Lârry Dângüs, esq.'s definitions
The practice of mixing odd flavors in the mouth simultaneously. Some examples of multitasting include eating a piece of citrus fruit too soon after brushing one's teeth, taking a hit off a beer while also chewing gum, or sucking on a breath mint while eating a wasabi-laden sushi roll.
While it is most often a manifestation of absent-mindedness, multitasting has also been deliberately practiced by people who 'just don't give a fuck.' These brave intentional multitasters have inspired humanity for generations innumerable. Kneel before Zod!
While it is most often a manifestation of absent-mindedness, multitasting has also been deliberately practiced by people who 'just don't give a fuck.' These brave intentional multitasters have inspired humanity for generations innumerable. Kneel before Zod!
Did you see that chick? She just popped a piece of gum in her mouth, chewed it like three times, and then downed half a diet soda. And now...I think...yes!...she's back to chewing the gum! What is this fucktardation?
That's called multitasting, and it is rather odd. But did you know that both the chewing gum and the soda contain a chemical poison called aspartame, which should never have been approved by the FDA?
No, do tell!
Well, it just so happens that Aspartame was passed despite FDA scientists' disapproval by none other than douche nozzle extraordinaire, Donald Rumsfeld.
According to a G.D. Searle's salesperson, Patty WoodAllott, Donald Rumsfeld stated "he would call in all his markers and that no matter what, he would see to it that aspartame be approved this year."
An interview with consumer attorney Jim Turner revealed how Donald Rumsfeld "called in his markers" as part of Reagan's transition team in 1981. This is why G.D. Searle felt compelled to reapply for aspartame's approval one day after Reagan's inauguration.
This is despite rejection of aspartame over brain tumors.
What a bunch of sweethearts, huh? I wish asshats Rumsfeld and that stupid band 311 would all go die in a fire.
That's called multitasting, and it is rather odd. But did you know that both the chewing gum and the soda contain a chemical poison called aspartame, which should never have been approved by the FDA?
No, do tell!
Well, it just so happens that Aspartame was passed despite FDA scientists' disapproval by none other than douche nozzle extraordinaire, Donald Rumsfeld.
According to a G.D. Searle's salesperson, Patty WoodAllott, Donald Rumsfeld stated "he would call in all his markers and that no matter what, he would see to it that aspartame be approved this year."
An interview with consumer attorney Jim Turner revealed how Donald Rumsfeld "called in his markers" as part of Reagan's transition team in 1981. This is why G.D. Searle felt compelled to reapply for aspartame's approval one day after Reagan's inauguration.
This is despite rejection of aspartame over brain tumors.
What a bunch of sweethearts, huh? I wish asshats Rumsfeld and that stupid band 311 would all go die in a fire.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 22, 2010
Get the multitasting mug.The quantity of a mind-altering substance which does not impair the user's ability to functionally converse. This dosage can a be highly (no pun intended) subjective, depending not only upon the substance and the user, but also the peripheral circumstances.
When David Hasselhoff's cheeseburger starts falling apart, that's a sure sign that Mr. Hasselhoff has surpassed his social dose of alcohol for the evening.
You might THINK you're on a social dose of david lee roth, but you are acting like an overbearing coked-up bastard.
The girls didn't know much about mixing alcohol with pills, so their 'social dose' of Xanax and Smirnoff Ice led to blackouts and xanaps.
You might THINK you're on a social dose of david lee roth, but you are acting like an overbearing coked-up bastard.
The girls didn't know much about mixing alcohol with pills, so their 'social dose' of Xanax and Smirnoff Ice led to blackouts and xanaps.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 27, 2010
Get the social dose mug.Person A: I hate my new job with a passion. These drug tests are fucking intrusive and I can't smoke the herb anymore.
Person B: Well, at least you can still do some david lee roth on the weekends...that shit will be outta your system by Monday.
Person A: Fuck you, I hate cocaine.
Person B: Well, at least you can still do some david lee roth on the weekends...that shit will be outta your system by Monday.
Person A: Fuck you, I hate cocaine.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 26, 2009
Get the david lee roth mug.Xanaps
The brief but heavy periods of sleep which commonly accompany the use of the benzodiazepine alprazolam, a.k.a. Xanax.
If you don't get much sleep at night and decide to take a little Xanax the next day to 'relax', you can expect to be taking a Xanap very shortly afterwards.
Often employed by white hats of low moral fortitude to get into the pants of unsuspecting young women. These men, incidentally, should be killed with anthrax for their utter fucktardation.
The brief but heavy periods of sleep which commonly accompany the use of the benzodiazepine alprazolam, a.k.a. Xanax.
If you don't get much sleep at night and decide to take a little Xanax the next day to 'relax', you can expect to be taking a Xanap very shortly afterwards.
