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Marcus Solomon 's definitions

emo hair

Emo hair is a collection of variations of the angular, backward mullet, (esotericaly known as the "hypotenuse"). Emo hair style is also known as the "Swoosh," and should deliberately be associated with the slang adjective "Swish." Almost always black (dyed or natural), emo hair has the unique ablility to make its adherents brain-damaged to the point where they believe looking like others constitutes being unique.
A squared plus B squared equals the C squared hypotenuse of all those emo-clones' emo hair.
by Marcus Solomon September 11, 2007
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fruit boots

1. A slang synonym for "inline skates," which are also known by the brand name "Rollerblades." This term was coined by skateboarders frustrated by the mass influx of generally clueless, and unobservant inline skaters that always get in the way at skateparks. It is a perjorative term used for the purpose of insulting inline skaters as being homosexual.

2. High heel boots worn by a transvestite.
1. Those stupid dorks wearing fruit boots never look where they are going and always cause collisions at the skatepark.

2. The drag queen put on some fruit boots to go skating at the skatepark after taking off his/her thigh-high fruit boots.
by Marcus Solomon November 20, 2007
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scene

1. Any cultural or subcultural grouping such as the "skate scene," the "jock scene," the "punk scene," etc. Most recently, those who have become part of the sad, false genre known as "emo," have become so embarassed about themselves that they have adopted the word "scene" or "scene kid" in a pathetic attempt to mask their involvement in the most unoriginal trend ever to infect music and fashion. Most emo clones who call themselves scene kids tend to be older; an emo clone with a driver's license.
I am not an emo kid, even though I look like every other emo kid and listen to emo bands, I am a scene kid so stop making fun of me...I have a driver's license and everything!
by Marcus Solomon December 7, 2007
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emo sucks

"Emo sucks" is a statement of fact in the same sense as "oxygen is good for breathing." "Emo sucks" is now the modern version of "disco sucks," with the all-important distinction being that enjoying disco in the nostalgic, silly sense is fun, but emo will never be cool.
Teacher: "Class, can somebody give me an example of indisputable fact?"
Student: "Emo sucks!"
Teacher: "A Plus!"
by Marcus Solomon September 17, 2007
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emo know it all

Anyone with enough sense to completely avoid the emo trend. Those who recognize the fact that emo is a false-genre cobbled together from bits of other music subcultures and that its adherenents are fixated on clonish fashion statements and overmoted, contrived negative emotions.
Q: Why aren't you emo?
A: As an emo know it all, I understand that emo is dumb, and therefore choose to ignore the trend.
by Marcus Solomon September 11, 2007
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emocaust

The final solution to the emo problem.

Emo is a false genre of music wherein its misled adherents believe they are part of a new subgenre of music, but in reality, emo is nothing more than melancholy pop music and/or homogenized bad metal with whiny/screaming vocals. The emos pride themselves on contrived negativity, false sense of insight and depth, and have adopted the standardized emo uniform in all its bland unoriginality (backward, angular mullet see:emotenuse, tight girls' jeans, tight T-shirts, Converse high-tops, and sullen expression).

The emocaust would solve the emo problem once and for all. All emo clones would be gathered into concentraton camps, and sent to "showers" of good music, which would reawaken the mind and return the emo zombie to a productive, self-determined future.
If I were president, I would build concentration camps for all the legions of emo clones, and then I would shower them with happiness and the emocaust would be complete!
by Marcus Solomon January 6, 2008
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emo blows

1. A synonmyous variation of "emo sucks," which is an indisputable fact because emo is a false musical/fashion genre with absolutely nothing new to offer other than its own bland hodge-poge rip off of other, genuine musical subcultures, false negativity, and pride in looking like all other emo clones.

2. When one sad emo boy sucks the sad, limp penis of another emo clone.

3. A pathetic "girl punch" and/or "sissy slap" thrown at anyone in the vacinity of an emo clone whom is in the midst of a contrived tantrum.
1. I had a mystical vision, wherein the ultimate truth was revealed to me and inscribed in stone it said: "emo blows!"

2. I caught sad Sammy and homo Hank giving each other emo blows under the bleachers at the Sadie Hawkins dance.

3. That emo kid over there just unleased a flurry of emo blows and even though he connected, nobody felt a thing but amused pity.
by Marcus Solomon November 13, 2007
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