JustAnotherGuy's definitions
Any small but dense food item served as an hors d'oeuvres at a wedding; the Spinach Vomit-bomb is the most common type of Assembly-safe Shuriken. Since there are always dozens of these left over when the cocktail hour has expired, mischievous guests load their pockets with them, then fling them at annoying guests - which is hard to spot when in a room with 225 people. Typical victims include annoying mother-in-laws, the guy who showed up in the white tux with a pickle stashed in his underpants, and that annoying aunt who manages to interrupt every dance and photo opportunity to get her ugly flowered dress and $10 Wal-Mart sneakers into the frame.
"Aunt May was being a total douchehound so I pegged that bitch in the head with an Assembly-safe Shuriken. Now they can get the wedding party photos done while she combs crumbs out of her hair for an hour."
by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010
Get the Assembly-safe Shurikenmug. Something so fucking predictable they could just record it and play the same tape over and over every day. It's always exactly the same, and ignores anything not within a 2-mile radius of the center of Providence.
"95 North is slow between Thurber's Avenue and the State Offices Exit, 195-westbound is backed up from Broadway to the I-95 split, 95 South is slow from Atwells Avenue to the 146-merge, 146 South you're on your brakes from Admiral Street to the 95 merge, and the 6-10 Connector is backed up to Dean Street...I'm Jim Stearns with your Wheelock Auto Rhode Island Traffic Report."
by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010
Get the Rhode Island Traffic Reportmug. "Intellectual" phenomena that leads people to believe going 15 under the speed limit for 3 miles after passing a cop will either:
A) Keep said cop from giving them a ticket for flying past him, or
B) Prevent subsequent cops from coming after them because they atoned for their speeding.
A) Keep said cop from giving them a ticket for flying past him, or
B) Prevent subsequent cops from coming after them because they atoned for their speeding.
Despite the fact that he was doing 80 in a 55 zone when he passed the cop, the idiot in the Corolla in front of me then decided to utilize cop karma to keep from getting a ticket. He slammed on his brakes and then proceeded to drive 42 for three miles, but it didn't work: he got bagged 18 seconds later.
by JustAnotherGuy January 15, 2014
Get the Cop Karmamug. Better known as Saturday to the rest of the world, on Rhode Island Sunday all the drunks and old people come out of the woodwork to make sure those with lives can't get anywhere without at least a 45-minute commute. The methodology is comprised of several art forms, including the Rhode Island Roadblock, the Rhode Island Rubberneck, and the Flashing-Lights Brake-dance.
The scariest part of Rhode Island Sunday is that when compounded with an actual Sunday, the Rhode Island Sunday drivers and the *real* Sunday drivers are all on the road together, thus creating the greatest clusterfuck this side of Los Angeles.
The scariest part of Rhode Island Sunday is that when compounded with an actual Sunday, the Rhode Island Sunday drivers and the *real* Sunday drivers are all on the road together, thus creating the greatest clusterfuck this side of Los Angeles.
"We're going to see Tom Petty at the Comcast Center, but the concert's on a Rhode Island Sunday so we have to leave an extra hour early."
by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010
Get the Rhode Island Sundaymug. The worst kind of friend, the Queen of Hearts refers to any woman who tries to upstage the bride at a wedding by wearing something unbelievably eye-catching - typically "that sexy red dress" or something similar. The Queen of Hearts is a total cunt, and if anyone pulled a similar move at her wedding it would likely trigger the apocalypse. The best way to deal with the Queen of Hearts is to inform her - in the center of the dance floor with everyone watching - that the bachelor party is in the next room over. Failing that, you can always resort to hitting her with an Assembly-safe Shuriken.
"We went to Dan and Molly's wedding Saturday, and her friend Mora pulled a total Queen of Hearts - she showed up in a red dress with more frills than a Congressman's health insurance."
by JustAnotherGuy March 30, 2010
Get the Queen of Heartsmug. by Justanotherguy April 14, 2023
Get the 🏍️mug. Mental condition wherein human beings see other human beings as filthy animals while seeing dogs as their brothers, sisters, or, most often, children. Condition may cause said persons to do the following:
- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.
- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.
- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.
- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.
- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.
It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.
- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.
- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.
- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.
- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.
It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
Some woman with canine dysfunction was carrying her poodle around the grocery store and made a huge scene when she was told that only Seeing-Eye Dogs were allowed in the store. It only got more awkward when she declared that she and her "child" were leaving and would be talking to a lawyer about a discrimination suit.
by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012
Get the Canine Dysfunctionmug.