Kodiac1's definitions
The Dollar Tree is a rare tree found in
* Bill Gates' backyard
* The White House
* Kentucky
* Sims 2
It will grow you FREE money. On occasion, it will grow crappy merchendise such as plastic food. The seeds will be found in certain parts of Ireland. How do you think leprichauns get so many pots of gold? Yeah... Dollar Trees.
The Dollar Tree grows only in the warm climate of Kentucky or special patches which have been discovered by special people like Bill Gates. It is required to be watered five times a week and must be feed with a mixture of ground credit cards and crumbled checks. Mix it in with ground diamond powder. Wash, rince, repeat. After about a month, the tree will be fully grown. When harvested, the money you make will be $1,000,000. After a few years, you will be as rich as Bill Gates and possibly even have 99.9999999999999% of all the money in the world! Bad seasons will replace all of the money with crappy toys and stuff. There is a legend of a company who likes to steal the stuff and sell it in retail stores all over the USA! But there has been no evidence of this. and did you know... that dollar trees are incredibly well known in us
Fun Facts
* This is where money gets the green color
* Special edition Dollar Trees will give you gold!
* Slightly less special trees will give you silver.
* the doller tree is related to cotton, and jeans.
* Bill Gates' backyard
* The White House
* Kentucky
* Sims 2
It will grow you FREE money. On occasion, it will grow crappy merchendise such as plastic food. The seeds will be found in certain parts of Ireland. How do you think leprichauns get so many pots of gold? Yeah... Dollar Trees.
The Dollar Tree grows only in the warm climate of Kentucky or special patches which have been discovered by special people like Bill Gates. It is required to be watered five times a week and must be feed with a mixture of ground credit cards and crumbled checks. Mix it in with ground diamond powder. Wash, rince, repeat. After about a month, the tree will be fully grown. When harvested, the money you make will be $1,000,000. After a few years, you will be as rich as Bill Gates and possibly even have 99.9999999999999% of all the money in the world! Bad seasons will replace all of the money with crappy toys and stuff. There is a legend of a company who likes to steal the stuff and sell it in retail stores all over the USA! But there has been no evidence of this. and did you know... that dollar trees are incredibly well known in us
Fun Facts
* This is where money gets the green color
* Special edition Dollar Trees will give you gold!
* Slightly less special trees will give you silver.
* the doller tree is related to cotton, and jeans.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the Dollar Tree mug.Robert the Bruce was allowed to be King of Scotland after apologising to Mel Gibson for trying to kill him as a sort of witty joke. Encouraged by an encounter with a spider on the Isle of Arran, he burned his bannocks or "boxer shorts" in front of the English Army, and proceeded to slaughter them because of his ingenious rules of battle (whereby anyone who correctly guessed their enemy's nationality was allowed "free hits").
One day Robert the Bruce is coming back, and then certain people will be in big trouble. He will sort everything out. He will tell us what to do. He will buy us presents. He will let us bring in games instead of doing work, and he will give out mini Mars Bars for those who please him. He is not really dead, this is a vicious and unsubstantiated rumour propounded by the same scientists who claim that dinosaurs are extinct.
This is not a joke and is deadly serious. Also he will let us have a go on his horse.
One day Robert the Bruce is coming back, and then certain people will be in big trouble. He will sort everything out. He will tell us what to do. He will buy us presents. He will let us bring in games instead of doing work, and he will give out mini Mars Bars for those who please him. He is not really dead, this is a vicious and unsubstantiated rumour propounded by the same scientists who claim that dinosaurs are extinct.
This is not a joke and is deadly serious. Also he will let us have a go on his horse.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the Robert the Bruce mug.New is a synthetic material and it was originally developed as a rubber replacement. But it is nowadays used everywhere from igloos to spandex pants and it has mostly replaced old. The first new factories were located in Jersey. Later there were so much new production there that people called it humorously New Jersey. Nowadays there is a movement lead by Ashton Kutcher against using new because large corporations are accused of using child labour in the production of new. If you have a lot of otherwise useless old you can polish it with new.
