Madmann's definitions

Jeff Foxworthy

1. A popular comedian among NASCAR fans, mulletheads, Pabst Blue Ribbon drinkers and rednecks (like those are different categories). Creator of the "You Might Be A Redneck" series of jokes. I say "jokes" loosely, as they're all slight derivations of the exact same joke, which isn't really a joke to begin with, just observation: rednecks lack class & intelligence. The only humor is that the rednecks themselves love this joke more than anyone. "We're backwards losers, that is SOOOO funny!"

2. Any one-trick pony such as definition 1.

1. "Jeff Foxworthy's on TV! Wanna watch?"
"No, I gotta clip my toenails or something..."

2. "Dat Phan won Last Comic Standing and EVERY joke was about being Korean... what a Foxworthy..."

by Madmann October 13, 2005

pig-up

The large pick-up trucks driven by police (usually State Troopers).

"Don't flick that butt out the window, I got a pig-up behind me, numbnuts!"

by Madmann June 3, 2009

come correct

To have an orgasm without making any errors, to ejaculate according to the accepted norm.

My girlfriend is giving me an oral test, I hope I come correct!

by Madmann October 10, 2005

Agnosticism

The only true sign of intelligence you will encounter from another human being.

A theist, or believer in God, will tell you that he ABSOLUTELY exists. An atheist (non-believer) will say he ABSOLUTELY doesn't.

Well, the last time I checked, it's been like 2000 years since God was reported to have talked to anybody, making it pretty difficult to prove. Besides which, all religion is predicated on faith (See also: Not supposed to be proven).

Prove he doesn't exist? Possibly the only thing harder to do. Besides the enormity of the task, there's the fact that anyone who ever took a logic class knows and that is that you can't prove a negative. You can only prove (sometimes) that something hasn't happened YET. It may still the next time.

So... you have a theist, an atheist and an agnostic... None of them really knows the truth about the nature of existence.

But only the agnostic is smart enough to admit it.

Agnosticism says: I don't know if there's a God or not... and neither do you.

Sleep tight.

by Madmann October 10, 2005

Grunge Off

Commercially available chemical for cleaning residue from inside of bongs. Contains chemicals you probably shouldn't be inhaling. Use Palmolive mixed with baking soda instead.

Palmolive & baking soda works better than Grunge Off anyway.

by Madmann October 8, 2005

Irony

NOTHING in the Alanis Morissette song "Ironic".

A black fly in your Chardonnay? How is that, Alanis? And isn't it moronic... don't ya think?

It's ironic that the song "Ironic" contains no irony.

by Madmann October 10, 2005

jailhouse conversion

A sudden shift in belief systems (usually finding Jesus, but also Allah and probably every other Deity) after a period of incarceration. Usually a ploy for leniency with the legal system. Oddly, given the separation of church and state that we're supposed to have in this country, it does sometimes seem to have a positive effect when going to talk to the judge/parole board. Everyone from your local meth dealer to Manuel Noriega, Dictator of Panama have tried this one, making it one of the truly "oldest ones in the book".

typical jailhouse conversion:

Crack Dealer: Your Honor, I found Jesus in the Dade County Jail.

Judge: Big deal, this is Florida, every third guy in there is named Jesus....

by Madmann October 10, 2005