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Kirkury's definitions

Chumpsby Jacquen

Chumpsby Jacquen, pronounced: Chumps be jockin'.

A coverall name and stereotype for the opposite of an internet troll, Karen or Ken.

Chumpsby Jacquen embraces and rewards fly by night, flighty trends via ARGUMENTUM AD POPULUM and relentlessly jocks hypersensationalized and hypersexualized mediocrity. A non confrontational SJW with the hopes of getting jockedm or some other form of reward or social pass, in return.
That broad has no skills, or anything of value or interest, other than a (used) warm slimy hole, yet Chumpsby Jacquen.

It is well known that cops are collectively corrupt, despite theoretical "good" only found in the ideology, but Chumpsby Jacquen, and lickin' the boot.
by Kirkury March 21, 2023
mugGet the Chumpsby Jacquenmug.

Roidtard

The quintessential PED drugged up mental-midget, muscle douche, gym-bro or broad / fitness influencer / crossfitter / MMA fan / Joe Rogan worshipper, who advocate the use of PEDs for aesthetics, under the guise of fitness, while deflecting focus to some casual factor such as eating keto, carnivore, raw diet, or “hard work” (also made possible by PEDs) The roidtard typically gives fitness and health advice, based exclusively off of their appearance, (which would not be possible without drugs) while having no scientific or educational credibility except “bro-science”. They mourn the other roidtards’ premature drug-related or lifestyle deaths, citing how “jacked”, “fire” or inspirational the now maggot-food buffet roidtard was while alive, and using massive amounts of drugs to gain attention and false accolade, which inspres others to do the same.
Fitness influencer "Joesthetics" Lindner died of an aneurysm at 30 because he was a roidtard like Rich Piana, and every other social media muscle douche.

The culture of roidtards is self -fulfilling cycle of self-destruction.
by Kirkury September 12, 2023
mugGet the Roidtardmug.

Shaft Shift

Just when you thought you’ve seen or done it all, an up-and-coming internet trend, designed exclusively for expert global social media afficionados, manifests to show the world what you’re made of.

Welcome to the SHAFTSHIFT challenge.

A challenge poster paints his or her shaft silver or grey with appropriate makeup or paint, then places an automobile stick shift boot over the painted shaft to cover up the 2 nuts secured to the bottom end of the shaft. A black colored racquetball, or the likes, is placed over the head of the shaft to completely conceal the flanged terminal as a shift knob. If installed properly, the shift knob and shift boot will leave only the silver colored shaft visually exposed. (non-discernable appendage) A gloved hand then proceeds to “run through the gears”, to the dubbed sound of an actual audio recording of a manual-transmission shift cycle. (driving or fingerless style gloves are recommended) This should start from idle and go through all available gears to the highest gear audibly discernable. If successfully accomplished, recorded and posted, this qualifies the poster to hashtag as a #shaftshift post. If equipped with a longer bus or truck style gearstick, the poster is allowed to also grip under the shift knob with a gloved second hand, in attempt to qualify for a #doubleclutch identifier as well.
I'm sick of internet girls getting all the attention with their moundpacking and cameltoe posts. I will show them up with a shaft shift they cannot even compete with!
by Kirkury May 25, 2021
mugGet the Shaft Shiftmug.

cop talk

Cop Talk: An exaggeratedly wordy jargon, frequently spoken in a mono-tone passive voice. Descriptive yet extremely vague, this is used when describing a situation in order to increase the appearance of intelligence or credibility, while cloaking truth in a mountain of syllables.
The police officer is using cop talk to convince the jury that his use of force was justified.
by Kirkury December 14, 2015
mugGet the cop talkmug.

flat billed ball cap

The flat billed ball cap, is the modern day dunce hat... brah.
by Kirkury May 29, 2022
mugGet the flat billed ball capmug.

Self-Jocking

To be openly and shamelessly self-absorbed, placing yourself on a pedestal, most times undeservedly and annoyingly so. Being on your own nuts, as if you’re figuratively sucking yourself off for attention and identity-creating affirmation. Auto-hypersensationalism.
Instagram is an excellent platform to observe excessive self-jocking behavior, which reeks of desperation.
by Kirkury October 22, 2020
mugGet the Self-Jockingmug.

End User Syndrome

An ignorant & dissonant state of human existence, where the individual has little knowledge, experience or desire to learn about objective reality or the magnitude of weight the immutable laws of the universe have on everything in existence. Those individuals subject to EUS have their existence completely and unknowingly governed and programmed by socially contrived parameters of “reality”, which in turn render them helpless to navigate “life” in any other state than being an “end user” of products, methods, services created by those employing objective reality. (STEM)
A ubiquitous example is computer technology which has and rendered the world reliant on these devices. Accolades, status, credibility, and power are regularly given to those who simply “use” the devices to document self-jocking, mediocre and un-innovative behavior, which caters only to emotions aligned with the subjectively fabricated parameters of “reality”. This completely overshadows and discounts the tremendous amount of knowledge and understanding which goes into the ideation, creation and production of the devices. This example extends back to mining and refining the materials from the earth, or even further back to how the elements were initially formed. The same can be said about every consumer good in existence. The end user only knows how to Acquire and CONSUME. This is analogous to a monkey picking a banana from a tree and having no knowledge of its origin or subsequent fate once ingested.
End user syndrome ignorance most often times causes the subject to assign hokus-pokery causality to objective reality and natural phenomenon, such as "religion" and "supernatural occurrence".

Some ends users are even touted as “experts” yet are oblivious to anything outside the scope of their parameters of use.

End user syndrome has resulted in an pandemic unparalleled by any other preventable and controllable condition, objective or subjective, in documented history.

Hey Tony, the entire middle of the bell curve has End User Syndrome. It's certainly lonely at the right side of that curve.
by Kirkury October 23, 2020
mugGet the End User Syndromemug.

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