The law of wrong way states that: "While driving in the city, any missed or wrong turn and subsequent backtracking to find your original route will be met by frustratingly slow moving traffic and red lights at every intersection.
Many, if not all of these red lights will be Full-cycle red lights."
Many, if not all of these red lights will be Full-cycle red lights."
While trying to find the corporate building downtown, I missed my turn and ended up backtracking an extra 3 miles, through 4 busy intersections, while following two old ladies, a Vespa scooter and a garbage truck. The law of wrong way was in effect.
Needless to say, I missed the Boss's luncheon and didn't get the promotion. FML.
Needless to say, I missed the Boss's luncheon and didn't get the promotion. FML.
by Markwonder October 28, 2010
Shart philosophy seen on bathroom wall:
Here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance, went to fart and shit my pants.
Here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance, went to fart and shit my pants.
by Markwonder March 04, 2011
1. An award now given out frivolously.
2. An award given to President Barack Obama based on his first 17 days in office. The nomination deadline for the prize was 17 days after he took office.
3. An award given the President Barack Obama on the basis of the "hope" he inspires and what he "might" do while President.
2. An award given to President Barack Obama based on his first 17 days in office. The nomination deadline for the prize was 17 days after he took office.
3. An award given the President Barack Obama on the basis of the "hope" he inspires and what he "might" do while President.
by Markwonder October 09, 2009
While visiting Kopp's frozen custard shop in Milwaukee where smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin was on duty, Vice President Joe Biden was sampling some of the tasty treats.
Biden: "What do I owe you for the delicious custard?"
Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: “Don’t worry, it’s on the house. … Lower our taxes and we’ll call it even.”
Biden: “Why don’t you say something nice instead of being a Smart–ass all the time?”
Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: (Thinking) This motherfucker just lost my vote.
Biden: "What do I owe you for the delicious custard?"
Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: “Don’t worry, it’s on the house. … Lower our taxes and we’ll call it even.”
Biden: “Why don’t you say something nice instead of being a Smart–ass all the time?”
Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: (Thinking) This motherfucker just lost my vote.
by markwonder August 30, 2010
Usually an emotion expressed by those on the left of the political spectrum when they are confronted with an opinion or a situation that goes against their beliefs or ideals.
Hate towards Miss California Carrie Prejean because of her opinion on gay marriage.
Hate towards our men and women in uniform defending this country, especially anytime a Republican is in the White House.
Hate towards anybody making a decent living for themselves.
Bristol Palin's success on "Dancing with the Stars" brought out the worst kind of liberal hate.
Hate towards our men and women in uniform defending this country, especially anytime a Republican is in the White House.
Hate towards anybody making a decent living for themselves.
Bristol Palin's success on "Dancing with the Stars" brought out the worst kind of liberal hate.
by Markwonder December 09, 2010
The point at which the friendship with your sweetheart ends and becomes a business relationship.
The point at which you stop having fun and take on responsibility for yourself and your new wife.
The end of your life as you once knew it.
The point at which you stop having fun and take on responsibility for yourself and your new wife.
The end of your life as you once knew it.
Marriage is a lot like playing cards.
You start out giving a heart and a diamond, and end up wishing for a club and a spade.
You start out giving a heart and a diamond, and end up wishing for a club and a spade.
by Markwonder January 11, 2011
Would you rather have a threesome with your parents and nobody find out?
OR
Not have a threesome with your parents and have everybody think you did?
OR
Not have a threesome with your parents and have everybody think you did?
by markwonder November 16, 2010