What is a Line?
This is a line: _______
Lines: What Are They Good For?
That is a very good question.
* Thank you.
* You're welcome.
Well, a line is a thing that is straight, basically. You can draw one on a board or paint one on a highway (as long as they both go on without curving for infinity).
That's So Cool. What Else Are They Good For?
Do not ask, young stupid one. Look all around you. There are lines in the sky and lines in the sand.
This is a line: _______
Lines: What Are They Good For?
That is a very good question.
* Thank you.
* You're welcome.
Well, a line is a thing that is straight, basically. You can draw one on a board or paint one on a highway (as long as they both go on without curving for infinity).
That's So Cool. What Else Are They Good For?
Do not ask, young stupid one. Look all around you. There are lines in the sky and lines in the sand.
Whose Line is it Anyway
_____________________ ______________________
______________________ _____________________
_____________________ ______________________
______________________ _____________________
by kodiac1 July 05, 2006
Bah! Doom is here to prove that Athens, early Rome, and all three George W.'s (George Washington, George W Bush, and his father) all had their heads on backwards and their eyes twirled toward non-existant gophers.
1st Fundemental Flaw: People Are Like Monkeys: they're bananas.
Minor Elections
1. Exactly 5 people in any given general election know who any candidates are other than the presidential candidates.
2. Those five people know who other candidates are because they are physically unable to stop watching television, and thus cannot rise and vote anyway.
3. And nobody else cares about local politics.
4. Yet local elections still take a fair turnout. Why? Imagine you walk into a room expecting to eat a hot dog. And so you do. But after eating the hot dog, you turn to find the door locked. You look around and find the room completely white, and so unremarkable that you immediately collapse into explosive boredom, prepared to go insane from sensory deprivation. But wait. There is something you can do. Somebody has left you two check boxes and a pencil. Could be fun to check one of them. OOh! That was fun! Let's do it again! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check!
And that's all the thought that goes into voting for a minor office.
1. Now that we're in a childish fantasy world of escaping madness by checking boxes, let's look at the things in the boxes. There are two methods: pick your favorite color, or go with the funniest sounding words. Think about it. Wouldn't you rather vote for Aquamarine Freznit Kerblinkipot!!!! than Bill Gray...
Major Elections
1. A person's choice in a major election is determined solely by:
whether the person prefers eating deer, or petting deer. or "I'll change my opinion if either of you offers me a cheap Chevy Suburban."
This is vastly different than Doom's preference of hooking cybernetic warmachines and maybe a vampire to a deer.
Flaw #2. Why elections don't matter anyway.
Say Congressman A is elected to represent party B, which opposes party C.
1. Congressman A does all he can to meet the interest of those corporations (and individuals, if you really believe that) that he can in party B.
2. Congressman A can't do too much, because congressman D, who represents party C, has devised a system in which every action Congressman A attempts is, instead of being debated in congress, thrown to the judicial or executive houses, which party C controlls. And thus you might as well have elected congressman D, so something at least can pass.
3. But even if you'd have voted for Mr. D, your vote would have been lost in the shady bowels of a voting machine manufactured by members of party B.
4. And in the event of significant political pressure, Mr. A will be more than happy at any rate to call himself a "moderate" and swing over to party C for moral reasons.
The Amazing, Spectacular Alternative of Dictatorship!
1. So you don't care who gets elected locally? Neither does Doom! Anybody can represent my explicit, iron will when I threaten their life!
2. Your political inclination may be shallowly motivated, but Doom has all sorts of good reasons why I should rule every aspect of your lives! And mine is the opinion that counts!
3. No congressmen will waste time bickering when Doom gives an order! You'll build that giant statue of me on your house's roof, or I'm injecting flesh eating robots under your skin, locking you inside your house, burning it down, and then building a statue of me on your roof. See, no tricky political loopholes there!
4. Political appearance. Imagine your average political debate on TV or your average senate meeting or what have you. Nothing but old people in suits arguing with each other. Now imagine Doom there. Doom is wearing high tech power armor and a cape, ranting in third person, and shooting lasers at whoever dares to disagree with the majesty that is Doom. Doesn't that make for more entertaining politics?
