Lig Na Baste's definitions

Final Fantasy VII Fankids

Pigheaded, ignorant sheep-minded fools who refuse to admit that games have improved in the decade since Final Fantasy VII was released. Worship an overhyped video game because it is fashionable to do so. Also tend to target Final Fantasy VI and VIII as the popularity driven trend of hate.

Any attempt to improve or advance the stale, trite formula of: "Stand in a line, pick fight/magic/Item from a menu and wait.
-Or, moving past interface/designs that only existed due to hardware limitations-
are met with fear, irrational rage, insults and a refusal to accept change or improvement.

Immune to logic, common sense, counter arguments or objective, even handed thought.

Final Fantasy VII fankids want Final Fantasy VII over and over with graphical improvements only. They are also arrogant enough to define the entire series by superficial means like "being turn-based".
Nothing will ever be good enough because they don't want it to be and don't care how ignorant and stupid they look.

by Lig Na Baste June 10, 2008

My Immortal

Fanfiction supposedly written by a one, Terra Gillespie. Though many theorize that this work and it's author are entirely satire.

If it is satire, it is on an Andy Kaufman level of genius.

The story stars Terra as Ebony Dark'Ness Dementia Raven Way. A self described goff (spelling Goth with oddly situational Cockney phonetics) vampire (with straight teeth) who loves Hot Topic and hates herself some "prepz" (A word I never heard anyone, outside of a high school, speak with any sincerity short of A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell.

The story features many unique and unfortunate points of interest.

1. Virtually every chapter starts with the author yelling and swearing at the reader base. Threatening to stop writing if at least five good reviews aren't posted. Essentially holding crap for hostage.

2. Character names are apparently suggestions. Each character, including her own, is systematically misspelled in a way that puts the greatest telemarketers to shame. Watching her try to spell "McGonagall" is sad, like watching a limbless man in a three legged race.

3. Harry Potter is now a vampire and, in a veritable orgy of creativity, refers to himself as "Vampire".

4. Dumbledore swears like a sailor. Dropping more f-bombs than a Dennis Leary standup set.

5. Voldemort gives Ebony a gun at one point to kill Vampire Potter, and speaks in Ye' Olde Rene Faire Englishe.

6. Ebony is in a gothic metal band called "Bloody Gothic Rose 666". Apparently they sound like a mix of between Good Charlette, Slipknot, My Chemical Romance and really bad idea.
other members are B'loody Mary (her jack off friend), Vampire, Draco, Ron (aka Diabolo) and motherfucking HAGRID (on washboard bass).

7. Apparently the dress code of Hogwarts has been replaced with a giant, magic Hot Topic that Good Charlotte routinely plays concerts at. I also hear Fred and George are now running the Hogsmeade Mall's Spender Gifts selling magic animated porn postcards, tin ankh/pentagram/potleaf jewelry and, fart based boardgames.

8. Many of the 45 chapters are dedicated, almost entirely, to the vampiric clown outfits she swathes herself in.

9. Even though she HATES "prepz" (a term that no one uses outside of high school) all of her favorite bands are ironically NOT Goth. Good Charlotte and My Chemical Romance are pop groups.

10. "I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was, because he's a major fucking hottie."
...Think about that last line...why would you want to be related to someone you thought was sexy!?!?

My Immortal is either the single greatest work of viral satire since Chad Warden Or, the single greatest strike against public school systems to date.

by Lig Na Baste July 16, 2009

Atlus.com Message Boards

Poorly moderated message board for the video game company Atlus.

Members consist of arrogant, childish elitists whose love of relatively obscure niche market Japanese RPGs has created a high school-caliber clique of virginal losers completely oblivious to how bad they make the fans look. Constant trolling and flame wars are the norm. Posts about who should be banned and attacks on people who are -at best- tame by comparison to the popular members are common. 90% of each thread devolves into "random humor" and inside jokes and/or circle jerks. Popularity is based on who you make fun of and reject and, who you accept and never question -both of which, are determined by the high post counters.

Moderators are more concerned with being viewed as "cool" by the small group of attention whoring popular members while enforcing said clique-minded mobbing until no longer personally entertaining.

