Monkey's Dad's definitions

Facebook patient

Someone who uses Facebook as a thinly-disguised substitute for actual psychotherapy.

Heather's posts centered around her anxieties, her phobias, her delusional self-image - photos of herself taken today, taken ten years ago, taken when she was born - complimenting herself in a variety of ways, and her friends obliged, from empathy, 'liking', 'sharing', telling her how beautiful she still was, knowing she was a Facebook patient.

by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020

Reviral Meeting

A premature gathering, reviving the spread of coronavirus.

She was so done with lockdown. Everyone was heading for the church and she was going to attend that reviral meeting and praise His name.

by Monkey's Dad May 3, 2020

HM

Her Majesty / High Maintenance. "Allow me to inform your uppity blonde self that we ain't even got no damn grapefruit juice to splash in your damn Sex on the Beach and same applies to whatever your pet monkey drinkin' too."

"What would HM request we place before her refined palate this morning? Hmm?"

by Monkey's Dad November 23, 2022

ICEolation

The condition of migrant families held in detention during the pandemic.

They seem all-but forgotten, many thousands of innocent people still being held in ICEolation, parents and children separated from each other, crowded and unable to keep any distance, now at extreme risk for contracting COVID-19.

by Monkey's Dad April 19, 2020

Chimp on your shoulder

Having a Monkey on your back and a Chip on your shoulder, simultaneously.

Everyone knew to avoid the conspiracy-spewing moron at the end of the bar, except the one guy looking for a fight. He came up behind him and said "Is that a chimp on your shoulder, or did you offer Tucker Carlson a piggyback?"

by Monkey's Dad August 8, 2021

Msogynist

A polite and politically correct Misogynist.

Never crude or disrespectful to the fair sex, he introduced himself to women as a Msogynist.

by Monkey's Dad August 29, 2021

#MehToo

#MeToo fatigue, the result of elastic boundaries applied in accusations of inappropriate conduct.

She struggled to understand how Andrew Cuomo was being classed alongside R. Kelly and Harvey Weinstein. When old grab-em-by-the-pussy-Trump had been given a pass, for God's sake??!! She wondered whether she and her friends had arrived at their #MehToo moment.

by Monkey's Dad March 2, 2021