Sparks is a Relationship Guidance company formed in Los Angeles who use words and music to describe common relationship situations. Led by brothers Ron and Russell Mael, Sparks has managed to release over seventy self-help albums, selling over 200 millions albums worldwide.
The Mael brothers private lives has always been drenched in secrecy. Some say that they're jointly married to eight wives, while Russell fervently claims that he is married to Jacqueline Kennedy.
The Mael brothers private lives has always been drenched in secrecy. Some say that they're jointly married to eight wives, while Russell fervently claims that he is married to Jacqueline Kennedy.
Many songs that Sparks have wrote are used by them to help certain sexual problems...
* For The Girls With Everything (Women who are self-obsessed with plastic surgery)
* All You Ever Think About Is Sex (Relationship friction)
* Thanks But No Thanks (How to turn down advances from prostitutes)
* Don't Leave Me Alone With Her (How to decline advances from women)
* Falling In Love With Myself Again (How to combat Mastrubation)
* For The Girls With Everything (Women who are self-obsessed with plastic surgery)
* All You Ever Think About Is Sex (Relationship friction)
* Thanks But No Thanks (How to turn down advances from prostitutes)
* Don't Leave Me Alone With Her (How to decline advances from women)
* Falling In Love With Myself Again (How to combat Mastrubation)
by kodiac1 July 03, 2006
Get the Sparksmug. 7-11 is the historical name ascribed to the most prevalent naturally occuring inconvenience store. Known since antiquity, 7-11 has become the world's foremost purveyor of toxically unhealthy processed food products. Also notable are the frictionless tile floors and the uniformly East Indian service staff.
7-11 has been a recognized natural phenomenon since the dawn of recorded history.
It is believed that the 7-11 was a natural evolution of the 7-10, a prehistoric herd animal. 7-10 were common when the entire landmass of Earth was concentrated into one supercontinent, Pangaea. Herds of 7-10 freely roamed the continent, having only one natural predator - the Chuck Norris. The massive evolutionary strain induced by such a formidable foe necessitated a new evolutionary strategy.
The first 7-11 was created by a confluence of the superintelligent East Indians and a herd of 7-10. This new symbiotic strategy proved successful - so successful, in fact, that individual members could survive without the protection of the herd. 7-11 spread to every corner of the supercontinent before the famed breakup of Pangaea (actually caused by one of Chuck Norris' temper tantrums) and so were located around the planet when humans showed up some hundreds of millions of years later.
The influence of the 7-11 on humanity has been tremendous. Former hunter/gatherer societies, upon finding a cluster of 7-11, would settle there rather than continuing their nomadic lifestyle. With the relief of the burden of constantly searching for food, humans were free to develop other primitive activities, such as religion and the killing of innocent people. It is at this point in history that we see the first evidence of Norris worship, including human sacrifice and execution by roundhouse kicking. The first cities developed around herds of 7-11, and wars were common between those who had access to 7-11 and those who did not have such privilege.
7-11 has been a recognized natural phenomenon since the dawn of recorded history.
It is believed that the 7-11 was a natural evolution of the 7-10, a prehistoric herd animal. 7-10 were common when the entire landmass of Earth was concentrated into one supercontinent, Pangaea. Herds of 7-10 freely roamed the continent, having only one natural predator - the Chuck Norris. The massive evolutionary strain induced by such a formidable foe necessitated a new evolutionary strategy.
The first 7-11 was created by a confluence of the superintelligent East Indians and a herd of 7-10. This new symbiotic strategy proved successful - so successful, in fact, that individual members could survive without the protection of the herd. 7-11 spread to every corner of the supercontinent before the famed breakup of Pangaea (actually caused by one of Chuck Norris' temper tantrums) and so were located around the planet when humans showed up some hundreds of millions of years later.
The influence of the 7-11 on humanity has been tremendous. Former hunter/gatherer societies, upon finding a cluster of 7-11, would settle there rather than continuing their nomadic lifestyle. With the relief of the burden of constantly searching for food, humans were free to develop other primitive activities, such as religion and the killing of innocent people. It is at this point in history that we see the first evidence of Norris worship, including human sacrifice and execution by roundhouse kicking. The first cities developed around herds of 7-11, and wars were common between those who had access to 7-11 and those who did not have such privilege.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
Get the 7-11mug. by Kodiac1 September 27, 2007
Get the negsmug. The Friends of Pluto is a organization created by the Church of Scientology and dedicated to the idea that Pluto is the so-called "Clear Planet". They strive tirelessly to found missions to the dwarf planet, to research its cold and icy wastes, to plunge to very pith of its being and to sell a collection of pro-Pluto propaganda videos titled Pluto: Paradise!