Atlus.com message boards is THE place to go for gamers who think games should ride solely on unorthodox character designs and limited edition sales.

by Lig Na Baste March 5, 2008

Donkey Puncher

AKA: DP
An alien frat guy whose dad totally owns a car dealership, had to get hammered to get his lung tat cause it hurt like eight bitches on a bitch boat and totally rocks the seven shades of shit out of your face, motherfuckers.
From: Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Episode: Frat Aliens (2003)
Voiced by: Patton Oswalt

Frylock: Okay... then what's your real name?
DP: Bros call me DP, short for donkey-puncher, get it?
Frylock: Yeah.. I do.
DP: Sometimes I'm donkey puncherelo, or D-to-the-P, or Big DP, or uh.. King Donko of Punchstania.
Master Shake: Dude, the player. Dude party! Party Dude!!! PD!!!
Frylock: No, I need your real name. What your mother calls you.
DP: Ah... You know what, just try DP.
Master Shake: Dude pal! That's what you should be... cause you're my dude...pal!
DP: Dude, your buddy here is givin' me a rash.

by Lig Na Baste May 5, 2008

Fanboy

An extreme fan or follower of a particular medium or concept, whether it be sports, television, film directors, video games (the most common usage), etc.

Known for a complete lack of objectivity in relation to their preferred focus. Usually argue with circular logic that they refuse to acknowledge. Arguments or debates with such are usually futile. Every flaw is spun into semi-virtues and everything else, blown to comedic, complimentary proportions.

Known for using the phrase
"Object of affection = Best Ever"
However, while people only really say that as hyperbole, fanboys truly believe it.

Troll the internet to spread the gospel.

Insult/chastise others for using public forums to express an objective opinion, no matter how constructive or, respectful it may be. (Go ahead and admit that it's a good game/movie/etc. This fact and anything else will be promptly ignored in favor of cherry picking the negative, and beating you over the head with it.

Tend to resort to petty annoyance replies when backed against the wall. Usually grammar attacks and non-replies.

"Final Fantasy VII is the best RPG ever!"
"Ocarina of Time is the best game ever!"
"Linux is the best OS ever!"
"Xbox is the best console ever!"
"Dragonball Z is the best show ever!"

The sad thing is, fanboys don't realize, that these companies that fuel their passion, don't really give a damn about us. To me, defending a multi-national corporation like their your own family, is ridiculous. These organizations don't come to your house and help you when you're sick, they don't help you move, or drive you to the airport. They don't support you in any way. It's a business, not a friendship. As soon as you can no longer buy their product, you disappear to them.

by Lig Na Baste June 30, 2008

Nexon Customer Service

Santa Clause.
Easter Bunny.
Good Customer Service from nexon.
A funny Family Circus cartoon.
Bisexual, Vampire Teen Wizards.

What do these things have in common?

None of them are real. They're all imaginary.

I will explain Nexon's approach to customer service in one sentence and then some more sentences after:
"We have your money, fuck you, we have your money."

Example:

You forgot your password.
You click the link "recover PW" under log in.
You are NOT sent your password. You have your real password reset. You are then sent a temporary password to log in with.

Your only option to check your account info is a reset password option. There is no info on your account for you to review. NOTHING.

When you attempt to change your password to a new one, you'll find that your temporary PW doesn't count toward changing it.

Thus, they've completely blocked you from ever logging back in on that account, as even if you remember your old PW somehow, it's now been reset to a random string of letters and numbers.

So basically, you need to remember your PW to recover your forgotten PW.

To use their customer service to open a ticket, you'll need to log in.

The ticket must consist of your two security questions, the second of which, ISN'T TOLD TO YOU.

Not only that but Nexon has been known to change your security questions without notice!
So if you forgot that question, you can open a separate ticket to recover THAT!

Oh yeah, you can only have one ticket open at a time. It may also takes literally months to get a response.
If you somehow miss the notice of this fact, ALL of your tickets will be deleted.

If your email changes.
...You're fucked. Because they ONLY send your info to your original email. If it was closed for any reason. You're fucked.
Why bother helping you when they can just wait for you to make a new account and spend more money starting over?

If you are a friend of a GM you WILL be allowed to cheat and hack the game without punishment. This has been proven countless times.

