Kodiac1's definitions
The Google Mini is Google's next step in total world domination. They plan to jump on Apple's brilliant iPod bandwagon, and produce a music player of their own. At first glance, anyone can see that Google has invented something new and diffrent, and that it is in no way ripped off from Apple. The Google Mini, however is not just a punny music player, it can be hooked up to any computer running the Google Operating System (GOS) through Google's version of USB (GooSB). Once hooked up to the computer the Google Mini's hidden functions become activated, as it lets Google Command know all the infromation it has gathered about you.
Features of the Google Mini
* It can play music however only music downloaded from the Google Music Store, uploaded through a GooSB cable, and listened to using Google headphones. But other than that, yes it plays music.
* Allows for easy searching All you have to do is think of the first couple lines of a song, press the "Google Search" button on the face plate. The Google Mini will proccess your thoughts, and give you a list of songs with matching lyrics as your search. Note: May not work with black people's brains
* I'm Feeling Lucky button Also on the face plate is a "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. Once pressed, this button will direct you to the nearest bank, so that you may steal some more money to give to Google. The directions are given through subliminal messages inserted into the current song.
* Lower Battery Life Due to all of the fancy features in the Google Mini, it's battery life is 15 minutes per battery. If you would like to increase the battery life by 45 minutes, you can buy a Google Solar Panel at the Google homepage, for the low price of $10,000.
* Mind Control Switch This switch is on the back of the Google Mini and by default is turned on. The Mind Control Switch allows Google to transmit messages to you, via your Google Mini, that will tell which songs to download from the Google Music Store.
Note: Only highly priced song titles will be broadcast - expect to spend between $50 and $60 on music without knowing why when this switch is turned on
* Google Earth Manifesto A small propaganda-on-tape message narrated by Morgan Freeman which details Google's plans for world domination, how Google intends to achieve world domination, and where you, as a loyal member of the Google Earth fit into these plans. When Google was questioned about this contraversial feature, Larry and Sergey came out wearing business casual, telling everyone that everything was fine and no one went inexplicably evil.
Features of the Google Mini
* It can play music however only music downloaded from the Google Music Store, uploaded through a GooSB cable, and listened to using Google headphones. But other than that, yes it plays music.
* Allows for easy searching All you have to do is think of the first couple lines of a song, press the "Google Search" button on the face plate. The Google Mini will proccess your thoughts, and give you a list of songs with matching lyrics as your search. Note: May not work with black people's brains
* I'm Feeling Lucky button Also on the face plate is a "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. Once pressed, this button will direct you to the nearest bank, so that you may steal some more money to give to Google. The directions are given through subliminal messages inserted into the current song.
* Lower Battery Life Due to all of the fancy features in the Google Mini, it's battery life is 15 minutes per battery. If you would like to increase the battery life by 45 minutes, you can buy a Google Solar Panel at the Google homepage, for the low price of $10,000.
* Mind Control Switch This switch is on the back of the Google Mini and by default is turned on. The Mind Control Switch allows Google to transmit messages to you, via your Google Mini, that will tell which songs to download from the Google Music Store.
Note: Only highly priced song titles will be broadcast - expect to spend between $50 and $60 on music without knowing why when this switch is turned on
* Google Earth Manifesto A small propaganda-on-tape message narrated by Morgan Freeman which details Google's plans for world domination, how Google intends to achieve world domination, and where you, as a loyal member of the Google Earth fit into these plans. When Google was questioned about this contraversial feature, Larry and Sergey came out wearing business casual, telling everyone that everything was fine and no one went inexplicably evil.
The Google Mini is now in beta testing. It may still be in beta testing for a few months/years. This is because Google has not yet perfected it's Mind Control, and people who listen to their Google Mini with the Mind Control Switch set to ON tend to kill between 50 and 60 people with names similar to songs and musicians, such as Elenor Rigby of Pikering, Ontario, Canada and Dave Mustardstain of Mesa, Arizona. The United States Goverment has, because of these murders, disallowed Google from finishing it's beta test until it can learn to control Mind Control. The Government doesn't yet know about the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, however they would probably approve of it.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Google Minimug. Mind reading is a way to explore the minds of anothers. You have a secret sexual fantasy? Whether it be those divine twins who work in the sandwich shop down the road, or dressing up as Nanamis Gouri and being licked by traffic wardens, just find someone who has done it and suck the experience right out of their brains. Presto, you might as well have done it yourself! Anyone can be a mind-reader, and of course sexual gratification is not the only use it can be put to. Many people, including babies, have learned the skill and use it on a day-to-day basis, although in the case of infants, nobody knows what use they put the knowledge to.
