprint

The amount of carbon dioxide - essentially zero - emitted due to the consumption of fossil fuels by a person in the grip of Cabin Fever, staying at home during the pandemic.

She wasn't flying. She wasn't driving. She wasn't even walking, except to pace her apartment in a state of cabin fever. She figured she could at least be proud of her tiny cabin footprint.

by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020

Quaranteenager

A person coming of age in the coronaviral age, home-schooled, missing out on dating, beer, pot and every other rite of social passage.

Watching "Clueless", "Ladybird" and "Booksmart" while in lockdown, she yearned to experience the geeky teen years which were her birthright and hated-hated-hated being a dorky quaranteenager.

by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020

irrationalize

To explain behavior or attitude with illogical, implausible reasons.

"Because my closest friends will be there", she said, "everyone I most like spending time with", explaining why she refused to go to the party. He could counter any reasonable explanation with facts, but hearing her irrationalize, he became flummoxed and just gave in.

by Monkey's Dad March 15, 2020