But wait, there's more!
Why settle for mere Dictatorship when you can get a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator for the same price, that is, your total and unwavering obediance!
"But what's so good about a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator?" you ask?
What's good is that if you question my authority again, nobody will ever find your body! But let me show you what's good:
1. Tired of having to make all those icky and hard decisions? Never again when Doom applies his special remedy, a mandatory nationwide 30 year draft of children 6 years old and up! Never will you have to make a desicion because when you serve in the Doom army, thinking is a death penalty, and we know, oh we know.
2. A thief in your house? Stole all your valubles? Worry no more, crimes like these will be no more when Doom takes away all your property and possessions and puts them under control of the government, and if someone did steal from you, you'd best not complain because then we'll know, and if we know, you know no more.
3. Tired of waking up to the sound of protest? Just want to kill those stupid, filthy, disgusting hippies? Worry no more, a nationwide death penalty against Liberalism will cure those pro-"free thinking" douchebags.
4. Never worry about abortion any more. Obviously, a woman who needs an abortion is a whore. If she wants her fetus killed, the government will assist her by executing her and then the baby will die with her. Either that or we'll turn them both into killer cyborgs and wipe their minds clean so they won't remember their past.
5. Education, everyone will get a free education equally. Everyone is subject to brainwashing and mind wiping before they become a killer cyborg in our military. Since we draft everyone from age six and up, they all get a free education in our military.
6. Religion, no doubts about it, everyone will have religion as everyone must worship Dr. Doom as a god. When you are brainwashed and mind wiped, you will be programmed to worship Dr. Doom anyway. Are you a die-hard militant Atheist? It does not matter as you will be converted to Doomism anyway whether you like it or not, and you will be programmed to like it.
1st Fundemental Flaw: People Are Like Monkeys: they're bananas.
Minor Elections
1. Exactly 5 people in any given general election know who any candidates are other than the presidential candidates.
2. Those five people know who other candidates are because they are physically unable to stop watching television, and thus cannot rise and vote anyway.
3. And nobody else cares about local politics.
4. Yet local elections still take a fair turnout. Why? Imagine you walk into a room expecting to eat a hot dog. And so you do. But after eating the hot dog, you turn to find the door locked. You look around and find the room completely white, and so unremarkable that you immediately collapse into explosive boredom, prepared to go insane from sensory deprivation. But wait. There is something you can do. Somebody has left you two check boxes and a pencil. Could be fun to check one of them. OOh! That was fun! Let's do it again! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check!
And that's all the thought that goes into voting for a minor office.
1. Now that we're in a childish fantasy world of escaping madness by checking boxes, let's look at the things in the boxes. There are two methods: pick your favorite color, or go with the funniest sounding words. Think about it. Wouldn't you rather vote for Aquamarine Freznit Kerblinkipot!!!! than Bill Gray...
Major Elections
1. A person's choice in a major election is determined solely by:
whether the person prefers eating deer, or petting deer. or "I'll change my opinion if either of you offers me a cheap Chevy Suburban."
This is vastly different than Doom's preference of hooking cybernetic warmachines and maybe a vampire to a deer.
Flaw #2. Why elections don't matter anyway.
Say Congressman A is elected to represent party B, which opposes party C.
1. Congressman A does all he can to meet the interest of those corporations (and individuals, if you really believe that) that he can in party B.
2. Congressman A can't do too much, because congressman D, who represents party C, has devised a system in which every action Congressman A attempts is, instead of being debated in congress, thrown to the judicial or executive houses, which party C controlls. And thus you might as well have elected congressman D, so something at least can pass.
3. But even if you'd have voted for Mr. D, your vote would have been lost in the shady bowels of a voting machine manufactured by members of party B.
4. And in the event of significant political pressure, Mr. A will be more than happy at any rate to call himself a "moderate" and swing over to party C for moral reasons.
The Amazing, Spectacular Alternative of Dictatorship!
1. So you don't care who gets elected locally? Neither does Doom! Anybody can represent my explicit, iron will when I threaten their life!