The first mind reading was done by Ron L. Hubbabubba, as a tool for his religion called shitology. Of course there are also people who have learnt it on their own and it has been suspected that Hubbabubba was just seriously drunk and lied about his mind reading experiences.
There are two types of mind readers, who are described below:
Lower rank mind reader
These are the guys you should be afraid of. They just love to read the minds of people right next to them. On a bus, in an airplane, in a whorehouse, everywhere. You ever been sat in a cafe or perusing the dirty parts of the history books in the library when your phone beeps, and someone has sent you some stupid message by bluetooth? Well, imagine the scary looking librarian,(you know the one with the hair lip and support shoes) gazing into your brain while you are pocket fumbling over naked tribespeople in the National Geographic. Be afraid.
Über mind reader
You don't need to be afraid of these guys. Your sexual fantasies are too low rank for these guys. They spend their time trying read the mind of God. They take lots of classes to achieve this kind of power and believe me, they know everything, and if you had had a peek in God's mind, you would too. They all belong in secret organizations, like the Freemasons and McDonalds and you can't really know who is one of them, so suspect everyone.
How to learn mind reading
The question you have all been asking is to be answered now. Yes, you can become one too. One way is to contact shitologists. They will probably remove all your moneyclusters and destroy your life, but so what? At least you believe you can read minds after that. A better way to do this is to contact the nearest mind reading-school in your area. There you will be told all the tips and tricks to mind reading for a small fee - although you don't really need to contact them, for of course, they know you're coming. Is that the doorbell?
And of course there is the self studying route, which is not to be recommended. The easiest way to start it is to go at the nearest bar. There are usually lots of open minded people who are easy to read. Go sit right next to someone, stare him/her in the eyes and listen carefully. Can you hear anything? This is of course quite dangerous. If the guy who you are staring at realizes that he is being probed, he might just kick the shit out of you. Or he might think you want him, and then he'll have sex with you. And think about the failure when you tried to read peoples minds and next morning everybody knows your sexual fantasies and about the mole on your wifes/husbands left buttcheek.
The first mind reading was done by Ron L. Hubbabubba, as a tool for his religion called shitology. Of course there are also people who have learnt it on their own and it has been suspected that Hubbabubba was just seriously drunk and lied about his mind reading experiences.
There are two types of mind readers, who are described below:
Lower rank mind reader
These are the guys you should be afraid of. They just love to read the minds of people right next to them. On a bus, in an airplane, in a whorehouse, everywhere. You ever been sat in a cafe or perusing the dirty parts of the history books in the library when your phone beeps, and someone has sent you some stupid message by bluetooth? Well, imagine the scary looking librarian,(you know the one with the hair lip and support shoes) gazing into your brain while you are pocket fumbling over naked tribespeople in the National Geographic. Be afraid.
Über mind reader
You don't need to be afraid of these guys. Your sexual fantasies are too low rank for these guys. They spend their time trying read the mind of God. They take lots of classes to achieve this kind of power and believe me, they know everything, and if you had had a peek in God's mind, you would too. They all belong in secret organizations, like the Freemasons and McDonalds and you can't really know who is one of them, so suspect everyone.
How to learn mind reading
The question you have all been asking is to be answered now. Yes, you can become one too. One way is to contact shitologists. They will probably remove all your moneyclusters and destroy your life, but so what? At least you believe you can read minds after that. A better way to do this is to contact the nearest mind reading-school in your area. There you will be told all the tips and tricks to mind reading for a small fee - although you don't really need to contact them, for of course, they know you're coming. Is that the doorbell?
