Kodiac1's definitions
The Friends of Pluto is a organization created by the Church of Scientology and dedicated to the idea that Pluto is the so-called "Clear Planet". They strive tirelessly to found missions to the dwarf planet, to research its cold and icy wastes, to plunge to very pith of its being and to sell a collection of pro-Pluto propaganda videos titled Pluto: Paradise!
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends of Pluto are believed to be behind the reclassification of Pluto as a dwarf planet, for nefarious reasons only known to them.
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
Get the Friends of Plutomug. Stinky tofu is a biological weapon developed in China, but now primarily used by Taiwan. It is considered a weapon of mass destruction and its use is banned by the Geneva Convention. Saddam Hussein was accused of having this. Oh, you silly Saddam.
by kodiac1 July 3, 2006
Get the Stinky tofumug. Nuke is the greatest tool of peace ever made. It prevent wars and, then it the war starts, nuke finish it quickly.
Nuking Stuff has proven popular over the last few years, especially with nazis, right-wing religious groups and crazed uncles. By far, the most popular nuking method is the old 'drop a nuke' but there are also such more intelligent methods, used by people like George Bush - these include 'get a clever person to plan it for you'.
Nuking stuff to music has also recently become very popular. 'Nuke Music' consists of terrorist bands such as System of a Down, Rage Against the Machine and N-Sync. Professional nukers will also listen to Britney Spears, but this is only for advanced nukers. Another skill often attempted by Nukers is NUKING IN TIME TO MUSIC. This type of nuking involves a rhythm and a beat, and plenty of time and effort. Nukes are launched by correctly stepping on one of four arrows at the right time, the more preciseley the arrow is stepped on the more people are killed. A good Nuker can kill a few billion people (hell, it's China) in one round (a full war takes three rounds).
Nuking Stuff has proven popular over the last few years, especially with nazis, right-wing religious groups and crazed uncles. By far, the most popular nuking method is the old 'drop a nuke' but there are also such more intelligent methods, used by people like George Bush - these include 'get a clever person to plan it for you'.
Nuking stuff to music has also recently become very popular. 'Nuke Music' consists of terrorist bands such as System of a Down, Rage Against the Machine and N-Sync. Professional nukers will also listen to Britney Spears, but this is only for advanced nukers. Another skill often attempted by Nukers is NUKING IN TIME TO MUSIC. This type of nuking involves a rhythm and a beat, and plenty of time and effort. Nukes are launched by correctly stepping on one of four arrows at the right time, the more preciseley the arrow is stepped on the more people are killed. A good Nuker can kill a few billion people (hell, it's China) in one round (a full war takes three rounds).
Nuclear recipe
Here is a recipe to a nuke i found in the oval office
2 kilo's uranium 2 kilo's pie 1 very big empty bomb 60,000 cookies 1 G. bush 1 land to nuke 0 braincells Much insanity
To make:
1. Mix the uranium with the pppie and put it in george bush.
2. Then, after a day, take bush his shit and put it in the bomb.
3. Add cookies
4. Drop it at the land you selected
Done!
The small letter: Uranium can only be found in bush his secret bunker or the planet ur-anus.
Here is a recipe to a nuke i found in the oval office
2 kilo's uranium 2 kilo's pie 1 very big empty bomb 60,000 cookies 1 G. bush 1 land to nuke 0 braincells Much insanity
To make:
1. Mix the uranium with the pppie and put it in george bush.
2. Then, after a day, take bush his shit and put it in the bomb.
3. Add cookies
4. Drop it at the land you selected
Done!
The small letter: Uranium can only be found in bush his secret bunker or the planet ur-anus.
by kodiac1 July 12, 2006
Get the Nukemug. Papercuts are deadly and should be avoided at all times. They are an infamous happening throughout the world, with an increasing occurance rate in Asia. Paper Cuts is a rocking Nirvana song off the Bleach album.
* The first recorded recorded incident of a paper cut was 1240 AD, when an English monk pulled out a bible too quickly. The Book of Psalms flew out of the book and slid across his arm. "Damneth thine verses; I smiteth thee!" and other various curses were heard throughout the monestary.
* 1492 - Columbus sets out to the Americas. Returns from trip bearing gifts, King Ferdinand is angered when a scroll injures him.
* Ten years later, the King perishes due to internal bleeding after swallowing a secret message.
