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Wtf

WTF (Windows Text File) is a plain-text file format developed by Microsoft. It is intended for storing text information in readable form. Many users report problems opening it, because most systems don't know what to do with the .wtf file extension. The resulting error messsage "WTF? Unknown file extension!" is widely known. The chat acronym WTF is commonly used to signify uncertainty or unpleasant surprise.

As part of Microsoft's effort to develop free, open, user-friendly software environments, it is constantly improving file formats. After WMV (Windows Media Video) and (WMA - Windows Media Audio), it published proposals for WMP (Windows Media Picture) and WTF (Windows Text File) in May, 2006.

"WTF?" is the usual response by many users, who are not sure how Microsoft intends to compete with TXT format. Microsoft's release timeline calls for the TXT format to be made obsolete within months, by disallowing Windows Vista to open .txt files.
System Requirements

* '$30.00' license fee for usage
* Cheese grater
* 76 IQ maximum (any more and KERNEL32 takes a dive)
wtf
by Kodiac1 December 12, 2006
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Dollar Tree

The Dollar Tree is a rare tree found in

* Bill Gates' backyard
* The White House
* Kentucky
* Sims 2

It will grow you FREE money. On occasion, it will grow crappy merchendise such as plastic food. The seeds will be found in certain parts of Ireland. How do you think leprichauns get so many pots of gold? Yeah... Dollar Trees.

The Dollar Tree grows only in the warm climate of Kentucky or special patches which have been discovered by special people like Bill Gates. It is required to be watered five times a week and must be feed with a mixture of ground credit cards and crumbled checks. Mix it in with ground diamond powder. Wash, rince, repeat. After about a month, the tree will be fully grown. When harvested, the money you make will be $1,000,000. After a few years, you will be as rich as Bill Gates and possibly even have 99.9999999999999% of all the money in the world! Bad seasons will replace all of the money with crappy toys and stuff. There is a legend of a company who likes to steal the stuff and sell it in retail stores all over the USA! But there has been no evidence of this. and did you know... that dollar trees are incredibly well known in us

Fun Facts

* This is where money gets the green color
* Special edition Dollar Trees will give you gold!
* Slightly less special trees will give you silver.
* the doller tree is related to cotton, and jeans.
And they say money doesn't grow on trees...”

~ Oscar Wilde on The Dollar Tree
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
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Scandinavia

Scandinavia was a conspiracy theory developed by the Soviets in the 1640s. The only parties falling for this April's Day prank were Sweden, Norway and John Kerry. Denmark, Iceland and Finland have often been accused of being part of Scandinavia, but they deny these allegations. Denmark says that they were just playing along and knew all along that it was just a joke.

The Soviet government claimed that Scandinavia was a happy group of countries that did not want to be part of the Cold War or any major global political decision. Early membership benefits included free health care and education without oppressive government. Not to be outdone by commies, USA founded Canada.

After the fall of the Berlin wall, western historians were given access to the Soviet plans of this conspiracy. Later it was revealed that the initial plans were written on a dirty napkin from Hard Rock Cafe in Paris, France.

On most maps, Scandinavia appears as a large nut sack teabagging Europe. Scandinavia's major exports are porn, Volvos and sex-change operations. Major imports are Sun, bikinis and early episodes of MacGyver.
In Scandinavia it tends to be cold so bring a blanket.
by kodiac1 July 5, 2006
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Line

What is a Line?

This is a line: _______

Lines: What Are They Good For?

That is a very good question.

* Thank you.
* You're welcome.

Well, a line is a thing that is straight, basically. You can draw one on a board or paint one on a highway (as long as they both go on without curving for infinity).

That's So Cool. What Else Are They Good For?

Do not ask, young stupid one. Look all around you. There are lines in the sky and lines in the sand.
Whose Line is it Anyway
_____________________ ______________________
______________________ _____________________
by kodiac1 July 5, 2006
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Sissy

Sissies are those sensitive people. They won’t eat meat and they cry all the time. Context is for them.
The relationship between sissies and emos is as follows:
sissies = emo
The evidence is compelling.
If you see a sissy, you should beat the crap out of them. It’s good for them. It makes them tough.

Actually it doesn’t, but it’s really funny to listen to them squeal.

If they try to talk to you, cut them off with a firm, "shut up." If they persist, punch them.

It’s a well-known fact that a good knee-to-the-groin will dissuade even the most clingy of sissies.
One of the best insults in existence was derived from the annoying qualities of sissies. It goes as follows:

"____ is for sissies!"

Brilliance.

Sissy.
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
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Thomas Edison

Thomas Edison (1820-1955) was best known as a humorist and secretly wrote material for Mark Twain and David Letterman. In his spare time he worked in the Patent Office and ghost-wrote Albert Einstein's relativity papers. It has been alleged that he inherited a method for sexing bees from his mother, Mother Teresa, although the evidence points to him having developed it himself in the early 1700s. In 1877, journeyed with his youthful "ward" Henry Ford to Mars, landing outside The Fabled City of Z'la and encountering the High Martians. During the next 12 years, he reched a period of maximum creativity, in which he invented the black people, the Spinning Rectangle, and Snow Cones. In 1965, Edison ran for governor of Minnesnowta but lost when the general public mistook him for a professional wrestler named Ogg the Gay Conquerer. Collaborated with TimeCube to debunk Albert Newton. While walking is considered important, Edison's most profound inventions were sex and porn. Porn is the top suspect responsible for the Internet Crash of 1864.

Edison stole numerous ideas from unknown, often starving inventors including the following:

* the light bulb, which he stole from Joseph Swan
* Jellies high heels
* the potato gin
* Windows XP
* the light beer
* Cheez Wiz
* Nicaragua
* Sex, and the fluorescent latex used to power it.
* Taco bell
* Gravity
* Opposable Thumb

It truly is something to marvel at; the origins of the bubblewrap are far more ambiguous and obscure. In ancient China, air wrap was used in place of bubble wrap. Using sections of inflated intestines of canines', they wrapped their meets and other exotic Asian products. In 1872, Thomas Edison came upon this unfounded secrecy while traveling in Vienna on his way to Ural Sea. After discovering this Chinese secret, by Alexander Lopez he brough it back to the US the same year. Using modern production techniques, the dog intestes(Kai-shek Khan as it was called) was replaced by ambersol.
“A man who never reached puberty.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Thomas Edison
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
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Brad Pitt

"B.R.A.D P.I.T.T" was the codename given to one of the A merican Government's cyborgs that they used to infiltrate hollywood. They used them to target members of the acting community who posed a threat to their empire, or who appeared to inspire too much conflict in the American Population, regarding their laws and rule.

"Bionic Robot Aiming for Directors, Picking out Individuals and Terminating Them" was designed to dispose of anybody in the media who posed a threat to the US governemnt

Not to be confused with the T.O.M.C.R.U.I.S.E a cyborg from the United States Tourism Board that was the result of sponsored research conducted by the famous Palo Alto (from the Hopi Indian words for White and High) research facility into the effects of wood alcohol on congnitive functioning in mid level project managers.

Needless to say that after 13.25 months and $15 Billion in Defense department funding the prototype was found to be redundant due to the unrecognized flaw in the Project Managers strategy, that is the collapse of the Evil Empire...

Tiresome Ovid Machine Construct Rarely Used In Side Europe
Say "HI" to Brad Pitt!
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
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