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Mark H's definitions

big bertha

1. A grossly obese German woman.

2.(plural form) A woman's breasts, particularly if they're rather large breasts.

3. A rather humongous penis.
1a. While I was visiting Germany during Oktoberfest and get drunk all day, I had to put up with this one Big Bertha cheese hog who kept trying to steal and eat all my food.

1b. Why the fuck does my email inbox keep getting spammed with porn sites that feature nothing but Big Berthas in bathhouses engaging in lesbian orgies?

1c. Why just look at that Big Bertha running after the poor ice cream man! 500$ says she'll try to eat him as well!

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2. Hey check out those Big Berthas on that babe!

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3. The only physical feature that women find attractive about Ron Jeremy is his Big Bertha.
by Mark H August 30, 2004
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skeeball

(v.) To fall on your nuts while on a slippery surface and then slide across the surface while still positioned on your nuts.
(Winter Olympics male figure skating event)

Announcer: ...and there goes Mark with his signature mooove... *jump* *slip* *THUD* *slide* *WHAM* Owww! My goodness! Not only did he fell, he landed on his organs of manhood and then skeeballed across the ice and straight into the wall! Now that really has got to hurt! Well, there goes Mark's third chance to go for gold along with his ability to reproduce!

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Mark H. Proud UrbanDictionary Slang Author since February 2004.
by Mark H August 30, 2006
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Florida Orange Juice Surprise

Somewhat like a Cincinatti Surprise, except that you urinate into a balloon rather than defecate into a pillow case. You then throw the piss-filled balloon(like a water balloon) at someone and then watch as it bursts splattering the piss all over his/her face.
That mime was really boring and getting on everyone's nerves, so I've decided to pull the ol' Florida Orange Juice Surprise on him and watch as his white makeup gets totally ruined, his costume getting stained with piss, and everyone mocking, deriding, and laughing at him.
by Mark H August 24, 2004
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half of Mexico

Exaggerative slang term for a metric shitload of weed(marijuana).
1. "Well here it is. My new ginormous 2000-liter bong that I bought at the local pawn shop yesterday."
"Whoaly shit dogg! Looks like you can fit half of Mexico in that thing!"

2. (scene from Grand Theft Auto San Andreas)

D.A.: Do you know who you're fucking with here? I'll have your badge you moron!
Cop 1: Shut up! You found anything back there? (Cop 2 is checking out the boot of the D.A.'s car.)
Cop 2: Found anything? He's got half of
Mexico in here! Must be two tons of Mary here!
D.A.: What? But... but I've never seen... how could it have...?
Cop 1: Eloquent defence you got there, buddy.

(source: GameFaqs.com GTA San Andreas game script)





Mark H. Contributing to the drug abuser's slang vocabulary since February 2004.
by Mark H August 22, 2005
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oreo cookie

A threesome in which a white woman is getting simultaneously screwed in her pussy and indabutt by two black men.

See also oreo'd.
After helping their university win the basketball game, Terrell and Jaquan made off with a very hot white blonde cheerleader bitch from the losing university's team, took her into the men's locker room, and made an oreo cookie out of her.





Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since February 2004.
by Mark H April 30, 2005
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all bark and no bite

A commonly-used idiom. When someone is "all bark and no bite," it means that he or she is either:

1. Threatening to do something to you, but is not really willing to do it.

OR

2. Acting all tough, intimidating, and agressive, but is too cowardly and chicken and/or also not strong enough to be willing to even throw one single punch at you.

This idiom is so called, because these kinds of people are likened to dogs who keep barking at you to try to make you afraid, but are actually not going to bite you.
In the projects, Jamal (who is short, skinny and kinda smart) is having a confrontation with Tyrone (who is a large and obese niggapotamus and a bit dumb as well) over a bag of crack rock and a cheap (but VERY attractive) prostitute.

Tyrone: "You gotta be kidding me, bitch! I am all jonesing for this shit right here like a kid in a candy store when all of a sudden, some rhesus monkey from down the block tries to run up my quality time!"
Jamal: "Shove a sock in it, fool! This be my quality time and I am the one who's gonna chuck it in her! Get anywhere near her and my crack rock, and you'll be lying bernie in a pool of your own blood and cellulite!"
Tyrone: "*laughs hysterically* You!? Some half pint threatening to blast a gat on me?! Where's yo gat anyway? *laughs some more* All bark and no bite! *puts on spiked brass knuckles*"
Jamal: "You one stupid ass nigga, you know! Glad I got my spazz by my side! *Jamal quickly pulls out his shotgun from underneath his trenchcoat(where Tyrone doesn't notice it) and points it at Tyrone* Now who's all bark and no bite now, BITCH!"
Tyrone: *soils his pants and runs home crying*
Jamal: *takes the crack rock*
Jamal: (to the girl) Alright baby, now let's go back to my place and hit the sack. I've got everything you want and everything you need.





Mark H. UrbanDictionary disciple since February 2004.
by Mark H October 27, 2004
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logrolling

Masturbation. Exclusively masturbation of men or boys, since "log" is another word for penis.
Phone sex convo between two gay male politicians:

Gay Politician 1: Maybe later we can go back to my place and I can take your census.
Gay Politician 2: Only if you'll filibuster.
Gay Politician 1: Reapportion me, baby
Gay Politician 2: Oh I'll do it, you carpetbagger.
Gay Politician 1: Porkbarrel me!
Gay Politician 1: There's some logrolling going on... IN MY PANTS.
Gay Politician 2: You want PROPORTIONAL REPRESENTATION?
Gay Politician 1: I think I have a majority of your ass.
Gay Politician 2: Oh man, I think I just lost my seat.
Gay Politician 1: I'm about to incumbent!
Gay Politician 2: Errg. Oh YEAH! This session of congress is now over.
Gay Politician 1: Care to adjourn, then?
Gay Politician 2: I just did.
Gay Politician 1: Can we call a special session?
Gay Politician 2: As long as you give me your soft money.
by Mark H August 17, 2004
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