Mark H's definitions

Orangutan salad

A gorilla salad is a very thick and hairy brunette pubic area.

On the other hand, an orangutan salad is a more appropriate word for a very thick and hairy redhead pubic area(also known as a firecrotch).

While vacationing in Ireland, I made a fast and beautiful relationship with a sexy redheaded vixen. That is, until when I was going to chuck it in her I became very nervous about it when she showed me her scary-looking orangutan salad.





Mark H. Urban Addict since February 2004.

by Mark H December 3, 2004

asstronomer

A proctologist who is so very into his profession, quite likely because of himself being gay.

God I went to the proctologist today and man, he wouldn't finish checking my ass for 6 hours already! What an asstronomer! Next time I go see a proctologist, I should ask him if he's gay or else if he is I won't let him examine my ass.

by Mark H June 11, 2004

from Hell

Similarly used as "of doom," the phrase "from Hell" is an add-on that signifies what's wretched, horrible, abysmal, very bad, awful, infernal, etc. about something.

Getting his candy bar taken from his pocket by some brat kid. Then, getting his apartment burglarized. Then, getting erectile dysfunction while having sex with his very hot girlfriend. Then, getting dumped by his girlfriend. Then, getting dumped on by a flock of seagulls afterwards. Then, flunking the SAT. Then, getting fired from his job. Then, realizing he was too broke to pay his bills. Then, being forced from his apartment. Then, knowing that his mom had died from a heart attack. Then, knowing that his dad also died in a construction yard accident. Yep, for Mike that certainly was the day from Hell.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this as the closing finale to his day. Then, going back from the local bar to his cardboard shack in the alley wasted with the Virgin Mary wearing a bikini top and miniskirt and then waking up the next morning naked next to the disgusting 400-pound demonic beast-woman from Hell.





Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.

by Mark H August 21, 2005

pro-condom slogans

Catchy advertising slogans to use to promote the sale of condoms.

You can't go wrong if you shield your dong!

Before you deck her, cover your pecker!

While she gets in heat, package your meat!

Before undressing Venus, dress up your...

...you know what.

*rimshot*

by Mark H June 17, 2004

hung like a sperm whale

To be possessing an incredibly humongous and meaty penis that is also complete with rather large testicles behind it.

If you have ever played the video game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and have also have played the part where you(as Tommy Vercetti) get to run a porn film studio, you may also remember this quote from the porn film director(when he talks to the female porn star Candy Suxxx) you were working with:

"Oh COME ON darling! He's hung like a sperm whale for pity's sake, how can you not feel the part?!"





Mark H. Contributing to the universal English sexual slang vocabulary on UrbanDictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H May 4, 2005

plug her up

To engage in the sex act of double penetration(or DP for short), which is when two men simultaneously insert their penises into the woman's vagina and anus. This term can also refer to when three men bang the chick the same way, with the third man inserting his penis into her mouth(getting her to be airtight).

And for your information, there actually exists a porn movie that was named "Plug Her Up" and that movie is all about double penetration as well.

When Nick D and Simon scored two fit birds by pulling the beirut trick, they were both dissapointed when one of the girls had left because she was simply not in a very good mood, so they had no choice but to share the remaining one girl, take her upstairs, and plug her up real nice and good.





Mark H. Bringing more sexual lingo to UrbanDictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H November 1, 2004

Cape Cod League

Also known as "bush league." This is the lowest class of women on the farm team system who do not even merit a 1 on their appearance. In other words, these women would be very ugly and weather beaten and are generally avoided like the plague by most right-minded men looking for a significant other or just a fuck buddy to share their lives with.

Dave: Hey guys, meet my new girlfriend Fatima.
*disgusting 600-pound porker walks in with her footsteps almost sounding like she could make the ground shake*
Mike: WHAT THE?!!
Richard: Oh shit...
Eric: So um, where you from? Boston?
Fatima: (bellowing) Why do you ask?
Eric: Well um, you remind me of this girl I met in uhhh... Cape Cod.
Fatima: WHAAT?! Are you calling me Cape Cod League?! You're DEAD little man!
Eric: Oh no!!! *gets thrown through window*
Fatima: I may be a bit healthy, but check this out! *flashes everyone; rolls upon rolls of blubber flop out*
Richard: For the love of God...
Mike: I share that feeling man.
Dave: More cushion for the pushin' baby! Awwwww riiiight!





Mark H. UD contributer since February 2004.

by Mark H April 29, 2005