JustAnotherGuy's definitions

Rhode Island Tourism

A day's worth of activities including looking at brown rivers, old crumbling mills, a windmill they stuck on the side of the interstate, a thoroughly unimpressive skyline, a bunch of wood fires set out on the water, and wrapping it up by driving past the Big Blue Bug on the side of I-95S. Wow.

"It's hard to believe that Rhode Island Tourism is real, especially when you consider there's nothing here and most of the out-of-state plates you see are really just residents dodging the vehicle tax."

by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010

Assembly-safe Shuriken

Any small but dense food item served as an hors d'oeuvres at a wedding; the Spinach Vomit-bomb is the most common type of Assembly-safe Shuriken. Since there are always dozens of these left over when the cocktail hour has expired, mischievous guests load their pockets with them, then fling them at annoying guests - which is hard to spot when in a room with 225 people. Typical victims include annoying mother-in-laws, the guy who showed up in the white tux with a pickle stashed in his underpants, and that annoying aunt who manages to interrupt every dance and photo opportunity to get her ugly flowered dress and $10 Wal-Mart sneakers into the frame.

"Aunt May was being a total douchehound so I pegged that bitch in the head with an Assembly-safe Shuriken. Now they can get the wedding party photos done while she combs crumbs out of her hair for an hour."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010

Spinach Vomit-bomb

A type of hors d'oeuvres that either comes in a frozen package in the supermarket or is made at a banquet facility for weddings or similar functions. Quite often, the banquet facility gets these nasty little shits from those same supermarket frozen packages. The Spinach Vomit-bomb is a wretched piece of flimsy dough packed with the nastiest, most dried out spinach that tastes more like something you might scrape out of your pool when you reopen it. Typically used more as ammunition (see Assembly-safe Shuriken), these pieces of unforgivably disgusting shit can usually be found in piles on serving trays by the time cocktail hour expires.

Jim: "God, I was almost hungry enough to eat a few of those Spinach Vomit-bombs they were serving."

Jack: "Glad you didn't, now we have more ammo to pelt Aunt Rose and Uncle Dave with."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010

Dumb-waiter

Not to be confused with the small elevator-like devices found in restaurants, hotels and such, "dumb-waiter" refers to the idiot - and there's always one - serving hors d'oeuvres to the bride and groom at a wedding who allows their tray to be pillaged of anything edible before they even get to the wedding party. Thus, they only have Spinach Vomit-bombs left by the time they get to the bride and groom, who wrap a bunch of these disgusting ass nuggets in a napkin to later pelt the wait staff with when no one's looking.

"Not surprisingly, the maitre d' assigned the dumb-waiter to bring hors d'oeuvres to the wedding party, and the fat shits lumbering up the front steps emptied the tray before the guy even got there."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010

Ancient Ass-cheese Flower

Yet another type of grotesque hors d'oeuvres typically served during weddings and other functions at a banquet hall. Just what the hell makes these things up is anyone's guess, but in general, it's a fluffy pastry-like hors d'oeuvre that is stuffed with cheese that tastes like it fermented in someone's ass for a few weeks before being served. Typically only eaten by people who were denied a meal for three hours by an absurdly long wedding ceremony and then had to wait for a few hours for pictures to be taken, this is a stomach-ache in the making for all but the most iron-gutted people. Too messy to be used as an Assembly-safe Shuriken, these pieces of crap are best used as skipping stones if the banquet facility features a nearby body of water.

"Spinach Vomit-bombs and Ancient Ass-cheese Flowers...glad to see Bob and Sue sprang for only the highest-quality food for their reception."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010

Chicken Surprise

How the wait staff refers to Ancient Ass-cheese Flowers and Spinach Vomit-bombs at weddings; when the guests ask what one of these disgusting hors d'oeuvres is, the wait staff will say "Chicken Surprise." What happens next usually results in the waiter getting written up or even fired, but it's usually worth it.

Obnoxious Guest: "Hey, what's this thing here?"
Waiter: "Chicken Surprise."
Obnoxious Guest: "Hmph, this doesn't taste like it's chicken."
Waiter, with a fuck-you smile: "Surprise."

by JustAnotherGuy March 18, 2010

Knuckle Fucker

1. Slang term used for any male douchebag who is rude, disrespectful, belligerent, violent, angst-filled or otherwise aggravating on account of the fact that he can't get laid.

2. Any young male whose only real use is pumping protein samples into socks or garbage pails.

3. A griefer in an MMO.

1. "Hey knuckle fucker, sit down and shut the hell up, and stop making a scene because you're a limp-dicked little douchebag that couldn't get his dick wet if he jumped in a fucking lake."

2. Tuef, Bum, Toneslice, Noobslice, etc.

3. "I'm trying to get my gear fixed but there's some knuckle fucker spawn camping the repair guy." Also see #2.

by JustAnotherGuy July 1, 2008