Mark H's definitions

can't hit the broad side of a barn

To have very poor aim. This hyperbolic term is usually used to denote poor marksmanship or to have very poor aim in certain activities that involve throwing something(such as certain sports).

1. While we were out hunting, Mitch was a very poor shot and couldn't even hit the broad side of a barn, and so when he ran out of ammo, he ultimately got Roy Horn'ed by the deer he kept trying to shoot dead.

2. Damn, Mark is such a mark-ass pitcher! He can't even hit the broad side of a barn, let alone strike anyone out. His pitches make even Rafael Palmeiro's erectile dysfunction reach out for a glorious grand slam!





Mark H. On Urban Dictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H March 1, 2005

Orangutan salad

A gorilla salad is a very thick and hairy brunette pubic area.

On the other hand, an orangutan salad is a more appropriate word for a very thick and hairy redhead pubic area(also known as a firecrotch).

While vacationing in Ireland, I made a fast and beautiful relationship with a sexy redheaded vixen. That is, until when I was going to chuck it in her I became very nervous about it when she showed me her scary-looking orangutan salad.





Mark H. Urban Addict since February 2004.

by Mark H December 3, 2004

space suit

Slang term for a condom. Especially one that is meant to provide better protection using the latest advancements in medical technology. And of course this has nothing to do with the protective gear that astronauts wear while walking and performing tasks in space.

Doctor: Okay now Ron, I am going to have you volunteer you to try out the experimental Adonis 9000 Smart Condom. Created using the latest advancements in nanotechnology, the Adonis 9000 has built in nanofibers and nanowiring that are intended to actually provide more pleasure while offering more protection. It's also supposed to feel like a real skin penis and it also supposed to work like an extra foreskin.

Ron Jeremy: Umm, alright sure Doc I'll be happy to try it out. *feminine moaning in the background* Honey, just relax! I know how horny you are, but just hang on to your cheeseburger(vagina) while I put this space suit on!

Doctor: Thank you Ron! But remember to take it off before ejaculating!

Ron Jeremy: I will, Doc.

*moments later, Ron and his female sex partner have finished doing their thing and Ron goes back to the doctor to tell him the results*

Ron Jeremy: (holding up his experimental condom)Holy shit this baby does work! My orgasms and her orgasms are much more intense!

Doctor: I am proud of you Ron! And my invention!

by Mark H September 5, 2004

weegee board

An ouija board. The game played on it is a fortune-telling game that is thought to bring demonic possesion down on certain people who play it.

Ouija player 1: Aww shit, dis weegee board be givin me the creeps, yo.
Ouija player 2: F-fff-fo shizzz-le mah nizz-zz-le. *shivers*
Ouija player 3: Y'all quit being pussies and move tha damn thing!

by Mark H June 17, 2004

fly

The Mexican national bird.

Awww shit, a fly just landed in my pizza!

by Mark H October 10, 2004

horizontal exclamation mark

Yet another witty slang term referring to an erect penis(stiffy; woodie; hard-on; boner).

Damn, Mark was so fixated on the hot stripper at the club that he didn't notice that his barn door was open, and his 7-inch long horizontal exclamation mark was sticking out in front of the whole world!





Mark H. Proud UrbanDictionary Author since February 2004.

by Mark H July 9, 2005

car-rape

To run over someone with your car.

1. Moments after I was fired from my job and was totally pissed off for it, I saw my boss walk across the parking lot, quickly got into my Mustang, and then car-raped his sorry bitch ass.

2. Fred Durst needs to be car-raped for being a total shitstain in America's rock music scene.





Mark H. Contributing to Urban Dictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H October 15, 2004