Marcus Solomon 's definitions

emo sucks

"Emo sucks" is a statement of fact in the same sense as "oxygen is good for breathing." "Emo sucks" is now the modern version of "disco sucks," with the all-important distinction being that enjoying disco in the nostalgic, silly sense is fun, but emo will never be cool.

Teacher: "Class, can somebody give me an example of indisputable fact?"
Student: "Emo sucks!"
Teacher: "A Plus!"

by Marcus Solomon September 17, 2007

emopinion

Any predictably morose and/or ignorant opinion expressed by a victim of the emo trend. Most emopinions center on the subjects of false sense of persecution, "Why does everyone hate us?" attention-getting self debasement, "My life is so terrible!" and the mistaken belief that the emo trend is something unique and counterculture, "We are true rebels!" despite the fact that the emo look is entirely conformist and the whiny/tantrum rock they listen to is completely unoriginal and contrived.

I asked that kid with the emotenuse why he was part of such a stupid trend and all he did was spout bitchy, predictable emopinions.

by Marcus Solomon September 26, 2008

emotard

A reference to all emo kids in general. Being that emo is a false genre compiled from bits of other (valid) musical subcultures into a uniquely bland, and unoriginal composite, emo is "retarded," the combination of "emo" and "retard" becomes the redundant, but accurate slur.

All those emo kids who think they are being original by looking like each other and pretending to be so emotionally deep are really self-deluded emotards.

by Marcus Solomon November 28, 2007

emo maiden

A term unique to only one person; the person who originally wrote the "emo maiden" definition. Apparently inspired by Iron Maiden's vocalist Bruce Dickinson's tendency to hold high notes in a manner that can be compared to prolonged whining.

I believe Iron Maiden started the emo trend and I call the band "Emo Maiden" because I have very little knowledge of music history.

by Marcus Solomon September 12, 2007

mantenna

A man's penis, specifically in the erect position.

My mantenna is detecting some estrogen in the area, so I should follow it to find the girl of my dreams.

by Marcus Solomon November 19, 2007

Metoo

An identical or nearly-identical tattoo that was chosen merely because the person saw it on someone else.

Did you see that emo kid's stars on his left wrist and the "cut here" on his right wrist? What a dummy to get a couple of metoos.

by Marcus Solomon October 14, 2008

Emo guys

Easily-led trend followers that have adopted the cookie-cutter emo clone uniform that consists of ridiculously tight pants (often girl's pants), way-too-tight T-shirts (often girl's shirts), Van's or Converse high-top shoes, and any one of the multiple variations of the angular, backward mullet (see:emotenuse). Musically, emo guys listen to the sadly-growing legions of homogenized whiny pop bands and/or the growing-number of misguided metalic/punkish sounding groups that pretend to express anger and melancholy emotions that they have never truly experienced. Emo guys are often seen kissing each other as peer-encouraged homosexuality and acting stereotypically feminine is an important part of emo guys' image, and often is the result of having their testicles squeezed in tight pants for so long that testosterone production is impossible.

We saw a bunch of emo guys kissing because they wanted everyone to see how sensitive and emotional they are, but we all just laughed at how much influence a silly trend can have on human behavior.

by Marcus Solomon December 6, 2007