2 definitions by LordessStemora
A Jon is no ordinary man (and we all know men are but flat-chested women who do not menstruate - although scholars still hotly debate if Jons do).
A guy is only a Jon if he satisfies ALL three of the following criteria.
1. Believes he be better than everyone else.
Eg: (Guy wearing a "I be so much better than you" t-shirt walks by)
Wizened old observer: "Kids these days are such Jons!"
2. Possesses a peculiar penchant for shattering glassware.
Eg: (A drinking establishment - that sells alcohols) *sound of shattering glass*
Weary bartender (who serves alcohols): *sigh* "Guess we have another Jon here today".
3. Has a thing for seagulls (optionally runs a seagull worship cult)
Person1: (Stares adoringly at a seagull that flies by overhead)
"Is there anything more musical than a seagull's cry?"
Person2: (looks worried)
"... I know your name is Jon, but I didn't think you'd be such a 'JON' Jon, y'know?"
A guy is only a Jon if he satisfies ALL three of the following criteria.
1. Believes he be better than everyone else.
Eg: (Guy wearing a "I be so much better than you" t-shirt walks by)
Wizened old observer: "Kids these days are such Jons!"
2. Possesses a peculiar penchant for shattering glassware.
Eg: (A drinking establishment - that sells alcohols) *sound of shattering glass*
Weary bartender (who serves alcohols): *sigh* "Guess we have another Jon here today".
3. Has a thing for seagulls (optionally runs a seagull worship cult)
Person1: (Stares adoringly at a seagull that flies by overhead)
"Is there anything more musical than a seagull's cry?"
Person2: (looks worried)
"... I know your name is Jon, but I didn't think you'd be such a 'JON' Jon, y'know?"
Person1: My boss is such a Jon!
Person2: Oh no! I had one of those. Do NOT take any glassware there and best try to put up with his delusions of grandeur. I just hope you don't get pulled into any seagull cults.
Person2: Oh no! I had one of those. Do NOT take any glassware there and best try to put up with his delusions of grandeur. I just hope you don't get pulled into any seagull cults.
by LordessStemora December 2, 2020
Plato might have us believe that men are but featherless bipeds without wings. However, in truth, Men are nothing but flat-chested women who do not menstruate.
(An alien space-craft observing earth)
Alien 1: I see a building and many earthlings who all appear to be of flat chests.
Alien2: Presumably, they also do not menstruate.
Alien1: It is settled - they must all be 'Men'.
Alien 1: I see a building and many earthlings who all appear to be of flat chests.
Alien2: Presumably, they also do not menstruate.
Alien1: It is settled - they must all be 'Men'.
by LordessStemora December 2, 2020