* March of 1865, Portugal bans paper from the country. Unfortunately, this was impossible, as the paperwork to be signed was sent out of the country.
* 1998 - Wisconsin Elementary student Mark Gifadet perfects his paper airplane design; plans for world domination fail when his teacher is struck through the heart with the plane.
* Late 2005 - Cheney is put through hospitalization after Sharkboy throws toilet paper rolls at him.
What to do if Papercutted
Papercuts happen no matter what you do to avoid them. If you are in the wild or bush and receive a papercut you must immediatly flush the wound with urine and fill the cavity of the cut with leper semen. This with stave off death for half an hour. Hobble off to the nearest stream and ritually wash yourself. It's the best you can do.
If you are in the proper facilities, then follow these instructions to heal yourself.
1. Sit in a comfortable position
2. Wait, sorry. Fetch a ladle and a laser printer
3. Resume your previous position
4. Take apart the printer and mash it to the consistancy of marmelade
5. Using the ladle, apply the printer juice to the area around the wound
6. Let the wound sit for 2-3 hours
Don't forget that it's always better to avoid such accidents than to have to treat them.
A Cure
Scientists in the Ukraine are currently working on a cure for papercuts; so far there has been great progress. Lead scientists across the nation banded together and put their collective efforts to one project. Pills are in the making, and a protective suit prototype is in testing.
* The first recorded recorded incident of a paper cut was 1240 AD, when an English monk pulled out a bible too quickly. The Book of Psalms flew out of the book and slid across his arm. "Damneth thine verses; I smiteth thee!" and other various curses were heard throughout the monestary.
* 1492 - Columbus sets out to the Americas. Returns from trip bearing gifts, King Ferdinand is angered when a scroll injures him.
* Ten years later, the King perishes due to internal bleeding after swallowing a secret message.
* March of 1865, Portugal bans paper from the country. Unfortunately, this was impossible, as the paperwork to be signed was sent out of the country.
* 1998 - Wisconsin Elementary student Mark Gifadet perfects his paper airplane design; plans for world domination fail when his teacher is struck through the heart with the plane.
* Late 2005 - Cheney is put through hospitalization after Sharkboy throws toilet paper rolls at him.
What to do if Papercutted
Papercuts happen no matter what you do to avoid them. If you are in the wild or bush and receive a papercut you must immediatly flush the wound with urine and fill the cavity of the cut with leper semen. This with stave off death for half an hour. Hobble off to the nearest stream and ritually wash yourself. It's the best you can do.
If you are in the proper facilities, then follow these instructions to heal yourself.
1. Sit in a comfortable position
2. Wait, sorry. Fetch a ladle and a laser printer
3. Resume your previous position
4. Take apart the printer and mash it to the consistancy of marmelade
5. Using the ladle, apply the printer juice to the area around the wound
6. Let the wound sit for 2-3 hours
Don't forget that it's always better to avoid such accidents than to have to treat them.
A Cure
Scientists in the Ukraine are currently working on a cure for papercuts; so far there has been great progress. Lead scientists across the nation banded together and put their collective efforts to one project. Pills are in the making, and a protective suit prototype is in testing.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Papercutmug. American Jokes are jokes which are not made in America. Yet, these jokes can be made in America, but apart from America, they can also be made in China, Hong Kong SAR, Indonesia, Ethiopia, North Pole, Mars, Venus, Jupiter, the Sun...... wherever place you can think of which allow people to live. American Jokes are simply abbreviated as "AJ", which, obviously, comes from its original name American Joke.
So how did American Jokes become jokes? Once upon a time, there was a place named Quality College where students were capable of making very bad jokes. Those jokes are definitely totally utterly not funny at all, but students just loved making those cold jokes. One day, someone suddenly gave these bad jokes a name, AMERICAN JOKE.
It was rumoured that the term American Joke was invented by a student named "Sir iohC niwdE". Such a term was efficiently spread away by another fellow "A ginM", "maL noraA", "eeL ynneB" and "nhoJ osT". They are the founders of the "American Joke Society" (abbr. AJs), which is one of the biggest AJ as well.
Recently, the rumour was proved to be false. Yet, the rumour still remains to be one of the top AJ recently.
