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Luke Warm's definitions

Guide to relationships

The following is a guide to relationships; it is written by someone who has never had a complete relationship and is therefore considered to be potentially objective 'n stuff
Guide to relationships
Primary requirements for a happy relationship:

Love
Honesty
Respect
Trust
Faith

Without all five of the aforementioned prerequisites; at least one of the participents will never be truly happy.

The key to a successful relationship is communication. Open and honest communication ensures that there are no problems, no doubts. If you are in love with someone, you have nothing to hide from them or from yourself.

To be honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself.
You do know when you are making the wrong decision; what is the point of lying to yourself? You still know the truth - thats just silly.
It is too easy to talk yourself into the wrong choice; it is just as easy to make the right choice and it just gets easier.
Honesty requires very little brain power and instead of hurting the ones who love you; it makes them stronger.

A relationship must be balanced!
You are equals in every way
You both make the decisions, you both take responsibility
Its all about love; not money, not power, not intelligence - just love.
by luke warm October 18, 2008
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I need to be held

Term used to describe how a lot of us feel when confronted with the joys of daily life.
Time to go to work - I need to be held

I have a cold - I need to be held

My house fell over - I really need to be held.

I need to be held is also a very effective way of hurting someone (if you are that way inclined (Refer: Bogan or Succubus):
"I need to be held, but not by you"
Trust me, it doesnt feel good
by Luke Warm August 15, 2008
mugGet the I need to be heldmug.

Woolly Bush

1. Common name of the Australian native plant species 'Adenanthos sericeus'

2. Expansive growth of hair; in an area thats best kept bare.
I bet she has the biggest baddest woolly bush; Im scared, I need to be held.

Damn girl; there aint no way Im going down there till you have mowed the lawn.

Bogan #1: Dude, she looks woolly.
Bogan #2: Yep, sure is.
Bogan #3: No way dude, you didnt. That is so luke warm.
Bogan #2: Ive been exploring that for the last couple of weeks. Didnt your mother ask where I was?
Bogan #1: Too funny dude; he's been in your mums hot knickers again
Bogan #3: Bite me. Have you found any treasure in there?
Bogan #2: Sorry dude; I was miles away, thinking about your mums hot knickers again. No treasure, but I did catch a shitload of crabs and its wall to wall scrot-rot down there.
All bogans together: mmm... woolly bush
by Luke Warm August 6, 2008
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The Wanders

Imagine this senario:
You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time....
You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad.
But then...
You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place.

You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks.
You have just experienced 'The Wanders'
Sandy: What are you looking for Bella?
Bella: Huh?
Sandy: Fair enough
Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders
Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for
Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo?
Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you
Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now
by Luke Warm October 21, 2008
mugGet the The Wandersmug.

Norms

Everyone who is not willing to:
Think for, or be themselves.

Deriving from the word ‘Normal’
While normal has traditionally been considered to be a good thing to be; traditionally people have also clearly been fucktards; just look around you, we have fucked the planet that we live on, not real bright eh!!
Norms are everywhere

You don’t have to ‘dare to be different’; if you do that you are just another norm
Be whoever you are (unless you are a Bogan; way too many Bogans out there already)
Stand up for what you believe in
Dress how you want to dress
Listen to the music that you like
Don’t follow or make trends
Give a fuck by not giving a fuck
Express yourself (no, not like Madonna; like you!!)

Tuesday 06/01/2009
by Luke Warm January 6, 2009
mugGet the Normsmug.

Bogan

Australian or New Zealander who possesses no class at all

Refer: white trash, red-neck, trailer trash, alcoholic, breeder, simpleton, Victorian, Geelong, Prahran, Shepparton
The traditional Bogan:

Identification key for the male of the species:
Black desert boots, tight black jeans, blue singlet or black t-shirt (AC-DC etc), blue chequered flannelette (flanny) long sleeved shirt.
Mullet haircut (Short at the front, long at the back – refer: Billy Ray Cyrus The haircut with its own motto: 'Business at the front, party at the back' in some circles also referred to as: 'Party at the back, business at the front' Either way it is still a shit haircut.
Smokes ‘winfield blues’, these are generally located rolled up in the sleeve of the ‘flanny’
Drinks Victoria Bitter (VB)
Drives a generally loud V8 Holden or Ford with a stupid sticker on the back taking the piss out of the make of car that they do not drive; or simply stating the make/model of car that they do drive, just in case they forget.

Identification key for the female of the species:
Loud whore with way too many snotty brats, horrible shrill voice, shocking accent, really stupid (no analogy available), shops at Safeway, also possesses all of the traits of the male of the species.

Social activities include: going down the pub, drinking, arguing, violence, breeding, prejudice of all varieties, watching the footy, watching Big Brother, watching Greys anatomy, watching today tonight and A current affair to see what their relatives are up to, watching the cricket, ten-pin bowling, doing burnouts and bog laps (bogan laps = driving around town just because), filling the front yard up with cars thereby further devaluing the neighbourhood, bbq’s and referring to everyone else as bogans (no I am not a bogan; don’t be a smart-arse lol)

The contemporary Bogan:

White trash with a severe American influence on their language, social skills and lack of fashion sense.

Friday 26/12/2008
by Luke Warm January 5, 2009
mugGet the Boganmug.

Choice

Choice is something we all have

While many choices are hard; decisions still need to be made
Some choices you may like to consider:

1. We have the choice to make our own choices.
2. We have the choice to be honest with ourselves.
3. We have the choice to be a bogan if we so wish; we also have the choice to be a better bogan.
4. We have the choice to forget and to remember.
5. We have the choice to care or not to care.
6. We have the choice to be ourselves or to hide from ourselves.
7. We have the choice to trust and to have faith; we have the choice to be too scared.
8. We have the choice to change our minds if we so wish; we also have the choice to change them back.
9. We have the choice to do the right thing by ourselves and others; this should not need to be a choice.
10. We have the choice to grow or to hold ourselves back.
11. We have the choice to be strong (assistance may be required)
12. We have the choice to listen to the universe as we have the choice to be only normal.
13. We have the choice to follow the rules or to think for ourselves.
14. We have the choice to listen and to be listened to.
15. We have the choice to be respected even if we are not used to it.
16. We have the choice to lie or to be honest (refer: point 1) - caution: the choice to lie, as with all other choices has consequences including (but not limited to):
Damage to the heart, mind and soul of yourself and those who truly care for you.

There is not always a choice:

We do not choose to fall in love; it just happens.
Love is not found at the pub (Scrot-rot and Random Bogans are)
True love is not something you look for, pursue or find; it finds you.

Love is all, there is nothing else.
by Luke Warm October 16, 2008
mugGet the Choicemug.

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