Lârry Dângüs, esq.'s definitions

cracktivities

Activities which are routinely associated with the sale and use of crack cocaine. Cracktivities are normally characterized by the desperate style with which they are executed. Cracktivities often include (but are not limited to) such things as:

1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.

2. the typical smash and grab.

3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.

4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.

5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).

6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.

When passing through the city of Memphis, it is highly advisable to keep one's car windows rolled up and avoid stopping if at all possible. This will minimize the likelihood of your becoming entangled with the inevitably omnipresent cracktivities.

by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 4, 2008

The Oracle

A synonym for the interwebs, especially when used to seek very specific information for the purpose of settling an argument, wager, or simply to satisfy the randomly curious mind.

The Oracle is rarely consulted within the confines of a sketch pad, such as a crack house.

person a: 'When did George W. Bush get busted for cocaine possession?'

person b: 'I don't know - let's ask The Oracle!'

by Lârry Dângüs, esq. October 25, 2008

crimson twat stamp

The mark and/or odor that is left on an object after a nude menstruating woman has seated herself upon it.

Regular twat stamps are inherently all but invisible, but they may be easily detected by a person or animal with a keen sense of smell.

By contrast, crimson twat stamps are more distinctive, by both sight and odor.

see also: murder scene

Donnie's mattress looks like the aftermath of a Sex Pistols concert due to the excessive number of crimson twat stamps on it. One thing's for sure, he is not afraid of Aunt Flo.

by Lârry Dângüs, esq. October 24, 2008

ghetto wind chime

Any car with an alarm which is consistently activated by the slightest movement or vibration. Every low-income neighborhood has at least a few ghetto wind chimes present at all times. Frequently parked near sketch pads.

There are way too many ghetto wind chimes around here...they start sounding off every time a bird takes a shit on someone's windshield.

by Lârry Dângüs, esq. October 28, 2008

bladder juice

The liquid contained by the urinary bladder of many terrestrial animals, also known as pee-pee, piss, whiz or number one. In mammals, this liquid is frequently pungent and colored some shade of yellow. Bladder juice can be recycled as a beverage in states of dire emergency, and also for the lulz.

Sometimes when I'm suffering from cotton mouth while taking a piss, I will direct the whiz stream up to my pie hole and take a few sips of my delicious bladder juice.

by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 17, 2014

memesplaining

The act of explaining the meaning of the word meme to a person who does not understand it. Most people incorrectly believe that a meme is a picture with words added on top of it. This is actually an image macro. While some image macros are also memes, not all memes are image macros. The preceding three sentences are an example of memesplaining.

Hey, check out this meme I just made!

(sighs) Looks like I've got some memesplaining to do here....

by Lârry Dângüs, esq. October 25, 2016

needle cooties

While referring primarily to HIV and hepatitis, the term 'needle cooties' can apply to any malady which can be transmitted though the sharing of needles for intravenous drug use.

Charlie Sheen recently announced he has caught the needle cooties - winning!

by Lârry Dângüs, esq. March 1, 2016