Kodiac1's definitions
7-11 is the historical name ascribed to the most prevalent naturally occuring inconvenience store. Known since antiquity, 7-11 has become the world's foremost purveyor of toxically unhealthy processed food products. Also notable are the frictionless tile floors and the uniformly East Indian service staff.
7-11 has been a recognized natural phenomenon since the dawn of recorded history.
It is believed that the 7-11 was a natural evolution of the 7-10, a prehistoric herd animal. 7-10 were common when the entire landmass of Earth was concentrated into one supercontinent, Pangaea. Herds of 7-10 freely roamed the continent, having only one natural predator - the Chuck Norris. The massive evolutionary strain induced by such a formidable foe necessitated a new evolutionary strategy.
The first 7-11 was created by a confluence of the superintelligent East Indians and a herd of 7-10. This new symbiotic strategy proved successful - so successful, in fact, that individual members could survive without the protection of the herd. 7-11 spread to every corner of the supercontinent before the famed breakup of Pangaea (actually caused by one of Chuck Norris' temper tantrums) and so were located around the planet when humans showed up some hundreds of millions of years later.
The influence of the 7-11 on humanity has been tremendous. Former hunter/gatherer societies, upon finding a cluster of 7-11, would settle there rather than continuing their nomadic lifestyle. With the relief of the burden of constantly searching for food, humans were free to develop other primitive activities, such as religion and the killing of innocent people. It is at this point in history that we see the first evidence of Norris worship, including human sacrifice and execution by roundhouse kicking. The first cities developed around herds of 7-11, and wars were common between those who had access to 7-11 and those who did not have such privilege.
7-11 has been a recognized natural phenomenon since the dawn of recorded history.
It is believed that the 7-11 was a natural evolution of the 7-10, a prehistoric herd animal. 7-10 were common when the entire landmass of Earth was concentrated into one supercontinent, Pangaea. Herds of 7-10 freely roamed the continent, having only one natural predator - the Chuck Norris. The massive evolutionary strain induced by such a formidable foe necessitated a new evolutionary strategy.
The first 7-11 was created by a confluence of the superintelligent East Indians and a herd of 7-10. This new symbiotic strategy proved successful - so successful, in fact, that individual members could survive without the protection of the herd. 7-11 spread to every corner of the supercontinent before the famed breakup of Pangaea (actually caused by one of Chuck Norris' temper tantrums) and so were located around the planet when humans showed up some hundreds of millions of years later.
The influence of the 7-11 on humanity has been tremendous. Former hunter/gatherer societies, upon finding a cluster of 7-11, would settle there rather than continuing their nomadic lifestyle. With the relief of the burden of constantly searching for food, humans were free to develop other primitive activities, such as religion and the killing of innocent people. It is at this point in history that we see the first evidence of Norris worship, including human sacrifice and execution by roundhouse kicking. The first cities developed around herds of 7-11, and wars were common between those who had access to 7-11 and those who did not have such privilege.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the 7-11mug. by Kodiac1 September 27, 2007
Get the negsmug. In the year 1903, King Butthole the 3rd was born into kingship after his mother died in labor and his dad got wasted and set himself on fire. From the year 1903 to 1907, Austria was ruled by a baby. While under the baby's rule the country went to war with Godzilla and the United Arab Emirates.
In the year 1907 the King went to preschool. After the first day he declared war on finger paints and naptime. Finger paints suffered after the king used his nuclear capabilities on the crayola fingerpaint warehouse in Mongolia. But the king let naptime escape with it's life.
In the year 1957 the king bought the company who made Better Homes and Gardens magazine and made it into his military headquarters. With his base set up the King decided to build the great fort wallacocky made entirely of popsicle sticks.
The fort soon was destoyed in World war 2.5 and the King died in battle.
After dying the Austrian stock market collapsed and nobody goes there anymore. THE END!
In the year 1907 the King went to preschool. After the first day he declared war on finger paints and naptime. Finger paints suffered after the king used his nuclear capabilities on the crayola fingerpaint warehouse in Mongolia. But the king let naptime escape with it's life.
In the year 1957 the king bought the company who made Better Homes and Gardens magazine and made it into his military headquarters. With his base set up the King decided to build the great fort wallacocky made entirely of popsicle sticks.
The fort soon was destoyed in World war 2.5 and the King died in battle.
After dying the Austrian stock market collapsed and nobody goes there anymore. THE END!
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the King Butthole the 3rdmug. The gene that, when active within the human genome, causes an individual to exhibit the characteristic of blueness. This gene is known for its unique, maroon colour. Although some would figure this gene to be the colour blue, they are incorrectly thinking of jeans, which when placed in the human genome cause the individual to behave maroon.
The above is, of course, complete bullshit.
The gene is found in between the genes for Judaism and metrosexuality; an individual who possesses the dominant alelles of all three is called a "new blue jew".
The above is, of course, complete bullshit.
