Killing Kittens's definitions

atheist

A worshipper of the self or the god of science, often unknowingly religious.

An atheist can speak of moral relativism, but not live it.

by Killing Kittens September 14, 2004

virginity

What women are proud to have and men are ashamed of.

"I'd feel guilty taking your virginity away from you," she said, "You're so . . . nice."

"It's not like I value it," said he.

by Killing Kittens November 1, 2004

Constipation

A condition, usually mental, that prevents life's natural flow.

The constipated computer I was working on was so slow it prevented me from sending the email.

by Killing Kittens November 7, 2004

dendrophilia

Sexual arousal derrived from trees.

Dendrophilia by Promiscuous Corndog © 2002

Written by Bobbert Mackenzie & Jay Best



Today, I humped a tree

I had to pee

No place to go but behind a tree

I saw

A hollow knothole

So I said to myself

I’ll give it a go



I humped a tree

I humped a tree

I humped a tree

Ohhhhhhhhhhh



The cops got me

They had to stop me

They threw me in jail

That’s where you come in

I need you to pay my bail



I humped a tree

I humped a tree

They threw me in jail



I humped a tree

I humped a tree

They threw me in jail



….beeb

by Killing Kittens October 7, 2004

dinosaur

The greatest, most diverse and successful class of land vertibrates ever, believed to have originated sometime in the Triassic about 240 million years ago, and disappearing around 65 million years ago. Gods among animals, and awesome testaments to the power of creation (or evolution, if your must insist that these words be mutually exclusive) they were physiologically superior to mammals and gave rise to birds.

Often our society shows a disinterest with the phenomena of the dinosauria, approaching paleontology with a "they're dead, who cares" attitude. They are also ridiculed for having "died out" when they in fact persisted a period of something like 160 million years--more than 40 times longer than the time elapsed since the earliest human anscestors appeared. Even the word "dinosaur" has a deprecative connotation, implying something that is outdated or obsolete.

Stop for a moment to consider that these animals did, in fact exist, and are not the chimeras of children. This writer would maintain, however, that anyone holding the view that an interest in dinosaurs is nerdy and childish deserves to have his or head bitten off by a Charcharodontosaurus.

Lots of kids my age got hooked on dinosaurs for a while--it was a childhood disease, like mumps or chicken pox, and if left alone, most kids recovered and then had a lifetime immunity to dinosaurmania. But I was that rare exception, a terminal, chronic case.-- Robert T. Bakker, "The Dinosaur Heresies"

by Killing Kittens May 18, 2004

Sensitive

The last thing a woman wants a man to be, yet, because she does not know herself, hypocritically claims to be looking for.

Women have never, ever liked sensitive guys, unless they are also assholes.

by Killing Kittens March 30, 2005

Wussy

See the definition of wuss.

David DeAngelo says that every guy who is not a shallow, egotistical, misogynistic asshole is a wussy.

by Killing Kittens February 24, 2005