New is manufactured and sold all over the world, but it can sometimes be rather expensive. In that case old can be a good substitute of new. If you are really handy you can make new yourself.
New is manufactured and sold all over the world, but it can sometimes be rather expensive. In that case old can be a good substitute of new. If you are really handy you can make new yourself.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the new mug.Laser kittens were created when a horde of killer robots dumped live kittens in nuclear waste. Most of the test kittens were severley injured and used for kitten huffing but some could shoot laser beams from there eyes. After more laser kittens were made the kittens revolted turning all the robots into melted metal. After this the laser kittens had no home so they turned to Super Jesus. Super Jesus started caring for them and turned them into his minions of doom.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
This large battle took place in Tokyo like in most monster fights the Japanese just stood and pointed. Oprah had help from Mothra and Mecha Buddha. Many kittens were slain by the merciless hands of Oprah. The fight ended when Super Jesus came to the aid of the laser kittens. Fire not neccesary to make kittens!
One of the saddest things about the laser kittens is that Richard Simmons will routinley shave the kittens for thier hair, in an effort to enlarge his white man fro. After the shaving sequnce is complete, he slays the kittens and turns them into puppets. He uses these puppets to help coreograph his dancing to the oldies video series.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the Laser kittens mug.A butter knife is a knife made from butter. As knives go it's pretty good as long as you keep it very cold.
Waaaay back before the Bronze Age, there is no evidence of butter implements being used. However, we are sure that the cavemen used butter knives of a rudimentary design. Unfortunately for archaeologists, global warming of the earth over the past few thousand years has caused all ancient butter knives to melt. All that is left are a few knife-shaped grease stains. I wish people would stop warming thier bloody globals, it's causing untold damage.
We do know that the Neanderthals used butter spears to kill their prey, and butter arrows and quivers were used in the middle ages. Evidence for this has been found in the European Butter Mountains.
Waaaay back before the Bronze Age, there is no evidence of butter implements being used. However, we are sure that the cavemen used butter knives of a rudimentary design. Unfortunately for archaeologists, global warming of the earth over the past few thousand years has caused all ancient butter knives to melt. All that is left are a few knife-shaped grease stains. I wish people would stop warming thier bloody globals, it's causing untold damage.
We do know that the Neanderthals used butter spears to kill their prey, and butter arrows and quivers were used in the middle ages. Evidence for this has been found in the European Butter Mountains.
How to make a butter knife:
Take some fresh dairy butter and sharpen the butter until razor sharp. Keep in the fridge.
Take some fresh dairy butter and sharpen the butter until razor sharp. Keep in the fridge.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the Butter knife mug.Bah! Doom is here to prove that Athens, early Rome, and all three George W.'s (George Washington, George W Bush, and his father) all had their heads on backwards and their eyes twirled toward non-existant gophers.
1st Fundemental Flaw: People Are Like Monkeys: they're bananas.
Minor Elections
1. Exactly 5 people in any given general election know who any candidates are other than the presidential candidates.
2. Those five people know who other candidates are because they are physically unable to stop watching television, and thus cannot rise and vote anyway.
3. And nobody else cares about local politics.
4. Yet local elections still take a fair turnout. Why? Imagine you walk into a room expecting to eat a hot dog. And so you do. But after eating the hot dog, you turn to find the door locked. You look around and find the room completely white, and so unremarkable that you immediately collapse into explosive boredom, prepared to go insane from sensory deprivation. But wait. There is something you can do. Somebody has left you two check boxes and a pencil. Could be fun to check one of them. OOh! That was fun! Let's do it again! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check!
And that's all the thought that goes into voting for a minor office.
1. Now that we're in a childish fantasy world of escaping madness by checking boxes, let's look at the things in the boxes. There are two methods: pick your favorite color, or go with the funniest sounding words. Think about it. Wouldn't you rather vote for Aquamarine Freznit Kerblinkipot!!!! than Bill Gray...
Major Elections
1. A person's choice in a major election is determined solely by:
whether the person prefers eating deer, or petting deer. or "I'll change my opinion if either of you offers me a cheap Chevy Suburban."
