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Lârry Dângüs, esq.'s definitions

poor man's hash

An alternate term for resin; specifically, the resin left behind on smoking paraphernalia as a by-product of cannabinoid consumption.
In desperate times, Dangus often found himself smoking poor man's hash off of old pipe screens as ghetto wind chimes rang out in the distance, a sure sign that cracktivities were transpiring on the stinking streets of Memphis.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 14, 2010
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spousal eunuch

A spousal eunuch is virtually identical to the 'spousal unit', but without the sex. Unlike ordinary eunuchs, spousal eunuchs usually have existing and potentially functional genitalia, but have stopped fucking their significant other for reasons which do not pertain to physical endowment.
I've been banging this married chick because her spousal eunuch can't get a boner without first being subjected to sexual domination. How refreshing it must be for her to get laid by a dude who doesn't have a ball gag lodged in his cake hole!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 20, 2010
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dildo shit

Exactly as the name implies, this is a dookie which exits the rectum in the classic phallic shape.

There are very few human experiences which compare to the utter satisfaction of releasing a double-tapered dildo shit; just ask pro baseball player George Brett, or look up 'George Brett' on Youtube to hear his incredible poop tale.

The dildo shit is not to be confused with the cheese plug, which is a different animal entirely.
George once opened up a fortune cookie and it read, "May all your shits be dildo shits." It was such a beautiful sentiment, he nearly cried. Shortly thereafter, George went into the sushi bar's facilities to paint the town brown.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 17, 2011
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social dose

The quantity of a mind-altering substance which does not impair the user's ability to functionally converse. This dosage can a be highly (no pun intended) subjective, depending not only upon the substance and the user, but also the peripheral circumstances.
When David Hasselhoff's cheeseburger starts falling apart, that's a sure sign that Mr. Hasselhoff has surpassed his social dose of alcohol for the evening.

You might THINK you're on a social dose of david lee roth, but you are acting like an overbearing coked-up bastard.

The girls didn't know much about mixing alcohol with pills, so their 'social dose' of Xanax and Smirnoff Ice led to blackouts and xanaps.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 27, 2010
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anna nicole smith

Dude, stop calling my celly asking me for Xanax! Don't you know the fucking pigs are tapping my phone? Next time, just say you need to hang out with anna nicole smith, ya doofus. Save that overly obvious telephone terminology for when you're calling a sketch pad.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 22, 2009
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chicago bars

This term describes the 'all-the-way-forward' handlebar position most commonly seen on BMX bikes in urban areas of the United States.

Rather than having the handlebars in a vertical position (as the more practical BMX riders tend to do), the individual who chooses the 'chicago' position instead prefers to lay his or her handlebars all the way forward in an attempt to do any or all of the following things:

1. Allow more knee room on a bike which is far too short for them, possibly because they are a 7-foot tall, 52 year old alcoholic who is riding their grandchild's Wal-Mart bike to the beer store at dawn on a Monday

2. Look 'cool' on an overly small bicycle, which is near-impossible, especially when the rider is visibly frustrated by this situation, and having apparent difficulty controlling said bike.

3. Create the illusion of having a 'low rider' bike, but without making any actual low rider modifications.

All chicago bars ever did was make BMX bikes harder to ride, and cause an untold number of unnecessary faceplants in the ghetto, and under certain circumstances, they may even alert the police to possible cracktivities in the area, due to the obvious fucktardation on the part of these clueless bike riders.
Hahaha! Did you see that guy with his bars almost rubbing the front tire? WTF?

Yes I did; that's because we're in the hood. Now stop sweating that chump's chicago bars and tell that baby on the corner to stop selling weed.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. March 22, 2010
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