The gene is found in between the genes for Judaism and metrosexuality; an individual who possesses the dominant alelles of all three is called a "new blue jew".
Blue Gene is also the name of the computer that secretly rules over Canuckstan with an iron fist. Which is odd, because the computer fails to have an iron fist, but instead uses a more modern platnium fist. It will likely destroy us all.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Blue Genemug. The Friends of Pluto is a organization created by the Church of Scientology and dedicated to the idea that Pluto is the so-called "Clear Planet". They strive tirelessly to found missions to the dwarf planet, to research its cold and icy wastes, to plunge to very pith of its being and to sell a collection of pro-Pluto propaganda videos titled Pluto: Paradise!
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends of Pluto are believed to be behind the reclassification of Pluto as a dwarf planet, for nefarious reasons only known to them.
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
Get the Friends of Plutomug. NASA originally stood for the "National Anal Sex Association". Now NASA stands for the "Nutty Assholes in Space Authority", having changed its focus from bedrooms to the sky. They're still fuckin' anal, though!
NASA was really created as an attempt to fool people into thinking America reached Venus (as Europe did first). It failed to live up to the expectations of NACA.
by kodiac1 July 11, 2006
Get the NASAmug. Welcome to Buckingham Palace, the biggest playground existing, where even Queen Elizabeth and Tony Blair come to play! Here, your kids and grandparents can enjoy a dive in the bath where the balls connect and the world famous enormous pole of exitement(one of Tony's favourites)! Let's have a quick tour, shall we?
Parking lot
Our parking lot is THE place if you like waiting! We have one-hundred lazy guards who are willing to tell you bad directions! Our guards also provide badly drawn maps, keys that don't fit and dirtroad detours!
The entrance
When you finally reach the entrance, the fun begins! You can look at two Buckingham Guards... TOTALLY STANDING STILL! Isn't that amazing, kids!? You can kick them and THEY WILL REMAIN STILL! You can test your new collection of BeyBlades and they will STILL STAND STILL! You can even shoot them in the crotch with a 9mm gun, and surprisingly enough THEY WILL REMAIN STILL!!! AMAZING!
The staircases
Now here comes a fun part. When you're inside, there are loads of stairs, covered in red carpet! You can run up them, run down, you can CLIMB then, you can jump off them or break your ankle on them! Once you're finished, you can go to the...
First aid room
The first aid room is only 5 miles away from the Parking lot, so you can take your time and let that ankle heal there! Tony Blair will look after you! Be sure to have your buttplug with you, as Tony knows a few tricks!
The Queen's room
Legends and myths are told that there's a secret room inside the castle where Queen Elizabeth used to do her dirty laundry. Try to find it, lead us to it and get a FREE* icecream cone!
(*)Only available when you have collected all of our tax money for us. It's a hard job, you know...
History Lessons!
In here, you can play several games, like "Kampf" or "Gulf War"! Most of them can be unlocked by succesfully surviving the other games without scratches and maimed body parts! Some of the history teachers include Adolf Hitler, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush (Only for the war in Iraq. He lacks knowledge of all other subject, although we doubt he knows anything about Iraq, too...)
Parking lot
Our parking lot is THE place if you like waiting! We have one-hundred lazy guards who are willing to tell you bad directions! Our guards also provide badly drawn maps, keys that don't fit and dirtroad detours!
The entrance
When you finally reach the entrance, the fun begins! You can look at two Buckingham Guards... TOTALLY STANDING STILL! Isn't that amazing, kids!? You can kick them and THEY WILL REMAIN STILL! You can test your new collection of BeyBlades and they will STILL STAND STILL! You can even shoot them in the crotch with a 9mm gun, and surprisingly enough THEY WILL REMAIN STILL!!! AMAZING!
The staircases
Now here comes a fun part. When you're inside, there are loads of stairs, covered in red carpet! You can run up them, run down, you can CLIMB then, you can jump off them or break your ankle on them! Once you're finished, you can go to the...
First aid room
The first aid room is only 5 miles away from the Parking lot, so you can take your time and let that ankle heal there! Tony Blair will look after you! Be sure to have your buttplug with you, as Tony knows a few tricks!
The Queen's room
Legends and myths are told that there's a secret room inside the castle where Queen Elizabeth used to do her dirty laundry. Try to find it, lead us to it and get a FREE* icecream cone!
(*)Only available when you have collected all of our tax money for us. It's a hard job, you know...
History Lessons!
In here, you can play several games, like "Kampf" or "Gulf War"! Most of them can be unlocked by succesfully surviving the other games without scratches and maimed body parts! Some of the history teachers include Adolf Hitler, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush (Only for the war in Iraq. He lacks knowledge of all other subject, although we doubt he knows anything about Iraq, too...)
Buckingham Palace is a fun place to go for a typical father-and-son-day! The whole family can enjoy the pleasures of Tony Blair and the old demented whore who calls herself a queen! Have fun, and don't forget the buttplug!
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Buckingham Palacemug.