Often employed by white hats of low moral fortitude to get into the pants of unsuspecting young women. These men, incidentally, should be killed with anthrax for their utter fucktardation.
Frat Boy A: Dude, what happened to those chicks we brought home from the bar?
Frat Boy B: They're still in the car taking Xanaps, you sneaky serial date rapist, you!
(high five, followed by unrequited homosexual thoughts)
Frat Boy B: They're still in the car taking Xanaps, you sneaky serial date rapist, you!
(high five, followed by unrequited homosexual thoughts)
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 29, 2009
Get the Xanaps mug.A farting technique in which the flatulent person grabs one butt cheek and pulls the ass apart so that gas is expelled soundlessly, or almost soundlessly.
The manual release is sometimes accompanied by a subtly airy 'whooshing' or 'hissing' sound. Most dog farts make a similarly subtle sound, largely due to canines' utter lack of butt cheeks.
According to urban legend, this is also the same sound made by the fudge jar when a fart comes out. For example, one would expect the goatse man's flatulence to behave in this manner.
The manual release is sometimes accompanied by a subtly airy 'whooshing' or 'hissing' sound. Most dog farts make a similarly subtle sound, largely due to canines' utter lack of butt cheeks.
According to urban legend, this is also the same sound made by the fudge jar when a fart comes out. For example, one would expect the goatse man's flatulence to behave in this manner.
The most polite way to fart in public is the manual release.
...that is, unless someone sees you while you're gripping your butt cheek...then you may have to do some 'splaining.
...that is, unless someone sees you while you're gripping your butt cheek...then you may have to do some 'splaining.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 7, 2009
Get the manual release mug.v. - monkey vining is the act of transitioning from one relationship to another by retaining some form of connection to both people simultaneously. Only when the new relationship is reasonably solidified is the former one wholly released.
To grasp the metaphor of the monkey vine in its entirety, one may simply visualize the mode of transport utilized by Tarzan and his jungle primate colleagues in old movies. The vine that is being swung on is firmly held until another vine is being grasped, or at least is easily reachable.
To grasp the metaphor of the monkey vine in its entirety, one may simply visualize the mode of transport utilized by Tarzan and his jungle primate colleagues in old movies. The vine that is being swung on is firmly held until another vine is being grasped, or at least is easily reachable.
person one:
Hey man, do you think Brad Pitt was monkey vining from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie?
person two:
Actually dude, I don't give a shit about what's happening in the love lives of these celebrities. 9/11 was an inside job, and fluoride is making Americans stupid. Maybe you should monkey vine your ass from US Weekly to some web sites that will enlighten your ass on things that are truly relevant to our lives!
Hey man, do you think Brad Pitt was monkey vining from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie?
person two:
Actually dude, I don't give a shit about what's happening in the love lives of these celebrities. 9/11 was an inside job, and fluoride is making Americans stupid. Maybe you should monkey vine your ass from US Weekly to some web sites that will enlighten your ass on things that are truly relevant to our lives!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 11, 2008
Get the monkey vining mug.having gone beyond the first piss while consuming alcohol or some other beverage which has a diuretic effect. Once the seal has been broken, frequent visits to the bathroom will usually be forthcoming.
Wino #1:
"hey, what happened to you at Dangus' party the other night? I thought you were gonna stay and chill with us!"
Wino #2:
"Yeah that WAS the plan, but some asshat got me locked into a full-on hostage crisis and I started swigging on some drank. After a while I had to take a leak, but you know how that shit just keeps coming once you start, so I resisted. Well once the purple stuff was cashed, I did a few kegstands and rolled up into the john to take a monster whiz, but someone was passed out on the throne so I broke the seal in the bathtub.
After that, I had to see what kind of fucktardation was going down at my homeboy's sketch pad. As I might have guessed, they were licking psychedelic toads, dealing laser-guided tridents and pimping gay male midget prostitutes...awesome! But yeah, I must have pissed like 90 more times...because I broke the seal. Is that explanatory and redundant enough for you?!? Jesus, I need a drank!
"hey, what happened to you at Dangus' party the other night? I thought you were gonna stay and chill with us!"
Wino #2:
"Yeah that WAS the plan, but some asshat got me locked into a full-on hostage crisis and I started swigging on some drank. After a while I had to take a leak, but you know how that shit just keeps coming once you start, so I resisted. Well once the purple stuff was cashed, I did a few kegstands and rolled up into the john to take a monster whiz, but someone was passed out on the throne so I broke the seal in the bathtub.
After that, I had to see what kind of fucktardation was going down at my homeboy's sketch pad. As I might have guessed, they were licking psychedelic toads, dealing laser-guided tridents and pimping gay male midget prostitutes...awesome! But yeah, I must have pissed like 90 more times...because I broke the seal. Is that explanatory and redundant enough for you?!? Jesus, I need a drank!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 12, 2008
Get the broke the seal mug.