JustAnotherGuy's definitions

Cop Karma

"Intellectual" phenomena that leads people to believe going 15 under the speed limit for 3 miles after passing a cop will either:

A) Keep said cop from giving them a ticket for flying past him, or
B) Prevent subsequent cops from coming after them because they atoned for their speeding.

Despite the fact that he was doing 80 in a 55 zone when he passed the cop, the idiot in the Corolla in front of me then decided to utilize cop karma to keep from getting a ticket. He slammed on his brakes and then proceeded to drive 42 for three miles, but it didn't work: he got bagged 18 seconds later.

by JustAnotherGuy January 15, 2014

We Need to Sit Down and Think About This

A very long, profound way of saying, "Let's have a 3-hour meeting about how to do 5 minutes' worth of work."

Bob: "Should I book the grant money at quarter end or a third each month?"

Bob's Boss: "Well that might have an effect when we try to qualify the income. If the Board can't correlate the paradigm shift correctly, they might not be able to understand how we cross-mapped the budget and the actuals. We need to sit down and think about this."

Bob: "I should've just fucking posted it."

by JustAnotherGuy February 3, 2010

Just-In-Case Christian

What people who don't think they need to be forgiven for anything call people who think they'll be forgiven for everything. Normally it's fun to point out hypocrisy, but when the person doing so is being a hypocrite in the process, it threatens to break the Logical Shitstorm Continuum.

"Godless people like to point out all the just-in-case Christians, yet they're no better since they don't think they require forgiveness for anything. Must be nice to always have a clear conscience because you're your own god."

by JustAnotherGuy February 3, 2010

Assembly-safe Shuriken

Any small but dense food item served as an hors d'oeuvres at a wedding; the Spinach Vomit-bomb is the most common type of Assembly-safe Shuriken. Since there are always dozens of these left over when the cocktail hour has expired, mischievous guests load their pockets with them, then fling them at annoying guests - which is hard to spot when in a room with 225 people. Typical victims include annoying mother-in-laws, the guy who showed up in the white tux with a pickle stashed in his underpants, and that annoying aunt who manages to interrupt every dance and photo opportunity to get her ugly flowered dress and $10 Wal-Mart sneakers into the frame.

"Aunt May was being a total douchehound so I pegged that bitch in the head with an Assembly-safe Shuriken. Now they can get the wedding party photos done while she combs crumbs out of her hair for an hour."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010

Workplace Munchausen Syndrome

Disorder in the workplace where the person who does the least (if any) amount of work does the most complaining about "how busy" or "how crazy" the office is in order to garner sympathy from customers. The irony is that the person displaying Workplace Munchausen Syndrome looks like a fool to most of the people they whine to, since they are standing around whining while the workplace grinds on behind them, thus proving that they are irrelevant to the work being performed and/or the biggest slacker in the workplace.

Tami continuously complained about "how crazy" the workplace had been for the last six weeks, despite the fact that her inbox was full, her outbox was empty, and the customer she was complaining to was there to complain that she hadn't processed his check. She clearly has Workplace Munchausen Syndrome.

by JustAnotherGuy March 5, 2013

Logical Shitstorm Continuum

The Logical Shitstorm Continuum basically amounts to a giant "tank" where all the stupidest, most nonsensical and illogical things that people think, say, and do are being stored by God for the day when He gets to point out what a bunch of fucking assholes the lot of us are and how lucky we are that He forgives us for it. When this "tank" finally hits full, the Apocalypse will begin, the world will end, and a whole lot of people are going to say, "Wow, not only is there a God, but He really did keep track of every stupid thing I said and did."

It also serves as a storage facility for every one of Will Ferrell's movies, though this is keeping in line with the preceding definition.

"Think twice about making that speech, Mr. President. It threatens to break the Logical Shitstorm Continuum, and you don't want that to mark the end of your presidency."

"A new Will Ferrell movie was released this weekend, and the United Nations was relived to find that the Logical Shitstorm Continuum has remained intact."

by JustAnotherGuy February 3, 2010