Monkey's Dad's definitions
The space, literal and emotional, between yourself and another person, hoping for their safety and well-being, wishing you could be together when you are inescapably separated during the pandemic.
Unable to help in any way, hoping each day that she would remain well, wishing he could simply be where she was, the longing distance was at times unbearable.
by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020
Get the longing distance mug.An expression of the utmost dignity and grace, not to be mistaken for projection when used to characterize a perceived enemy.
“I don’t know what Kellyanne did to her deranged loser of a husband,” the president tweeted, “but it must have been really bad.”
by Monkey's Dad July 12, 2020
Get the deranged loser mug.She looked innocent, her blue eyes wide, and he never saw it coming, another taste of her criminally negligent humor. Sliding from the bed and falling to the floor, he begged, "Don't make me laugh! Please!" It was too late.
by Monkey's Dad March 26, 2023
Get the criminally negligent humor mug.When life could not feel any more weird, Jalapeño Noir is the name of the new Taco Bell wine, available only in Canada.
by Monkey's Dad September 15, 2020
Get the Taco Bell wine mug.An exceedingly rare quality, possessed by very few women, illuminated from within. Most of the world's celebrated beauties do not have it and cannot acquire it, as shown by their age-driven pursuit of cosmetic surgery, and the tragically self-erasing results. For a woman so blessed, it is simply a gift, immune to the passage of time.
She appeared to be ageless, radiant with transcendent beauty. Wherever they found themselves, she was the most beautiful woman in the room, not by degree but entirely in a class of her own. Strangers, both men and women, stared, sometimes approaching to comment. It was more than her exquisite proportions and facial symmetry. Paired with those things, it came from an inner quality of goodness. The man beside her was sometimes told that he was transcendentally lucky, which he knew to be true.
by Monkey's Dad December 5, 2023
Get the transcendent beauty mug.She struggled to understand how Andrew Cuomo was being classed alongside R. Kelly and Harvey Weinstein. When old grab-em-by-the-pussy-Trump had been given a pass, for God's sake??!! She wondered whether she and her friends had arrived at their #MehToo moment.
by Monkey's Dad March 2, 2021
Get the #MehToo mug.Empty streets, silent cities, people under legal edict to avoid others, with no sound more ominous than a simple cough, the world swiftly felt Coughkaesque.
by Monkey's Dad April 2, 2020
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