In a defiant act of masturetribution she gave herself a dozen orgasms, listening to him sleep, feeling it served him right for giving her the cold shoulder all week.
by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020
Was she really aiming to get a laugh by mocking a gender-neutral, disabled person of indeterminate ethnicity, an age-challenged, vaccine-addled, undocumented person whose worldly belongings were spilling out of a shopping cart as they slowly tried to cross the street in front of her car while she leaned on the horn? It was by every standard worse than un-funny. It was deranged, a psick joke, but one she hoped would get her the gig she yearned for - hosting the 2025 White House Correspondents dinner.
by Monkey's Dad September 16, 2021
The movie is from 2019 BC. Strangers are smiling at each other. The guy kisses the girl... on a date!
by Monkey's Dad June 28, 2020
A quaint social custom of the early 21st century in which two strangers agreed to occupy the same room for a period of time. Presently unthinkable.
She could almost remember the last time she had been touched, it was a hookup, when she and the world were innocent and a stranger could be seen as an okay thing, not a possible death sentence.
by Monkey's Dad March 19, 2020
The first few months of being alone had been hard, but gradually she's developed her own soli'tude. She could get along just fine with no one... thank you.
by Monkey's Dad May 25, 2020
The misanthrope's currently-plausible excuse.
"We can't be too careful, can we?", he said, avoiding his friend's extended elbow and backing away. While everyone was doing it, he'd always done it, his antisocial distancing now conveniently disguised as responsible social distancing.
by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020
The new Fear of Flying, where people on a plane are inches apart and, once seated beside someone coughing, there is nowhere to escape.
Advised to distance himself from other humans, needing to get to Chicago, he assessed the flight risk and decided to drive.
by Monkey's Dad March 18, 2020