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Markwonder's definitions

hipocrite

A hypocrite is someone who is critical of a certain practice when they themselves are engaging in the very same practice.
Anyone who supports illegal immigration in Arizona yet maintains locks on the doors of their homes and businesses to keep people from just walking in and taking anything they may need to make a better life for themselves or their families is a hipocrite.
by markwonder May 7, 2010
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Nobel Peace Prize

1. An award now given out frivolously.
2. An award given to President Barack Obama based on his first 17 days in office. The nomination deadline for the prize was 17 days after he took office.
3. An award given the President Barack Obama on the basis of the "hope" he inspires and what he "might" do while President.
The Nobel Peace Prize is yet another attempt to apologize for slavery.
by Markwonder October 9, 2009
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Marriage

The point at which the friendship with your sweetheart ends and becomes a business relationship.

The point at which you stop having fun and take on responsibility for yourself and your new wife.

The end of your life as you once knew it.
Marriage is a lot like playing cards.

You start out giving a heart and a diamond, and end up wishing for a club and a spade.
by Markwonder January 11, 2011
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Renig

The shift change at the downtown carwash.
Steve noticed that customers were complaining because the blacks were getting lazy and weren't paying proper attention to their assigned duties. It was obviously time to renig.
by markwonder August 21, 2009
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Wiseacre

That Emmet Wickersham is a real wiseacre, I tell you. I caught him stealing checkers off the board while I was looking at Lawrence Welk on the television set." "If he tries that just one more time, I'm calling the nurse."
by Markwonder August 30, 2010
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Would you rather

A game where you are given a choice between two embarassing scenarios and you have to choose one.
Would you rather have a threesome with your parents and nobody find out?

OR

Not have a threesome with your parents and have everybody think you did?
by markwonder November 19, 2010
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Smart-ass

What Joe Biden thinks you are if you ask him to lower the U.S. citizens' tax burden.
While visiting Kopp's frozen custard shop in Milwaukee where smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin was on duty, Vice President Joe Biden was sampling some of the tasty treats.

Biden: "What do I owe you for the delicious custard?"

Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: “Don’t worry, it’s on the house. … Lower our taxes and we’ll call it even.”

Biden: “Why don’t you say something nice instead of being a Smart–ass all the time?”

Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: (Thinking) This motherfucker just lost my vote.
by markwonder August 30, 2010
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