Marcus Solomon 's definitions

emo sucks

"Emo sucks" is a statement of fact in the same sense as "oxygen is good for breathing." "Emo sucks" is now the modern version of "disco sucks," with the all-important distinction being that enjoying disco in the nostalgic, silly sense is fun, but emo will never be cool.

Teacher: "Class, can somebody give me an example of indisputable fact?"
Student: "Emo sucks!"
Teacher: "A Plus!"

by Marcus Solomon September 17, 2007

Emo guys

Easily-led trend followers that have adopted the cookie-cutter emo clone uniform that consists of ridiculously tight pants (often girl's pants), way-too-tight T-shirts (often girl's shirts), Van's or Converse high-top shoes, and any one of the multiple variations of the angular, backward mullet (see:emotenuse). Musically, emo guys listen to the sadly-growing legions of homogenized whiny pop bands and/or the growing-number of misguided metalic/punkish sounding groups that pretend to express anger and melancholy emotions that they have never truly experienced. Emo guys are often seen kissing each other as peer-encouraged homosexuality and acting stereotypically feminine is an important part of emo guys' image, and often is the result of having their testicles squeezed in tight pants for so long that testosterone production is impossible.

We saw a bunch of emo guys kissing because they wanted everyone to see how sensitive and emotional they are, but we all just laughed at how much influence a silly trend can have on human behavior.

by Marcus Solomon December 6, 2007

fruit boots

1. A slang synonym for "inline skates," which are also known by the brand name "Rollerblades." This term was coined by skateboarders frustrated by the mass influx of generally clueless, and unobservant inline skaters that always get in the way at skateparks. It is a perjorative term used for the purpose of insulting inline skaters as being homosexual.

2. High heel boots worn by a transvestite.

1. Those stupid dorks wearing fruit boots never look where they are going and always cause collisions at the skatepark.

2. The drag queen put on some fruit boots to go skating at the skatepark after taking off his/her thigh-high fruit boots.

by Marcus Solomon November 20, 2007

scene

1. Any cultural or subcultural grouping such as the "skate scene," the "jock scene," the "punk scene," etc. Most recently, those who have become part of the sad, false genre known as "emo," have become so embarassed about themselves that they have adopted the word "scene" or "scene kid" in a pathetic attempt to mask their involvement in the most unoriginal trend ever to infect music and fashion. Most emo clones who call themselves scene kids tend to be older; an emo clone with a driver's license.

I am not an emo kid, even though I look like every other emo kid and listen to emo bands, I am a scene kid so stop making fun of me...I have a driver's license and everything!

by Marcus Solomon December 7, 2007

emo hair

Emo hair is a collection of variations of the angular, backward mullet, (esotericaly known as the "hypotenuse"). Emo hair style is also known as the "Swoosh," and should deliberately be associated with the slang adjective "Swish." Almost always black (dyed or natural), emo hair has the unique ablility to make its adherents brain-damaged to the point where they believe looking like others constitutes being unique.

A squared plus B squared equals the C squared hypotenuse of all those emo-clones' emo hair.

by Marcus Solomon September 11, 2007

emotenuse

Derived from the mathematical term "hypotenuce," it is the longest side of the right-angle triangle formed by the standard emo haircut; the sloped line covering one or both eyes created by the backward, angular mullet favored by emo clones.

The length of an emo crybaby's emotenuce can be calculated with the formula A squared plus B squared equals C squared; C being the variable representing the length of the emotenuse.

by Marcus Solomon November 8, 2007

emo bashing

1.To speak the truth about emo with complete comprehension about emo's absolute worthlessness, unoriginality, and shallow nature. Ironically, emo bashing feeds into the emo self-pity spiral. While emo clones complain about being bashed upon, it fuels their all-important (false) sense of despair.

2. When an emo clone hits its head against the wall in the midst of a tantrum.

1. I am not emo bashing, I am just speaking the truth about stupidness of the emo trend.

2. Q: Why is that kid with the backward, crooked mullet hitting his head against the wall?
A: He is emo bashing himself because its part of his image.

by Marcus Solomon December 6, 2007