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Mark H's definitions

shove a sock in it

A known way of telling someone to just please shut the fuck up for christ's sake. When you say "Shove a sock in it!" to someone, you are implying that he or she needs to put a sock in his/her mouth to keep him/herself from talking more shit.
(You are laying on your bed relaxing and having a few beers to the point of getting a little drunk while all of a sudden, your little brother bursts in the room acting like a retard and spewing out stupid jokes from his mouth.)

You:(in a somewhat drunken voice) For fuck's sake please *hic* SHOVE A SOCK IN IT!
Your little brother: (shoves a dirty sock down your throat)





Mark H. Adding more terms for "Shut up!" at UrbanDictionary since February 2004.
by Mark H October 18, 2004
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skeeball

(v.) To fall on your nuts while on a slippery surface and then slide across the surface while still positioned on your nuts.
(Winter Olympics male figure skating event)

Announcer: ...and there goes Mark with his signature mooove... *jump* *slip* *THUD* *slide* *WHAM* Owww! My goodness! Not only did he fell, he landed on his organs of manhood and then skeeballed across the ice and straight into the wall! Now that really has got to hurt! Well, there goes Mark's third chance to go for gold along with his ability to reproduce!

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Mark H. Proud UrbanDictionary Slang Author since February 2004.
by Mark H August 30, 2006
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Florida Orange Juice Surprise

Somewhat like a Cincinatti Surprise, except that you urinate into a balloon rather than defecate into a pillow case. You then throw the piss-filled balloon(like a water balloon) at someone and then watch as it bursts splattering the piss all over his/her face.
That mime was really boring and getting on everyone's nerves, so I've decided to pull the ol' Florida Orange Juice Surprise on him and watch as his white makeup gets totally ruined, his costume getting stained with piss, and everyone mocking, deriding, and laughing at him.
by Mark H August 24, 2004
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astrosexual

1. Someone who constantly uses the sexual lubricant Astroglide while getting laid.
2. Someone who enjoys having sex while he or she is under the influence of drugs.
1. Vicky: (naked on her bed) Hey honey are you ready yet?
Brad: (in the restroom getting undressed) Yeah baby, but just hold on one second. *rubs a bunch of Astroglide on his penis while muttering to himself* Woohoo! I'm gonna fuck this bitch into orbit!

2. Jenna: Alright, baby now that we are both naked, you know what we should do before foreplay.
Jason: Hell yeah, so we are gonna feel like we're actually making love like we are far up above in the heavens! *dishes out the joints and LSD*
by Mark H September 16, 2004
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Jitz

1(noun).Shortened form of the word "Jujitsu" or "Jiu-Jitsu," which is a Japanese type of martial arts.

2(verb).To beat up someone by means of using the intuitive skills and knowledge of Jujitsu.

3(noun).A nickname for any Japanese person who has the letters "jitsu" in his/her name, as in "Fujitsu."
1. I am such a wuss at school and I'm always getting picked on. I should learn some Jitz to teach those bastards a lesson.

2. Yesterday at school, I totally jitzed that fucker up! You should have seen him laying in the pissoir with a bloody face and 3 broken ribs!

3. Oh god, now if I lose those important documents, the Jitz will fire me and leave me out in the street!
by Mark H August 14, 2004
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Eskimo ass pie

Humorous slang reference to any wad of frozen human feces most likely found outside during freezing cold weather in some area in the wilderness where someone took a shit. A play on the name of that tasty ice cream bar we all know and love.
Damn, while we were in the Canadian wilderness, Mark was getting his ass pwned in that awesome snowball fight until he found an Eskimo ass pie while he was down on the ground and splatted Frank in the face with it as Frank moved in to finish Mark off! Man, Mark was such a sick fuck to do that, but at least Frank got what he deserved and was made the laughing stock of the entire camp.

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Mark H. Providing UD definitions for a snowy day since February 2004.
by Mark H November 3, 2006
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like your ass is on fire

A way to describe how you run when you are very much in a hurry to get to one place, person, or thing, or to get away from something or someone or to leave your current location.
1. "Dude you're telling me you have the beer shits? Hurry up, run like your ass is on fire, and find a poopalorium before you'll end up in the biggest embarrassment of your life!"

2. When LCpl. William alligator armed the grenade he tried to throw at a group of Iraqi insurgents and it fell six feet short of him, he knew he had to take off running like his ass was on fire to avoid being sent home in a coffin draped in his own country's flag, being injured for life, or worse, being buried like a dead animal by the insurgents he was combating with.





Mark H. UD contributer since last February.
by Mark H April 6, 2005
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