2. Your political inclination may be shallowly motivated, but Doom has all sorts of good reasons why I should rule every aspect of your lives! And mine is the opinion that counts!
3. No congressmen will waste time bickering when Doom gives an order! You'll build that giant statue of me on your house's roof, or I'm injecting flesh eating robots under your skin, locking you inside your house, burning it down, and then building a statue of me on your roof. See, no tricky political loopholes there!
4. Political appearance. Imagine your average political debate on TV or your average senate meeting or what have you. Nothing but old people in suits arguing with each other. Now imagine Doom there. Doom is wearing high tech power armor and a cape, ranting in third person, and shooting lasers at whoever dares to disagree with the majesty that is Doom. Doesn't that make for more entertaining politics?
But wait, there's more!
Why settle for mere Dictatorship when you can get a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator for the same price, that is, your total and unwavering obediance!
"But what's so good about a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator?" you ask?
What's good is that if you question my authority again, nobody will ever find your body! But let me show you what's good:
1. Tired of having to make all those icky and hard decisions? Never again when Doom applies his special remedy, a mandatory nationwide 30 year draft of children 6 years old and up! Never will you have to make a desicion because when you serve in the Doom army, thinking is a death penalty, and we know, oh we know.
2. A thief in your house? Stole all your valubles? Worry no more, crimes like these will be no more when Doom takes away all your property and possessions and puts them under control of the government, and if someone did steal from you, you'd best not complain because then we'll know, and if we know, you know no more.
3. Tired of waking up to the sound of protest? Just want to kill those stupid, filthy, disgusting hippies? Worry no more, a nationwide death penalty against Liberalism will cure those pro-"free thinking" douchebags.
4. Never worry about abortion any more. Obviously, a woman who needs an abortion is a whore. If she wants her fetus killed, the government will assist her by executing her and then the baby will die with her. Either that or we'll turn them both into killer cyborgs and wipe their minds clean so they won't remember their past.
5. Education, everyone will get a free education equally. Everyone is subject to brainwashing and mind wiping before they become a killer cyborg in our military. Since we draft everyone from age six and up, they all get a free education in our military.
6. Religion, no doubts about it, everyone will have religion as everyone must worship Dr. Doom as a god. When you are brainwashed and mind wiped, you will be programmed to worship Dr. Doom anyway. Are you a die-hard militant Atheist? It does not matter as you will be converted to Doomism anyway whether you like it or not, and you will be programmed to like it.
So, in conclusion, Doom is your ROCK 'N' ROLL GANGSTER OVERLORD, AND YOU AIN'T DOIN' NOTHIN' ABOUT IT!
Dr. Doom's Proof of Inherent Flaws in Democracy
by kodiac1 July 05, 2006
Stinky tofu is a biological weapon developed in China, but now primarily used by Taiwan. It is considered a weapon of mass destruction and its use is banned by the Geneva Convention. Saddam Hussein was accused of having this. Oh, you silly Saddam.
by kodiac1 July 03, 2006
Baby Oil is fat extracted from undeveloped human sources, known as babies.
Like all fats, baby oils are insoluble in water but soluble in cheap vodka.
Oils extracted from minors have been used in many cultures, since ancient times. As an example, a 4000 year old "kitchen" unearthed in Liverpool was found to include an oil press and a large quantity of discarded child-husks. Archeologists believe that the tribes of Ancient Scouse would raise children as a source of cheap fuel.
The uses of baby oils can be divided into three main areas:
* Lubrication
* Fuel
* Threatening Children
Extracting Baby Oil:
* The "traditional" way of extracting baby oil uses several different types of mechanical extraction. This method is preferred by most Eco-Freakies in the USA and in Europe. Cheesegrater extraction is one type, and there are two other types that are both oil presses: the screw press and the ram press. Oil presses are commonly used in developing countries, among people for whom other extraction methods would be prohibitively expensive.
* The "modern" way of acquiring baby oil is by chemical extraction, using solvent extracts, which produces higher yields and is quicker and less messy. The most common solvent is Sunny Delight. This disolves the baby from the inside out, and it is then simple to seperate the oil from the solvent.