One player actually sent a report about themselves hacking and was given a canned response thanking the player for the report. Proving Nexon isn't paying attention, nor do they give a rat's ass.

Nexon is now infamous for having THE worst customer service of all time. Maple Story is the third highest grossing MMORPG (making 100-500 million dollars annually) in the world and despite this, their security, forum/website, staff and policies are not only unprofessional, they are underhanded, deceitful, spiteful and shamelessly evil.

Like military intelligence, "acting naturally", jumbo shrimp and Microsoft Works -Nexon Customer Service is an oxymoron.

by Lig Na Baste July 16, 2009

Hardcore Gamers

(This commentary is written from the view of someone who technically qualifies as a Hardcore Gamer but, absolutely hates the majority of his peers. If you happen to be an HC gamer, that still manages to NOT look down on all those who don't conform to your style or that you are NOT somehow owed something from your hobby, than this does not apply to you. Not all HCG's are like this. The below is however, how the vocal majority wish to be seen. This is for them, and the bad name they give us all.)

Hardcore Gamer:

A very vocal, arrogant minority of gamers that assume that the gaming industry revolves (or should revolve) around them.

Consider their own skills, and preferences and, those of their peers, to be the only acceptable use of a recreational medium.

Often use the term "True Gamer". An arrogant, idiotic term invented by insecure people to justify their own gaming style.

The irony is, the gaming industry was born from the notion, that these are games, pinball dating back as far as the 40's was designed for people to relax and enjoy.
Pong brought it home, followed by other game systems that were designed for fun and recreation.

However, like all hobbies, there will always be those "stop having fun guys" that ruin it for everyone else.
People who feel that the industry belongs to them.
People who fail to realize that there will always be a place for them but really just want it all. If casual players get their way the whole industry will collapse and the world will end.
People who adopted the medium as their own and decided that they were the only ones worthy.

Refuse to accept that, like board games, video games are made to be enjoyed. They aren't made for you to feel good about yourself. there are hardcore boardgamers out there too and, they also miss the point.

Hardcore gamers are no less ridiculous than a "pin the tail on the donkey" elitist, who shows up to a birthday party with their own pins and blindfold, won't shut up about you're "spinning all wrong" then looks shocked, as to why the rest of the guests find them socially repulsive.

Hardcore gamers are generally cliquish, rude, snide and belligerent.
When they aren't attacking casuals, they're attacking each other for the dumbest shit.

"Yeah you beat that boss but, I did it without using half my abilities, blindfolded, with no healing items, on hardcore extreme killer blood-hell mode!"
Don't sell yourself short kid, you also did it with your head up your ass.

This comes from a culture where sarcasm is way more important than ideas.

To be hardcore, a game pretty much needs to be "difficult".
That's all hardcore games really are. Tedious and long, and dragged out and hard.
Because the life of a hardcore gamer generally isn't very taxing, they can turn to games to "challenge" them.

Often times they'll wax on about how casual gamers are gradually killing the market, while ignoring the fact that the market has always had room for both players and, that some people have a life to kick their ass. That, when they sit down to play a video game, it's not so damn important that a player needs to turn it into some perfectionist job you don't get payed for.

That maybe, a person who doesn't piss 90% of their paycheck on games also deserves to enjoy a game.

Me? I qualify as a hardcore gamer, but I hate the term. I'm ashamed of HC gamers and how awful they make gamers look. How ignorant they are. How arrogant and myopic. How they taunt and belittle people simply for failing to take a fucking game too seriously.

Hardcore gamers want the entire medium of electronic games for themselves. They don't care about anyone else. They're selfish, ignorant tools who want to stay in the basement, never getting laid.

There is a big difference, between wanting a challenge and, demanding everyone should. See past your own god damn skills for once in your lives. Learn to accept that not everyone can sit in front of a monitor for hours mastering a game.
If you need to insult a person's gaming preference, you're the one that needs to stop playing.

Hardcore gamers want games to be hard for the sake of compensating for an empty, easy life. They have nothing else to be proud of so they look to gaming for some shred of pride.
If only they displayed that pride with some manner of grace and civility.

by Lig Na Baste April 17, 2009