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Mike Payne's definitions

womb socket

Jason pulled over and offered to help a woman whose car broke down. After staring down her shirt the whole time she was checking the oil, he said "It looks like there's a problem with your womb socket. I ain't no mechanic, but I'd sure be happy to take a look."
by Mike Payne May 5, 2008
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turkey baster baby

After days of his wife's pleading to have another child so McGruff would have someone to play with, Jason grabbed a 30-pack out of the fridge, picked up the keys to his tractor, and told his wife to go get a turkey baster baby.
by Mike Payne April 3, 2008
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old squeaker

A highly-potent, silent-but-deadly fart that is allowed to escape in the workplace.
We thought Laurie's face was bright red because she had been fake-tanning again. However, upon stepping out into the front of the office it was apparent that Jason delivered another old squeaker.
by Mike Payne May 2, 2008
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marketing tacos

When a girl walks around with the zipper of her pants pulled down. This is the female equivalent of selling hotdogs.
Ania didn't know why Jason kept staring at her pants until she looked down and realized that she was marketing tacos.
by Mike Payne March 24, 2008
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switch

The word that is yelled when 2 guys are double-teaming a girl and they decide to change places.
When Jason and Joey got bored with Connie, they gave each other a hive five and yelled "Switch!"
by Mike Payne March 6, 2008
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goat rental

Leasing a goat for a giving period of time for the purpose of clearing an area of land.
The manager at the goat rental store suspected that Jason was lying about his rental goat running away when she saw the barbecue sauce stains all over his shirt.
by Mike Payne March 24, 2008
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cushion burner

When a woman is so bitchy you want to smash her face in the couch cushion and press as hard as you can while slam fucking her in the ass as hard as possible
When Sandra gave Jason the cold shoulder, he knew she was definitely a cushion burner.
by Mike Payne June 11, 2008
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