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Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian's definitions

oh no... our table... it's broken!

When the parents begin fighting and yelling n shit and eventually they get so outrageously mad that the dad starts brutally hammering their coffee table out of pure rage. This phrase is how the child in the family would commonly respond after seeing the destroyed table.
Wife: I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NEGLECT!
Husband: SHUT UP OKAY, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Wife: YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS??? YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THIS FAMILY!!!!!!! ALL YOU DO ALL DAY IS SIT AROUND ON YOUR LAZY ASSโ€”
Husband: MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! *inflicts multiple frenzied blows against the fragile coffee table*
Wife: *inaudibly cries in the bedroom*
5 minutes of silence later
7 y/o son: *comes out of the room* oh no... our table... it's broken!
by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian November 13, 2021
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foam mattress

The best type of mattress hands down. Much superior to spring mattresses. Nothing can compare to a foam mattress when it comes to comfort. However when you buy a foam mattress you are also making the statement that sexy time isn't reserved in the bed anymore, this is more of a pro than a con really (vanilla sex = booorinng).
Jane and dane decided to get a foam mattress and did not regret it one bit. However it was impossible to fuck on it, so they did it on the floor instead.
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Sissy Slut

What the other two definitions said. However this term can also be used as an insult, either generally or specifically towards someone who evokes such qualities. Use at your own risk.
Person 1: I heard Tyler couldn't even handle being yelled at by his boss and left his office with tears in his eyes
Person 2: Dang what a sissy slut
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Definitional

The adjective form of definition. Used when one wants to talk about a word, term, or phrase in relation to its definition.
The word "set" with its 400-odd meanings proves that it punches above its definitional weight.
by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian October 15, 2017
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Big Comfy Couch

The Big Comfy Couch is a Canadian kids TV show that aired between 1992 to 2006. It is also occasionally used as a euphemism for Big Caucasian Cock.
Bf: Wanna come sit on my big comfy couch tonight?
Gf: Sure thing babe!
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The Left Can't Meme

Yeah.... no.

The real unequivocal truth is, people from either ends of the political spectrum can make equally dank AND also equally bad memes. To deny this fundamental truth is the equivalent of denying the existence of gravity.

Let's first drop the stereotypes and concede to the fact that there is not a sliver of evidence which suggests your political identity is linked to good/bad memes. That is rather determined by one's creativity. It is a fallacy to assume that memes and politics are mutually inclusive, unless the meme itself is explicitly about politics.

Some individuals are so obsessed with political dichotomy that they become oblivious that a more apparent and broader classification (or way of thinking) exists. For instance, not everyone is into crude humour. It's as simple as that.

If anything, there is a far larger distinction between age groups, than between leftists and rightists, with regards to our ability to create the dankest of the dank memes. Boomers are the only ones that can't meme due to being accustomed to a different techno-cultural climate, hence creating the REAL immutable law of the universe: "๐™—๐™ค๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ง๐™จ ๐™˜๐™–๐™ฃ'๐™ฉ ๐™ข๐™š๐™ข๐™š".
Person 1: The left can't meme!
Person 2: Wrong, the right can't meme!
Person 3: Neither of you are correct. Both the left and the right (assuming we're talking about people in general, and not collectively) are just as capable of creating good memes as they are capable of creating bad memes to the point that such occurrences which justify the "left can't meme" stereotype are merely by random chance.
Person 1: That's impossible! It was known since antiquity that the world revolves around a single immutable law, and that law is that the left can't meme!
Person 3: *chuckles softly* Well, my friend, it appears that you are mistaken. First of all, that is pure nonsense based off an unverified folklore. Second of all, it's actually a law that applies to the entire universe, and that law is ๐™—๐™ค๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ง๐™จ ๐™˜๐™–๐™ฃ'๐™ฉ ๐™ข๐™š๐™ข๐™š.
*Person 1, after hearing upon that phrase, suddenly collapses onto the ground and starts to have an epileptic seizure*
Person 3: Thot so.
*Person 2 is seen running way in the distance*
by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian September 15, 2022
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๐Ÿซฆ

You will probably only see a square for now on most phones, but when more devices get the latest emojis it will turn into a biting lip.
Me: Hey ๐Ÿซฆ๐Ÿซฆ
Her: Hi :)
Me: Oh, I guess you don't have that emoji yet, heh
by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian December 25, 2021
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