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends of Pluto are believed to be behind the reclassification of Pluto as a dwarf planet, for nefarious reasons only known to them.
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
Get the Friends of Plutomug. The Microsoft DirectX Window System (nicknamed "direct hex" by programmers) is an implementation of the X Window System for, unsurprisingly, Windows. It offers superior video output performance on the ATI and NVidia processors and inferior video output performance on all other processors, including the ones from AMD and Intel. It should be noted that Microsoft doesn't participate in either holy war, instead preferring to remain completely neutral in the question of vendor preference. For another example of Microsoft's neutrality, see x64.
DirectX differs from the official X implementation, which is stolen from XFree86, in the following minor details:
* It isn't stolen. Theoretically, nobody can steal it as well, and practically, nobody cares. Occasionally, the Free Sockpuppet Foundation goes nuts and shouts, "You Wine heretics, you stole it all, you gave up to the evil empire, we're doooomed!!" but it's been quite a while since anyone actually listened to them.
* It has made Ctrl-Alt-Del a well-known key combo.
* It is object-oriented to the point of granularity, passing thru your hands if not micromanaged a small grain at a time in order to produce the smallest of inputs. Its object orientation is language-independent, but crappy in the one true language. Unless you manage to find a cool wrapper library, which will immediately slow down performance almost to the point when you forget about your games and enjoy a slideshow.
* It is easy to use. Seriously. You only need to download a 200 MB SDK and forever forget about these*** stupid->IID_IPointers. It's slightly easier to use than OpenGL without downloading the SDK, which is a significant argument in favor of DirectX as downloading an SDK is no longer a problem in the digital millennium. Until you try to port your application.
* It doesn't include a window management system, there is already one in Windows and we are trying to be as minimalistic as possible. You cannot find an X system distribution as small as 20 MB which includes everything you ever need, including Direct1D, Direct2D DirectDraw, Direct3D, Direct4D, DirectSound, DirectShow, DirectHide, DirectInput, DirectPrint, DirectCD, DirectUSB and all the other subsystems for "direct"-ly (through a small, small hardware abstraction layer called Windows device driver and Win32 API) accessing all imaginable hardware. Until the vendor once again misconfigures the driver. But hey, it's not Microsoft's fault.
* Windows Vista finally bundles a DirectX window manager called Aero, which is a significant improvement over the best X window managers on Earth, such as TWM. From this point, DirectX/Aero will support OpenGL natively, eliminating the extra layer called ICD, for a small performance overhead of 50%. (Some say that ICDs can still be used, but Microsoft predicts that nobody will want to have these beautiful, eye-candy window borders to be even temporarily disabled to run some lame attempt on producing a 3D graphics library.
* It does run on your new video card, which is a vast improvement over the official X. The only drawback is that by the time you cover the security holes in the only system it supports one true system, it will be obsolete by at least a dozen new video cards, and all the coolest DirectX business applications will refuse to run on your card, but will run just fine on the card immediately succeeding yours. Until you install that one.
* Unlike X and its evil NPOV'ized some-say-that-it-is-evil spawn OpenGL, whose goal is not to add any functionality unless the hardware vendors and end users are rioting around your company's headquarters, the goal of DirectX is to add as much objects, function calls, layers of abstraction and obfuscated code as possible, regardless of whether any currently existing hardware is actually capable of understanding what DirectX wants from it, let alone doing what's asked. This clearly shows that Microsoft is thinking of the future and introducing innovation, quantity obscuring quality.
DirectX differs from the official X implementation, which is stolen from XFree86, in the following minor details:
* It isn't stolen. Theoretically, nobody can steal it as well, and practically, nobody cares. Occasionally, the Free Sockpuppet Foundation goes nuts and shouts, "You Wine heretics, you stole it all, you gave up to the evil empire, we're doooomed!!" but it's been quite a while since anyone actually listened to them.
* It has made Ctrl-Alt-Del a well-known key combo.
* It is object-oriented to the point of granularity, passing thru your hands if not micromanaged a small grain at a time in order to produce the smallest of inputs. Its object orientation is language-independent, but crappy in the one true language. Unless you manage to find a cool wrapper library, which will immediately slow down performance almost to the point when you forget about your games and enjoy a slideshow.
* It is easy to use. Seriously. You only need to download a 200 MB SDK and forever forget about these*** stupid->IID_IPointers. It's slightly easier to use than OpenGL without downloading the SDK, which is a significant argument in favor of DirectX as downloading an SDK is no longer a problem in the digital millennium. Until you try to port your application.
