Mark H's definitions
When not used in a sexual sense, a "rim job" can refer to customizing the wheel rims of a car to make it look more spiffy and pimped out.
Girl's mom: Now where's little Susan at? I really hope she doesn't get into any "fleshy" situations with that new beau of hers!
Girl's dad: Why don't worry honey! She just went to her boyfriend's auto garage so he can give her a rim job!
Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary author since February 2004.
Girl's dad: Why don't worry honey! She just went to her boyfriend's auto garage so he can give her a rim job!
Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary author since February 2004.
by Mark H September 1, 2005

1. A phrase used to express that something will or will not happen. This expression alludes to the ages-old superstition that literally knocking on wood would ward off evil spirits.
2. To masturbate, said of males.
2. To masturbate, said of males.
(made-up scene from GTA San Andreas)
(at the beach)
Kent Paul: (ogling a hot girl come out of the water) Oi Maccer, just take a look at what just breezed out of the blue. That height, that arse, those jugs, those curves! Blimey if I'd be given the chance now I'd get to chuck my junk in that, knock on wood!
Maccer: Indeed man! Knock on wood, eh. Well alright then! *starts masturbating*
Kent Paul: No, jack-off Jimmy, not... ohh, *mumbles* fucking Northeners!
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Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary slang author since February 2004.
(at the beach)
Kent Paul: (ogling a hot girl come out of the water) Oi Maccer, just take a look at what just breezed out of the blue. That height, that arse, those jugs, those curves! Blimey if I'd be given the chance now I'd get to chuck my junk in that, knock on wood!
Maccer: Indeed man! Knock on wood, eh. Well alright then! *starts masturbating*
Kent Paul: No, jack-off Jimmy, not... ohh, *mumbles* fucking Northeners!
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Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary slang author since February 2004.
by Mark H October 10, 2005

by Mark H August 17, 2004

Ghetto slang acronym for the following phrases:
1. To Fuck Up
2. Totally Fuck Up
3. Too Fucked Up(or Totally Fucked Up)
4. Too Old For You
1. To Fuck Up
2. Totally Fuck Up
3. Too Fucked Up(or Totally Fucked Up)
4. Too Old For You
1. Yo biatch, gimme back d'ose G to da Bizzears 'fore I'm going TOFU yo trick ass self!
2. Ayyo, tonite I'm gonna TOFU dat niggapotamus fo' tryin ta sleep wit ma girl!
3. *crying* My momma's bernie, yo. Breast cancer. This is just TOFU!
4.
High School Kid 1: Yo mah dogg, our new english teacher be so dayum hot, I wanna be a man and make da bitch moooaaaan!
High School Kid 2: Nawww G, she being about 30 and you 18 years old, dat woman be TOFU!
2. Ayyo, tonite I'm gonna TOFU dat niggapotamus fo' tryin ta sleep wit ma girl!
3. *crying* My momma's bernie, yo. Breast cancer. This is just TOFU!
4.
High School Kid 1: Yo mah dogg, our new english teacher be so dayum hot, I wanna be a man and make da bitch moooaaaan!
High School Kid 2: Nawww G, she being about 30 and you 18 years old, dat woman be TOFU!
by Mark H September 7, 2004

