Matt.....'s definitions

Olympics

An sporting event originating in Greece as an honor to the gods. In more modern times it has become an international sporting contest were most of the world's countries participate every four years. The athletes selected to participate are their country's cream of the crop and represent their home nation with unparalleled pride. Being awarded a medal means you are one of the best athletes in the world. A pure and true athletic spectacle that has unfortunately received less popularity in recent years.

The true, original definition of athleticism originated at the ancient Olympics. Being allowed to represent your country is considered the ultimate goal for almost every athlete in the world.

by Matt..... October 4, 2008

Boomstick

The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

Alright you primitive screwheads - listen up! Ya see this? This... is my BOOMSTICK!

by Matt..... June 27, 2009

studying

If you're looking up this word there's a very high chance you should be studying yourself.

Rather than studying, Billy browsed the internet for 3 days and bombed his English 101 exam.

by Matt..... October 27, 2011

bench jockey

A negative way of describing someone in the scientific field who spends a vast majority of his or her time in front of a bench or lab station performing mundane and repetitive tasks. The typical entry level position for college graduates who enter a science job and how disgruntled lab techs refer to themselves. Those who do well are typically promoted to a supervisory or managerial position before going on to get an advanced degree such as an MBA or PhD.

Billy got a bachelors in biology and his first job was working as a low paid bench jockey.

Brian got a masters in biology but still had to start off as a higher paid bench jockey.

Sue got a bachelors in biology and like her colleagues had to start as a bench jockey. After a few years she left to get her MBA and now oversees all of her company's bench jockeys.

by Matt..... April 22, 2011

facebook

n. A social-networking site found on the interwebs. When a user registers they are able to add friends and join groups, similar to myspace. What was once a simple, unique site good for college students wanting to stalk each other, it has spread and grown to include high school kids who want to post pictures of them getting drunk, and later to include anyone who is an alumni from a university or high school.

Originally a person's page only showed their name, info, interests, etc. After numerous layout changes, you can now see what "actions" a person has made on the site, as well as add applications that serve no purpose other than to cause Java and Flash Player errors, and make the site more corny.

Despite all this, it is still commonly used for procrastination as well as stalking.

v. To facebook someone is to look them up and/or request they be your friend.

Frank: Hey, did you facebook me?
Betty: I tried, but there's so much crap on there now that it takes forever to load.
Random: Hey, did you guys check out the pictures I posted of my friends downing vodka and passing out on a couch? Man, college is great!

by Matt..... June 28, 2007

DFE

Short for Delete Fucking Everything, the act of deleting everything on a web page or hard drive in an attempt to avoid persecution, prosecution, and insult.

Billy: Oh shit, they're flaming my youtube page nonstop! Time to DFE!

by Matt..... October 24, 2009

Lottery

False hope; a tease; an "easy way out" that can never be obtained.

Billy spent $100 on lottery tickets and didn't even win that much back.

by Matt..... August 23, 2008