This is vastly different than Doom's preference of hooking cybernetic warmachines and maybe a vampire to a deer.
Flaw #2. Why elections don't matter anyway.
Say Congressman A is elected to represent party B, which opposes party C.
1. Congressman A does all he can to meet the interest of those corporations (and individuals, if you really believe that) that he can in party B.
2. Congressman A can't do too much, because congressman D, who represents party C, has devised a system in which every action Congressman A attempts is, instead of being debated in congress, thrown to the judicial or executive houses, which party C controlls. And thus you might as well have elected congressman D, so something at least can pass.
3. But even if you'd have voted for Mr. D, your vote would have been lost in the shady bowels of a voting machine manufactured by members of party B.
4. And in the event of significant political pressure, Mr. A will be more than happy at any rate to call himself a "moderate" and swing over to party C for moral reasons.
The Amazing, Spectacular Alternative of Dictatorship!
1. So you don't care who gets elected locally? Neither does Doom! Anybody can represent my explicit, iron will when I threaten their life!
2. Your political inclination may be shallowly motivated, but Doom has all sorts of good reasons why I should rule every aspect of your lives! And mine is the opinion that counts!
3. No congressmen will waste time bickering when Doom gives an order! You'll build that giant statue of me on your house's roof, or I'm injecting flesh eating robots under your skin, locking you inside your house, burning it down, and then building a statue of me on your roof. See, no tricky political loopholes there!
4. Political appearance. Imagine your average political debate on TV or your average senate meeting or what have you. Nothing but old people in suits arguing with each other. Now imagine Doom there. Doom is wearing high tech power armor and a cape, ranting in third person, and shooting lasers at whoever dares to disagree with the majesty that is Doom. Doesn't that make for more entertaining politics?
But wait, there's more!
Why settle for mere Dictatorship when you can get a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator for the same price, that is, your total and unwavering obediance!
"But what's so good about a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator?" you ask?
What's good is that if you question my authority again, nobody will ever find your body! But let me show you what's good:
1. Tired of having to make all those icky and hard decisions? Never again when Doom applies his special remedy, a mandatory nationwide 30 year draft of children 6 years old and up! Never will you have to make a desicion because when you serve in the Doom army, thinking is a death penalty, and we know, oh we know.
2. A thief in your house? Stole all your valubles? Worry no more, crimes like these will be no more when Doom takes away all your property and possessions and puts them under control of the government, and if someone did steal from you, you'd best not complain because then we'll know, and if we know, you know no more.
3. Tired of waking up to the sound of protest? Just want to kill those stupid, filthy, disgusting hippies? Worry no more, a nationwide death penalty against Liberalism will cure those pro-"free thinking" douchebags.
4. Never worry about abortion any more. Obviously, a woman who needs an abortion is a whore. If she wants her fetus killed, the government will assist her by executing her and then the baby will die with her. Either that or we'll turn them both into killer cyborgs and wipe their minds clean so they won't remember their past.
5. Education, everyone will get a free education equally. Everyone is subject to brainwashing and mind wiping before they become a killer cyborg in our military. Since we draft everyone from age six and up, they all get a free education in our military.
6. Religion, no doubts about it, everyone will have religion as everyone must worship Dr. Doom as a god. When you are brainwashed and mind wiped, you will be programmed to worship Dr. Doom anyway. Are you a die-hard militant Atheist? It does not matter as you will be converted to Doomism anyway whether you like it or not, and you will be programmed to like it.
1st Fundemental Flaw: People Are Like Monkeys: they're bananas.
Minor Elections
1. Exactly 5 people in any given general election know who any candidates are other than the presidential candidates.
2. Those five people know who other candidates are because they are physically unable to stop watching television, and thus cannot rise and vote anyway.
3. And nobody else cares about local politics.
4. Yet local elections still take a fair turnout. Why? Imagine you walk into a room expecting to eat a hot dog. And so you do. But after eating the hot dog, you turn to find the door locked. You look around and find the room completely white, and so unremarkable that you immediately collapse into explosive boredom, prepared to go insane from sensory deprivation. But wait. There is something you can do. Somebody has left you two check boxes and a pencil. Could be fun to check one of them. OOh! That was fun! Let's do it again! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check!
