McCririck's unlucky Laundress's definitions
She told me she loves it up the mud cupboard but I reckon it's just coz it's closing time and she still hasn't pulled anyone.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the Mud Cupboard mug.Noun: A bubble of blackened blood trapped under the skin, as is caused when one traps a web of skin in a mousetrap, hits it with a hammer or similar. White kids in the 1970s said it.
Adult: "Ouch! I've given myself a black man's pinch in the edge of that drop-leaf dining table."
Child: "That phrase is outdated and pejorative to black people. Please don't use it again."
Adult: "You're right. I'm sorry. What should I say instead."
Child: "Subcutaneous haematoma would be both the medically and politically correct term for such a contusion."
Adult: "Thank you for making me a better human being. By the way, what would be the medically and politically correct term for such a contusion as would be caused by a hefty clip round the ear?"
Child: "You appear to be condoning an act of physical abuse toward a minor. I'm calling Social Services."
Child: "That phrase is outdated and pejorative to black people. Please don't use it again."
Adult: "You're right. I'm sorry. What should I say instead."
Child: "Subcutaneous haematoma would be both the medically and politically correct term for such a contusion."
Adult: "Thank you for making me a better human being. By the way, what would be the medically and politically correct term for such a contusion as would be caused by a hefty clip round the ear?"
Child: "You appear to be condoning an act of physical abuse toward a minor. I'm calling Social Services."
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the black man's pinch mug.Noun: An American. Cockney rhyming slang: Sherman Tank - Yank. Real Cockney rhyming slang only uses the first word, which sounds nothing like the thing being referred to in the rhyme so secrecy is preserved.
I went to fight the sausage munchers and when I came back with my legs blown off my bird had been stolen by a fuckin' Sherman.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the Sherman mug.by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the blige mug.Noun: Term of abuse for someone who feigns being Irish when convenient. E.g. An entirely British person who in 1994, on realising that England had not made it to the soccer World Cup, had no one to cheer for and found green blood in their veins for as long as Republic of Ireland were still in with a chance.
What happened to your England shirt, you plastic paddy?
No, I'm Irish. Honest.
On which side?
Err... both. My Mum's cousin's got an Irish setter and my Dad was conceived in the County Kilburn. Guinness spritzer with a dash of Baileys please barman, cheers. Bejazus!
No, I'm Irish. Honest.
On which side?
Err... both. My Mum's cousin's got an Irish setter and my Dad was conceived in the County Kilburn. Guinness spritzer with a dash of Baileys please barman, cheers. Bejazus!
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the plastic paddy mug.Noun, plural: Women who are only ever seen in their chelsea tractors.
Works best when pronounced in the 'Jonathon Woss' estuarine english style so it sounds like an Essex person trying to say 'four-wheel-drives'.
Works best when pronounced in the 'Jonathon Woss' estuarine english style so it sounds like an Essex person trying to say 'four-wheel-drives'.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the four wheeled wives mug.Noun: Short form of 'off licence'.
A British pub has an 'on' licence (licenced to sell intoxicating liquor for consumption ON the premises). They used to also have a little hatch where you could buy drink to take away and this had an 'off' licence. All such purchases had to be consumed off the premises.
Nowadays Britons buy their take-out booze in a shop which is unconnected to any pub. These shops have to apply for the same 'off licences' from local magistrates and have retained the name.
A British pub has an 'on' licence (licenced to sell intoxicating liquor for consumption ON the premises). They used to also have a little hatch where you could buy drink to take away and this had an 'off' licence. All such purchases had to be consumed off the premises.
Nowadays Britons buy their take-out booze in a shop which is unconnected to any pub. These shops have to apply for the same 'off licences' from local magistrates and have retained the name.
Look at the time! It's wifebeater o'clock. Should I go and drink sociably and responsibly with mature friends in the pub and then return home in a quiet, orderly fashion without vandalising or vomiting; or shall I go down the offie and buy some dangerous-looking lager, go home and get wankered - all sorry and lonesome; vandalise my own home and vomit in every room?
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 2, 2005
Get the offie mug.