Mark H's definitions

heaved hoe

A hoe that spends all day lying naked on her bed(or some other soft surface) masturbating and looking all used up, because of all the nymphomania she has gotten from fucking countless men throughout most of her life as a young woman.

The term "heaved" means fucked once so many times to the point of extensive use and has absolutely nothing to do with the phrase "heave ho," which sailors use as a command for pulling something, such as a rope, cable, or fishing net.

Daaaayum, won't dat bitch get up, stop jillin off and do sumthin' productive? Fo sheezy, someone call a doctor to get dat heaved hoe on rehab!

by Mark H August 31, 2004

can't hit the broad side of a barn

To have very poor aim. This hyperbolic term is usually used to denote poor marksmanship or to have very poor aim in certain activities that involve throwing something(such as certain sports).

1. While we were out hunting, Mitch was a very poor shot and couldn't even hit the broad side of a barn, and so when he ran out of ammo, he ultimately got Roy Horn'ed by the deer he kept trying to shoot dead.

2. Damn, Mark is such a mark-ass pitcher! He can't even hit the broad side of a barn, let alone strike anyone out. His pitches make even Rafael Palmeiro's erectile dysfunction reach out for a glorious grand slam!





Mark H. On Urban Dictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H March 1, 2005

Orangutan salad

A gorilla salad is a very thick and hairy brunette pubic area.

On the other hand, an orangutan salad is a more appropriate word for a very thick and hairy redhead pubic area(also known as a firecrotch).

While vacationing in Ireland, I made a fast and beautiful relationship with a sexy redheaded vixen. That is, until when I was going to chuck it in her I became very nervous about it when she showed me her scary-looking orangutan salad.





Mark H. Urban Addict since February 2004.

by Mark H December 3, 2004

car-rape

To run over someone with your car.

1. Moments after I was fired from my job and was totally pissed off for it, I saw my boss walk across the parking lot, quickly got into my Mustang, and then car-raped his sorry bitch ass.

2. Fred Durst needs to be car-raped for being a total shitstain in America's rock music scene.





Mark H. Contributing to Urban Dictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H October 15, 2004

Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis

The world's longest band name, belonging to a Mexican grindcore/goregrind band that has recently started to gain recognition among the underground extreme music scene. This band consists of two insane Mexican guys, one who is the guitarist/vocalist, and the other one who is the drummer. Last year, they have released their debut album, "Satyriasis and Nymphomania," which is known among listeners for its very gruesome cover art, very long song titles, and the songs themselves, which talk about a combination of gore, disease, cadavers, and bizzare sexual acts/perversions.

And yes this band does exist. Do a search on Google for "Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis" and you'll get many results that relate to the band itself. Also, if you are a fan of extreme gory and perverted music, you might want to check out the album "Satyriasis and Nymphomania.

Guy 1: Dude, have you ever listened to the album "Satyriasis and Nymphomania" by that one Mexican band with the really long-ass fucking name that nobody can pronounce that starts with a P?
Guy 2: Yeah that is some sick and yet awesome stuff! Parradoctismuproctismimucosis, or whatever that band's called?
Guy 1: Yeah I know it is so friggin amazing, and I'll give 1$ to the person who can actually memorize the spelling of the band's name, an extra $5 if he can actually pronounce it, and $20 more if he knows what the name actually means.
Guy 2: Damn straight and I bet only someone with a medical degree can figure out the name's meaning.

by Mark H July 15, 2004

hoepopotamus

A very fat and grossly overweight hoe, slut, bitch, whatever you'd want to call her.

One of the signs that indicate that the world's going to end soon, is waking up the next morning only to notice some ugly smothering hoepopotamus lying next to you like a beached whale and then being shocked to having realized that you've actually got her pregnant!

by Mark H September 1, 2004

horizontal exclamation mark

Yet another witty slang term referring to an erect penis(stiffy; woodie; hard-on; boner).

Damn, Mark was so fixated on the hot stripper at the club that he didn't notice that his barn door was open, and his 7-inch long horizontal exclamation mark was sticking out in front of the whole world!





Mark H. Proud UrbanDictionary Author since February 2004.

by Mark H July 9, 2005