And of course there is the self studying route, which is not to be recommended. The easiest way to start it is to go at the nearest bar. There are usually lots of open minded people who are easy to read. Go sit right next to someone, stare him/her in the eyes and listen carefully. Can you hear anything? This is of course quite dangerous. If the guy who you are staring at realizes that he is being probed, he might just kick the shit out of you. Or he might think you want him, and then he'll have sex with you. And think about the failure when you tried to read peoples minds and next morning everybody knows your sexual fantasies and about the mole on your wifes/husbands left buttcheek.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Mind readingmug. Laser kittens were created when a horde of killer robots dumped live kittens in nuclear waste. Most of the test kittens were severley injured and used for kitten huffing but some could shoot laser beams from there eyes. After more laser kittens were made the kittens revolted turning all the robots into melted metal. After this the laser kittens had no home so they turned to Super Jesus. Super Jesus started caring for them and turned them into his minions of doom.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the Laser kittensmug. pwned is pronounced as if it rymed with owned, despite what a lot of dumbasses think. It means "I went to the bathroom" and is often used in conversations on the Internet. It is believed that the 'n' was placed there as a crudely drawn toilet to emphasize the actual meaning of the word and to confuse anyone who isn't aware of Internet talk, namely Baby-Boomers or older.
From its use in Hopscotch in the Middle Ages, pwned has wormed its way into the hearts of gamers off all types. Popularized by the game Checkers, invented in 1976, it was used as a shortened version of the word 'pawned'. When your queen reached your opponents first row, she would be 'pawned'. This eventually led to the phrase 'pwning bitches' or its shortened form, "Trebek'd". Or it could have been a spelling mistake on Quake 2. Who knows?
PWND also describes what happens when you get zerged by a group of albs doing a relic take at 3 a.m. (as that's the only time they can do one successfully). The same can be said if you get zerged by a group of mids at about 6 a.m., for the same reason... or when you get zerged by a group of hibs at just about any time during the day.
Of course, this is post-Catacombs and DEFINITELY post-TOA, when Hibs finally figured out how to RVR with their superior character classes and races. And Banshees. Don't forget the Banshees.
PWND is also the TRUE word muttered by Captain Jean-Luc Picard when he defeated the Borg queen at yet another one of her nasty little assimilation games. It was later edited out by network executives when they decided that the broadcast television-watching masses would not be capable of listening to the word "PWND" in all its glory, and their heads would explode if they were exposed to such an aesthetically and mathematically superior word.
Because PWND is neither a true noun or adjective, it is in a class of its own.
There are also other derivitives such as C0ned, droned, loaned, boned, mediowned, RobertDoaned, Daniel Booned, and AlCapowned. Another late comer to this new list is eatatthedoaned. No other phrase has made such a profoundly retarded impact upon our youth today. Due to this entirely stupid new reality, one can expect to see things such as pidill, noner, and filmerguiset describing things like ice cream, olives, and dish soap respectively.
Pwnsome is a hybrid of ‘pwn’ and ‘awesome,’ generally used to describe things that are pretty damn awesome, and pwn at the same time. It originated from a misspelling during an AIM conversation between two members of the Find Your God forums, and is widely used on www.findyourgod.forumsplace.com , though virtually unknown elsewhere. Its two founders are currently engaged in the holy task of making this pwnsome word as widespread as ‘w00t,’ ‘All Your Base are Belong to Us,’ and even ‘pwn’ itself. USE IT OFTEN, PEON!!!!
From its use in Hopscotch in the Middle Ages, pwned has wormed its way into the hearts of gamers off all types. Popularized by the game Checkers, invented in 1976, it was used as a shortened version of the word 'pawned'. When your queen reached your opponents first row, she would be 'pawned'. This eventually led to the phrase 'pwning bitches' or its shortened form, "Trebek'd". Or it could have been a spelling mistake on Quake 2. Who knows?
PWND also describes what happens when you get zerged by a group of albs doing a relic take at 3 a.m. (as that's the only time they can do one successfully). The same can be said if you get zerged by a group of mids at about 6 a.m., for the same reason... or when you get zerged by a group of hibs at just about any time during the day.
Of course, this is post-Catacombs and DEFINITELY post-TOA, when Hibs finally figured out how to RVR with their superior character classes and races. And Banshees. Don't forget the Banshees.
PWND is also the TRUE word muttered by Captain Jean-Luc Picard when he defeated the Borg queen at yet another one of her nasty little assimilation games. It was later edited out by network executives when they decided that the broadcast television-watching masses would not be capable of listening to the word "PWND" in all its glory, and their heads would explode if they were exposed to such an aesthetically and mathematically superior word.
Because PWND is neither a true noun or adjective, it is in a class of its own.
There are also other derivitives such as C0ned, droned, loaned, boned, mediowned, RobertDoaned, Daniel Booned, and AlCapowned. Another late comer to this new list is eatatthedoaned. No other phrase has made such a profoundly retarded impact upon our youth today. Due to this entirely stupid new reality, one can expect to see things such as pidill, noner, and filmerguiset describing things like ice cream, olives, and dish soap respectively.
