Mike Payne's definitions

cherry smuggler

A synonym of grape smuggler for the better-endowed.

By the way Jason strutted across the beach, you could tell that he considered himself a cherry smuggler.

by Mike Payne March 3, 2008

banana hammer

When a dude carries around a hammer in his pocket to give the impression that he has a perpetual erection.

When Jason pulled out his banana hammer, all Zee could say was "Wowwwww".

by Mike Payne March 5, 2008

emo

emo kids have long hair that cover their eye and face. they wear thick eye liner because they think it makes them look dark and deep. They wear disgustingly tight clothing because emo is one step below transvestite. Emo kids listen to emo music, in which the singer bitches about his shitty life and lost love, and they play the same shitty guitar chord progressions in every single song. emo kids are total and complete flaming homosexuals like the famous butt fucker mike payne. Nobody ever moves or dances at an emo show, they just stand on their and observe. emo kids have no real problems in life but they love to pretend like they do. they sit in the dark all day and cut themselves and then cry themselves to sleep at night. Nobody likes emo kids becuase they are incredibly annoying and they are complete faggots who have no soul and dont deserve to live.

look at those tight jeans and gay hair... that kid is so emo.

by mike payne July 30, 2008

turkey baster baby

A child produced through artificial insemination.

After days of his wife's pleading to have another child so McGruff would have someone to play with, Jason grabbed a 30-pack out of the fridge, picked up the keys to his tractor, and told his wife to go get a turkey baster baby.

by Mike Payne April 3, 2008

old squeaker

A highly-potent, silent-but-deadly fart that is allowed to escape in the workplace.

We thought Laurie's face was bright red because she had been fake-tanning again. However, upon stepping out into the front of the office it was apparent that Jason delivered another old squeaker.

by Mike Payne May 2, 2008

switch

The word that is yelled when 2 guys are double-teaming a girl and they decide to change places.

When Jason and Joey got bored with Connie, they gave each other a hive five and yelled "Switch!"

by Mike Payne March 6, 2008

cushion burner

When a woman is so bitchy you want to smash her face in the couch cushion and press as hard as you can while slam fucking her in the ass as hard as possible

When Sandra gave Jason the cold shoulder, he knew she was definitely a cushion burner.

by Mike Payne June 11, 2008