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Cop Karma

"Intellectual" phenomena that leads people to believe going 15 under the speed limit for 3 miles after passing a cop will either:

A) Keep said cop from giving them a ticket for flying past him, or
B) Prevent subsequent cops from coming after them because they atoned for their speeding.
Despite the fact that he was doing 80 in a 55 zone when he passed the cop, the idiot in the Corolla in front of me then decided to utilize cop karma to keep from getting a ticket. He slammed on his brakes and then proceeded to drive 42 for three miles, but it didn't work: he got bagged 18 seconds later.
by JustAnotherGuy January 15, 2014
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A very long, profound way of saying, "Let's have a 3-hour meeting about how to do 5 minutes' worth of work."
Bob: "Should I book the grant money at quarter end or a third each month?"

Bob's Boss: "Well that might have an effect when we try to qualify the income. If the Board can't correlate the paradigm shift correctly, they might not be able to understand how we cross-mapped the budget and the actuals. We need to sit down and think about this."

Bob: "I should've just fucking posted it."
by JustAnotherGuy February 3, 2010
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Just-In-Case Christian

What people who don't think they need to be forgiven for anything call people who think they'll be forgiven for everything. Normally it's fun to point out hypocrisy, but when the person doing so is being a hypocrite in the process, it threatens to break the Logical Shitstorm Continuum.
"Godless people like to point out all the just-in-case Christians, yet they're no better since they don't think they require forgiveness for anything. Must be nice to always have a clear conscience because you're your own god."
by JustAnotherGuy February 3, 2010
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Assembly-safe Shuriken

Any small but dense food item served as an hors d'oeuvres at a wedding; the Spinach Vomit-bomb is the most common type of Assembly-safe Shuriken. Since there are always dozens of these left over when the cocktail hour has expired, mischievous guests load their pockets with them, then fling them at annoying guests - which is hard to spot when in a room with 225 people. Typical victims include annoying mother-in-laws, the guy who showed up in the white tux with a pickle stashed in his underpants, and that annoying aunt who manages to interrupt every dance and photo opportunity to get her ugly flowered dress and $10 Wal-Mart sneakers into the frame.
"Aunt May was being a total douchehound so I pegged that bitch in the head with an Assembly-safe Shuriken. Now they can get the wedding party photos done while she combs crumbs out of her hair for an hour."
by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010
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Logical Shitstorm Continuum

The Logical Shitstorm Continuum basically amounts to a giant "tank" where all the stupidest, most nonsensical and illogical things that people think, say, and do are being stored by God for the day when He gets to point out what a bunch of fucking assholes the lot of us are and how lucky we are that He forgives us for it. When this "tank" finally hits full, the Apocalypse will begin, the world will end, and a whole lot of people are going to say, "Wow, not only is there a God, but He really did keep track of every stupid thing I said and did."

It also serves as a storage facility for every one of Will Ferrell's movies, though this is keeping in line with the preceding definition.
"Think twice about making that speech, Mr. President. It threatens to break the Logical Shitstorm Continuum, and you don't want that to mark the end of your presidency."

"A new Will Ferrell movie was released this weekend, and the United Nations was relived to find that the Logical Shitstorm Continuum has remained intact."
by JustAnotherGuy February 3, 2010
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Thanksgiving

An ironic holiday where millions of people who claim there is no God take time out of their lives to give thanks to some as-yet undefined scientific principle. Only in America do people celebrate a math problem with a holiday, wherein they call all their religious friends stupid while thanking an exploded fart for creating the universe. Still millions more lament the fact that everything they have in life came at the expense of another human being (the native Americans), despite the fact that every society in the history of mankind has been the same.

A holiday where a select few celebrate by being thankful for what they have, rather than reveling in a self-induced guilt trip over what others don't have.
"Thanksgiving, that wonderful holiday that should really be called I Fucking Earned This Day by most of the people who 'celebrate' it."
by JustAnotherGuy August 19, 2012
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