Matt.....'s definitions

iPhone

A cell phone that adds "new" features once a year and calls them innovative. Most of these features are not new or innovative but rather common on other phones.

Apple: This new iPhone will have voice chat! You'll be able to connect on a totally new level you've never been able to experience before!
Sane person: Didn't Nokia, Palm, Motorola, and Sony all have this, like, 3 years ago?
Apple: ....NOT LIKE THIS! INNOVATION!

by Matt..... June 23, 2010

Cookbook

Any book that contains directions on how to make or "cook" a variety of substances, be it legal or not.

EX 1a: Hey John, where did you get that awesome salmon recipe?
EX 1b: I found it in this chef's cookbook.

EX 2a: How do I make the stock solution for a Nessler's reagent?
EX 2b: I dunno, check the cookbook.

EX 3: The local drug dealer was arrested and on the scene officers found a cookbook with instructions on how to make various narcotics.

by Matt..... January 20, 2011

Boomstick

The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

Alright you primitive screwheads - listen up! Ya see this? This... is my BOOMSTICK!

by Matt..... June 27, 2009

studying

If you're looking up this word there's a very high chance you should be studying yourself.

Rather than studying, Billy browsed the internet for 3 days and bombed his English 101 exam.

by Matt..... October 27, 2011

Lottery

False hope; a tease; an "easy way out" that can never be obtained.

Billy spent $100 on lottery tickets and didn't even win that much back.

by Matt..... August 23, 2008

Warwick

German bass guitar company. Warwicks use exotic woods, typically without finish, and unusual designs to achieve a more growling tone. Prices range from about $1,000 to over $10,000 for more limited release models. Also has a line of cheaper, lesser quality basses called "RockBass."

A Warwick Streamer Stage II will run you about $4800 for a 4 string model, whereas a Corvette Standard will only cost about $1200.

by Matt..... October 15, 2008

facebook

n. A social-networking site found on the interwebs. When a user registers they are able to add friends and join groups, similar to myspace. What was once a simple, unique site good for college students wanting to stalk each other, it has spread and grown to include high school kids who want to post pictures of them getting drunk, and later to include anyone who is an alumni from a university or high school.

Originally a person's page only showed their name, info, interests, etc. After numerous layout changes, you can now see what "actions" a person has made on the site, as well as add applications that serve no purpose other than to cause Java and Flash Player errors, and make the site more corny.

Despite all this, it is still commonly used for procrastination as well as stalking.

v. To facebook someone is to look them up and/or request they be your friend.

Frank: Hey, did you facebook me?
Betty: I tried, but there's so much crap on there now that it takes forever to load.
Random: Hey, did you guys check out the pictures I posted of my friends downing vodka and passing out on a couch? Man, college is great!

by Matt..... June 28, 2007