Mark H's definitions

all bark and no bite

A commonly-used idiom. When someone is "all bark and no bite," it means that he or she is either:

1. Threatening to do something to you, but is not really willing to do it.

OR

2. Acting all tough, intimidating, and agressive, but is too cowardly and chicken and/or also not strong enough to be willing to even throw one single punch at you.

This idiom is so called, because these kinds of people are likened to dogs who keep barking at you to try to make you afraid, but are actually not going to bite you.

In the projects, Jamal (who is short, skinny and kinda smart) is having a confrontation with Tyrone (who is a large and obese niggapotamus and a bit dumb as well) over a bag of crack rock and a cheap (but VERY attractive) prostitute.

Tyrone: "You gotta be kidding me, bitch! I am all jonesing for this shit right here like a kid in a candy store when all of a sudden, some rhesus monkey from down the block tries to run up my quality time!"
Jamal: "Shove a sock in it, fool! This be my quality time and I am the one who's gonna chuck it in her! Get anywhere near her and my crack rock, and you'll be lying bernie in a pool of your own blood and cellulite!"
Tyrone: "*laughs hysterically* You!? Some half pint threatening to blast a gat on me?! Where's yo gat anyway? *laughs some more* All bark and no bite! *puts on spiked brass knuckles*"
Jamal: "You one stupid ass nigga, you know! Glad I got my spazz by my side! *Jamal quickly pulls out his shotgun from underneath his trenchcoat(where Tyrone doesn't notice it) and points it at Tyrone* Now who's all bark and no bite now, BITCH!"
Tyrone: *soils his pants and runs home crying*
Jamal: *takes the crack rock*
Jamal: (to the girl) Alright baby, now let's go back to my place and hit the sack. I've got everything you want and everything you need.





Mark H. UrbanDictionary disciple since February 2004.

by Mark H October 27, 2004

from Hell

Similarly used as "of doom," the phrase "from Hell" is an add-on that signifies what's wretched, horrible, abysmal, very bad, awful, infernal, etc. about something.

Getting his candy bar taken from his pocket by some brat kid. Then, getting his apartment burglarized. Then, getting erectile dysfunction while having sex with his very hot girlfriend. Then, getting dumped by his girlfriend. Then, getting dumped on by a flock of seagulls afterwards. Then, flunking the SAT. Then, getting fired from his job. Then, realizing he was too broke to pay his bills. Then, being forced from his apartment. Then, knowing that his mom had died from a heart attack. Then, knowing that his dad also died in a construction yard accident. Yep, for Mike that certainly was the day from Hell.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this as the closing finale to his day. Then, going back from the local bar to his cardboard shack in the alley wasted with the Virgin Mary wearing a bikini top and miniskirt and then waking up the next morning naked next to the disgusting 400-pound demonic beast-woman from Hell.





Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.

by Mark H August 21, 2005

pro-condom slogans

Catchy advertising slogans to use to promote the sale of condoms.

You can't go wrong if you shield your dong!

Before you deck her, cover your pecker!

While she gets in heat, package your meat!

Before undressing Venus, dress up your...

...you know what.

*rimshot*

by Mark H June 17, 2004

logrolling

Masturbation. Exclusively masturbation of men or boys, since "log" is another word for penis.

Phone sex convo between two gay male politicians:

Gay Politician 1: Maybe later we can go back to my place and I can take your census.
Gay Politician 2: Only if you'll filibuster.
Gay Politician 1: Reapportion me, baby
Gay Politician 2: Oh I'll do it, you carpetbagger.
Gay Politician 1: Porkbarrel me!
Gay Politician 1: There's some logrolling going on... IN MY PANTS.
Gay Politician 2: You want PROPORTIONAL REPRESENTATION?
Gay Politician 1: I think I have a majority of your ass.
Gay Politician 2: Oh man, I think I just lost my seat.
Gay Politician 1: I'm about to incumbent!
Gay Politician 2: Errg. Oh YEAH! This session of congress is now over.
Gay Politician 1: Care to adjourn, then?
Gay Politician 2: I just did.
Gay Politician 1: Can we call a special session?
Gay Politician 2: As long as you give me your soft money.

by Mark H August 17, 2004

drop off a few friends at the lake

To go take a crap/do #2/clean your colon/poop in the toilet/whatever other cliche term you want to call the expulsion of fecal matter out through your rear end as the final step of your body digesting the food you eat.

Oww, shit man it looks like I'm gonna miss part of the movie, 'cause I really need to go drop off a few friends at the lake!

by Mark H April 13, 2004

dodgeball

To defend oneself from getting raped/molested by a sexually ravenous male homo sapien sapien.

And yep you've guessed it right about the meaning's origin. Dodging the guy's balls.

Yo even tho there was 5 of us in the hood runnin' the train, that white ho kept dodgeballin' us till she had time to escape and call the pigs!

by Mark H July 19, 2004

boy scout

1)A boy who is a member of the Boy Scouts.
2)Slang term for a man or boy who is considered to be naive.

Gang Leader: "So squirt, what brings you to these mean parts of town?"
Kid: "Oh I'm just walking around selling these candy bars as a fundraiser for my troop."
Gang Leader: "Wow, are we being straight-up econ here!"
*Gang leader points and laughs at the kid as other gang members surround him and laugh at him as well*
Kid: "Um, hey, just what the heck is so funny anyway? Would you like to buy some of my candy?"
Gang Leader: "Looks like you went to the wrong place and picked the wrong guys to sell to, Boy Scout!"





Mark H. Pimpin' new slang defs on UD since February 2004.

by Mark H June 10, 2005