Lezard Valeth's definitions

keine ups

Derived from the German word "keine" meaning none, and the urban term "ups" meaning an ability to jump. In the combined form it means any failure or the state of being a failure.

Person 1: *does something stupid*
Person 2: "You got keine ups!"

by Lezard Valeth September 1, 2003

two shakes of a lamb's tail

Quickly. The phrase is similar to "Before you can (insert action here)"

"I'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

by Lezard Valeth September 1, 2003

as a piece

An improper shortening of "as a piece of shit". This saying is similar to "as a bitch," in that it is meant to stress the preceeding adjective. This is the modern superlative. Instead of saying "This is the hottest day I've felt in some time." We have...

"It's hot as a piece."

by Lezard Valeth September 1, 2003

little slick

Derived from the Texas Hold 'Em hand big slick, having your two hole cards as an ace and a duce.

Consequently, not a very good hand, unless you're heads-up

I can't believe I won with little slick. I was sure someone would have a better kicker on the ace.

by Lezard Valeth May 13, 2004

totaled

Completely and utterly destroyed. Non-functional. Esp a car.

"I hit a tree in my Mustang."
"DUDE! It must have gotten totaled!"
"Indeed."

by Lezard Valeth September 1, 2003

weak

adj. An improper shortening of the phrase "made me weak" to simply the word "weak." This adjective implies that something is funny or otherwise capable of weakening one involved with it.

Person 1: *tells a funny joke*
Person 2: That was weak, yo.

In a good and correct world, person two would say, "That made me weak, yo."

Well, in a correct world, he wouldn't say yo, but whatever.

by Lezard Valeth May 25, 2003

heads-up

A term in many competitive games for 1 on 1 competition. One of its more common uses is in card games where the value of hands can change due to the number of people playing. Heads-up offers favoriable odds for high cards like aces and kings, even with sub-par kickers.

I went heads-up with Tyler and beat him with a boat on the river.

by Lezard Valeth May 13, 2004