53 definitions by Luigi
Could be high school, but also is husband's school, where men learn the fine art of pleasing women and leaving the toilet seat in a righteous position.
Husbands in remote Kreplachistan still attend "Poosiwippauniversitaat" or "School for Husbands." It's as mandatory before a Kreplachi wedding as a prenup in Beverly Hills.
Potential husbands learn important skills like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn without prompting, cleaning up after the goats in the yard, running errands and putting down the toilet seat.
"It is a difficult habit to break if your mother did not teach you, as a young boy, to do this," remarks Hayseed Fuzzlov, one of the students who hoped he would marry well as a result of his studies. "I always use the toilet with the seat down," confides the more savvy Fabian Goatchek. "My mother trained me well."
It is said that the best brides will reject any proposal from a potential husband who doesn't possess the distinctive diploma, a whip crossed with a rolling pin tatooed on a tanned cat skin. "I wouldn't want a woman who didn't want me to have this schooling," remarks Igo Bonkers, a young man with a flourishing mustache, traditional in this mountainous land and useful for straining the bugs and leaves out of the strong Kreplachi tea "She would be a kind of a slut if she didn't." Unfortunately, after he uttered the Kreplachi word for "slut", three Amazons charged out of the bushes and clubbed him senseless with rolling pins. Such words are beneath the classically trained male students, and violations of the rules are judged harshly.
Advanced studies in diaper changing, doing dishes without breakage, foot-rubbing and finding gainful employment are available for those who really are serious about a good marriage, and remedial courses are typically completely booked months in advanced.
The final exam is said to be very tough: "They might ask you something difficult like 'Does this dress make me look fat' and you'd better have the right answer. You could die right on the spot if you get it wrong" Bonkers tells the reporter.
Last year eight men didn't make it through the course. But even their mothers weren't terribly sorry. "They just didn't learn. Not that we didn't try." remarked one mother, whose late son was a notable dunce. "He deserved what he got."
Potential husbands learn important skills like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn without prompting, cleaning up after the goats in the yard, running errands and putting down the toilet seat.
"It is a difficult habit to break if your mother did not teach you, as a young boy, to do this," remarks Hayseed Fuzzlov, one of the students who hoped he would marry well as a result of his studies. "I always use the toilet with the seat down," confides the more savvy Fabian Goatchek. "My mother trained me well."
It is said that the best brides will reject any proposal from a potential husband who doesn't possess the distinctive diploma, a whip crossed with a rolling pin tatooed on a tanned cat skin. "I wouldn't want a woman who didn't want me to have this schooling," remarks Igo Bonkers, a young man with a flourishing mustache, traditional in this mountainous land and useful for straining the bugs and leaves out of the strong Kreplachi tea "She would be a kind of a slut if she didn't." Unfortunately, after he uttered the Kreplachi word for "slut", three Amazons charged out of the bushes and clubbed him senseless with rolling pins. Such words are beneath the classically trained male students, and violations of the rules are judged harshly.
Advanced studies in diaper changing, doing dishes without breakage, foot-rubbing and finding gainful employment are available for those who really are serious about a good marriage, and remedial courses are typically completely booked months in advanced.
The final exam is said to be very tough: "They might ask you something difficult like 'Does this dress make me look fat' and you'd better have the right answer. You could die right on the spot if you get it wrong" Bonkers tells the reporter.
Last year eight men didn't make it through the course. But even their mothers weren't terribly sorry. "They just didn't learn. Not that we didn't try." remarked one mother, whose late son was a notable dunce. "He deserved what he got."
by Luigi August 10, 2004
Extremely ugly clothing, based on trucker-style caps and overalls. The idea is that the wearer is SO pretty and SO rich that they can overspend on a fugly item of clothing because it's in style and look good. If you tried to wear it and looked more like Bea Arthur than Paris Hilton, you'd look like a goob, which is the idea.
Paris Hilton popularized wearing Von Dutch clothing, then fulfilled her destiny by imitating white trash on her reality tv show.
by Luigi August 6, 2004
An inmate in prison. Room and board is paid for by the state, hence "guest" of the State.
Someone who is incarcerated.
Someone who is incarcerated.
by Luigi August 15, 2004
The top or dominant partner in a gay pair. Both he and the busycheekee are engaging in the art of busycheekistry
by Luigi July 12, 2004
A dangerous disease of writing software: the original set of features is constantly added to by the product managers, driving the software engineers batty and causing massive delays in release of the product.
by Luigi July 9, 2004
by Luigi July 11, 2004
"What Would Rory Gilmore Do?" When there is a difficult path ahead in life, ask yourself this question, and all will be good. This is a spin of WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) based on the Gilmore Girls series on The WB.
Oh my gosh! I've moved to college, but I miss mommy so much. WWRGD? Ahh, thats it... Rory would go home to mom and have a series of bad dialogues about nothing.
by Luigi May 18, 2004