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Madmann's definitions

Grunge Off

Commercially available chemical for cleaning residue from inside of bongs. Contains chemicals you probably shouldn't be inhaling. Use Palmolive mixed with baking soda instead.
Palmolive & baking soda works better than Grunge Off anyway.
by Madmann October 8, 2005
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Dgaf

Person1 txt: omfg did u see what she was wearing today????

Person2 txt: no n dgaf
by Madmann June 25, 2020
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Grown-up

Some people mistakenly believe this is a term for those over 18. Fraid not. Some people are born grown-ups, and some die at 100 never having acheived this status. If you are one, congratulations on not dying thus far; if not, here's some things you have to look forward to!

• You will cease to be impressed with your 1337speak, pwning people, your h4x0r rep and otherwise talking "liek u r" an illiterate moron. Intelligence, it's not just for breakfast anymore.

• For you emo kids, the world will get brighter for you when you stop crying and get another piece of ass. Life's cyclical in nature, roll with it.

• You will finally understand why your dad always screams when you begin to pay all your own bills. TIP: Pay electricity bill before buying the new GTA.

• Realizing that just because you CAN drink doesn't necessarily make it a good idea. Go out Wednesday, your place of employment might look like the jaws of Hell Thursday morning at 7:00 AM.

• Realizing that your place of employment ALWAYS looks like the jaws of Hell, shrugging and doing what you damn well feel like anyway.

and finally,

• The moment when you are truly no longer a kid, because you can't be. Because you have decided that all kids, without exception, SUCK. Because now YOU have a kid, crying, yelling, wetting the bed, wanting money. Karma's a cruel bitch.

Other than that, it's the only way to be... what else ya gonna do, be a 40 year old skateboarder?
I'm glad I'm a grown-up

or

(Closed captioning for the 1337 impaired)
i r liek ben a grown-up. it's teh w00t.
by Madmann October 10, 2005
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buddy jesus

1. Originally from the Kevin Smith movie "Dogma". In the film, Cardinal Glick, during his "Catholicism WOW!" campaign to move the church towards a younger, "hipper" demographic, suggest replacing the crucifix with a new image of Christ. This version is grinning like an infomercial host, with one hand thumbs up and one hand doing a phony Hollywood "Bang-bang" gesture. Imagine Jesus if he were subject to Neilsen ratings.

2. Anyone who possesses all the false charm and lack of genuine quality as personified by the icon represented in definition 1; for example, that phony cockbite where you work. It helps if they walk around all the time acting like only THEY can save you/the corporation/Earth/Jimmy Olsen. Martyrdom: It's a good gig if you can get it.
1. I laughed so hard the first time I saw Buddy Jesus I passed an entire chef salad through my nose!

2. That Dan... he's such a Buddy Jesus... I oughta nail him to something.
by Madmann October 8, 2005
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jailhouse conversion

A sudden shift in belief systems (usually finding Jesus, but also Allah and probably every other Deity) after a period of incarceration. Usually a ploy for leniency with the legal system. Oddly, given the separation of church and state that we're supposed to have in this country, it does sometimes seem to have a positive effect when going to talk to the judge/parole board. Everyone from your local meth dealer to Manuel Noriega, Dictator of Panama have tried this one, making it one of the truly "oldest ones in the book".
typical jailhouse conversion:

Crack Dealer: Your Honor, I found Jesus in the Dade County Jail.

Judge: Big deal, this is Florida, every third guy in there is named Jesus....
by Madmann October 10, 2005
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buddy christ

syn. buddy jesus

1. Originally from the Kevin Smith movie "Dogma". In the film, Cardinal Glick, during his "Catholicism WOW!" campaign to move the church towards a younger, "hipper" demographic, suggest replacing the crucifix with a new image of Christ. This version is grinning like an infomercial host, with one hand thumbs up and one hand doing a phony Hollywood "Bang-bang" gesture. Imagine Jesus if he were subject to Neilsen ratings.

2. Anyone who possesses all the false charm and lack of genuine quality as personified by the icon represented in definition 1; for example, that phony cockbite where you work. It helps if they walk around all the time acting like only THEY can save you/the corporation/Earth/Jimmy Olsen. Martyrdom: It's a good gig if you can get it.
1. I laughed so hard the first time I saw Buddy Christ I passed an entire chef salad through my nose!

2. That dude... he's such a Buddy Christ... I oughta nail him to something.
Source: Madmann, Oregon
by Madmann October 7, 2005
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pea soup

It's when chef Gordon Elliott, through years of discipline and training, is able to actually urinate a meaty broth for the guests of his... oh wait... nope, that's pee soup. Sorry. Never mind.
My confusion is as thick as pea soup.
by Madmann October 10, 2005
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