Mark H's definitions

Cape Cod League

Also known as "bush league." This is the lowest class of women on the farm team system who do not even merit a 1 on their appearance. In other words, these women would be very ugly and weather beaten and are generally avoided like the plague by most right-minded men looking for a significant other or just a fuck buddy to share their lives with.

Dave: Hey guys, meet my new girlfriend Fatima.
*disgusting 600-pound porker walks in with her footsteps almost sounding like she could make the ground shake*
Mike: WHAT THE?!!
Richard: Oh shit...
Eric: So um, where you from? Boston?
Fatima: (bellowing) Why do you ask?
Eric: Well um, you remind me of this girl I met in uhhh... Cape Cod.
Fatima: WHAAT?! Are you calling me Cape Cod League?! You're DEAD little man!
Eric: Oh no!!! *gets thrown through window*
Fatima: I may be a bit healthy, but check this out! *flashes everyone; rolls upon rolls of blubber flop out*
Richard: For the love of God...
Mike: I share that feeling man.
Dave: More cushion for the pushin' baby! Awwwww riiiight!





Mark H. UD contributer since February 2004.

by Mark H April 29, 2005

Union Jack

1. The British flag.
2. Another name for masturbating(jacking off) in a group, such as in a circle jerk.

After helping to win the Revolutionary War, the 5 gay American soldiers celebrated by having a union jack on the Union Jack.

-----------
Mark H. Active participant on UrbanDictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H June 11, 2006

hung like a sperm whale

To be possessing an incredibly humongous and meaty penis that is also complete with rather large testicles behind it.

If you have ever played the video game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and have also have played the part where you(as Tommy Vercetti) get to run a porn film studio, you may also remember this quote from the porn film director(when he talks to the female porn star Candy Suxxx) you were working with:

"Oh COME ON darling! He's hung like a sperm whale for pity's sake, how can you not feel the part?!"





Mark H. Contributing to the universal English sexual slang vocabulary on UrbanDictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H May 4, 2005

Eat my shit!

An even more vulgar alternative to saying "Kiss my ass!" when you are really pissed off at someone who did something to you that you didn't like, or when you can't think of a more original and witty comeback to use on someone who's insulting and/or threatening you. When you say this, you either may or may not attempt to make that person do said action.

(scene from Nick D's mid high school years in which he was a badass black gangsta kid who got all da bitchez and was a pain in the ass among the school faculty, staff, and administration)

Principal: Well Nick you have been a chronic problem for a while now. Disrupting the learning enviroment by being a wiseass in class, bullying kids whom you consider lesser forms of human beings, getting into fights, offering drugs, and there have even been rumors of you engaging in some secret sexual activity with your so-called "girlfriends." For all of these atrocities, I am to take you down a peg or two by placing you in strict detention for the remainder of THIS YEAR! You get the point, huh son? HUH!?
Young Nick D: Eat my shit!
Principal: Well then you are expelled from this school FOREVER!! Officer, please escort this young man out of school. We'll make sure he'll never come back to cause more trouble.
*school resource officer grabs and drags Nick D away while Nick struggles and says "Fuck you, you narc-ass pig!" therefore making the cop pull out his Taser...*

_______________________

(Mark H is using the men's room to drop a huge-ass deuce when he becomes suddenly startled upon seeing a fat middle-aged man wearing all pink climb into his stall and threaten him with the intention of brutal rape)
Fat guy: (in a southern accent) Well, lookee what we have here! You shoulda been more carefull in yer choice of stall! Look what I scribbled on the wall beside you.
Mark H: *turns around and sees the message "Free hot gay sex! Come here at 5:30 pm to suck my Texas-sized shlong and get your shit rammed in the wrong direction!" scrawled on the wall beside him in the stall.*
Mark H: (checking his watch to find out that is already 5:30 pm) *Gulp!*
Fat gay guy: Yeah that's right ya yellow-bellied dolly Mexican boy!*smirking with his mouth full of rotten teeth* Aint no way out for ya here! Yer my bitch now an' I'm gunna pin you down an' unfurl the tripod on yer chilli can!
Mark H: Well then eat my shit, you worthless fudge packer! *brutally struggles with the obese gay man, finding him to be a piss-poor brawler and then ultimately judo-flipping him head-first into the toilet*





Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.

by Mark H February 23, 2005

hunt for pink october

A search for anything that is sex-related, such as the following things:

1. Porn
2. Pussy (a vagina is often referred to as the pink)
3. Prostitutes
4. Gay or Lesbian lovers (the color pink is often associated with homosexuality)

Has absolutely nothing to do with some 1990 war movie starring Sean Connery that has a similar name(The Hunt for Red October).

1. I am so fucking horny, I am gonna get online on a hunt for pink October.

2. Or better yet, I should go to the local whorehouses and strip joints and get on a REAL hunt for pink October.

3.Jimmy: Owww man! It itches.
Robert: Now you see. How many times did I tell you to keep your guard up whenever you're on the hunt for pink October in the Red Light District?

4. Ever since Carl came out of the closet about a year ago, he's been on a constant hunt for pink October! How many assmates has he now had? 50?

by Mark H September 21, 2004

nether regions

The area between a person's(male and female) legs; the crotch, the groin, the area where reproduction and the removal of bodily wastes occurs.

1.During cheerleading practice, while Jennifer was performing a cartwheel and the crotch of her outfit accidently slipped aside revealing her nether regions, little did she realize that Mick, who was jogging on the track nearby, caught sight of her wardrobe malfunction and suddenly had the irresistable urge to chuck it in her.

*a few days later...*

2.When poor ol' Mick accidently dropped the soap while using the prison shower, he had to bend over to pick it up, but this put his ass and nether regions into view, giving the other boys upstate a grand opportunity to tailpipe him and ram his shit in the wrong direction.




Mark H. Posting definitions on UD since last February.

by Mark H February 14, 2005

bedroom eyes

That sensual seductive-looking glance that you (whether you are male or female) express when you are in a mood for something romantic and/or sexual.

1. The stripper greeted me with bedroom eyes when I was handing her my money.

2. When I saw my girl for the first time in a skimpy nightgown, we gave each other bedroom eyes and proceeded to make some lovin'.

by Mark H August 3, 2004