Lon's definitions

The Hammer

A way of describing something as being overwhelmingly good, or having a superior quality that sets it apart from the rest. The idea is that the quality "hits you like a hammer."

Dude, that pizza we had last night was The Hammer.

by Lon March 11, 2008

jackoffsturbate

A combination between the phrase "jacking off" and the word "masturbate." Only used when you're extremely horny.

Holy shit, watching that porno made me so damn horny. I'm going to go home and jackoffsturbate.

by Lon August 18, 2005

mad minute

A math game given to elementary school students to help them learn their multiplication tables.

The premise of the game, is that you are given three rows of ten basic multiplicaton problems, in which you are supposed to answer as many as you can in sixty seconds. If you manage to finish them all, you move on to 4, 5, and 6 rows.

I was the Mad Minute champion in grade school.

by Lon September 5, 2005

Vanna White Job

The task of standing up and manually changing the channel on the television control panel to find something entertaining to watch while your friends and family sit there and force you to keep changing the channels.

I stood up to get some pizza, but instead, I got stuck with the Vanna White Job.

by Lon December 28, 2005

britney spears

A female pop artist who's pussy has been invaded more times than Poland.

Britney Spears is blown out.

by Lon June 5, 2005

buffalo wings

One of the greatest food creations of all time. Buffalo Wings are chicken wings that are breaded, and then coated in "Buffalo Sauce" which is almost always liquified red pepper, but some restaurants add other ingredients.

There is great debate amongs b-wing lovers about who has the best wings. It is generally agreed upon that Hooters has the best wings in the world, while Buffalo Wild Wings comes in a close second.

Plus, they go great with beer.

Buffalo Wings are a must for any sports party.

by Lon August 8, 2005

Pube fairy

The magical fairy who comes in the middle of the night and leaves single black pubic hairs on the outer rims of toilet seats and urinals.

Dude, the urinal in the bathroom of the movie theater was totally visited by the pube fairy.

by Lon August 29, 2007