That is why these jokes are called American Jokes nowadays. But in fact no one can really explain how America is connected to those Jokes, or since when has American become a joke. Anyway, the name itself demonstrates the true meaning of the American Joke. It is that, a joke which is expected to be a joke, a joke which is formally a joke, a joke which is supposed to make others laugh, but at the end not being so "joky" as expected at all. Do you find the term American Joke a joke?
However, as students were becoming lazier and lazier, they eventually found the term American Joke too clumsy to pronunce. Instead, they gave this term another shorter version: simply known as AJ. Due to the simplicity of such a term and its effectiveness in preventing people from producing endless meaningless non-interesting yet troublesome dead-airing cold jokes, it was quickly spread among the community that nowadays every one knows about "AJ".
So how did American Jokes become jokes? Once upon a time, there was a place named Quality College where students were capable of making very bad jokes. Those jokes are definitely totally utterly not funny at all, but students just loved making those cold jokes. One day, someone suddenly gave these bad jokes a name, AMERICAN JOKE.
It was rumoured that the term American Joke was invented by a student named "Sir iohC niwdE". Such a term was efficiently spread away by another fellow "A ginM", "maL noraA", "eeL ynneB" and "nhoJ osT". They are the founders of the "American Joke Society" (abbr. AJs), which is one of the biggest AJ as well.
Recently, the rumour was proved to be false. Yet, the rumour still remains to be one of the top AJ recently.
That is why these jokes are called American Jokes nowadays. But in fact no one can really explain how America is connected to those Jokes, or since when has American become a joke. Anyway, the name itself demonstrates the true meaning of the American Joke. It is that, a joke which is expected to be a joke, a joke which is formally a joke, a joke which is supposed to make others laugh, but at the end not being so "joky" as expected at all. Do you find the term American Joke a joke?
However, as students were becoming lazier and lazier, they eventually found the term American Joke too clumsy to pronunce. Instead, they gave this term another shorter version: simply known as AJ. Due to the simplicity of such a term and its effectiveness in preventing people from producing endless meaningless non-interesting yet troublesome dead-airing cold jokes, it was quickly spread among the community that nowadays every one knows about "AJ".
Here are some practical daily examples of American Joke:
1. "American Jokes are good jokes."
2. "Fine, thank you."
"You too."
"You three."
"You four five six seven eight......"
3. "Today I accidentally crashed into John and BJ."
"Oh really? Does it hurt?"
4. "John, congratulations for winning the champion. You are now the Macau Shooting Star!"
"Macau Shooting Star? Does that mean I can shoot stars in Macau? How do I shoot them?"
5. "BJ who is a DJ loves AJ."
There are too many examples to be named. Please be kind to add in your own version of American Jokes and they better are your own creations. The world of American Jokes should not contain any boundary.
1. "American Jokes are good jokes."
2. "Fine, thank you."
"You too."
"You three."
"You four five six seven eight......"
3. "Today I accidentally crashed into John and BJ."
"Oh really? Does it hurt?"
4. "John, congratulations for winning the champion. You are now the Macau Shooting Star!"
"Macau Shooting Star? Does that mean I can shoot stars in Macau? How do I shoot them?"
5. "BJ who is a DJ loves AJ."
There are too many examples to be named. Please be kind to add in your own version of American Jokes and they better are your own creations. The world of American Jokes should not contain any boundary.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the American Jokemug. Static Electricity was discovered in an incredibly large box by 4 Tax Collectors. So far, almost 3 applications have been found for it.
In the olden days it was used to drain the colour out of the world, and make everyone walk too fast.
These days however, it is mainly used for Special Effects, used in such films as The Blair Witch Project.
In 600 BC it was discovered that rubbing a piece of amber with cat fur would cause it to attract small pieces of paper. This discovery led to the invention of the first apparatus for the mass production of static electricity, in which a number of cats are attached to the rim of a rotating wheel, aligned such that their fur comes into contact with a specially shaped block of amber.
Maintenance of the device proved to be almost impossible as any engineer attempting to remove the wheel from its mountings would be instantly lacerated by the sharp claws of the highly charged cats, so the 17th century German scientist Otto von Guericke improved on the design by replacing the cats with balls of sulphur.
By this time the uses for static electricity were growing in number and variety, and maintaining the supply of cats and sulphur presented great problems. A method of storing and transporting static electricity was clearly needed.
