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Matt.....'s definitions

bench jockey

A negative way of describing someone in the scientific field who spends a vast majority of his or her time in front of a bench or lab station performing mundane and repetitive tasks. The typical entry level position for college graduates who enter a science job and how disgruntled lab techs refer to themselves. Those who do well are typically promoted to a supervisory or managerial position before going on to get an advanced degree such as an MBA or PhD.
Billy got a bachelors in biology and his first job was working as a low paid bench jockey.

Brian got a masters in biology but still had to start off as a higher paid bench jockey.

Sue got a bachelors in biology and like her colleagues had to start as a bench jockey. After a few years she left to get her MBA and now oversees all of her company's bench jockeys.
by Matt..... April 22, 2011
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IRB

Short for "International Rugby Board," the world-governing body of rugby union. The IRB is responsible for international matches, rankings, and keeping team managers in check. Similar to FIFA except it's actually effective, not run by complete idiots and hires competent refs.
If it weren't for the IRB rugby would be a clusterfuck. Just like FIFA.
by Matt..... June 28, 2010
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Boomstick

The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
Alright you primitive screwheads - listen up! Ya see this? This... is my BOOMSTICK!
by Matt..... June 27, 2009
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studying

If you're looking up this word there's a very high chance you should be studying yourself.
Rather than studying, Billy browsed the internet for 3 days and bombed his English 101 exam.
by Matt..... October 27, 2011
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DFE

Short for Delete Fucking Everything, the act of deleting everything on a web page or hard drive in an attempt to avoid persecution, prosecution, and insult.
Billy: Oh shit, they're flaming my youtube page nonstop! Time to DFE!
by Matt..... October 24, 2009
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Vampire

1. In literature, media, and folklore, a "traditional" vampire is a demon who consumes blood of humans or animals for nourishment. Sometimes a human who has been bit by a vampire will transform into a vampire themselves. Vampires have a fear of anything holy, garlic, and the sun. Vampires have a child-like mentality, as they are unable to enter places or do certain things without permission, as was first addressed in Bram Stoker's "Dracula." Most commonly killed by a stake through the heart.

2. Any species of bat that consumes blood. Three types of vampire bats are the Common Vampire Bat (Desmodus rotundus), the Hairy Legged VB (Diphylla ecaudata), and the White-Winged VB (Diaemus youngi). They rarely attack humans and mostly consume blood from livestock or birds.

3. Any member of the goth subculture who thinks that listening to Norwegian death metal, dressing in long black clothing, and being a fan of vampire movies and/or blood will make them a full-fledged vampire. Refuse to believe that vampires are just the work of folklore. Can usually be seen outside Hot Topic, alone, as nobody will be their friend because they "don't want to associate with the living."
1. Bram Stoker's "Dracula" is considered the premiere text of vampire folklore.

2. Vampire bats are common in tropical climates, barns, and zoos.

3. This was an actual example from someone I met at the mall who was claiming to be a vampire. They became my "source," so to speak.
by Matt..... October 25, 2007
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iPhone

A cell phone that adds "new" features once a year and calls them innovative. Most of these features are not new or innovative but rather common on other phones.
Apple: This new iPhone will have voice chat! You'll be able to connect on a totally new level you've never been able to experience before!
Sane person: Didn't Nokia, Palm, Motorola, and Sony all have this, like, 3 years ago?
Apple: ....NOT LIKE THIS! INNOVATION!
by Matt..... June 23, 2010
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