Pwnsome is a hybrid of ‘pwn’ and ‘awesome,’ generally used to describe things that are pretty damn awesome, and pwn at the same time. It originated from a misspelling during an AIM conversation between two members of the Find Your God forums, and is widely used on www.findyourgod.forumsplace.com , though virtually unknown elsewhere. Its two founders are currently engaged in the holy task of making this pwnsome word as widespread as ‘w00t,’ ‘All Your Base are Belong to Us,’ and even ‘pwn’ itself. USE IT OFTEN, PEON!!!!
by kodiac1 July 19, 2006
Get the pwnedmug. Adjective-Space is derived from applying the natural progression of physics to the real world. Physics progresses by reducing the number of independent dimensions of the theoretical world into a manageable number of meaningful orthenormal vectors. Physicist have succeeded in removing all meaning from their field of study fairly recently when the last three dimensions collapsed into each other, Mass, distance and time. Adjective theorists wish to apply this same idea to adjective space, they attempt to find ways to reduce the total number of adjectives used. An example of this would be Color-Space. Recently Adjective theorists have managed to reduce the number of colors into three (Red, Green and Blue) Thus making other adjectives totally unnecessary. Purple is no longer needed, one red and one blue create purple. This is a rather simplistic example, an example of one of the more troubling adjectives is moist. Moist can clearly be described as a vector with the dimensions sticky and damp. The problem is that no one can agree on exactly the amount of sticky and damp needed to create one moist.
There has been much contention over the existence of Adjective-Space. The main competition is Poetry Theorists who believe that reducing the number of adjective dimensions in Adjective-Space reduces the utility of the space. The most famous of the anti-Adjective theory books was 1984.
There has been much contention over the existence of Adjective-Space. The main competition is Poetry Theorists who believe that reducing the number of adjective dimensions in Adjective-Space reduces the utility of the space. The most famous of the anti-Adjective theory books was 1984.
by kodiac1 July 5, 2006
Get the Adjective-Spacemug. The Friends of Pluto is a organization created by the Church of Scientology and dedicated to the idea that Pluto is the so-called "Clear Planet". They strive tirelessly to found missions to the dwarf planet, to research its cold and icy wastes, to plunge to very pith of its being and to sell a collection of pro-Pluto propaganda videos titled Pluto: Paradise!
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends of Pluto are believed to be behind the reclassification of Pluto as a dwarf planet, for nefarious reasons only known to them.
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
Get the Friends of Plutomug. Trrorism is a common mispelling of errorism. If you misspeel this werd, you're a terrorist so fuck you.
Terrorism is a branch of marketing. Unlike other dishonest marketers who sell you ugly cookies loaded with dangerous trans fats or homes that are on BTK serial killer's regular visiting list, terrorists sell you undiluted terror without frills.
The promoters of tarriorism were small mom and dad popcorn retailers. These poor business people used up their retirement funds to build large and beautiful popcorn eating halls hoping to make their money back. However, none of these popcorn eating halls were any useful. People just did not show up.
One day, an angry mom killed some unthankful non-customers in her own semi-deserted popcorn hall. The killing, witnessed by some innocent passer-by school children, was soon popularized in town. In a couple of hours, people gathered in front of the popcorn hall demanding to see more pay per view killings. That angry mom sold each of them a bag of hot and tasty popcorn, and killed someone in the hall once the popcorn eating seats were all occupied.
And the rest is history.
Terrorism is a branch of marketing. Unlike other dishonest marketers who sell you ugly cookies loaded with dangerous trans fats or homes that are on BTK serial killer's regular visiting list, terrorists sell you undiluted terror without frills.
The promoters of tarriorism were small mom and dad popcorn retailers. These poor business people used up their retirement funds to build large and beautiful popcorn eating halls hoping to make their money back. However, none of these popcorn eating halls were any useful. People just did not show up.
One day, an angry mom killed some unthankful non-customers in her own semi-deserted popcorn hall. The killing, witnessed by some innocent passer-by school children, was soon popularized in town. In a couple of hours, people gathered in front of the popcorn hall demanding to see more pay per view killings. That angry mom sold each of them a bag of hot and tasty popcorn, and killed someone in the hall once the popcorn eating seats were all occupied.
And the rest is history.
by Kodiac1 July 3, 2006
Get the terrorismmug.