Kevnar's definitions

Hollywood IQ

The apparent idiocy of a character in a movie that does selectively moronic things that no real human being would ever do, usually for the purpose of advancing a lousy plot. Examples include, going back for the dog, entering a creepy-looking house alone wearing only your panties, and of course suddenly forgiving a love interest who treated you like dirt through the whole movie just for the sake of a happy ending.

"He's smart enough to concoct an experimental serum to genetically enhance the human body and mind, but dumb enough to try it on himself first, before testing it on rats or bunnies. WTF?"
"Hollywood IQ. Definitely."

"She's supposedly a mental olympian competing with the intellectual elite in a tournament in another city, but she doesn't even notice chaotic screaming and a 1500ft wave coming right at her as she goes back to fetch some stranger's purse from a taxi. Right..."
"She's operating with a Hollywood IQ, man. Give her a break."

by Kevnar August 26, 2009

Smitch

A word game played between bored friends where one person puts together a random string of letters into a pronounceable, but non-English word, and the other person has to explain what incident created that sound effect. The more hilarious the better.

John: Let's play Smitch.
Jared: Okay. I'll start... "Fliff!"
John: A mosquito flying into a candle flame.
Jared: Good one.
John: "Kloink!"
Jared: Someone flings a quarter at a veterans parade and it bounces off an old dude's helmet.
John: Ha ha ha! Yeah... "Kloink!"

by kevnar March 1, 2009

Where the hell's this god of yours?

From Forest Gump. Said to someone who predicted or promised something that never quite showed up, as in the mountains of shrimp Forest prayed for. The implication is that it may show up yet, but you doubt it.

Robert: "You said it was supposed to be sunny today? Where the hell's this god of yours?"

John: "You gotta see this guitar player, man! He's like better than Jimmy Page!"
Tim (forty-five minutes later): "Where the hell's this god of yours?""

by Kevnar January 28, 2008

TFN

"They're fucked now..." Muttered in a movie theater at a point in the show when imminent doom descends upon a group of characters. Or, if it's only one person, HFN or SFN for "He's fucked now" or "She's fucked now".

Dan: "Ha ha! The bomb's gonna go off on 15 seconds and they just dropped the wire cutters down the sewer drain!"
Bill: "Ha ha! TFN!"

Gary: "Hanging onto the cliff with bloody fingernails, and the bad guy steps up with a shotgun. HFN..."

by kevnar April 5, 2008

Stand-by

(noun) Synonymous with booty call and FWB, a girl who you're not in a relationship with, but who will drop everything and come over to have sex with you the minute you ask. She is said to be standing-by, just waiting for your call, shelved as it were. A stand-by is usually a girl who really likes you and wants to be in a relationship with you, and keeps putting out, hoping you'll change your mind, and you just keep stringing her along for the easy sex. Women can have stand-bys too, but its usually more about dating than sex for them.

1. Daniel: "Man, am I ever horny tonight!"
Jonas: "Don't you have any stand-bys? Call up that Andrea chick. She'll come over and do you."

2. Krista: "I have no one to go to the dance with on Friday!"
Marie: "Call Keith. Isn't he your regular stand-by?"

by kevnar February 17, 2007

textnesia

The temporary amnesia you get when texting someone with a question or comment, and having them reply several hours or days, long after you've forgotten what it was you asked them. This also works in chat conversations where the person replies long after you closed the chat window.

Jack: Wanna check out that show on Friday? They got a two for one in the paper today.

Dana (three days later): Sure but I didn't get the paper.

Jack: Huh? What paper? Sorry. Textnesia.

by Kevnar April 11, 2008

going back for the dog

A movie cliché in which half the cast is killed because one of the characters, in a moment of imminent disaster, went back to save their dog, purse, sentimental trinket, or other such non-essential item. Often used by movie makers to ramp up the tension at crucial moments, but usually it ends up just looking idiotic.

"Look at her. There's a 1000 ft wave heading towards them at 700 miles per hour and she's going back for the dog."

"Okay, the frickin' world's about to end and these idiots are running around with suitcases full of their belongings. Talk about going back for the dog."

by Kevnar January 27, 2007