And that's all the thought that goes into voting for a minor office.
1. Now that we're in a childish fantasy world of escaping madness by checking boxes, let's look at the things in the boxes. There are two methods: pick your favorite color, or go with the funniest sounding words. Think about it. Wouldn't you rather vote for Aquamarine Freznit Kerblinkipot!!!! than Bill Gray...
Major Elections
1. A person's choice in a major election is determined solely by:
whether the person prefers eating deer, or petting deer. or "I'll change my opinion if either of you offers me a cheap Chevy Suburban."
This is vastly different than Doom's preference of hooking cybernetic warmachines and maybe a vampire to a deer.
Flaw #2. Why elections don't matter anyway.
Say Congressman A is elected to represent party B, which opposes party C.
1. Congressman A does all he can to meet the interest of those corporations (and individuals, if you really believe that) that he can in party B.
2. Congressman A can't do too much, because congressman D, who represents party C, has devised a system in which every action Congressman A attempts is, instead of being debated in congress, thrown to the judicial or executive houses, which party C controlls. And thus you might as well have elected congressman D, so something at least can pass.
3. But even if you'd have voted for Mr. D, your vote would have been lost in the shady bowels of a voting machine manufactured by members of party B.
4. And in the event of significant political pressure, Mr. A will be more than happy at any rate to call himself a "moderate" and swing over to party C for moral reasons.
The Amazing, Spectacular Alternative of Dictatorship!
1. So you don't care who gets elected locally? Neither does Doom! Anybody can represent my explicit, iron will when I threaten their life!
2. Your political inclination may be shallowly motivated, but Doom has all sorts of good reasons why I should rule every aspect of your lives! And mine is the opinion that counts!
3. No congressmen will waste time bickering when Doom gives an order! You'll build that giant statue of me on your house's roof, or I'm injecting flesh eating robots under your skin, locking you inside your house, burning it down, and then building a statue of me on your roof. See, no tricky political loopholes there!
4. Political appearance. Imagine your average political debate on TV or your average senate meeting or what have you. Nothing but old people in suits arguing with each other. Now imagine Doom there. Doom is wearing high tech power armor and a cape, ranting in third person, and shooting lasers at whoever dares to disagree with the majesty that is Doom. Doesn't that make for more entertaining politics?
But wait, there's more!
Why settle for mere Dictatorship when you can get a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator for the same price, that is, your total and unwavering obediance!
"But what's so good about a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator?" you ask?
What's good is that if you question my authority again, nobody will ever find your body! But let me show you what's good:
1. Tired of having to make all those icky and hard decisions? Never again when Doom applies his special remedy, a mandatory nationwide 30 year draft of children 6 years old and up! Never will you have to make a desicion because when you serve in the Doom army, thinking is a death penalty, and we know, oh we know.
2. A thief in your house? Stole all your valubles? Worry no more, crimes like these will be no more when Doom takes away all your property and possessions and puts them under control of the government, and if someone did steal from you, you'd best not complain because then we'll know, and if we know, you know no more.
3. Tired of waking up to the sound of protest? Just want to kill those stupid, filthy, disgusting hippies? Worry no more, a nationwide death penalty against Liberalism will cure those pro-"free thinking" douchebags.
4. Never worry about abortion any more. Obviously, a woman who needs an abortion is a whore. If she wants her fetus killed, the government will assist her by executing her and then the baby will die with her. Either that or we'll turn them both into killer cyborgs and wipe their minds clean so they won't remember their past.
5. Education, everyone will get a free education equally. Everyone is subject to brainwashing and mind wiping before they become a killer cyborg in our military. Since we draft everyone from age six and up, they all get a free education in our military.
6. Religion, no doubts about it, everyone will have religion as everyone must worship Dr. Doom as a god. When you are brainwashed and mind wiped, you will be programmed to worship Dr. Doom anyway. Are you a die-hard militant Atheist? It does not matter as you will be converted to Doomism anyway whether you like it or not, and you will be programmed to like it.
