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JustAnotherGuy's definitions

Seagulls

Nature's version of welfare recipients.
Seagulls and welfare recipients are a lot alike...they both sit around waiting for handouts, spawn uncontrollably, and make a lot of noise that irritates the shit out of everything around them.
by JustAnotherGuy October 26, 2012
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Assembly-safe Shuriken

Any small but dense food item served as an hors d'oeuvres at a wedding; the Spinach Vomit-bomb is the most common type of Assembly-safe Shuriken. Since there are always dozens of these left over when the cocktail hour has expired, mischievous guests load their pockets with them, then fling them at annoying guests - which is hard to spot when in a room with 225 people. Typical victims include annoying mother-in-laws, the guy who showed up in the white tux with a pickle stashed in his underpants, and that annoying aunt who manages to interrupt every dance and photo opportunity to get her ugly flowered dress and $10 Wal-Mart sneakers into the frame.
"Aunt May was being a total douchehound so I pegged that bitch in the head with an Assembly-safe Shuriken. Now they can get the wedding party photos done while she combs crumbs out of her hair for an hour."
by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010
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Chicken Surprise

How the wait staff refers to Ancient Ass-cheese Flowers and Spinach Vomit-bombs at weddings; when the guests ask what one of these disgusting hors d'oeuvres is, the wait staff will say "Chicken Surprise." What happens next usually results in the waiter getting written up or even fired, but it's usually worth it.
Obnoxious Guest: "Hey, what's this thing here?"
Waiter: "Chicken Surprise."
Obnoxious Guest: "Hmph, this doesn't taste like it's chicken."
Waiter, with a fuck-you smile: "Surprise."
by JustAnotherGuy March 18, 2010
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Queen of Hearts

The worst kind of friend, the Queen of Hearts refers to any woman who tries to upstage the bride at a wedding by wearing something unbelievably eye-catching - typically "that sexy red dress" or something similar. The Queen of Hearts is a total cunt, and if anyone pulled a similar move at her wedding it would likely trigger the apocalypse. The best way to deal with the Queen of Hearts is to inform her - in the center of the dance floor with everyone watching - that the bachelor party is in the next room over. Failing that, you can always resort to hitting her with an Assembly-safe Shuriken.
"We went to Dan and Molly's wedding Saturday, and her friend Mora pulled a total Queen of Hearts - she showed up in a red dress with more frills than a Congressman's health insurance."
by JustAnotherGuy March 30, 2010
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Knuckle Fucker

1. Slang term used for any male douchebag who is rude, disrespectful, belligerent, violent, angst-filled or otherwise aggravating on account of the fact that he can't get laid.

2. Any young male whose only real use is pumping protein samples into socks or garbage pails.

3. A griefer in an MMO.
1. "Hey knuckle fucker, sit down and shut the hell up, and stop making a scene because you're a limp-dicked little douchebag that couldn't get his dick wet if he jumped in a fucking lake."

2. Tuef, Bum, Toneslice, Noobslice, etc.

3. "I'm trying to get my gear fixed but there's some knuckle fucker spawn camping the repair guy." Also see #2.
by JustAnotherGuy July 1, 2008
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Logical Shitstorm Continuum

The Logical Shitstorm Continuum basically amounts to a giant "tank" where all the stupidest, most nonsensical and illogical things that people think, say, and do are being stored by God for the day when He gets to point out what a bunch of fucking assholes the lot of us are and how lucky we are that He forgives us for it. When this "tank" finally hits full, the Apocalypse will begin, the world will end, and a whole lot of people are going to say, "Wow, not only is there a God, but He really did keep track of every stupid thing I said and did."

It also serves as a storage facility for every one of Will Ferrell's movies, though this is keeping in line with the preceding definition.
"Think twice about making that speech, Mr. President. It threatens to break the Logical Shitstorm Continuum, and you don't want that to mark the end of your presidency."

"A new Will Ferrell movie was released this weekend, and the United Nations was relived to find that the Logical Shitstorm Continuum has remained intact."
by JustAnotherGuy February 3, 2010
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Disorder in the workplace where the person who does the least (if any) amount of work does the most complaining about "how busy" or "how crazy" the office is in order to garner sympathy from customers. The irony is that the person displaying Workplace Munchausen Syndrome looks like a fool to most of the people they whine to, since they are standing around whining while the workplace grinds on behind them, thus proving that they are irrelevant to the work being performed and/or the biggest slacker in the workplace.
Tami continuously complained about "how crazy" the workplace had been for the last six weeks, despite the fact that her inbox was full, her outbox was empty, and the customer she was complaining to was there to complain that she hadn't processed his check. She clearly has Workplace Munchausen Syndrome.
by JustAnotherGuy March 5, 2013
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