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Luke Warm's definitions

What the fuck?

An expression used to convey various reactions to events. ‘What the fuck?’ may be used in an attempt to explain any one or combination of the reactions/emotions listed below and then some.

A: Confusion
B: Incredulous confusion
C: Surprise
D: Disappointment
E: Hurt
F: Anger
G: Ironically
What the fuck?’ Is rarely used as a positive statement; however it may be used ironically to convey such is life (refer ex G)

*Note: The ‘McDonalds’ referred to in the following examples is not the all too familiar icon of western civilisation that sells a wide variety of meal choices at prices that are reasonable to the consumer.
The use of the name ‘McDonalds’ is pure coincidence; the name (as applied to the examples below) was randomly generated using a super-dooper computer.

A: Confusion
I was walking past McDonalds the other day; it smelt disgusting. So I was like “What the fuck? Why would you want to eat that?”

B: Incredulous confusion
What the fuck? All of the people driving into McDonalds look like cheeseburgers!!

C: Surprise
What the fuck Tracey; is that your mother working at McDonalds in her hot knickers making cheeseburgers?

D: Disappointment
What the fuck is the world coming to when people are willing to eat greasy cheesys from McDonalds?

E: Hurt
Oh God, what the fuck? How could you eat that cheeseburger from McDonalds? Can’t you see how much anguish and sorrow it causes me to watch you stuff that disgusting in every way symbol of everything that is wrong with the world into your mouth and watch the grease drip down from your lips over your chins, one after another. At the very least it hurts my stomach; what with all the vomiting induced just by the thought of McDonalds cheeseburger consumption by the average overweight western society individual who has little concern for where the produce comes from, the conditions of those involved, the environmental ramifications of fast food production, the nippl… <rant maximum allowable length reached>

F: Anger
What the fuck?
You fuckin’ barstool
There is a maximum length for rants?
I didn’t know that; it makes me very angry, oh yes indeed
Fuckin McDonalds cheeseburgers


G: Ironically
What the fuck kind of a word is ironical; I guess it would have been too much to ask to have a decent name for ironical. It’s a stupid moronical word

*$$* This entire rant (and all sub-rants etc contained within) has not been endorsed by the wonderful people at the greatest corporation in the whole universe – McDonalds *$$*

mmm… Subway

Sunday 09/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
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Norms

Everyone who is not willing to:
Think for, or be themselves.

Deriving from the word ‘Normal’
While normal has traditionally been considered to be a good thing to be; traditionally people have also clearly been fucktards; just look around you, we have fucked the planet that we live on, not real bright eh!!
Norms are everywhere

You don’t have to ‘dare to be different’; if you do that you are just another norm
Be whoever you are (unless you are a Bogan; way too many Bogans out there already)
Stand up for what you believe in
Dress how you want to dress
Listen to the music that you like
Don’t follow or make trends
Give a fuck by not giving a fuck
Express yourself (no, not like Madonna; like you!!)

Tuesday 06/01/2009
by Luke Warm January 6, 2009
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Nothing

All that is left when there is no love
I am nothing; there is nothing; nothing means anything without you.

What else have i thought of all year: Nothing
What else interests me anymore: Nothing
What used to have meaning, now means: Nothing

What do i have to look forward to now that you have made me completely random: Nothing but pain and emptiness.

There is nothing but love
Its up your bum, cant you feel it?
by Luke Warm October 18, 2008
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Playing stupid buggers

Somewhat similar to Playing silly buggers
Playing stupid buggers is however never used affectionately or humorously; it is generally used in one of two different ways:

1. To refer to someone deliberately doing something wrong that is likely to have ramifications.

2. To refer to someone doing something really stupid that is likely to not end well at all
ex1. I dont know what she is up to, but knowing how her mind works; she is most likely playing stupid buggers

ex2.
Bogan #1 - Why are you in the hospital Bogan?

Bogan #2 - I broke my left armpit, right earlobe, right funny bone and my left nipple.

Bogan #1 - How did you do that you twit?

Bogan #2 - Well its a funny story you see, I was walking around in you mums hot knickers when...

Bogan #1 - ...oi, ive warned you before smartarse; you talk about my mums hot knickers again and I will break your appendix for you!!!

