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Joshua B. Wright's definitions

Drown Baby Moses

Expression:

In the vain of ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US, this obscure pop-culture ejaculation finds its origin in the now notorious NES platformer Bible Adventures. A quirk of the game's mechanics enabled the player, otherwise entrusted with the safe conveyance of the baby Moses across the Nile, to commit a most heinous act of infanticide by tossing the little fellow in the drink. The player would then be admonished at the conclusion of the mission that he or she had "forgotten baby Moses" - no doubt to the delight of the thousands of disgruntled children inclined to such acts of violence by being forced to play Bible Adventures instead of a real video game.

As an expression, its variety in use is exceeded only by its capacity to offend. Generally, however, "Drown Baby Moses" is employed referentially in comparisons with gaffes of a similar nature; in disputes over which video game gaffe is the worst, it is often invoked as a trump card.
"You think THAT'S bad? Well, I have three words for you my friend: Drown Baby Moses."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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mental constipation

An inability to articulate one's thoughts or ideas, resulting in significant psychological distress and frustration.

Typically, this form of cognitive impaction is self-resolving. However, in cases where productive interchange with the afflicted is urgently needed, a deadline may be administered; indeed, this has proven to be one of the most effective treatments for stubborn cases of mental constipation.
Mark: "So, you know, it's like... uh, er... damn, you know, that, uh... thing!"
Dave: "Yeesh. It's too bad that they don't make a laxative for mental constipation!"
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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flawless victory

Expression:

An expression frequently employed by IRC chatters and message board posters as an appraisal of a particularly apt or acute rejoinder - the winning move in a war of words.
H4x0r J03: "LOLR0FL DUD3Z U WRI73 F4NFICZ??!!11!! 0MFGROFL!!!!1!! TH47 I5 3NUF T0 M4K3Z YU0 4LL T3H 0T4KU F4NB0I L4M3RZ!!!"
Mark: "Not like your fifty gigabyte collection of pirated DBZ mpegs huh?"
Dave: "Flawless victory!"
by Joshua B. Wright April 10, 2004
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Bible Adventures

Noun:

Often cited as one of the worst video games ever made, Bible Adventures was a 2D platforming title produced for the NES by the now infamous video game company Color Dreams while doing business under the name of "Wisdom Tree Software."

In truth, Bible Adventures was merely a sub-par NES game that probably would have faded away into pop culture oblivion were it not for the notoriety of its development house and one acutely humorous game play quirk that made it possible to drown baby Moses.

Otherwise destined to be forgotten, Bible Adventures thus endures - an immortal testament to the endless comic potential when religion, entertainment and capitalism collide.
"In my estimation, Episode II is the Bible Adventures of the silver screen."

"The plan was flawless, and the Pope himself made a huge blue hat out of the strangely colored Bible Adventures cartridges. He was happy his sheep were finally able to praise Jesus through three gloriously unplayable games on a single baby blue colored NES cartridge!" - Sean Baby
by Joshua B. Wright April 4, 2004
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cognitive impaction

Noun:

Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning.

Cases of cognitive impaction can frequently be identified by inarticulate attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases.

Also see mental constipation.
"Overwhelmed at the prospect of having the bounty of an entire doughnut shop all to himself, Homer immediately suffered a massive cognitive impaction that reduced him to little more than a drooling mass of manflesh."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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deadline

Noun, Temporal:

Designates the approximate point in time at which work begins in earnest; employee motivation is frequently observed to be "dead" before the deadline draws near.
"Christ, it's the nearly deadline already?! Hey Pete, put down the controller my friend - it's time that we looked at these shuttle schematics."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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Arm Cannon

Noun:

Megaman's preferred weapon; a retractable prosthesis that fires plasma charges.
"...and so, with a final blast of his arm cannon, Megaman laid the diabolical Dr. Wily's latest mad creation to waste!"
by Joshua B. Wright April 7, 2004
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