JustAnotherGuy's definitions
Mental condition wherein human beings see other human beings as filthy animals while seeing dogs as their brothers, sisters, or, most often, children. Condition may cause said persons to do the following:
- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.
- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.
- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.
- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.
- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.
It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
- become filled with outrage when a dog is killed, even accidentally; however, when humans are killed or abused, they turn a blind eye to it.
- bring their dogs into restaurants and supermarkets and become outraged when told that their pet doesn't belong there, insisting it is "a member of their family" and that the store is discriminating against them.
- pay thousands of dollars for their pets to have treatments for cancer, but bemoan human beings "running up huge hopsital bills for their family" when trying to survive cancer.
- make hilarious statements such as "I would rather heaven was full of dogs than people," not realizing that such would mean they wouldn't be there, either.
- feed their dog from their dinner table and even let the dog take stuff right off of their plate, but get mad if someone "breaches protocol" by eating with their fingers or putting their elbows on the table.
It is important to note that Canine Dysfunction is not limited to dog owners, but can also affect the owners of any other type of house pet, both common and uncommon, in a similar fashion with regard to their animal of choice.
Some woman with canine dysfunction was carrying her poodle around the grocery store and made a huge scene when she was told that only Seeing-Eye Dogs were allowed in the store. It only got more awkward when she declared that she and her "child" were leaving and would be talking to a lawyer about a discrimination suit.
by JustAnotherGuy October 16, 2012
Get the Canine Dysfunction mug.When you come to Urbandictionary.com and flood the site with stupid definitions about Mitt Romney or Barrack Obama as if anyone's vote hinges on your so-called wit.
The Urban Campaigning after every debate left the editors with a veritable shitstorm of asinine definitions to sort through which, while funny and sometimes even true, are generally worthless and unoriginal. I know, because I am one.
by JustAnotherGuy October 26, 2012
Get the Urban Campaigning mug.An atheist is a person who does not believe in the existence of *ANY* god(s). This term is consistently misused in modern society.
- Refusing to worship God doesn't make one an atheist. If one says things like "well God lets this stuff happen, so I don't believe in him...," it demonstrates that one does believe in God, they just choose not to follow him.
- Many self-proclaimed "atheists" actually hate God. Since it is illogical to hate something you profess does not exist, people who hate God cannot by definition be atheists. If your attitude is "well God lets this happen, so screw Him..." then you're not an atheist.
- People who "don't believe in Jesus" aren't atheists, they're just not Christians. Jews don't believe in Jesus either, that doesn't make them atheists.
- People who say "I'll find out when I get there" aren't atheists, they're agnostics.
- People who join a "National Organization of Atheists" are not atheists; if you don't believe something exists, you don't make a society dedicated to not believing it exists. That's nonsense.
- Refusing to worship God doesn't make one an atheist. If one says things like "well God lets this stuff happen, so I don't believe in him...," it demonstrates that one does believe in God, they just choose not to follow him.
- Many self-proclaimed "atheists" actually hate God. Since it is illogical to hate something you profess does not exist, people who hate God cannot by definition be atheists. If your attitude is "well God lets this happen, so screw Him..." then you're not an atheist.
- People who "don't believe in Jesus" aren't atheists, they're just not Christians. Jews don't believe in Jesus either, that doesn't make them atheists.
- People who say "I'll find out when I get there" aren't atheists, they're agnostics.
- People who join a "National Organization of Atheists" are not atheists; if you don't believe something exists, you don't make a society dedicated to not believing it exists. That's nonsense.
There are very few true atheists in the world. Most "atheists" are actually just people with an axe to grind with God.
by JustAnotherGuy February 12, 2013
Get the Atheist mug.An ironic holiday where millions of people who claim there is no God take time out of their lives to give thanks to some as-yet undefined scientific principle. Only in America do people celebrate a math problem with a holiday, wherein they call all their religious friends stupid while thanking an exploded fart for creating the universe. Still millions more lament the fact that everything they have in life came at the expense of another human being (the native Americans), despite the fact that every society in the history of mankind has been the same.
A holiday where a select few celebrate by being thankful for what they have, rather than reveling in a self-induced guilt trip over what others don't have.
A holiday where a select few celebrate by being thankful for what they have, rather than reveling in a self-induced guilt trip over what others don't have.
