Killing Kittens's definitions
A person with penises for eyes. Very inconvenient, as you can imagine, but perhaps they could be of use in the porn industry.
My friend Kevin once said to me, in a fit of drunken stupidity, "Dude, I wish my eyes were penises!"
Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.
He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his cheeks.
Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!
Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.
He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his cheeks.
Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!
by Killing Kittens October 20, 2004
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I wish urbandictionary.com would tell you when enough people dislike your definition and want it dead.
by Killing Kittens October 14, 2004
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Get the erotica mug."I'd feel guilty taking your virginity away from you," she said, "You're so . . . nice."
"It's not like I value it," said he.
"It's not like I value it," said he.
by Killing Kittens November 1, 2004
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All fiction is at least partially autobiographical, and all autobiography is at least partially fiction.
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