Longrod Von Hugedong's definitions

Brain boner

The feeling you get when you are having a lively discussion or listening to an engaging lecture and everything makes sense and it gives you a bunch of new ideas about the topic at hand. The intellectual equivalent of an erection.

DeSean: oh man, that lecture given by Dr. Kobilka about G protein-coupled receptor dynamics gave me a massive brain boner.

Derrick: uhh...right, yeah, totally dude. *pssst* Jimmy, I think we need to re-evaluate our friendship with DeSean...

Jimmy: agreed.

by Longrod Von Hugedong May 26, 2016

Blackin

Essentially the compliment to 'blackout', as used in the term 'blackout drunk', wherein an individual comes around from their supposed state of extreme intoxication and into a surprised and often traumatized state. Is often reached a few hours after peak alcohol consumption and in the middle of a compromising or otherwise unwanted situation. Not to be confused with the other kind of 'blackout drunk', which refers to when an individual actually loses consciousness. Somehow, the two are used interchangeably these days by the youth.

Cletus: Did you see bongqueesha last night at that toga party? Bitch was in the middle of a cunnilingus kegstand when she fell down, looked around, and stumbled off vomiting!

DeSean: Damn, talk about a blackin to remember.

by Longrod Von Hugedong April 22, 2013

Intellectual blue balls

When you are engaged by an intellectually stimulating lecture/address/speech, or even just an enthralling conversation, and the speaker approaches addressing a topic of great importance to you, but then they abruptly change course and trend into new areas of discussion, leaving you with an overwhelming feeling of frustration and angst.

President Obama: one of the great challenges of our generation is to find an answer to the question about whether Han Solo or Greedo was the first to shoot...

Cletus: OMG, yes, yes, please, oh god, keep going, yes, yes, YES! ...

President Obama: that being said, we must engage in more constructive discourse about important clauses of the Trans-Pacific Partnership, particularly how it will help combat the illegal logging industry.

Cletus: wait, what? Intellectual blue balls...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

by Longrod Von Hugedong May 26, 2016

Premature eHAculation

An eruption of loud and uncontrollable laughter either well before the punchline of a joke or in a situation/conversation where it is extremely inappropriate to do so.

Tom Hanks: I have AIDS.

Peter Griffin: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Premature eHAculation.

by Longrod Von Hugedong December 9, 2016

Big Joe and the Twins

A guys dick and his balls.

Sally and her four daughters need to meet up with Big Joe and the Twins.

by Longrod Von Hugedong July 2, 2007

Breitbarticle

An article/report/story in the news that has little to no basis in fact and/or was clearly written with the intent to push some sort of political agenda i.e., fake news. Typically found online on fringe, far-right websites and presented as though it is legitimate journalism, most commonly covering topics like politics, race relations, climate change, etc.

Person 1: I just read a story online about a child sex ring run by Hillary Clinton in the basement of some pizza parlor...how crazy is that??

Person 2: Oh yeah? Well I just read a report that Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having a secret love affair...it's true!!

Person 3: Oh my god, those are both ridiculous breitbarticles, just stop. Here, let's put our phones down and go outside...

by Longrod Von Hugedong December 9, 2016

iCramp

The chronic, painful muscular tension in the thumb/palms caused by prolonged typing on an iPhone keyboard

River: Ay dawg, why you got that ice pack on ya hand like that?

Cletus: Ya boy had some gnarly iCramping going on earlier, gotta rally for my planned jack-off marathon tonight.

by Longrod Von Hugedong April 18, 2013