Mark H's definitions

asstronomer

A proctologist who is so very into his profession, quite likely because of himself being gay.

God I went to the proctologist today and man, he wouldn't finish checking my ass for 6 hours already! What an asstronomer! Next time I go see a proctologist, I should ask him if he's gay or else if he is I won't let him examine my ass.

by Mark H June 11, 2004

pro-condom slogans

Catchy advertising slogans to use to promote the sale of condoms.

You can't go wrong if you shield your dong!

Before you deck her, cover your pecker!

While she gets in heat, package your meat!

Before undressing Venus, dress up your...

...you know what.

*rimshot*

by Mark H June 17, 2004

from Hell

Similarly used as "of doom," the phrase "from Hell" is an add-on that signifies what's wretched, horrible, abysmal, very bad, awful, infernal, etc. about something.

Getting his candy bar taken from his pocket by some brat kid. Then, getting his apartment burglarized. Then, getting erectile dysfunction while having sex with his very hot girlfriend. Then, getting dumped by his girlfriend. Then, getting dumped on by a flock of seagulls afterwards. Then, flunking the SAT. Then, getting fired from his job. Then, realizing he was too broke to pay his bills. Then, being forced from his apartment. Then, knowing that his mom had died from a heart attack. Then, knowing that his dad also died in a construction yard accident. Yep, for Mike that certainly was the day from Hell.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this as the closing finale to his day. Then, going back from the local bar to his cardboard shack in the alley wasted with the Virgin Mary wearing a bikini top and miniskirt and then waking up the next morning naked next to the disgusting 400-pound demonic beast-woman from Hell.





Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.

by Mark H August 21, 2005

spaced out

To be stupefied and have dulled down senses due to drinking or using drugs.

Syn: spacey

(at last year's superbowl)

Matt: Damn it Chris, you fucking drug monster! You missed half of the game and you especially missed the half-time performance in which Justin T. ripped off Janet Jackson's shirt, exposing her right milk can!
Chris: I dunno man, I couldn't help it and now I'm so spaced out, I feel like I've been shot into orbit with my head nicely packaged between my ass to protect against g-forces.
Matt: Yeah you've really been riding the magic bus all this time. I have dragged you all the way here because you are a huge Pats fan, yet I told you to lay off the weed and shrooms earlier today.
Chris: Yeah as I said, I couldn't... wait, holy shit!! Look out!! The GoodYear blimp is gonna crash right into us!!!
Matt: Shut up and hush, dude! That's just your fatass mom walking around selling refreshments. Just be glad she hasn't taken notice of you and your intoxication.





Mark H. Over 1 year posting definitions at UrbanDictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H March 18, 2005

ejaculate a rainbow

1.(especially among men)A metaphor. It means to become sexually attracted by a member of the same sex. Also known as gay love at first sight.

2.What every gay man would wish would happen after a very intense earth-shaking orgasm after assfucking his partner.

Examples:

1.I had long quit being Catholic because when I was an altar boy, I'd suspected that the priest has been ejaculating a rainbow over me.

2."Oooooaaahhhhhh maaan! That was incredible!" *ejaculates a rainbow* "And your ass is my pot of gold!"

by Mark H July 15, 2004

follow the crowd

To go along with the current trends(such as pop culture) of today, to run with the world.

Back in 9th grade, Kelly(who looked kinda like Britney Spears) was the prettiest girl in the class and was hit on by several good-looking guys.

But now, 3 years later, Kelly has become no stranger to the biscuit tin and an unhappy teen mother since, so then it was the right thing for her former admirers to follow the crowd and start hitting on the new hottest chick in the class, who was none other than a Jenna Jameson lookalike!





Mark H. Following the crowd on UD since February 2004.

by Mark H October 30, 2004

plug her up

To engage in the sex act of double penetration(or DP for short), which is when two men simultaneously insert their penises into the woman's vagina and anus. This term can also refer to when three men bang the chick the same way, with the third man inserting his penis into her mouth(getting her to be airtight).

And for your information, there actually exists a porn movie that was named "Plug Her Up" and that movie is all about double penetration as well.

When Nick D and Simon scored two fit birds by pulling the beirut trick, they were both dissapointed when one of the girls had left because she was simply not in a very good mood, so they had no choice but to share the remaining one girl, take her upstairs, and plug her up real nice and good.





Mark H. Bringing more sexual lingo to UrbanDictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H November 1, 2004