Def 1: When something "makes baby Jesus cry," it means that that something is considered unpleasant, controversial, and/or evil by a certain person or group of people. Yes, and those people may include fundies, who are so into that Jesus thing.
Def 2: The term can also refer to something one may love and enjoy that another person or group may consider evil and/or unpleasant.
Def 3: Moreover, to "make baby Jesus cry" means to do anything(for pleasure or not for pleasure) that certain people consider unpleasant, controversial, and/or evil.
Def 2: The term can also refer to something one may love and enjoy that another person or group may consider evil and/or unpleasant.
Def 3: Moreover, to "make baby Jesus cry" means to do anything(for pleasure or not for pleasure) that certain people consider unpleasant, controversial, and/or evil.
Examples of things that make baby Jesus cry:
Def 1:
Wars, greed, sex, corruption, and power hungriness make baby Jesus cry.
George W. Bush makes baby Jesus cry.
9/11 really made baby Jesus cry.
AOL makes baby Jesus cry.
Bill Clinton's sex scandal with Monica Lewinsky made baby Jesus cry.
The most recent Star Wars Episode 1 and 2 movies sucked so bad, they made baby Jesus cry.
Def 2:
I really love Emperor, Dimmu Borgir, and alot of Norwegian black metal! Their music is so evily awesome it makes baby Jesus cry!
The sex that I had with that hot buxom girl last night was so passionately raw and wild, it made baby Jesus cry!
Def 3:
Timothy McVeigh really made baby Jesus cry when he bombed the Oklahoma Federal Building.
So did the terrorist hijackers on 9/11.
Tonight I am going to make baby Jesus cry by screwing that man's hot wife.
Def 1:
Wars, greed, sex, corruption, and power hungriness make baby Jesus cry.
George W. Bush makes baby Jesus cry.
9/11 really made baby Jesus cry.
AOL makes baby Jesus cry.
Bill Clinton's sex scandal with Monica Lewinsky made baby Jesus cry.
The most recent Star Wars Episode 1 and 2 movies sucked so bad, they made baby Jesus cry.
Def 2:
I really love Emperor, Dimmu Borgir, and alot of Norwegian black metal! Their music is so evily awesome it makes baby Jesus cry!
The sex that I had with that hot buxom girl last night was so passionately raw and wild, it made baby Jesus cry!
Def 3:
Timothy McVeigh really made baby Jesus cry when he bombed the Oklahoma Federal Building.
So did the terrorist hijackers on 9/11.
Tonight I am going to make baby Jesus cry by screwing that man's hot wife.
by Mark H July 20, 2004

1. I used to have a girlfriend who was an utter and complete veegee.
2. Hey check out all those idiot veegees from PETA marching down thinking any smart person in the world will convert to their cultist mentality.
2. Hey check out all those idiot veegees from PETA marching down thinking any smart person in the world will convert to their cultist mentality.
by Mark H July 17, 2004

(entering Fernando's room)
Jorge: So essay, what have you been up... *notices his friend Fernando's bed smashed in half due to some intense weight* ...holy shit man! What, did you have some sort of intimate sexual encounter with Queen Kong, or something?
Fernando: Naw man, but yes, my girlfriend Fatima(Get it? FAT-ima!) was here yesterday and she was letting me stick it to her. The combined weight of both of us was about 600 pounds and it was, well, too much for the bed to handle.
Jorge: (suddenly has a rather nauseating mental image of Fernando having sex with a morbidly obese porker who looks like a cross between Rosie O'Donnell and Jabba the Hutt)
Fernando: Um, dude what's wrong, you look a little pale.
Jorge: Um yeah guey, I uh... that menudo that I ate this morning uh... really had a bad effect on my system. Can I use your bathroom?
Fernando: Sure, dude.
Jorge: (goes to the bathroom and then loses his lunch in the toilet)
Mark H. Gracing UrbanDictionary with my vocabulary since February 2004.
Jorge: So essay, what have you been up... *notices his friend Fernando's bed smashed in half due to some intense weight* ...holy shit man! What, did you have some sort of intimate sexual encounter with Queen Kong, or something?
Fernando: Naw man, but yes, my girlfriend Fatima(Get it? FAT-ima!) was here yesterday and she was letting me stick it to her. The combined weight of both of us was about 600 pounds and it was, well, too much for the bed to handle.
Jorge: (suddenly has a rather nauseating mental image of Fernando having sex with a morbidly obese porker who looks like a cross between Rosie O'Donnell and Jabba the Hutt)
Fernando: Um, dude what's wrong, you look a little pale.
Jorge: Um yeah guey, I uh... that menudo that I ate this morning uh... really had a bad effect on my system. Can I use your bathroom?
Fernando: Sure, dude.
Jorge: (goes to the bathroom and then loses his lunch in the toilet)
Mark H. Gracing UrbanDictionary with my vocabulary since February 2004.
by Mark H December 20, 2004
