Killing Kittens's definitions
Motion Picture Assosciation of America. An organization that believes it can universalize standards of morality and appropriateness in the social production of film, claiming, of course to have the best interests of the youth of America in mind. Thus it exists in place of parents, rendering the NC-17 rating useless (due to assosciations with porn) but hypocritically using the R rating as a junkbasket and thus proving that theaters rely on audience members under 17 to see R-rated films.
And it is also important to add that the MPAA is a great moral teacher, proving to everyone that nudity and sexuality are more harmful to young people than depictions of graphic violence. A beating, beheading, disembowelment, immolation, crucifixion, dismemberment? No problem! But catch a brief glimpse of a breast or a patch of pubic hair? Pornography!
Where would America be without the MPAA?
And it is also important to add that the MPAA is a great moral teacher, proving to everyone that nudity and sexuality are more harmful to young people than depictions of graphic violence. A beating, beheading, disembowelment, immolation, crucifixion, dismemberment? No problem! But catch a brief glimpse of a breast or a patch of pubic hair? Pornography!
Where would America be without the MPAA?
Thus the erect male member may become the last taboo of cinema censorship, although why tumescence is considered more of a threat to a nation's well-being than the numerous examples of stomach-churning violence, destruction and misogyny that are allowed on screens remains a mystery. --Allan Hunter, "Book of Movie Classics"
by Killing Kittens May 18, 2004
Get the MPAA mug.The state of having the same beliefs and perceptions as you, or being succeptible to their influence.
by Killing Kittens September 9, 2006
Get the open-minded mug.by Killing Kittens June 11, 2004
Get the Alien 3 mug.It was late one night when I was on a road trip with my two friends, Brian and Laura, when we decided to pull over to the side of the road and retire.
"Looks like you'll be sleeping in the car while Laura and I have the tent," Brian said.
"Here's the blanket," he continued, "You'll be fine with this, won't you?"
"Yeah," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"How is one sure of anything?"
"Or that there is any thing to be sure of," he added.
We both nodded, contemplating the profundity.
"Looks like you'll be sleeping in the car while Laura and I have the tent," Brian said.
"Here's the blanket," he continued, "You'll be fine with this, won't you?"
"Yeah," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"How is one sure of anything?"
"Or that there is any thing to be sure of," he added.
We both nodded, contemplating the profundity.
by Killing Kittens October 6, 2004
Get the philosophy mug.A person with penises for eyes. Very inconvenient, as you can imagine, but perhaps they could be of use in the porn industry.
My friend Kevin once said to me, in a fit of drunken stupidity, "Dude, I wish my eyes were penises!"
Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.
He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his cheeks.
Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!
Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.
He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his cheeks.
Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!
by Killing Kittens October 20, 2004
Get the Fuckface mug.A movie monster that is supposed to be some sort of radioactive dinosaur but in reality has all the qualities of a giant newt, including amphibious habits, a slow and clumsy gait, a cute face, and the ability to regenerate.
The original Godzilla film, which was originally entitled Gojira in native Japan, was a cheesy, exploitative B-grade movie with an iron-fisted and rather pedestrian attempt at social commentary. It was followed by 26 redundant and largely unimganative sequels, a terrible American remake, and countless fans who somehow think that this was a better example of the craft of movie-making and artistic siginificance than "King Kong" (1933).
The original Godzilla film, which was originally entitled Gojira in native Japan, was a cheesy, exploitative B-grade movie with an iron-fisted and rather pedestrian attempt at social commentary. It was followed by 26 redundant and largely unimganative sequels, a terrible American remake, and countless fans who somehow think that this was a better example of the craft of movie-making and artistic siginificance than "King Kong" (1933).
Do you want to watch a truly horrifying movie that is a warning about nuclear warfare? Watch "The Day After" (1983). Godzilla is pure escapism.
by Killing Kittens July 18, 2006
Get the Godzilla mug.by Killing Kittens May 18, 2004
Get the kittens mug.