Mark H's definitions

asstronomer

A proctologist who is so very into his profession, quite likely because of himself being gay.

God I went to the proctologist today and man, he wouldn't finish checking my ass for 6 hours already! What an asstronomer! Next time I go see a proctologist, I should ask him if he's gay or else if he is I won't let him examine my ass.

by Mark H June 11, 2004

from Hell

Similarly used as "of doom," the phrase "from Hell" is an add-on that signifies what's wretched, horrible, abysmal, very bad, awful, infernal, etc. about something.

Getting his candy bar taken from his pocket by some brat kid. Then, getting his apartment burglarized. Then, getting erectile dysfunction while having sex with his very hot girlfriend. Then, getting dumped by his girlfriend. Then, getting dumped on by a flock of seagulls afterwards. Then, flunking the SAT. Then, getting fired from his job. Then, realizing he was too broke to pay his bills. Then, being forced from his apartment. Then, knowing that his mom had died from a heart attack. Then, knowing that his dad also died in a construction yard accident. Yep, for Mike that certainly was the day from Hell.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this as the closing finale to his day. Then, going back from the local bar to his cardboard shack in the alley wasted with the Virgin Mary wearing a bikini top and miniskirt and then waking up the next morning naked next to the disgusting 400-pound demonic beast-woman from Hell.





Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.

by Mark H August 21, 2005

pro-condom slogans

Catchy advertising slogans to use to promote the sale of condoms.

You can't go wrong if you shield your dong!

Before you deck her, cover your pecker!

While she gets in heat, package your meat!

Before undressing Venus, dress up your...

...you know what.

*rimshot*

by Mark H June 17, 2004

dodgeball

To defend oneself from getting raped/molested by a sexually ravenous male homo sapien sapien.

And yep you've guessed it right about the meaning's origin. Dodging the guy's balls.

Yo even tho there was 5 of us in the hood runnin' the train, that white ho kept dodgeballin' us till she had time to escape and call the pigs!

by Mark H July 19, 2004

drop off a few friends at the lake

To go take a crap/do #2/clean your colon/poop in the toilet/whatever other cliche term you want to call the expulsion of fecal matter out through your rear end as the final step of your body digesting the food you eat.

Oww, shit man it looks like I'm gonna miss part of the movie, 'cause I really need to go drop off a few friends at the lake!

by Mark H April 13, 2004

Nookie

An either famous or notorious song by rap rock band Limp Bizkit, whom you'd either think are a cool band or a very very shitty band.

Quoted from the song's chorus:

"I did it all for the nookie
C'mon
The nookie
C'mon
So you can take that cookie
And stick it up your, yeah!!
Stick it up your, yeah!!
Stick it up your, yeah!!"

Source: www.azlyrics.com

by Mark H June 4, 2004

hornet's nest

A violent and/or very argumentative/controversial situation.

1. Ever since 9/11, the US has been at war and in a political hornet's nest with terrorism worldwide.

2. Jamal and Terrell really got into some gangsta shit when they stirred up a hornet's nest with their fellow Crips, who refused to share their McDonald's chicken selects with them.

by Mark H March 17, 2005