LiberaceHudson's definitions

Big Pony

The slang term for going to No.2

"Mom, I need to go to big pony. I'm desperate."
"Can't you wait?"
"I can mom but I'll shit myself."
"For using such foul language you can shit your pants you disgusting little boy. In fact I'm going to hammer a giant cork up there. That will give you something to think about."
"Oh please mom, not the cork again. I was all blocked up for weeks."

by LiberaceHudson April 19, 2018

Morgan Hendrix

The belief that Morgan Freeman is in actual fact the late and great guitarist, Jimi Hendrix.

"I don't care what you say, Morgan Freeman is actually Jimi Hendrix and it's all one big cover up."
"You're a fucking loony. No way is Morgan Hendrix. That's just crazy talk."

by LiberaceHudson September 25, 2017

The Poofter

Very much like The Pooter, the handheld device which realistically simulates the sound of a loud rasping fart, The Poofter offers up a more discreet sounding farting noise very much like a hiss or someone trying to slip out a fart unnoticed. It's used exclusively by prankster members of the male gay community. It's a veritable hit at soirées.

Julian is employing The Poofter again to great effect. He's also slipped one out without anyone hearing (due to getting roughly buttfucked that afternoon) so those around him can appreciate both the realistic sound of a gay man farting and the smell. The lesbians love it.

by LiberaceHudson October 10, 2017

wank tunnel

The term given to the tight grip chronic wankers (fappers) utilise to get them off after hours and hours of edging to pornography, usually of the bizarre kind such as granny porn, shit fetishes or rectal fisting.

Arnold hand to employ a wank tunnel in the end otherwise he would have been sitting there with his micro-dick pawing away at it for days with no release in sight.

by LiberaceHudson October 10, 2017

blueberry buttcheeks

Blueberry buttcheeks are when your bottom is spanked so hard and for so long that they no longer resemble rosy cheeks but instead look more like a blueberry tart. The spankee is usually in floods of tears at this point.

Uncle Richard threw me over his knee and gave my ass a damn good thrashing because he felt I was being impertinent. The fact I'm 39 and a headmistress and his penis erect throughout notwithstanding, I felt it wrong that he should leave me with blueberry buttcheeks for a simple misunderstanding. I came home and applied some antiseptic cream and slowly my ass is feeling like its old self - heavily sagging and puckered from all the ass fucking my husband seems to enjoy.

by LiberaceHudson September 25, 2017

scat party

A party in which people get naked and writhe around while people shit onto their bodies and into their mouths. A way to discern such a party (aside from the shocking whiff) is the presence of either a drained hot tub/swimming pool or several large inflatable paddling pools dotted around the premises.

Rachel was invited to a scat party in Hampstead. She was only too happy to go as she knew the hosts and they knew she loved her Jazz music. In fact, she counted Ella Fitzgerald as one of her favourite artists. Imagine her horror then when instead of people standing around drinking and informally chatting, listening to supremely gifted vocal Jazz musicians she instead walked in on a scrum of about 50 people all in various states of undress, sploshing about covered in human excrement and orgiastic excess. Being brought up rather well, she knew it would be rude to leave so got into the spirit of the proceedings. It wasn't long before she was on the receiving end of a particularly vicious Cleveland Steamer, administered by a punky looking young woman called Carol who was an administrator at the local hospital. She finally left at 2.30am however she vowed to never attend again.

by LiberaceHudson September 25, 2017

chunk-and-spunk

When you're plowing someone's ass only to find a bit of shit moving about inside there as well. Not the most romantic feeling in the world.

"I headed to G-A-Y in London because I needed to rump roast Russell who I had met a week before up on the Heath, He was most obliging. I bent him over in the toilets at the club and was giving him a right old walloping when I realised to my horror, that it was going to be a chunk-and-spunk kind of liaison. I was wearing a rubber but it still put me off as the stench hit me full on as I was pumping my load into him."

by LiberaceHudson April 19, 2018