* It doesn't include a window management system, there is already one in Windows and we are trying to be as minimalistic as possible. You cannot find an X system distribution as small as 20 MB which includes everything you ever need, including Direct1D, Direct2D DirectDraw, Direct3D, Direct4D, DirectSound, DirectShow, DirectHide, DirectInput, DirectPrint, DirectCD, DirectUSB and all the other subsystems for "direct"-ly (through a small, small hardware abstraction layer called Windows device driver and Win32 API) accessing all imaginable hardware. Until the vendor once again misconfigures the driver. But hey, it's not Microsoft's fault.
* Windows Vista finally bundles a DirectX window manager called Aero, which is a significant improvement over the best X window managers on Earth, such as TWM. From this point, DirectX/Aero will support OpenGL natively, eliminating the extra layer called ICD, for a small performance overhead of 50%. (Some say that ICDs can still be used, but Microsoft predicts that nobody will want to have these beautiful, eye-candy window borders to be even temporarily disabled to run some lame attempt on producing a 3D graphics library.
* It does run on your new video card, which is a vast improvement over the official X. The only drawback is that by the time you cover the security holes in the only system it supports one true system, it will be obsolete by at least a dozen new video cards, and all the coolest DirectX business applications will refuse to run on your card, but will run just fine on the card immediately succeeding yours. Until you install that one.
* Unlike X and its evil NPOV'ized some-say-that-it-is-evil spawn OpenGL, whose goal is not to add any functionality unless the hardware vendors and end users are rioting around your company's headquarters, the goal of DirectX is to add as much objects, function calls, layers of abstraction and obfuscated code as possible, regardless of whether any currently existing hardware is actually capable of understanding what DirectX wants from it, let alone doing what's asked. This clearly shows that Microsoft is thinking of the future and introducing innovation, quantity obscuring quality.
Oscar Wilde's favorite color (blue) shows up regularly as it crashes, along with a broken curse written in hex known as a "hex dump". DirectX
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
Get the directXmug. What Is?
Broken English is form of Binary which can take many long hours to know good but Broken English can teach quicker. Broken English is used for many people in New York City to jpspeak in Canal Street, where this born. Broken English purpose to collect all people on Canal Street, Black People, White People, Asian People to speak one language so no confusion, no?. Many immigrantes from my country do same ting and speak same this way. It give many benefit to us, especially to Russia and Hitler. Broken English is new very fast ... instrument ... to communicate with people that are not you and want to do something when you give money.
Broken English living here.
Broken English born in Canal Street from Michael Lecolant. He was mother. Husband was Your Mom and Your Face. This was maked when two people wasn't allowed to speak Traditional Chinese or Bangladeshian because they did not do learning for it. No homework for both of those people. Michael Lecolant used all english he knew from watching Hey Arnold and Spanish Soccer. After taking much valuabled time from both staring to each othering face, they decide to make new way of speak for each other. Much days were lost, and then Broken English was doing the speaking.
Broken English is form of Binary which can take many long hours to know good but Broken English can teach quicker. Broken English is used for many people in New York City to jpspeak in Canal Street, where this born. Broken English purpose to collect all people on Canal Street, Black People, White People, Asian People to speak one language so no confusion, no?. Many immigrantes from my country do same ting and speak same this way. It give many benefit to us, especially to Russia and Hitler. Broken English is new very fast ... instrument ... to communicate with people that are not you and want to do something when you give money.
Broken English living here.
Broken English born in Canal Street from Michael Lecolant. He was mother. Husband was Your Mom and Your Face. This was maked when two people wasn't allowed to speak Traditional Chinese or Bangladeshian because they did not do learning for it. No homework for both of those people. Michael Lecolant used all english he knew from watching Hey Arnold and Spanish Soccer. After taking much valuabled time from both staring to each othering face, they decide to make new way of speak for each other. Much days were lost, and then Broken English was doing the speaking.
WIN HARD FAST GOOD
Broken English screaming word
Not Expedition but Long Journey hard task
"Look good fast pretty, baby"
~ Jack Johnson on Sex with Broken English
Broken English screaming word
Not Expedition but Long Journey hard task
"Look good fast pretty, baby"
~ Jack Johnson on Sex with Broken English
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
Get the Broken Englishmug. John McCain (Born June 19th, 2086) is an American politican, God and time traveling warrior.
John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum.
McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind.
As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany.
While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.
While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno.
After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.
John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum.
McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind.
As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany.
While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.
While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno.
After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
Get the John McCainmug.