Mark H's definitions

sour onions

A slang term that refers to stinky armpits on a person who either forgot to use ,or perhaps never even uses deodorant.

Damn, while I was taking a bus tour through Paris, I had to put up with this fatass Frenchman sitting beside me who wore a wifebeater and whose sour onions stank so bad, one would really need to wear a fucking gas mask to be anywhere around him!





Mark H. UD contributer since February 2004.

by Mark H April 18, 2005

logrolling

Masturbation. Exclusively masturbation of men or boys, since "log" is another word for penis.

Phone sex convo between two gay male politicians:

Gay Politician 1: Maybe later we can go back to my place and I can take your census.
Gay Politician 2: Only if you'll filibuster.
Gay Politician 1: Reapportion me, baby
Gay Politician 2: Oh I'll do it, you carpetbagger.
Gay Politician 1: Porkbarrel me!
Gay Politician 1: There's some logrolling going on... IN MY PANTS.
Gay Politician 2: You want PROPORTIONAL REPRESENTATION?
Gay Politician 1: I think I have a majority of your ass.
Gay Politician 2: Oh man, I think I just lost my seat.
Gay Politician 1: I'm about to incumbent!
Gay Politician 2: Errg. Oh YEAH! This session of congress is now over.
Gay Politician 1: Care to adjourn, then?
Gay Politician 2: I just did.
Gay Politician 1: Can we call a special session?
Gay Politician 2: As long as you give me your soft money.

by Mark H August 17, 2004

Eskimo ass pie

Humorous slang reference to any wad of frozen human feces most likely found outside during freezing cold weather in some area in the wilderness where someone took a shit. A play on the name of that tasty ice cream bar we all know and love.

Damn, while we were in the Canadian wilderness, Mark was getting his ass pwned in that awesome snowball fight until he found an Eskimo ass pie while he was down on the ground and splatted Frank in the face with it as Frank moved in to finish Mark off! Man, Mark was such a sick fuck to do that, but at least Frank got what he deserved and was made the laughing stock of the entire camp.

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Mark H. Providing UD definitions for a snowy day since February 2004.

by Mark H November 3, 2006

lagasse alarm

It doesn't just have to be semen, it can be any liquid or powdered substance. Salt, pepper, sugar, hot sauce, anything goes.

The USMC drill sergeant has just woken up an oversleeping cadet by setting off the Lagasse alarm, throwing pepper on the man's face.

"BAM! Wake up, maggot! Just who the hell do you think you are? Rip Van Winkle? Get up, take a shower, dress up, and catch your sorry carcass up with the rest of the others who are apparently better evolved primates than you are! Yeah!"

by Mark H July 11, 2004

forrest gump

British sort of rhyming slang term used in place of "dump" when someone says "I gotta go take a dump."

I'll be back later mate. I've got to go take a Forrest Gump.

by Mark H June 25, 2004

oreo cookie

A threesome in which a white woman is getting simultaneously screwed in her pussy and indabutt by two black men.

See also oreo'd.

After helping their university win the basketball game, Terrell and Jaquan made off with a very hot white blonde cheerleader bitch from the losing university's team, took her into the men's locker room, and made an oreo cookie out of her.





Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since February 2004.

by Mark H April 30, 2005

all bark and no bite

A commonly-used idiom. When someone is "all bark and no bite," it means that he or she is either:

1. Threatening to do something to you, but is not really willing to do it.

OR

2. Acting all tough, intimidating, and agressive, but is too cowardly and chicken and/or also not strong enough to be willing to even throw one single punch at you.

This idiom is so called, because these kinds of people are likened to dogs who keep barking at you to try to make you afraid, but are actually not going to bite you.

In the projects, Jamal (who is short, skinny and kinda smart) is having a confrontation with Tyrone (who is a large and obese niggapotamus and a bit dumb as well) over a bag of crack rock and a cheap (but VERY attractive) prostitute.

Tyrone: "You gotta be kidding me, bitch! I am all jonesing for this shit right here like a kid in a candy store when all of a sudden, some rhesus monkey from down the block tries to run up my quality time!"
Jamal: "Shove a sock in it, fool! This be my quality time and I am the one who's gonna chuck it in her! Get anywhere near her and my crack rock, and you'll be lying bernie in a pool of your own blood and cellulite!"
Tyrone: "*laughs hysterically* You!? Some half pint threatening to blast a gat on me?! Where's yo gat anyway? *laughs some more* All bark and no bite! *puts on spiked brass knuckles*"
Jamal: "You one stupid ass nigga, you know! Glad I got my spazz by my side! *Jamal quickly pulls out his shotgun from underneath his trenchcoat(where Tyrone doesn't notice it) and points it at Tyrone* Now who's all bark and no bite now, BITCH!"
Tyrone: *soils his pants and runs home crying*
Jamal: *takes the crack rock*
Jamal: (to the girl) Alright baby, now let's go back to my place and hit the sack. I've got everything you want and everything you need.





Mark H. UrbanDictionary disciple since February 2004.

by Mark H October 27, 2004