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Monkey's Dad's definitions

2020WTF

A vanity license plate, issued in Maine.
She stared numbly through the rain coursing down her windshield, wondering if she were dreaming. There it really was, on the car in front of her, the truth of her life this year, the truth of everyone's life. 2020WTF.
by Monkey's Dad December 7, 2020
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formerly-known-as

Your X - or ex - with a nod to the convolutions of Twitter.
"Check out the babe."
"No need. ... She's my formerly-known-as"
"Sorry."
by Monkey's Dad November 2, 2023
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Suckerberg Mark

A person targeted by Facebook, who clicks on, answers and falls into every trap.
Clarence fit their profile, answering every bit of bait - the name of his first pet, where he'd met his partner, his favorite color. It was so much fun! Oreos! My first car? A Honda Civic! He was a permanent resident of Suckerberg, the perfect Suckerberg Mark. 'Wait wait, they're asking the last four digits of my SSN in reverse order! Only one in ten can do it! I'm a genius.'
by Monkey's Dad October 5, 2021
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eloqwince

The involuntary cringe when you realize you found the exact words for what should have gone unspoken. Often accompanied by a palm to the forehead.
Here it came again, the eloqwince in the night, remembering his superbly witty toast to the happy couple. Had he really made that joke about his history with the bride? How much would a one-way ticket on the space shuttle cost, he wondered.
by Monkey's Dad March 10, 2020
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underlying condition

A pre-existing medical issue that can increase a person's vulnerability to contracting coronavirus and/or dying from it.

Anything which renders someone less than optimally healthy, compromising their immunity.

Being human.
Just being alive felt like an underlying condition. Her asthma was an additional factor, she supposed, but each day she was getting news of yet another person coming down with corona. They were old, middle-aged, young, healthy or not.
by Monkey's Dad March 29, 2020
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verisimehlitude

A work of art so enslaved to the reality of its source that it elicits no response.
The sculptor had worked very hard to do this. His sculpture was exactly life-sized, colored and textured to precisely replicate the thing it was imitating, and, standing in the gallery, it looked like a living, breathing security guard. Except that it was not breathing, nor was it living, nor did anyone recognize it as a work of art. Or feel anything about it. Or pay it any mind. An example of craft for craft's sake, it had achieved a state of verisimehlitude.
by Monkey's Dad June 22, 2021
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Darnella Frazier

The young woman whose eyewitness video of the George Floyd killing by former police officer Derek Chauvin in Minneapolis on May 25, 2020, became a crucial artifact of American history.
Only 17 at the time, Darnella Frazier is to the Floyd killing what Abraham Zapruder was to the assassination of John F. Kennedy, an accidental bystander with a camera, a vital witness to an historic moment. Ms. Frazier's video of the arrest, which recorded Floyd's plea - I can't breathe - as Chauvin knelt on his neck for more than 9 minutes, sparked protests across the country. A witness at Chauvin's murder trial, Ms. Frazier expressed regret for not physically confronting Mr. Chauvin. “It’s been nights I stayed up apologizing and apologizing to George Floyd for not doing more and not physically interacting and not saving his life,” Ms. Frazier said.
by Monkey's Dad March 31, 2021
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