Skip to main content

McCririck's unlucky Laundress's definitions

Pengé

Proper noun: Frenchified form of Penge, a south London suburb which is full of pikeys and as rough as a badger's arse. It has recently enjoyed an influx of gentrifiers who are desperately talking the area up. If pronounced 'ponjay' (with a very soft 'j') an estate agent will add £2500 to the price of your crack den with a blocked toilet.
Laurent and Guy bake these oat-sprinkled baguettes every morning in their boulangerie in the bohemian quarter of Pengé.
Mmmm. Such a wealthy bouquet. Wait! They're identical to the ones I buy from Tesceaux in Croix Nouveau!
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress October 10, 2005
mugGet the Pengé mug.

Pomgolia

New Zealand term of abuse for Britain, reflecting the terrifying, dangerous wasteland that it has become. Used by British expatriates who have moved to NZ. Pom = Australian & NZ slang for a British person + suffix suggesting Mongolia, windblown desert area of Asia, renowned for its banditry, unpleasant climate and remoteness from civilisation.
An Auckland conversation I overheard:
Gregg: Do you think you'll ever go back to the UK, Dad?
Gregg's dad: What? Pomgolia? Not fucking likely, not after last time. I'm leaving that disgusting shit hole behind me.
mugGet the Pomgolia mug.

Mud Cupboard

Noun: Arse, rectum, bum cavity, etc.
She told me she loves it up the mud cupboard but I reckon it's just coz it's closing time and she still hasn't pulled anyone.
mugGet the Mud Cupboard mug.

four wheeled wives

Noun, plural: Women who are only ever seen in their chelsea tractors.
Works best when pronounced in the 'Jonathon Woss' estuarine english style so it sounds like an Essex person trying to say 'four-wheel-drives'.
So many four wheeled wives that I couldn't get my ambulance into the playground and the kid died.
mugGet the four wheeled wives mug.

strapadicktome

Noun: A ratchet tool for tightening and then cutting the surplus off nylon cable ties or 'straps' without leaving a sharp point protruding.
Familiar due to sounding a bit like 'appendectomy'. Phrase in use by employees of GEC in UK in 1980s.
Shouted the length of a telephone exchange or similar electrical engineering environment "Who's got my strapadicktome? I'll have to trim these with side cutters."
mugGet the strapadicktome mug.

sausage muncher

Noun: a German person. kraut fritz squarehead.
All my material fell flatter than a witches tit last night - there was a big crowd of sausage munchers in - and now they've taken all the sun loungers.
mugGet the sausage muncher mug.

plastic paddy

Noun: Term of abuse for someone who feigns being Irish when convenient. E.g. An entirely British person who in 1994, on realising that England had not made it to the soccer World Cup, had no one to cheer for and found green blood in their veins for as long as Republic of Ireland were still in with a chance.
What happened to your England shirt, you plastic paddy?
No, I'm Irish. Honest.
On which side?
Err... both. My Mum's cousin's got an Irish setter and my Dad was conceived in the County Kilburn. Guinness spritzer with a dash of Baileys please barman, cheers. Bejazus!
mugGet the plastic paddy mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email