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Markwonder's definitions

Shart

When you push too hard to fart and end up shitting your drawers.
Shart philosophy seen on bathroom wall:

Here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance, went to fart and shit my pants.
by Markwonder March 18, 2011
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Hypocrite

A hypocrite is someone who is critical of a certain practice when they themselves are engaging in the very same practice.
Anyone who supports illegal immigration in Arizona yet maintains locks on the doors of their homes and businesses to keep people from just walking in and taking anything they may need to make a better life for themselves or their families is a hypocrite.
by Markwonder May 14, 2010
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Slavery

An institution supported and perpetuated by the Democratic Party right before the civil war. It's true. Look it up.

When Republican Abraham Lincoln became President during the election of 1860 on a platform of ending slavery in the US, many of the slave owning southern Democratic State Officials opted to secede from the Union.

When Abraham Lincoln and the Republican Union finally defeated the Confederates in 1865, many southern Democrat landowners refused to respect the freedom to former slaves and formed the terrorist organization, the KKK.
Brainwashed Liberal: The Republican party hates people of color. They are all about keeping the poor man working in slavery. It's the Democratic party that is a friend of the black man.

Old School Republican: The Republican party is about personal responsibility. You get only what you've worked for and earned. If Democrats had their way they would tax us all into slaves of the government. Open a history book.
by Markwonder September 27, 2011
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Smart-ass

What Joe Biden thinks you are if you ask him to lower the U.S. citizens' tax burden.
While visiting Kopp's frozen custard shop in Milwaukee where smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin was on duty, Vice President Joe Biden was sampling some of the tasty treats.

Biden: "What do I owe you for the delicious custard?"

Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: “Don’t worry, it’s on the house. … Lower our taxes and we’ll call it even.”

Biden: “Why don’t you say something nice instead of being a Smart–ass all the time?”

Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: (Thinking) This motherfucker just lost my vote.
by markwonder August 30, 2010
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hipocrite

A hypocrite is someone who is critical of a certain practice when they themselves are engaging in the very same practice.
Anyone who supports illegal immigration in Arizona yet maintains locks on the doors of their homes and businesses to keep people from just walking in and taking anything they may need to make a better life for themselves or their families is a hipocrite.
by markwonder May 7, 2010
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Would you rather

A game where you are given a choice between two embarassing scenarios and you have to choose one.
Would you rather have a threesome with your parents and nobody find out?

OR

Not have a threesome with your parents and have everybody think you did?
by markwonder November 19, 2010
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Nobel Peace Prize

1. An award now given out frivolously.
2. An award given to President Barack Obama based on his first 17 days in office. The nomination deadline for the prize was 17 days after he took office.
3. An award given the President Barack Obama on the basis of the "hope" he inspires and what he "might" do while President.
The Nobel Peace Prize is yet another attempt to apologize for slavery.
by Markwonder October 9, 2009
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