Mark H's definitions

assmate

A homosexual lover. Also known as "butt buddy."

I heard rumors that Chuck skipped college today because he's gone off to the local bath house with his assmates.

by Mark H July 15, 2004

asstronomer

A proctologist who is so very into his profession, quite likely because of himself being gay.

God I went to the proctologist today and man, he wouldn't finish checking my ass for 6 hours already! What an asstronomer! Next time I go see a proctologist, I should ask him if he's gay or else if he is I won't let him examine my ass.

by Mark H June 11, 2004

from Hell

Similarly used as "of doom," the phrase "from Hell" is an add-on that signifies what's wretched, horrible, abysmal, very bad, awful, infernal, etc. about something.

Getting his candy bar taken from his pocket by some brat kid. Then, getting his apartment burglarized. Then, getting erectile dysfunction while having sex with his very hot girlfriend. Then, getting dumped by his girlfriend. Then, getting dumped on by a flock of seagulls afterwards. Then, flunking the SAT. Then, getting fired from his job. Then, realizing he was too broke to pay his bills. Then, being forced from his apartment. Then, knowing that his mom had died from a heart attack. Then, knowing that his dad also died in a construction yard accident. Yep, for Mike that certainly was the day from Hell.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this as the closing finale to his day. Then, going back from the local bar to his cardboard shack in the alley wasted with the Virgin Mary wearing a bikini top and miniskirt and then waking up the next morning naked next to the disgusting 400-pound demonic beast-woman from Hell.





Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.

by Mark H August 21, 2005

pro-condom slogans

Catchy advertising slogans to use to promote the sale of condoms.

You can't go wrong if you shield your dong!

Before you deck her, cover your pecker!

While she gets in heat, package your meat!

Before undressing Venus, dress up your...

...you know what.

*rimshot*

by Mark H June 17, 2004

Strapping Young Lad

An awesome Canadian heavy metal band led by vocalist and head musician Devin Townsend, which consists of very heavy guitar riffage, intense drumming, and spectacularly angry lyrics shouted by Devin himself. Their album "City" which was released in 1997, is their most famous work and really something to listen to whenever you're pissed off and want to rebel against society's moral boundaries.

Forget Korn and Slipknot. All you "nu-metal" kids should listen to SYL's "City" album to know how REAL pissed-off metal should sound like!

by Mark H June 15, 2004

astrodome

A penis that's wider than it is long; a chode.

Because a chode is kinda shaped like the Houston Astrodome or any similar-looking stadium.

Even though I can't fit it into her ass or pussy, my girl really loves to suck on my Astrodome.

by Mark H September 17, 2004

Cincinnati Meteor Shower

A Cincinnati meteor shower is an antisocial act in which when you take a big sack of shit to the rooftop of a high-story building and then from there you proceed to unload the sack down on an unsuspecting crowd of people, raining the shit down on their heads and causing chaos and humiliation everywhere.

A Cincinnati meteor shower is the most extreme form of a Cincinatti surprise.

The antiwar protestors gasped in horror when they suddenly became the victims of the dreaded Cincinnati Meteor Shower.

by Mark H September 19, 2004