LordJenal's definitions

Virgin Parents

Involves two virgins (one male and one female). The male will masturbate into a container, suck it up into a syringe and then inject it into the females womb/vagina to get her pregnant despite the fact that neither of them have ever had intercourse before.

Imagine being the child of virgin parents!

by LordJenal August 9, 2024

You look about 15

An exaggerated way of saying someone in their late teens/early twenties looks young for their age. They may be chance look actually 15 but usually they look a little older than 15 but younger than their actual age.

22 year old: Could I get a litre of vodka please?
Cashier: Do you have ID on you?
Friend: HAHAHA! YOU LOOK ABOUT 15!

by LordJenal May 14, 2024

Face Rapist

A term used by shop workers. Facing means to move stock to the front and have the front label facing forward to look perfect. Something us shop workers do all day. A face rapist is someone (often a customer) who will come along and ruin your hard work by taking an item and making your facing look awful.

Customer: *Picks up item off shelf*
Worker: WTF ARE YOU DOING TAKING THAT!!!!! I JUST FACED THAT AND IT LOOKED PERFECT UNTIL YOU RUINED IT YOU FACE RAPIST!!!!!

by LordJenal March 30, 2024

Nostril Assault

When someone does something that smells bad such fart or have a massive shit so that it stinks really bad and "assaults" said persons nostrils.

Person 1: *farts*
Person 2: Jesus Christ, why would you do that, that's Nostril assault!

by LordJenal March 21, 2024

Unbeerlievable

When your wife catches you cracking open YET ANOTHER can!

Man: *Cracks open can*
Wife: What are you doing?
Man: Nothing
Wife: What do you mean nothing you just opened another one. That's unbeerlievable!

by LordJenal February 23, 2024

Your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired

If you work as a cashier in a store that sells age restricted items such as alcohol you may get underage girls coming into the store with tonnes of makeup on to make themselves look older. This can result in you not asking them for ID because you think they look old enough to not need it but you end up getting fired anyway because they are actually underage.

For the guys, it is "your shitty beard is gonna get me fired."

Underage girl: *Places bottle of wine on counter*
Cashier: ID please
Underage girl: But I'm 30!
Cashier: Nope, your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired!

by LordJenal December 17, 2023

Secret Sex

When you are in a relationship and have sex with someone other than your partner/spouse. The reason it's secret sex is because if your partner or spouse finds out. YOU! ARE! SCREWED!

Although I'm married, I had secret sex with some French girl last night. Hope my misses doesn't find out!

by LordJenal November 16, 2023