Early attempts to use cardboard boxes for this job proved unreliable and dangerous, as the electricity would leak from the bottom of the box and cause contamination of the ground. This proved especially problematic for sheep farmers as the escaped electricity would cause the sheeps' wool to stand on end. Any slight breeze would pick up the sheep and carry them for miles, much like a dandelion seed.
Enter the Dutch physicist Pieter van Musschenbroek who hit upon the revolutionary idea of storing the electricity in a bottle. This proved much more reliable because a simple cork could be used to prevent the electricity from spilling out. His invention was titled the Leyden jar because nobody could remember how to spell "van Musschenbroek".
In the olden days it was used to drain the colour out of the world, and make everyone walk too fast.
These days however, it is mainly used for Special Effects, used in such films as The Blair Witch Project.
In 600 BC it was discovered that rubbing a piece of amber with cat fur would cause it to attract small pieces of paper. This discovery led to the invention of the first apparatus for the mass production of static electricity, in which a number of cats are attached to the rim of a rotating wheel, aligned such that their fur comes into contact with a specially shaped block of amber.
Maintenance of the device proved to be almost impossible as any engineer attempting to remove the wheel from its mountings would be instantly lacerated by the sharp claws of the highly charged cats, so the 17th century German scientist Otto von Guericke improved on the design by replacing the cats with balls of sulphur.
By this time the uses for static electricity were growing in number and variety, and maintaining the supply of cats and sulphur presented great problems. A method of storing and transporting static electricity was clearly needed.
Early attempts to use cardboard boxes for this job proved unreliable and dangerous, as the electricity would leak from the bottom of the box and cause contamination of the ground. This proved especially problematic for sheep farmers as the escaped electricity would cause the sheeps' wool to stand on end. Any slight breeze would pick up the sheep and carry them for miles, much like a dandelion seed.
Enter the Dutch physicist Pieter van Musschenbroek who hit upon the revolutionary idea of storing the electricity in a bottle. This proved much more reliable because a simple cork could be used to prevent the electricity from spilling out. His invention was titled the Leyden jar because nobody could remember how to spell "van Musschenbroek".
by kodiac1 July 3, 2006
Get the Static electricitymug. A flange is a metalic flan or quiche which forms the staple food for robots. Although robots do also enjoy snacking on staples, staples are not the staple food.
The first flange was baked in 1736 (that's just after 25 minutes to six) by Mrs Helen Highwater of Wales. This original flange was cooked to a prehistoric Italian recipe, using a simple combination of copper and iron. Today, the copper and iron flange is called Flange Lorraine or Flance Margharitta, both of which mean "plain and boring, somewhat tasteless, but nevertheless cheap and therefore relatively good value for money flange".
Mrs Highwater fed the original flange to her favourite robotic sheep, LLangchgoch-
gowbylloflen-
ogocgochgoch-
llanllanlllan. The sheep, together with the remains of the flange, can be seen in the International Museum of Flanges in the United States city of Baghdad.
The development of the flange was slow at first, until the Great Staple Crisis of 1987, which led to the establishment of the LLangochgochllogowbyllof
llenogochgochgochllanl
lanllllllllan Flange Export Company. The flange was simultaneously patented by Microsoft, Apple computer, Wikimedia, Mozilla and Coca Cola in the USA, but in the rest of the world is manufacturered solely by anyone.
The first flange was baked in 1736 (that's just after 25 minutes to six) by Mrs Helen Highwater of Wales. This original flange was cooked to a prehistoric Italian recipe, using a simple combination of copper and iron. Today, the copper and iron flange is called Flange Lorraine or Flance Margharitta, both of which mean "plain and boring, somewhat tasteless, but nevertheless cheap and therefore relatively good value for money flange".
Mrs Highwater fed the original flange to her favourite robotic sheep, LLangchgoch-
gowbylloflen-
ogocgochgoch-
llanllanlllan. The sheep, together with the remains of the flange, can be seen in the International Museum of Flanges in the United States city of Baghdad.
The development of the flange was slow at first, until the Great Staple Crisis of 1987, which led to the establishment of the LLangochgochllogowbyllof
llenogochgochgochllanl
lanllllllllan Flange Export Company. The flange was simultaneously patented by Microsoft, Apple computer, Wikimedia, Mozilla and Coca Cola in the USA, but in the rest of the world is manufacturered solely by anyone.
flange =D... =)... =|...
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Flangemug.