Like all fats, baby oils are insoluble in water but soluble in cheap vodka.
Oils extracted from minors have been used in many cultures, since ancient times. As an example, a 4000 year old "kitchen" unearthed in Liverpool was found to include an oil press and a large quantity of discarded child-husks. Archeologists believe that the tribes of Ancient Scouse would raise children as a source of cheap fuel.
The uses of baby oils can be divided into three main areas:
* Lubrication
* Fuel
* Threatening Children
Extracting Baby Oil:
* The "traditional" way of extracting baby oil uses several different types of mechanical extraction. This method is preferred by most Eco-Freakies in the USA and in Europe. Cheesegrater extraction is one type, and there are two other types that are both oil presses: the screw press and the ram press. Oil presses are commonly used in developing countries, among people for whom other extraction methods would be prohibitively expensive.
* The "modern" way of acquiring baby oil is by chemical extraction, using solvent extracts, which produces higher yields and is quicker and less messy. The most common solvent is Sunny Delight. This disolves the baby from the inside out, and it is then simple to seperate the oil from the solvent.
by kodiac1 July 07, 2006
Laser kittens were created when a horde of killer robots dumped live kittens in nuclear waste. Most of the test kittens were severley injured and used for kitten huffing but some could shoot laser beams from there eyes. After more laser kittens were made the kittens revolted turning all the robots into melted metal. After this the laser kittens had no home so they turned to Super Jesus. Super Jesus started caring for them and turned them into his minions of doom.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
x64 is a part of the lost Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe and Everything, to which the answer is 42.
It all started when AMD attempted to uncover the Ultimate Question, despite the version of the Uncertainty Principle (discovered by Douglas Adams) which stated that the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer cannot be known in the same universe. So far, the only known part of the Ultimate Question was "x86".
To accomplish this task, AMD constructed a marketing hoax called Opteron, a hoax so wise that it was often mistaken for a processor (or a decepticon). After several years of promotion, during which nobody actually saw Opteron, it was calculated that the "x86" part of the Ultimate Question is correct, and another part was discovered, so the result was elongated to "x86-64". AMD proudly patented this nonsense by the name of AMD64.
Meanwhile, Intel has been performing its own calculations of the Ultimate Question and Answer. At first it appeared that the assumption of the Ultimate Question being 42 was incorrect, and in fact it was 32. Windows operated, albeit not successfully enough, under that assumption. Intel admitted that x86 is indeed a part of the Ultimate Question, but did not acknowledge the "-64" addition, for it had already been pushing its own "IA-64" architecture (see Itanium), not compatible with x86, which Intel preferred to call "IA-32". Well, actually it was compatible, if you were satisfied with Half-Life 2 producing 0.1 FPS, but it turned out that this was not the compatibility people were looking for.
Eventually, after the introduction of Athlon 64—oddly enough, a real processor this time—Intel reconsidered. They found nothing better than to pretend that x86-64 spport was always in their Pentiums, but AMD stole it all and called it AMD64. And of course, they found nothing better than to introduce yet another name. Since IA-64 was taken, they used a randomly generated abbreviation, namely EM64T. Each EM64T processor shipped with a sticker that read, "People, we know IA-64 was a mistake. Honest. Just buy our processor and not AMD's, pleeease!"
For Microsoft, this was not sufficient. At first, they were with Intel, as they always had been, but they thought that between IA-64, x86-64, AMD64 and EM64T, customers would not understand the advantages of the new approach. So x64 was introduced to replace "x86-64" in the Ultimate Question, as a matter of political correctness between AMD and Intel. It allowed Microsoft to finally, using a cluster of Opterons, Xeons and other nonexistent (for the common user) processors, reverse engineer the Ultimate Equation:
0.65625x64=42
Some people still call it x86-64, though, despite the fact that the Ultimate Equation becomes infinite with such an approach. But don't worry, these include just some insignificant individuals, like Linus Torvalds. It's barely noteworthy on Wikipedia.
