John Heinz Kerry's definitions

mohawk

A hairstyle second only to the emo swoop among anal-jousting flamers.

Soon you'll realize that the pay in the tatoo parlor is not enough to support a human being, & shave that shit off.

Last night, I held on to Bob's mohawk so I could administer the perfect donkeypunch.

by John Heinz Kerry April 12, 2005

lowrider

A vehicle created by a beaner as a use for cash that should probably go to pay his huge child support debt. Usually involves taking some 1970's-era piece of shit and putting about $50,000 worth of hydraulics, custom paint, and wheels into it.

Check out Manuel's Monte Carlo - ai buey, what a cool lowrider, esay.

by John Heinz Kerry November 2, 2004

mongolian talking sickness

A disease, exclusively afflicting those of the slanty-eyed persuasion, that prevents them from using the plural form of any word.

Speaking as if there is only one of everything in the world.

The chow mein contain mushroom, onion, bean sprout, bamboo shoot, carrot, and noodle.

by John Heinz Kerry March 7, 2005

Tookie

(1) To feed worms with a dirt nap that began around 12:30 am December 13, 2005. Shot in the arm by the anti-crime vaccine. Hooray for the needle.

(2) To show cawardice by founding one of the most despicable and hateful organizations in the history of mankind; fearing death because of your murder conviction; showing no remorse for killing four innocent people; and then writing children's books because you fear retribution for your crimes.

I hope they soon go Tookie on Scott Peterson, instead of letting him sit around for 30 years and find a reason we should feel sorry for killing him.

by John Heinz Kerry December 29, 2005

stretched lobes

Another reason to kill a random stranger - his or her desire to turn himself into a pseudo-African tribesman.

Dude, the tunneler would be cute except for those earlobes you cold jam a baseball through. Oh, and her 67 tatoos and 14 other piercings. I wonder if she works at (insert loser job here).

by John Heinz Kerry April 19, 2005

celica

Car owned by a stupid ass who can't spell people or Celica. See urbtards.

Damn! I shoold pay moor atenshun in skool so I coold lurn to spel goodur.
Dumbass.

by John Heinz Kerry March 10, 2005

kilt

A pussy cover worn by Scottish "men." Reminds men who do not wear dresses why Scotland has never been a factor in any war since about 500 b.c.

Hey sweetie, when you're done ironing your kilt, bring your ass over here and play my bagpipe.

by John Heinz Kerry August 21, 2006