25 definitions by Madmann

The electronic equivalent of a "paper trail". In the old days, guys like Enron and MCI had to worry about leaving hard-copy memos and such laying around that could eventually be used against them. Now it's e-mails, text files, server databases and the like.
Enron's IT guys are trying furiously to erase the vapor trail.
by Madmann October 11, 2005
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I'm lucky enough to get paid for my art.
by Madmann October 8, 2005
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The only true sign of intelligence you will encounter from another human being.

A theist, or believer in God, will tell you that he ABSOLUTELY exists. An atheist (non-believer) will say he ABSOLUTELY doesn't.

Well, the last time I checked, it's been like 2000 years since God was reported to have talked to anybody, making it pretty difficult to prove. Besides which, all religion is predicated on faith (See also: Not supposed to be proven).

Prove he doesn't exist? Possibly the only thing harder to do. Besides the enormity of the task, there's the fact that anyone who ever took a logic class knows and that is that you can't prove a negative. You can only prove (sometimes) that something hasn't happened YET. It may still the next time.

So... you have a theist, an atheist and an agnostic... None of them really knows the truth about the nature of existence.

But only the agnostic is smart enough to admit it.
Agnosticism says: I don't know if there's a God or not... and neither do you.

Sleep tight.
by Madmann October 7, 2005
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1. Originally from the Kevin Smith movie "Dogma". In the film, Cardinal Glick, during his "Catholicism WOW!" campaign to move the church towards a younger, "hipper" demographic, suggest replacing the crucifix with a new image of Christ. This version is grinning like an infomercial host, with one hand thumbs up and one hand doing a phony Hollywood "Bang-bang" gesture. Imagine Jesus if he were subject to Neilsen ratings.

2. Anyone who possesses all the false charm and lack of genuine quality as personified by the icon represented in definition 1; for example, that phony cockbite where you work. It helps if they walk around all the time acting like only THEY can save you/the corporation/Earth/Jimmy Olsen. Martyrdom: It's a good gig if you can get it.
1. I laughed so hard the first time I saw Buddy Jesus I passed an entire chef salad through my nose!

2. That Dan... he's such a Buddy Jesus... I oughta nail him to something.
by Madmann October 3, 2005
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NOTHING in the Alanis Morissette song "Ironic".
A black fly in your Chardonnay? How is that, Alanis? And isn't it moronic... don't ya think?

It's ironic that the song "Ironic" contains no irony.
by Madmann October 5, 2005
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The large pick-up trucks driven by police (usually State Troopers).
"Don't flick that butt out the window, I got a pig-up behind me, numbnuts!"
by Madmann June 3, 2009
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Karaoke Jockey. While still qualifying as a genuine knob jockey, this is the man who actually accepts money to hear "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" and "Crazy" belted out by drunk American Idol wannabes. Job requires minimal vocal talent, lame sense of humor and the ability to run electronic equipment while suffering alcohol poisoning.
Let's leave this bar, that KJ blows goats.
by Madmann October 1, 2005
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