Monkey's Dad's definitions

Permababy

A creature, human or otherwise, who retains the characteristics of an infant, no matter how long they have lived.

Yes, we know she looks like a puppy, but she's thirteen - a Permababy.

by Monkey's Dad December 23, 2019

I'll wait here

When spoken to a man, by a woman, who is seated comfortably in the front seat of a car, on a rainy day, outside Starbucks, translates into English as: Venti Cappuccino with almond milk and a vanilla bean pastry, please.

I'll wait here.

by Monkey's Dad December 24, 2019

Minotaurectomy

Procedure to remove a man's bullheaded virility, performed by a female, using a few choice words.

Seeing him snort and paw the ground, while angling his horns in her direction, she was planning tonight's minotaurectomy, which would preferably be non-surgical, but hey.

by Monkey's Dad January 5, 2020

backsided compliment

A signal of mutual attraction, directed to a man by a woman, as she turns away and very subtly angles her hips and derriere.

Knowing his eyes were on her, she turned to give him a fleeting but unmistakable backsided compliment.

by Monkey's Dad January 5, 2020

Naybe

Nay, disguised as Maybe, used when you mean "absolutely not" and don't have the courage to say it.

I told him naybe when he asked me out. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but how much clearer can I make it?

by Monkey's Dad January 7, 2020

Call me Phishmail

The opening line of a disarmingly transparent effort to get your SSN, passwords and credit card number.

Never read Moby Dick? Then call me Phishmail. Impress your friends 'cause absolutely free I'll give you my lightning tutorial on Melville's massive classic. Just click here.

by Monkey's Dad January 19, 2020

Scar Spangled Banner

Anthem for a wounded nation.

Imagining the empty stadium, the canceled opening game, he heard the Scar Spangled Banner, sung in a silent voice.

by Monkey's Dad March 25, 2020