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Matt.....'s definitions

bench jockey

A negative way of describing someone in the scientific field who spends a vast majority of his or her time in front of a bench or lab station performing mundane and repetitive tasks. The typical entry level position for college graduates who enter a science job and how disgruntled lab techs refer to themselves. Those who do well are typically promoted to a supervisory or managerial position before going on to get an advanced degree such as an MBA or PhD.
Billy got a bachelors in biology and his first job was working as a low paid bench jockey.

Brian got a masters in biology but still had to start off as a higher paid bench jockey.

Sue got a bachelors in biology and like her colleagues had to start as a bench jockey. After a few years she left to get her MBA and now oversees all of her company's bench jockeys.
by Matt..... April 22, 2011
mugGet the bench jockeymug.

Lottery

False hope; a tease; an "easy way out" that can never be obtained.
Billy spent $100 on lottery tickets and didn't even win that much back.
by Matt..... August 23, 2008
mugGet the Lotterymug.

Vampire

1. In literature, media, and folklore, a "traditional" vampire is a demon who consumes blood of humans or animals for nourishment. Sometimes a human who has been bit by a vampire will transform into a vampire themselves. Vampires have a fear of anything holy, garlic, and the sun. Vampires have a child-like mentality, as they are unable to enter places or do certain things without permission, as was first addressed in Bram Stoker's "Dracula." Most commonly killed by a stake through the heart.

2. Any species of bat that consumes blood. Three types of vampire bats are the Common Vampire Bat (Desmodus rotundus), the Hairy Legged VB (Diphylla ecaudata), and the White-Winged VB (Diaemus youngi). They rarely attack humans and mostly consume blood from livestock or birds.

3. Any member of the goth subculture who thinks that listening to Norwegian death metal, dressing in long black clothing, and being a fan of vampire movies and/or blood will make them a full-fledged vampire. Refuse to believe that vampires are just the work of folklore. Can usually be seen outside Hot Topic, alone, as nobody will be their friend because they "don't want to associate with the living."
1. Bram Stoker's "Dracula" is considered the premiere text of vampire folklore.

2. Vampire bats are common in tropical climates, barns, and zoos.

3. This was an actual example from someone I met at the mall who was claiming to be a vampire. They became my "source," so to speak.
by Matt..... October 25, 2007
mugGet the Vampiremug.

DFE

Short for Delete Fucking Everything, the act of deleting everything on a web page or hard drive in an attempt to avoid persecution, prosecution, and insult.
Billy: Oh shit, they're flaming my youtube page nonstop! Time to DFE!
by Matt..... October 24, 2009
mugGet the DFEmug.

iPhone

A cell phone that adds "new" features once a year and calls them innovative. Most of these features are not new or innovative but rather common on other phones.
Apple: This new iPhone will have voice chat! You'll be able to connect on a totally new level you've never been able to experience before!
Sane person: Didn't Nokia, Palm, Motorola, and Sony all have this, like, 3 years ago?
Apple: ....NOT LIKE THIS! INNOVATION!
by Matt..... June 23, 2010
mugGet the iPhonemug.

mac user

Somebody who uses an Apple/Macintosh computer. There are two kinds of Mac users

1. The Mac user who uses a Mac because s/he has to. They probably work in the editing, developing, and/or scientific communities and use a Mac because the software that works best for what they do just so happens to run on OS X. Far less obnoxious than your stereotypical Mac user (see below) and while they may enjoy working on an Apple, they probably would probably switch to Windows or Linux without complaint if they needed.

2. Also known as a Mactard or a Macfag, these are the users who are obsessed to the point of cult-status. They buy Apple products because they're made by Apple, they spend all day bashing Windows because "Micro$oft is evil!" will try to convert everyone within eyesight to the cult of Mac, and go to bed after praying to Steve Jobs. Everything they do on a Mac they can do on Windows, but they don't want to be like everyone else so they choose what their former friends didn't use. If they had to use Windows, even for a minute, they'd gripe and complain the entire time.
1. "After you're done working on that mRNA strand in Geneious, drag and drop it into EnzymeX to find the right enzyme for that BON1 strand you took the RNA from."

2. "Yeah, I'm a Mac user, and I love it. You use Windows? Don't you know that Win-DOSE has over 100,000 viruses?! Switch to Apple, you won't get viruses, nor will you have to worry about adware or spyware or having to help Bill Gates buy another house! Also, look how pretty the graphics are! Sure, you can run Photoshop on Windows, and sure I use Microsoft Office on this, but they run sooooo much better on a Mac!"
by Matt..... February 27, 2007
mugGet the mac usermug.

Olympics

An sporting event originating in Greece as an honor to the gods. In more modern times it has become an international sporting contest were most of the world's countries participate every four years. The athletes selected to participate are their country's cream of the crop and represent their home nation with unparalleled pride. Being awarded a medal means you are one of the best athletes in the world. A pure and true athletic spectacle that has unfortunately received less popularity in recent years.
The true, original definition of athleticism originated at the ancient Olympics. Being allowed to represent your country is considered the ultimate goal for almost every athlete in the world.
by Matt..... October 4, 2008
mugGet the Olympicsmug.

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