So, in conclusion, Doom is your ROCK 'N' ROLL GANGSTER OVERLORD, AND YOU AIN'T DOIN' NOTHIN' ABOUT IT!
Dr. Doom's Proof of Inherent Flaws in Democracy
Dr. Doom's Proof of Inherent Flaws in Democracy
by kodiac1 July 5, 2006
Get the Dr. Doom's Proof of Inherent Flaws in Democracy mug.In most geek communities, being hit by a clue-by-four is generally a sign that the hitter (person doing the hitting) believes the hittee (person being hit) to be an inferior form of life and therefore in need of a good whalloping.
In the past the idea behind the clue-by-four was that you were beating some sense into the hittee. Unfortunately it was later discovered that being hit on the head with a large wooden plank with "CLUE" written on it actually caused a loss of brain cells in the hittee. When you consider that the original intention of the hitter was to provide the hittee with some in the first place, this then put the hittee in a deficit of brain cells. Life, the universe, and everything being what it is, likes to be in a state of balance. So in order to solve the problem of the brain-cell deficit, the hittee would proceed to ask ever increasingly stupid questions causing the original hitter to smack his or her head against a wall, therefore restoring the balance.
For the purpose of beating sense into people, the clue-by-four was replaced by a large foam clue bat which has much the same result as the clue-by-four except does not kill what few brain cells the hittee may or may not already possess. Though the tool of choice now is the foam clue bat, the clue-by-four is still in regular use. It was renamed to the "Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool" which was then shortened to LART.
The key difference between the two tools, though they have the same origins, is what implications of being hit by one might have to your standing in the community that you are a part of.
To be hit with a large foam clue bat signifies that the hitter believes you are being immensely stupid and need correcting in a way that you will never forget, for your own good. Being LARTed is somewhat more common despite it's neurological implications and the fact that it is generally more serious. To be LARTed means that the hitter believes you have done or said something mind-bubblingly stupid and must be punished for your crime. You are not expected to gain anything from the experience as no friendly "constructive criticism" or advice will be given with the LARTing.
It has been theorized is that being hit by a clue-by-four only dislodges the slower, denser brain cells allowing the faster, smarter brian cells more chance of forming rational thought. The tests, however, have been inconcluive; showing positive results in only 42% of subjects.
In the past the idea behind the clue-by-four was that you were beating some sense into the hittee. Unfortunately it was later discovered that being hit on the head with a large wooden plank with "CLUE" written on it actually caused a loss of brain cells in the hittee. When you consider that the original intention of the hitter was to provide the hittee with some in the first place, this then put the hittee in a deficit of brain cells. Life, the universe, and everything being what it is, likes to be in a state of balance. So in order to solve the problem of the brain-cell deficit, the hittee would proceed to ask ever increasingly stupid questions causing the original hitter to smack his or her head against a wall, therefore restoring the balance.
For the purpose of beating sense into people, the clue-by-four was replaced by a large foam clue bat which has much the same result as the clue-by-four except does not kill what few brain cells the hittee may or may not already possess. Though the tool of choice now is the foam clue bat, the clue-by-four is still in regular use. It was renamed to the "Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool" which was then shortened to LART.
The key difference between the two tools, though they have the same origins, is what implications of being hit by one might have to your standing in the community that you are a part of.
To be hit with a large foam clue bat signifies that the hitter believes you are being immensely stupid and need correcting in a way that you will never forget, for your own good. Being LARTed is somewhat more common despite it's neurological implications and the fact that it is generally more serious. To be LARTed means that the hitter believes you have done or said something mind-bubblingly stupid and must be punished for your crime. You are not expected to gain anything from the experience as no friendly "constructive criticism" or advice will be given with the LARTing.
It has been theorized is that being hit by a clue-by-four only dislodges the slower, denser brain cells allowing the faster, smarter brian cells more chance of forming rational thought. The tests, however, have been inconcluive; showing positive results in only 42% of subjects.
by kodiac1 July 5, 2006
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