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Kodiac1's definitions

Baby Oil

Baby Oil is fat extracted from undeveloped human sources, known as babies.

Like all fats, baby oils are insoluble in water but soluble in cheap vodka.

Oils extracted from minors have been used in many cultures, since ancient times. As an example, a 4000 year old "kitchen" unearthed in Liverpool was found to include an oil press and a large quantity of discarded child-husks. Archeologists believe that the tribes of Ancient Scouse would raise children as a source of cheap fuel.

The uses of baby oils can be divided into three main areas:

* Lubrication
* Fuel
* Threatening Children

Extracting Baby Oil:

* The "traditional" way of extracting baby oil uses several different types of mechanical extraction. This method is preferred by most Eco-Freakies in the USA and in Europe. Cheesegrater extraction is one type, and there are two other types that are both oil presses: the screw press and the ram press. Oil presses are commonly used in developing countries, among people for whom other extraction methods would be prohibitively expensive.

* The "modern" way of acquiring baby oil is by chemical extraction, using solvent extracts, which produces higher yields and is quicker and less messy. The most common solvent is Sunny Delight. This disolves the baby from the inside out, and it is then simple to seperate the oil from the solvent.
No, Baby Oil is not made of babies.... I am only kidding...
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
mugGet the Baby Oilmug.

Friends of Pluto

The Friends of Pluto is a organization created by the Church of Scientology and dedicated to the idea that Pluto is the so-called "Clear Planet". They strive tirelessly to found missions to the dwarf planet, to research its cold and icy wastes, to plunge to very pith of its being and to sell a collection of pro-Pluto propaganda videos titled Pluto: Paradise!

The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.

The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends of Pluto are believed to be behind the reclassification of Pluto as a dwarf planet, for nefarious reasons only known to them.
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
mugGet the Friends of Plutomug.

Stinky tofu

Stinky tofu is a biological weapon developed in China, but now primarily used by Taiwan. It is considered a weapon of mass destruction and its use is banned by the Geneva Convention. Saddam Hussein was accused of having this. Oh, you silly Saddam.
I smell feet!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Stinky tofu
by kodiac1 July 3, 2006
mugGet the Stinky tofumug.

Papercut

Papercuts are deadly and should be avoided at all times. They are an infamous happening throughout the world, with an increasing occurance rate in Asia. Paper Cuts is a rocking Nirvana song off the Bleach album.

* The first recorded recorded incident of a paper cut was 1240 AD, when an English monk pulled out a bible too quickly. The Book of Psalms flew out of the book and slid across his arm. "Damneth thine verses; I smiteth thee!" and other various curses were heard throughout the monestary.
* 1492 - Columbus sets out to the Americas. Returns from trip bearing gifts, King Ferdinand is angered when a scroll injures him.
* Ten years later, the King perishes due to internal bleeding after swallowing a secret message.
* March of 1865, Portugal bans paper from the country. Unfortunately, this was impossible, as the paperwork to be signed was sent out of the country.
* 1998 - Wisconsin Elementary student Mark Gifadet perfects his paper airplane design; plans for world domination fail when his teacher is struck through the heart with the plane.
* Late 2005 - Cheney is put through hospitalization after Sharkboy throws toilet paper rolls at him.

What to do if Papercutted

Papercuts happen no matter what you do to avoid them. If you are in the wild or bush and receive a papercut you must immediatly flush the wound with urine and fill the cavity of the cut with leper semen. This with stave off death for half an hour. Hobble off to the nearest stream and ritually wash yourself. It's the best you can do.

If you are in the proper facilities, then follow these instructions to heal yourself.

1. Sit in a comfortable position
2. Wait, sorry. Fetch a ladle and a laser printer
3. Resume your previous position
4. Take apart the printer and mash it to the consistancy of marmelade
5. Using the ladle, apply the printer juice to the area around the wound
6. Let the wound sit for 2-3 hours

Don't forget that it's always better to avoid such accidents than to have to treat them.

A Cure

Scientists in the Ukraine are currently working on a cure for papercuts; so far there has been great progress. Lead scientists across the nation banded together and put their collective efforts to one project. Pills are in the making, and a protective suit prototype is in testing.
SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”

~ Oscar Wilde on papercuts
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
mugGet the Papercutmug.

Nuke

Nuke is the greatest tool of peace ever made. It prevent wars and, then it the war starts, nuke finish it quickly.

Nuking Stuff has proven popular over the last few years, especially with nazis, right-wing religious groups and crazed uncles. By far, the most popular nuking method is the old 'drop a nuke' but there are also such more intelligent methods, used by people like George Bush - these include 'get a clever person to plan it for you'.

Nuking stuff to music has also recently become very popular. 'Nuke Music' consists of terrorist bands such as System of a Down, Rage Against the Machine and N-Sync. Professional nukers will also listen to Britney Spears, but this is only for advanced nukers. Another skill often attempted by Nukers is NUKING IN TIME TO MUSIC. This type of nuking involves a rhythm and a beat, and plenty of time and effort. Nukes are launched by correctly stepping on one of four arrows at the right time, the more preciseley the arrow is stepped on the more people are killed. A good Nuker can kill a few billion people (hell, it's China) in one round (a full war takes three rounds).
Nuclear recipe

Here is a recipe to a nuke i found in the oval office

2 kilo's uranium 2 kilo's pie 1 very big empty bomb 60,000 cookies 1 G. bush 1 land to nuke 0 braincells Much insanity

To make:

1. Mix the uranium with the pppie and put it in george bush.

2. Then, after a day, take bush his shit and put it in the bomb.

3. Add cookies

4. Drop it at the land you selected

Done!