"Thanksgiving, that wonderful holiday that should really be called I Fucking Earned This Day by most of the people who 'celebrate' it."
by JustAnotherGuy August 19, 2012
Get the Thanksgiving mug.A type of hors d'oeuvres that either comes in a frozen package in the supermarket or is made at a banquet facility for weddings or similar functions. Quite often, the banquet facility gets these nasty little shits from those same supermarket frozen packages. The Spinach Vomit-bomb is a wretched piece of flimsy dough packed with the nastiest, most dried out spinach that tastes more like something you might scrape out of your pool when you reopen it. Typically used more as ammunition (see Assembly-safe Shuriken), these pieces of unforgivably disgusting shit can usually be found in piles on serving trays by the time cocktail hour expires.
Jim: "God, I was almost hungry enough to eat a few of those Spinach Vomit-bombs they were serving."
Jack: "Glad you didn't, now we have more ammo to pelt Aunt Rose and Uncle Dave with."
Jack: "Glad you didn't, now we have more ammo to pelt Aunt Rose and Uncle Dave with."
by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010
Get the Spinach Vomit-bomb mug.Seagulls and welfare recipients are a lot alike...they both sit around waiting for handouts, spawn uncontrollably, and make a lot of noise that irritates the shit out of everything around them.
by JustAnotherGuy October 26, 2012
Get the Seagulls mug.A socio-political group that believes the best way to stamp out things like crime, unacceptable behavior, and other forms of social deviance is to legalize and/or accept everything. However, the hypocrisy of Liberals stems from their intolerance of anything that is not a liberal; i.e., they accept anything but a conservative mindset.
Examples:
1. Drug dealers will no longer be criminals if we legalize drugs, so let's do that.
2. Gays will no longer be ostracized if we legalize gay marriage, so let's do that.
3. Christians are an awfully intolerant lot; let's outlaw Christianity in public places like schools and judicial institutions.
Another political core attribute of the Liberal is to exploit demographics to gain power. This is accomplished by convincing low-income, no income, and/or non-residents (read: illegal aliens) that the rich somehow owe them something, but that the benefit comes from the Liberals and not from the rich who are actually footing the bill. So when the voting booths open, all the people who don't work for a living vote for more people who don't work for a living so that those who do work for a living can work their asses off to support useless people.
This can be seen in the government's "Section 8 Housing" program, where foreigners move to the United States with their 5 children, no husband, and are immediately set up in a free apartment with free food stamps, free health coverage, and free Cox High-Speed Internet and Digital Cable. Don't believe me? I audit Section 8 Housing for a living. I see it first hand. You, the taxpayers, are getting fucked in the ass and not even being kissed first.
Yet another important note about Liberals is that they flaunt surpluses as if the money came out of Heaven like the Manna of the Old Testament. They fail to tell you that an $80 Billion surplus doesn't mean they're frugal, it means they overcharged the taxpayers $80B. Sorry you can't pay your rent, but hey, at least there was an $80 Billion surplus so the government must be doing something right.
The final thing I'll note about Liberals is that they will get all offended by this definition, thinking it implies Conservatives are smarter and/or always right, which is purely not the case. Both sides suck in their own particular way, welcome to human nature.
Examples:
1. Drug dealers will no longer be criminals if we legalize drugs, so let's do that.
2. Gays will no longer be ostracized if we legalize gay marriage, so let's do that.
3. Christians are an awfully intolerant lot; let's outlaw Christianity in public places like schools and judicial institutions.
Another political core attribute of the Liberal is to exploit demographics to gain power. This is accomplished by convincing low-income, no income, and/or non-residents (read: illegal aliens) that the rich somehow owe them something, but that the benefit comes from the Liberals and not from the rich who are actually footing the bill. So when the voting booths open, all the people who don't work for a living vote for more people who don't work for a living so that those who do work for a living can work their asses off to support useless people.
This can be seen in the government's "Section 8 Housing" program, where foreigners move to the United States with their 5 children, no husband, and are immediately set up in a free apartment with free food stamps, free health coverage, and free Cox High-Speed Internet and Digital Cable. Don't believe me? I audit Section 8 Housing for a living. I see it first hand. You, the taxpayers, are getting fucked in the ass and not even being kissed first.
Yet another important note about Liberals is that they flaunt surpluses as if the money came out of Heaven like the Manna of the Old Testament. They fail to tell you that an $80 Billion surplus doesn't mean they're frugal, it means they overcharged the taxpayers $80B. Sorry you can't pay your rent, but hey, at least there was an $80 Billion surplus so the government must be doing something right.
The final thing I'll note about Liberals is that they will get all offended by this definition, thinking it implies Conservatives are smarter and/or always right, which is purely not the case. Both sides suck in their own particular way, welcome to human nature.
The Liberals are for Big Government, Big Taxes, Big Spending, and Big Talk. They disguise this by accusing the Conservatives of being Big Brother.
by JustAnotherGuy February 19, 2005
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