McCririck's unlucky Laundress's definitions
Noun: Short form of 'off licence'.
A British pub has an 'on' licence (licenced to sell intoxicating liquor for consumption ON the premises). They used to also have a little hatch where you could buy drink to take away and this had an 'off' licence. All such purchases had to be consumed off the premises.
Nowadays Britons buy their take-out booze in a shop which is unconnected to any pub. These shops have to apply for the same 'off licences' from local magistrates and have retained the name.
A British pub has an 'on' licence (licenced to sell intoxicating liquor for consumption ON the premises). They used to also have a little hatch where you could buy drink to take away and this had an 'off' licence. All such purchases had to be consumed off the premises.
Nowadays Britons buy their take-out booze in a shop which is unconnected to any pub. These shops have to apply for the same 'off licences' from local magistrates and have retained the name.
Look at the time! It's wifebeater o'clock. Should I go and drink sociably and responsibly with mature friends in the pub and then return home in a quiet, orderly fashion without vandalising or vomiting; or shall I go down the offie and buy some dangerous-looking lager, go home and get wankered - all sorry and lonesome; vandalise my own home and vomit in every room?
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the offie mug.She told me she loves it up the mud cupboard but I reckon it's just coz it's closing time and she still hasn't pulled anyone.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the Mud Cupboard mug.by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the blige mug.Noun: Term of abuse for someone who feigns being Irish when convenient. E.g. An entirely British person who in 1994, on realising that England had not made it to the soccer World Cup, had no one to cheer for and found green blood in their veins for as long as Republic of Ireland were still in with a chance.
What happened to your England shirt, you plastic paddy?
No, I'm Irish. Honest.
On which side?
Err... both. My Mum's cousin's got an Irish setter and my Dad was conceived in the County Kilburn. Guinness spritzer with a dash of Baileys please barman, cheers. Bejazus!
No, I'm Irish. Honest.
On which side?
Err... both. My Mum's cousin's got an Irish setter and my Dad was conceived in the County Kilburn. Guinness spritzer with a dash of Baileys please barman, cheers. Bejazus!
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the plastic paddy mug.All my material fell flatter than a witches tit last night - there was a big crowd of sausage munchers in - and now they've taken all the sun loungers.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the sausage muncher mug.New Zealand term of abuse for Britain, reflecting the terrifying, dangerous wasteland that it has become. Used by British expatriates who have moved to NZ. Pom = Australian & NZ slang for a British person + suffix suggesting Mongolia, windblown desert area of Asia, renowned for its banditry, unpleasant climate and remoteness from civilisation.
An Auckland conversation I overheard:
Gregg: Do you think you'll ever go back to the UK, Dad?
Gregg's dad: What? Pomgolia? Not fucking likely, not after last time. I'm leaving that disgusting shit hole behind me.
Gregg: Do you think you'll ever go back to the UK, Dad?
Gregg's dad: What? Pomgolia? Not fucking likely, not after last time. I'm leaving that disgusting shit hole behind me.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the Pomgolia mug.by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
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