Monkey's Dad's definitions

mentia

The inverse of dementia. A state of mental incline rather than decline. Having not only all one's marbles but too many.

He could remember every almost word he had ever read, could recount conversations verbatim from several decades earlier, knew the names of minor characters, and the actors who had played them, in movies he had never seen. He could remember the name of a person he had met in passing many years ago, while some of his contemporaries searched for the names of their nearest and dearest. The diagnosis was direct: He was suffering from early onset mentia.

by Monkey's Dad July 3, 2023

Kardashed expectations

Disappointment when the real world of 2020 does not keep up with the Kardashians.

Would like, Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, Kylie and Kendall ever, like, accept being canceled? It was rigged, fraudulent, they weren't leaving, and someone was gonna pay for her Kardashed expectations.

by Monkey's Dad September 9, 2020

trashionalization

Justifying the crushing of someone else's point of view, feelings, work or beliefs.

His trashionalization for demolishing her argument was easy. Family separation at the border was inhumane, and everyone else at the table knew it.

by Monkey's Dad March 7, 2020

front seat fracas

Self-contained road rage - the fight a couple has while driving, neither looking at the other, on a trip one of them really did not want to take.

She demanded to turn around and go home. He was determined to get to the guns and ammo exposition. It could only end in a massive front seat fracas.

by Monkey's Dad March 8, 2020

It's Not Easy Being Greene

Marjorie Taylor's lament and no doubt her future campaign theme song, in what's sure to be a groundbreaking presidential bid.

To anyone who thought she effortlessly nailed the Gazpacho Police stalking the halls of congress, compared mask mandates to the Holocaust, or informed the citizenry of the United States that America was officially a Christian Nationalist country, Marjorie, capitalizing on her uncanny resemblance to Miss Piggy, lured Kermit into harmonizing with her as they sang "It's not easy being Greene".

by Monkey's Dad July 29, 2022

Erfolgfreude

A strangely-nonexistent German word meaning "Taking pleasure in another person's success", the theoretical opposite of 'schadenfreude' - a word which has long existed in German and has migrated into English, meaning "Taking pleasure in another person's misery and suffering ".

Hearing that his colleague had won the Nobel, Schmidt was overcome with erfolgfreude and immediately called to offer his profound and heartfelt admiration.

by Monkey's Dad February 28, 2020

Repodemic

A pandemic, threatening to repossess the life and the world we thought we owned, because we didn't honor our end of the bargain.

So much that they had loved was gone, swiftly taken back in a massive repodemic.

by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020