LordJenal's definitions

Your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired

If you work as a cashier in a store that sells age restricted items such as alcohol you may get underage girls coming into the store with tonnes of makeup on to make themselves look older. This can result in you not asking them for ID because you think they look old enough to not need it but you end up getting fired anyway because they are actually underage.

For the guys, it is "your shitty beard is gonna get me fired."

Underage girl: *Places bottle of wine on counter*
Cashier: ID please
Underage girl: But I'm 30!
Cashier: Nope, your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired!

by LordJenal December 17, 2023

Eczema

The biggest bitch on the entire planet where you can't stop scratching yourself to death in god knows how many spots in a relentless and long-lasting way and it always comes back! Leaves red bleeding and itchy patches in all sorts of spots. Seriously, sometimes it feels like you want to scratch all your skin off to the point of where your a skeleton, it's that bloody bad!

I hate eczema it's such a bitch!

by LordJenal May 18, 2022

A Flat Miner

What you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a Mineshaft?
A♭ Minor!
(A Flat Miner)

by LordJenal May 13, 2022

Vending Machine

The evilest scammer ever. Charges two quid for a bag of Steak McCoys. If you were already having a shit day then a vending machine will make things even worse in the cheekiest fucking way!

I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING MY VIRGINITY TONIGHT AND I FOUND OUT I WASN'T AT THE LAST MOMENT AND TO TOP THINGS OFF THAT FUCKING VENDING MACHINE SCAMMED ME 2 QUID FOR A BAG OF MCCOYS AFTER ALL THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS EVENING. SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!

by LordJenal June 20, 2022

Sex on the Television

It's alright yes. But do make sure that you don't fall off.

I'm fed up of sex on the television. They all keep falling off.

by LordJenal December 10, 2022

Face Rapist

A term used by shop workers. Facing means to move stock to the front and have the front label facing forward to look perfect. Something us shop workers do all day. A face rapist is someone (often a customer) who will come along and ruin your hard work by taking an item and making your facing look awful.

Customer: *Picks up item off shelf*
Worker: WTF ARE YOU DOING TAKING THAT!!!!! I JUST FACED THAT AND IT LOOKED PERFECT UNTIL YOU RUINED IT YOU FACE RAPIST!!!!!

by LordJenal March 30, 2024

See it. Say it. Sorted.

A phrase that railway companies and British Transport Police say over and over to try and deliberately agitate passengers of trains or those inside a train station.

*Announcement in train station*: See it. Say it. Sorted.
Passenger: AH NO! NOT AGAIN! AH! SO ANNOYING!

by LordJenal July 27, 2023