The small letter: Uranium can only be found in bush his secret bunker or the planet ur-anus.
by kodiac1 July 12, 2006
mugGet the Nukemug.

Capybara bomb

Do you have an irrational, yet somehow compelling grudge against all of humanity, or even just some sections of it, like France, for example? Perhaps you have a point to make, but writing letters just doesn't cut it, and a big explosion would really help people to get the idea. If this is you, then see a doctor, you mad fucker, the Capybara bomb might be just what you need.

The Capybara bomb is a surprisingly successful stealth weapon composed of:

1. A capybara
2. Dynamite

The animal

Ah, the capybara, my old friend how you lollop through life, swimming in rivers and snuffling dung, all the while unaware that TERRORISTS! are seeking to use you in their nefarious plans. Never mind. Let's take a closer look at the furry little dope.

The capybara (Hydrochoerus hydrochæris) is a semi-aquatic herbivorous animal with a brain the size of a tangerine. Full-grown capybarae reach between 105 and 135 cm (40-55 in) in length. They are peaceful, fun-loving creatures that like dancing and poker. They look like giant guinea pigs.

Most importantly, however, the average capybara can safely hold up to 7 sticks of dynamite.

The dynamite

Any old dynamite will do. Just wash it, shove it in and go.

Advantages

1. Absolutely no one expects that a capybara is going to explode.
2. They are very docile and tolerant animals, and especially so when dynamite is being inserted.

A capybara bomb can be used pretty much anywhere but they are especially useful for TERRORISTS! who hate zoos. The range and damage capabilities of the device are limited to around 1 meter (3.2808399 feet). This is good for blowing up telephone boxes, small cars and litter bins.

Uses

If you want to blow up a really big thing, then you'll need more than one capybara. A whole lorry load of capybarae could probably bring down a Wal-Mart, but if you're stopped for any reason, it's going to be really hard to come up with a sufficiently good reason as to why you are driving a consignment of 500 capybarae with dynamite up their asses, to the Wal-Mart.
Eat my Capybara Bomb, biotch!!
by kodiac1 September 5, 2008
mugGet the Capybara bombmug.

6

6 (uppercase: ^) is a real-live Arabic cardinal numerical integer, the successor to 5 and predecessor to the suspicious 7. It is a real subset of the set of all elements that come between the number infinitely far away from 5.00 and the number infinitely far away from 7.00 in opposite directions, and vice versa. Ordinally, it comes after the fifth number in the sequence of the numbers, and is before the seventh of the same.

In mathematics, the number constitutes a number of the base 10 regiment, or a decimal number, and may be more accurately denoted by the symbols 6.00. 6 is an even number, as opposed to an odd number, and can be created as the product of a 2 and a 3. Due to the phenomenon of reverse truncation, 2+2 approximately equals 6 for very large values of 2.

In finance, 6 is a small amount of currency, and may buy you a small paperback mathematical dictionary in some nations, whilst in others it will barely pay for a financial newspaper. The concept of having less money would be constituted in this situation by having 5.99 of your currency, and the concept of having more money would be constituted by having 6.01.

In literature, 6 is a page on which words are written. As an example, if you were reading the fifth page of the book (page five, that is), then the next page would be called page six (or the sixth page), and vice versa.

In cookery, 6 is a measure of how much of a particular ingredient you include in a dish, and its precise value is determined by the units that are used to suffix the said 6.

In computing, 6 is a key on a keyboard, usually denoted by the '6' symbol, and appearing in all twice on a standard keyboard, once in a horizontal fashion above the letters of the alphabet, in juxtaposition with the numbers 5 and 7; and once on the so-called 'number pad' on the far right of the unit, where it features on the right-hand side, to the right of the button marked '5', below the button marked '9', above that marked '3', and with borders to '8' and '2' also. The former occurrence of 6 wears a hat on standard US keyboards.

In time, 6 o'clock is the time that is one second after 5:59:59, and one second before 6:00:01. This time may be in the morning, or it may be in the evening, but at both times you are likely to find human beings awake.

In describing human directed animal attacks, a homonym of 6 is used as in: "Joe sics his dog on the hapless home invader.".

In medical terminology, 6 is used to describe relative malady as in: "I'm sick's a dog.".

In the calendar, 6 is the day that comes after the 5th day of each month, and comes before the 7th of the same month.

In German the number 6 is spoken like "sex" and therefore a never ending source of stupid jokes.

In base 6, the number 6 is written "10."

On the other hand, in base 5 the number 6 is written "11." This is rather odd since 6 is not an odd number, while 11 is.
A common urban legend tells that 6 is afraid of 7 because "7 8 9". Recent forensic discoveries indicate that 9 probably died of natural causes, and 6's fear of 7 may have stemmed from other causes, such as domestic violence.
by kodiac1 July 5, 2006
mugGet the 6mug.

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