Monkey's Dad's definitions

nonline dating

Currently, the inadvisability of seeking a stranger online.

Her chronic belief that she'd discover a perfect man through the Internet was relegated, for the foreseeable future, to nonline dating.

by Monkey's Dad April 21, 2020

GFF

A feminine refinement of BFF, meaning GirlFriends Forever.

"Lauren and me have known each other since we were, like, little, and we are, like, GFF."

by Monkey's Dad August 22, 2021

Coronundrum

A pandemic with no clear solution.

As the months wore on, all hopeful answers leading to dead ends, coronavirus threatened to become an incurable coronundrum.

by Monkey's Dad April 26, 2020

Gender Reveal

An unsolicited photo of a person's genitalia. The politically correct term for what was long known as "indecent exposure", borrowed from the whole baby-coming-out-party idiocy.

She was neither shocked nor offended by Jared's sending her a dick pic an hour after their first date, as if he was unsure whether he was actually a man. She was fairly certain he was, and was not in need of the gender reveal.

by Monkey's Dad June 14, 2021

pins and noodles

A state of being highly agitated, yet feeling limp and boneless, anticipating a momentous event.

Sitting in the front row at the Oscars, watching as the envelope was slowly opened, waiting to hear her name called for Best Actress, she was on pins and noodles, wondering if she'd be able to walk to the stage or whether her legs would turn to spaghetti.

by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020

virologic

Deductive reasoning and common sense, pertaining to a virus.

Mandating that children and teachers be sent into the classroom, at the same moment people were legally forbidden to sit inside a restaurant, was a blatant and indefensible failure of virologic.

by Monkey's Dad July 19, 2020

gate

1) A new word, entered here, meaning the opposite of "negate". A positive counter to "negate's" negative. To gate is to affirm, verify, support, confirm, validate, agree.

Also...
2) A hinged barrier used to close an aperture in a wall, fence, or hedge.
3) A suffix denoting any kind of scandal, real or imagined - "Pizzagate" - following the 1972 Nixonian Watergate imbroglio, itself named for a Washington Hotel.

She entered the courtroom, confident that the DNA evidence, supported by eyewitness testimony, would gate her client's claim of innocence.

by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2021