And in the end, all Microsoft wrought is perhaps convincing people that x86 is better than x64, because it's larger.
It all started when AMD attempted to uncover the Ultimate Question, despite the version of the Uncertainty Principle (discovered by Douglas Adams) which stated that the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer cannot be known in the same universe. So far, the only known part of the Ultimate Question was "x86".
To accomplish this task, AMD constructed a marketing hoax called Opteron, a hoax so wise that it was often mistaken for a processor (or a decepticon). After several years of promotion, during which nobody actually saw Opteron, it was calculated that the "x86" part of the Ultimate Question is correct, and another part was discovered, so the result was elongated to "x86-64". AMD proudly patented this nonsense by the name of AMD64.
Meanwhile, Intel has been performing its own calculations of the Ultimate Question and Answer. At first it appeared that the assumption of the Ultimate Question being 42 was incorrect, and in fact it was 32. Windows operated, albeit not successfully enough, under that assumption. Intel admitted that x86 is indeed a part of the Ultimate Question, but did not acknowledge the "-64" addition, for it had already been pushing its own "IA-64" architecture (see Itanium), not compatible with x86, which Intel preferred to call "IA-32". Well, actually it was compatible, if you were satisfied with Half-Life 2 producing 0.1 FPS, but it turned out that this was not the compatibility people were looking for.
Eventually, after the introduction of Athlon 64—oddly enough, a real processor this time—Intel reconsidered. They found nothing better than to pretend that x86-64 spport was always in their Pentiums, but AMD stole it all and called it AMD64. And of course, they found nothing better than to introduce yet another name. Since IA-64 was taken, they used a randomly generated abbreviation, namely EM64T. Each EM64T processor shipped with a sticker that read, "People, we know IA-64 was a mistake. Honest. Just buy our processor and not AMD's, pleeease!"
For Microsoft, this was not sufficient. At first, they were with Intel, as they always had been, but they thought that between IA-64, x86-64, AMD64 and EM64T, customers would not understand the advantages of the new approach. So x64 was introduced to replace "x86-64" in the Ultimate Question, as a matter of political correctness between AMD and Intel. It allowed Microsoft to finally, using a cluster of Opterons, Xeons and other nonexistent (for the common user) processors, reverse engineer the Ultimate Equation:
0.65625x64=42
Some people still call it x86-64, though, despite the fact that the Ultimate Equation becomes infinite with such an approach. But don't worry, these include just some insignificant individuals, like Linus Torvalds. It's barely noteworthy on Wikipedia.
And in the end, all Microsoft wrought is perhaps convincing people that x86 is better than x64, because it's larger.
“May they burn in hell, AMD and Intel alike, for not discovering it in the first place.”
~ Oscar Wilde on x64
~ Oscar Wilde on x64
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
Normal is nonexistant. It's known as a metaphor for non-existance. Such as "David's euphoria was normal" or "Sally's virginity was normal". People often use normal. It is widely considered that George Bush is normal.
The original source of normalness is widely questioned, as normal is still trying to find his biological parents. Normal was adopted after being orphaned by existance. Then Dick Cheney joined the normal team and imploded. Now the impaling has started on people against normal. Normal is running in a political election against Michael Jackson and is hoping to rule the world. His plans on keeping world peace is to "Normalize everyone".
Once normalization is complete, normal can sit back and watch the tides. Nobody yet understands Normal's artistically inclined self, yet he is known to be written in normal poetry from normal emo kids. These emo kids have normally good poetry, and anyones willingness to read it is normal.
The original source of normalness is widely questioned, as normal is still trying to find his biological parents. Normal was adopted after being orphaned by existance. Then Dick Cheney joined the normal team and imploded. Now the impaling has started on people against normal. Normal is running in a political election against Michael Jackson and is hoping to rule the world. His plans on keeping world peace is to "Normalize everyone".
Once normalization is complete, normal can sit back and watch the tides. Nobody yet understands Normal's artistically inclined self, yet he is known to be written in normal poetry from normal emo kids. These emo kids have normally good poetry, and anyones willingness to read it is normal.
by kodiac1 July 08, 2006