Bogan #2 - Sorry!! dude you got to lay off of the red meat and cheeseburgers, dont get your mums hot knickers in a twist

Bogan #1 Thumps Bogan #2

Bogan #2 - Oww, my fuckin appendix, you nasty fudgin' barstool

Bogan #1 - I did warn you mungbean

Bogan #2 - fair enough i guess; to tell you the truth I jumped off of the roof on my rollerblades with a bowling ball

Bogan #1 - So you were playing stupid buggers then, thats all I needed to know, good luck getting that Darwin award, dont give up on the dream

Bogan #2 - You didnt let me finish!!, anyway, there I was minding my own business on my roof, with my rollerblades and bowling ball wearing your mums hot knickers when...

Bogan #1 - You stupid son of a bitch...

***Censored*** ***Censored*** ***Censored*** ***Censored***

Note: its not really censored I just thought writing down those Batman sounds of violence was rather gay

Note #2: There is nothing wrong with being gay, everyone has the Freedom and The right to make the choice of who they want to root. Regardless of your sexual orientation (Im with the Church of Cliff Richard at the moment personally) please have a good read of the Guide to relationships

Cool... 13 cross references!!
I wonder if Narcissism is defined here?

Sunday 02/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
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Woolly Bush

1. Common name of the Australian native plant species 'Adenanthos sericeus'

2. Expansive growth of hair; in an area thats best kept bare.
I bet she has the biggest baddest woolly bush; Im scared, I need to be held.

Damn girl; there aint no way Im going down there till you have mowed the lawn.

Bogan #1: Dude, she looks woolly.
Bogan #2: Yep, sure is.
Bogan #3: No way dude, you didnt. That is so luke warm.
Bogan #2: Ive been exploring that for the last couple of weeks. Didnt your mother ask where I was?
Bogan #1: Too funny dude; he's been in your mums hot knickers again
Bogan #3: Bite me. Have you found any treasure in there?
Bogan #2: Sorry dude; I was miles away, thinking about your mums hot knickers again. No treasure, but I did catch a shitload of crabs and its wall to wall scrot-rot down there.
All bogans together: mmm... woolly bush
by Luke Warm August 6, 2008
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Church of Cliff Richard

Abstaining from sexual activities for whatever reason

Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
There are a wide variety of circumstances/choices that may qualify one for induction into the Church of Cliff Richard.

These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love

Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:

And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:

“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”

Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.

Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.

Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”

Saturday 20/12/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
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Scrot rot

Slang abbreviation of the fungal disease 'Scrophulareaceae Rot'

Although this invigorating fungi is primarily to be found growing on plants within the Scrophulareaceae family; it can also commonly be observed (under magnification) on Woolly bush (Adenanthos serecieus) and on the hirsute gonad pouch of the lesser brained Random bogan
Bogan1: "Tafe was so luke warm today; it is a good thing I had the scrot rot to keep me company"
Bogan2 (bogan in denial of being a bogan): You are such a Bogan

Dude1: "Dude, I have to tell you something; I dont think you are going to be krossd about it"
Dude2: "Dude, you know you can tell me anything dude. You're like my brother from another mother, dude"
Dude1: Well since you brought that up. I caught the scrot rot from you mums hot knickers dude; I'm sorry dude, but Im so scared, please hold me dude"
Dude2: Fuck off you Random bogan mother fucker
Dude1: Fair enough dude

In all seriousness folks, we have to inform you that the risk of contracting 'Scrot rot' in todays world of automobiles, double ended purple dildo bongs and other such fancy stuff is all too real.
We must protect ourselves; we must preserve our way of life for the good of humanity; for the survival of the earth herself.
Please; if you care you can help, you can make a real difference – it will only take half an hour or so a week out of your busy life, and it is both satisfying and easy to do. Take the time to shave or wax your 'fun zone' - it is the only way we can contain this epidemic and save countless souls the undeniable agony of itchy nuts.

Thankyou for your consideration of this matter.

This community service announcement was generously brought to you by the guys n’ gals down at:
Be a better Bogan inc.
Bobs dildo shop “From big to small, we shall fill them all”
And
Lionels house of Mirkin “mmm… Lionels”
by Luke Warm October 21, 2008
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